What Can Come of Heartbreak
by greenergirl
Summary: Brittany left Santana for a reason but when someone from her past stumbles into her life will the reason behind the break up and her new life be revealed. Canon until 4x08. (Rated M for possible triggers)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay so this is my first story so have patience it might start off a bit rough. I decided to write this after reading so many awesome stories on fanfic :) It's also to help heal my bleeding Brittana heart, all I can say is screw you Ryan Murphy :( It starts off angsty but I promise things will get better in time it's all part of the plot :) Hope you enjoy and please review if you want more :D.**

**H x**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the right's to Glee.**

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Brittany's POV

Today is possibly the hardest day of my life. I'm lying here dealing with one of the most difficult experiences I have ever gone through, alone. It's my fault really, I chose to be alone. When I decided to break the heart of the one person I had ever truly loved I chose my fate. The memory of that night is still fresh in my mind, like it was only yesterday. The pain it causes me when I think about it is still agonizing. It was around seven months ago that I left the one person who I loved the most.

* * *

_I was sitting on the ground in my bedroom shell shocked, clutching the phone praying that what had just happened was some cruel joke. This was all too much, it couldn't have all happened in one day. Curled up on the floor with my knees pulled tightly against my chest I try to decide what I'm supposed to do now, or even how to do anything. The noise of a door opening causes me to jump and I hear footsteps enter the hall. Someone shouts for me but I can't respond._

"_Hey Britt, are you home?" _

_I just sit there unable to reply to the voice, too shocked to talk and even if I could my throat was so dry I doubt any words would actually come out. I hear the person shout again, this time they seem closer than before. I still don't respond though I just remain silent curled up on the floor._

"_Babe, are you here?"_

_The footsteps move further across the apartment, getting closer to me and then the suddenly slow. The sound of the door to the bedroom opening rings through my ears and then someone steps in. Sluggishly looking up I see a brunette Latina, the love of my life, standing in the doorway looking cautiously at me. When her chocolate brown eyes lock with mine the Latinas brow furrows in confusion. A look of worry crosses her face as she takes in my curled up body on the floor. Once she's looked me over she quickly hurries over to my side pulling me into her body and clutching me in a tightly._

"_Britt-Britt baby, what's wrong?" The brunette coos stroking my hair gently, trying to sooth me._

_I look at her disbelievingly, what was I supposed to tell this wonderful woman who meant everything to me? How could I tell her what I had done? How could I crush her dreams? That's when reality hit me square in the face and I slowly begin to move, struggling out of the brunettes embrace. I move away from her and straighten up so I'm sitting cross legged on the floor staring at the woman in front of me. The phone was still clutched tightly in my hands and I felt as if it were about to cut them in half. My mouth opens to speak but the words seemed to die on my tongue and nothing comes out. The brunette makes a move towards me but I hold my hand out to stop her, looking into her eyes pleadingly, silently trying to tell her to give me time and I would tell her everything. The brunette seems to understand me and she gives me the slightest nod before resting back down into a sitting position with her back pressed against the end of the bed. We sit there in silence staring into each other's eyes for God knows how long before I finally get the courage to speak._

"_Santana, I need to tell you something, but you're gonna hate me." My voice comes out timidly as I start talking. Looking down into my lap miserably I struggle for what to say next._

_The brunette reaches out her hand tentatively as if fearing rejection. When I make no move to get away from her she gently takes my hand in her own and places a finger on my chin, lifting my head so that our eyes met._

"_Brittany I could never hate you but you need to tell me what's going on cause you're scaring me know. You know I'll love you no matter what." The brunette speaks softly._

_Those words hit me like a ton of bricks, 'I'll love you no matter what.' They drive e to do what is about to happen next, looking away from the Latina and back at my lap, I prepare to speak again my heart already aching from the words about to be said, but it has to be done._

_While fidgeting with a ring on my finger I begin to speak. "Okay, but promise not to interrupt until I say I'm finished." The brunette nods. "So we've only been back together for a month right," the brunette nods again "and before that you said we could be with other people and explore out 'attractions' right?" Another nod. "Well when we were apart, I met someone new, and I think I want to be with them." The brunette's eyes widen in shock and her mouth falls open._

"_Britt, wh-" the brunette starts but is cut off._

"_You said you wouldn't interrupt." The Latina just stares at me, her eyes filling with unshed tears. She lets out another hesitant nod and I begin again. "I do love you Santana, it's just I love him just as much. He can give me things you can't." The brunette's heart seems to be slowly breaking with each word I say, I can't stop though, I have to keep going, I have to break her heart or she will never leave me. We love each other too much for that. "I can have a normal relationship with him, an easier life. We can get married and have kids without any issues." These words cause the first tear to fall from the brunettes eyes. "I think it's time for this high school relationship to end, it was never going last forever." A steady stream of tears is flowing down the brunette's face now and I look up at her sadly. "I'm done now, you can speak."_

_The Latina just stares at me tears running down her face, make up to slowly smearing leaving black tracks behind the watery droplets. She opens her mouth to speak but it just hangs open limply, no sounds coming from it. Closing her mouth her head falls so she's looking at the floor. After a while the brunette's head then starts to slowly shake from side to side. I watch the sadness in her eyes quickly transform in to anger and I prepare myself for what's I know is coming. The brunette's head quickly snaps up and she looks at me, eyes burning with rage._

"_You told me you loved me more than anything else in this world!" She shouts face contorting with rage tears still streaming down her face. "You told me you'd be proud to be with me! You're leaving me for a guy because it's 'easier'!" She practically screams. "I gave you my heart, I waited for you to break up with Artie, I waited while you repeated senior year. I even let you go so you could be happy and not feel trapped in a long distance relationship!" The brunette jumps to her feet staring at me harshly. "Then you just leave me for a guy. We get back together and get an apartment and move to a new city and all the while you have feelings for someone else! How could you do that to me!" The brunette's body is now shaking with sobs as tears continue to stream down her face. "Then you have the nerve to tell me you think me being a woman is a problem! Do you know how much you saying that hurts? It makes it seem like I was just your fuck buddy until some man came along!" She screams heartbreak etched across her face. The Latina's eyes seem to fade and her body sags as she continues speak in an eerily calm voice. "You know what, I'm sorry I loved you Brittany. I'm sorry that I gave my heart, no my entire being to you when you didn't want it. So if this guy is who you want then you can fuck off and be with him." The brunette regains her posture angrily pointing towards the door. "Get the fuck out, NOW!" she shrieks._

_Standing up slowly I make my way over to the door, I knew this would happen but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I chose this though, it's for the best. I turn around and see the brunette staring at me a mixture of anger, sadness and complete heart break engraved across her face._

"_I'll get my sister to pick up my things." I whisper dejectedly before turning to walk out the door, I pause in the doorway and give one last look to the love of my life, the only one who has ever really understood me, the one I had to let go of, before turning around walking out and closing the door behind me. I lean against the closed door and wave of tears starts running down my face as I finally let my emotions take over._

* * *

That was the last time I'd seen Santana, and now here I am seven months later in the most unimaginable pain, alone. A man is talking from the other side of the room and I try to focus on what he's saying but the pain is making it difficult.

"Come on Brittany we're almost there, we just need one more push." I hear the man encouraging me.

Groaning I slowly pull all the strength I have left and when I hear the man yell I put all my effort into the final push and suddenly feel the painful pressure relieve slightly. The room is quiet for a minute and then it's filled with a high pitched scream. A woman comes up next to me and strokes my arm gently.

"Well done honey, you did it, it's all over now. Just relax okay, we'll clean her up and then you can see her." The woman whispers quietly to me.

My head snaps towards the woman beside me and I look at her wide eyed.

"She's a girl?" I question exhausted.

"Yes sweetie, a beautiful baby girl." The nurse smiles down at me.

There's movement beside the bed and the doctor appears with a bundle of pink blankets in his arms. Looking up at the bundle my heart starts to beat faster, in that mass of pink polyester was my baby.

The doctor smiles down at me. "You ready to meet your little girl?" he asks.

Regarding the bundle unsurely I tentatively nod my head and reach out my arms. The doctor slowly places my baby in my arms and I look down at her not believing what I was seeing. She's perfect. Her light caramel skin makes it look like she has the perfect tan and it felt amazingly soft under my hands. On top of her head is a bundle of thick curly blonde locks the same color as mine had been as a baby. Awe stuck by the little miracle in my arms that I had created I gently stroke the little girl's head cooing down at her. The baby's eyes flutter and she slowly opens them to stare up at me. A tear escapes my eyes as I look down into her chocolaty brown eyes, which by some miracle are the exact same shade as the ones I had loved for so long. Smiling and cradling my precious bundle in my arms I look up at the doctor beside me. The doctor just smiles at back at me and brings out some paperwork to fill in.

"Now Brittany, what is your precious little girl's name?" the doctor asks smiling at the pair of us on the bed.

I look down at my baby girl again and then look back at the doctor.

"This is Emily Santana Pierce," I say stroking her head gently, "and she's the best thing that's has ever happened to me."

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**A/N: Remember to review and tell me what you think and if you want more :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N****: Thanks to the lovely reviews on the first chapter I'm back with a second :D In response to the questions don't worry, they'll all be fully answered in time! This chapter is happier than the last one (not that that's difficult :P) and it really just recaps Brittany's life until the present day and explains some stuff briefly.**

**(P.S. to save confusion it's September 2017 in this chapter and it was February 2014 in the first.)**

**H x**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the rights to Glee.**

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Brittany's POV

The first few months after Emily had been born had been the most stressful time of my life. Trying to raise a newborn baby on my own was exhausting and I never really realized how much effort it took until I had to do it. Emily's smiling face kept me going though and she made every ounce of exhaustion worth it. It was hard not really having anyone else to help but I struggled on and through it all I had Emily and she was enough.

My parents weren't around to support me or help with Emily as we'd lost touch after they found out I was pregnant. We'd stopped talking because when I had told them that I was pregnant we'd gotten in a huge argument and they had wanted me to get an abortion. When I told them that I couldn't do that because I didn't want to kill my baby they said throwing my life away for a baby was ridiculous. They couldn't understand my decision so they had cut me off, financially and emotionally. It hurt at first when they'd abandoned me but after time I realized that wanting people in my life who don't want me back was stupid and accepted losing them and moved on.

My sisters had tried to help me after they found out about my pregnancy and hated my parent's decision to cut me off. I loved my sisters for this, we had always stuck together against our parents, bitching to each other about their strictness and cheering each other up when they shouted at us. They were still young when I left though and with my parents refusing to talk to them about anything related to me, it was difficult for them. My sister's meant a lot to me but when I left Lima a few days after the returning after the break-up I lost contact with them as I lost my phone so didn't have my sisters numbers and when I tried to call the house phone it went to voicemail so after a while I gave up. I wish that I hadn't lost contact with my sisters but I know that it's my own fault for not trying harder to keep I contact. I hope they know I didn't want to leave them though I was just busy with other things.

As for Emily's father, he was out of the picture so there was no help from him. What had happened between us was complicated and I had only told him I was pregnant and keeping the baby because I thought he deserved to know he was going to have a child. When I had told him though he said he didn't want anything to do with the baby and just disappeared. I don't really care though, he wasn't the nicest person and I don't want him in Emily's life.

There was no support from my friends from high school. They had all been really mad at me when they found out what I had said and done to Santana and stopped calling me after we broke up. When I had tried to reach any of them they just ignored my calls and never returned my voicemails. They had all immediately sided with Santana and avoided me, I was okay with that though, Santana needed her friends, plus I'm sure if I had tried to tell one of them about the pregnancy they would have told Santana and I didn't want her to know. I don't know if they ever forgave me or tried to contact me though because when I lost my phone I didn't have any of their numbers anymore. None of them know the real reason why I had left Santana and no one bothered to try finding out and then suddenly they couldn't contact me to ask anymore.

I spent the first three and a half years of Emily's life in Greenville Ohio struggling to try and make enough money to live off and using the little savings I had left from my parents. I tried to be the best mother possible to Emily and give her everything she needed but it was difficult when I was living in a crappy one roomed apartment with no spare money.

Everything's getting better now though and I'm finally here, in New York, with my little girl clutching to my hand as we stand in the doorway to our new apartment. It all changed when I'd been offered a scholarship to NYU for the dance program. They had even given me extra money so I could support Emily and pay for daycare, and when they'd offered I'd been unable to say no to their generosity. Without so much as a second though I had packed up my life in Greenville and flown us over to New York to start a new life. It feels weird being in this city though. It's where I've supposed to have been since four years ago and it's also where the person I had left then was probably living now.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt a sharp tug on my hand and look down to see Emily's chocolaty brown orbs staring back up at me.

"Mommy, are we gonna go in now?" She asks cutely.

"Yeah Em." I reply as I pull her through the door, shutting it behind us "This is our new home. What do you think?" I say while waving my hand around the room dramatically.

Emily looks around the apartment in awe. "It's so big. Do I get my own room?" She asks.

"Yeah baby you get your own room. We can paint it any color you want." I reply enthusiastically.

The small blonde tilts her head to the side and bites her lip in thought. "Can it be red?"

"Yeah baby, of course it can." I grin down at the small blonde before bending down and picking her up, placing her on my hip.

I start walking across the living room and spotting a door to my left I peer through and see a reasonably sized kitchen. Ahead of me, beside the door to the kitchen, there is a hall leading further into the apartment. I can see that there are two doors on the left hand side, the one closest to me is the bathroom and the one beside it is Emily's room. On the right hand side of the hall there is another door that leads to my room.

It felt weird to think about not sharing a room with Emily. In Greenville we had shared a double bed as there wasn't space for another bed in our apartment. When she was still small she'd slept beside me in her basinet but as she'd gotten bigger she had started sleeping cuddled up to me. To be honest I'm going to miss sleeping with her securely wrapped up in my arms. There was always something comforting about knowing she was there and that I could protect her. I know the extra space is necessary though, Emily is growing up and she is going to love having her own room.

Emily starts wiggling in my arms silently asking to be put down and I comply setting her down on the ground. The little girl looks up at me wordlessly asking me which room was hers and point to the room at the end of the hall and she turns and runs off towards it excitedly, while I stay behind her laughing at her enthusiasm.

I love the face that Emily and I can communicate silently. I've only ever shared that with one other person and that was Santana. Emily reminds me so much of Santana sometimes and it's not just how we interact with each other, its Emily's personality too. She has the Latina's fiery attitude and loving heart. Emily still takes after me a lot though and has the innocent view on the world I once had. Unlike me at her age though she possesses an amazing intelligence, she's her mommy's little genius. I liked to think Emily is the perfect mix of me and Santana, I know she is not related to Santana by blood and the two have never even met, but if Santana and I had been able to make a child together I'm sure we would have produced Emily. Every time Emily does something similar to Santana I always end up telling her countless stories about the brunette. I tell her about the adventures me and my best friend 'S' used to have and she always sits and listens with rapt attention. I avoid using Santana's name, mainly because it still hurts to think about her but also because I don't want Emily to make the link between her middle name and the brunette's name and ask to many painful questions about the Latina. The way Emily's face lights up at the stories makes the pain of remembering the Latina worth it every time though. It makes me sad to think Emily will never even meet the woman she reminds me so much of. She worships Santana, always trying to be like the girl from the stories and it's just plain adorable

I snap back to reality and follow after where Emily had headed toward her room. When I get there I find her sitting in the unpainted room on her bed bouncing up and down. She turns towards me as I walk in the door a grin spreads across her face when she sees me.

"Mommy look!" She squeals jumping higher. "I have my own bed!"

"Yeah baby you do. Carful you don't break it though, or you'll end up back with me." I chuckle. "You not gonna miss me though?" I say faking a pout at her.

"Of course I am silly!" She exclaims. "But I'm just next door."

I laugh as my daughter reassures me about our separation. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?

I walk over to the bouncing blonde and sit down next to her and Emily crawls into my lap and wraps her arms around my neck, snuggling in close to me. Remembering I need to talk to her about something I tap her head lightly so she looks up at me.

"Em, you know I start class on Monday right?" I start and Emily nods happily at me. "Okay well remember that means you're gonna have to go to daycare while I'm at class."

We've already discussed this as I had wanted to make sure Emily was okay with the idea of daycare before we moved. In Greenville our elderly neighbor Mrs. Hayworth had watched Emily during the day but now we're in New York she'll have to go to a daycare. I want to make sure she's still comfortable with it because she might have changed her mind about the whole idea and I don't want to make her do anything she doesn't want to. I needed to talk to her about this now though because there's an introductory day for all the new kids and their parents tomorrow and I've signed us up to go.

"Well tomorrow we're gonna go to the daycare and meet everyone before you start on Monday. Does that sound good?" I ask.

The small blonde smiles hesitantly at me and bobs her head slightly and I can tell something's bothering her. "Yeah mommy that sounds fine. I'm worried though… what if they're mean?" The little girl asks quietly.

My daughters question melts my heart and I looked down at her in complete adoration, sometimes she is just too cute for words. I'm surprised by her nervousness though, the little girl is usually so confident and for her to be worried about something means it's a big deal to her.

I smile at her lovingly before I talk. "Baby I promise they won't be mean, but if they are you can tell me and we'll find you a new daycare, okay?" I reassure her.

The little girls smile brightens a bit and she nods her head more enthusiastically. "Okay."

I decide to try and lighten the mood so I pick up the little girl and swing her over my shoulder into a fireman's lift. I make my way over to the kitchen with the little girl laughing and squirming on my shoulder.

"Mommy! What are you doing? Put me down." She giggles furiously wriggling in my grip.

"I was trying to save your little itty bitty legs the exercise by carrying you to the kitchen." I joke as I put Emily down on the floor.

"I don't have little itty bitty legs. I'm big." Emily protested as she continued to laugh, standing on her tip toes to seem taller.

"Sorry can't hear you from all the way down there, what did you say?" I joke, as I cup my hand around my ear.

"Mommy you're so silly." The little girl chuckles.

I nod vigorously in response. "Yep baby, I am." I say in mock seriousness and the little girl just laughs harder.

I love moments like this with Emily, when we can just laugh and goof around together. I hate that I have to be away from her so much but it makes every second we have together precious and I appreciate them so much more.

"So what do you want for dinner?" I ask, planning to spoil Emily for being so good today.

The little girl's giggles subside and she thinks for a minute. "Can we go for burgers please?"

"Sure Em, why don't you grab your jacket and we'll head out." I reply.

I'm excited to explore the streets of New York and we walk around until we find a cute diner a few blocks from the apartment and get burgers and milkshakes for dinner. We sit and eat happily, watching the busy streets of New York through the window. When we finish we head home and settle in for our Thursday ritual of watching a Disney DVD while cuddled up on the couch together. Like usual we sing along to our favorite parts and Emily laughs as I imitate the baddy from the film and chase her around the room trying to catch her. When it's time for bed Emily has lost all enthusiasm she had earlier about having her own room. She sits pouting at me as I try and tuck her into bed and in the end she wins and sleeps in my bed. I'm silently grateful for this though, really I need her just as much as she needs me.

* * *

I'm woken up by an obnoxious ringing from my alarm and quickly reach over to hit it off so it doesn't wake Emily, who's still lying curled up fast asleep beside me. I quietly get up and head to the kitchen to prepare a nice breakfast for Emily for her first unofficial day of daycare.

Breakfast is one of the few things I can actually cook. I never really learned properly as I was too busy after Emily was born. I survive with what I can cook though and I'll be forever grateful for my daughter's love of Italian food as she never seems to bore of my simple pasta dishes, one of the other few things I can cook.

I hear shuffling behind me and turn and find my daughter standing in the doorway in her duck onesie rubbing the sleep out of her barley open eyes. Grinning at her adorableness I walk over to her and pick her up hugging her tightly as she lays her head down on my shoulder still not quite awake enough to do much else.

"Hey baby girl, how are you today?" I ask as I smooth down her cute bed hair sticking out in all directions.

The small blonde just mumbles in response and I nod pretending to understand what she is saying. Emily is so cute in the mornings, it takes her ages to wake up properly and until she does she just walks around like a zombie mumbling at everyone.

"Okay sleepy head." I laugh. "You want some breakfast? I made your favorite, chocolate chip pancakes." I say trying to wake the little girl up with the promise of food.

Emily seems to perk up at the mention of pancakes and lifts her head of my shoulder and wiggles in my arms. When I put her down she goes and sits down at the table waiting for her breakfast. After setting her food in front of her I sit down and we eat breakfast together leisurely while Emily rambles on about random topics.

When it's time for us to leave for daycare I find Emily standing by the door dressed in a light blue summer dress that she had picked out and when I'm ready we head out the door and start walking towards the daycare.

I had tried to find a daycare nearby so Emily wouldn't have to deal with the subway every day but it was still ten blocks walk and I'm sure in the winter the cold would cause us to retreat to the subway. I also wanted one close by so that if anything happened to her at daycare I'd be able to get to her quickly.

As we turn a corner I spot the daycare at the end of the street. When we get near I look at the building and see a colorful sign above the door saying "Kinston daycare". It's a big modern building but there's a small garden in front of it with some flower beds and benches which manage to make it look welcoming despite its modern concrete and glass appearance.

Holding onto Emily's hand tighter we walk towards the front door and push it open. Walking in were met by a small reception area with comfy looking chairs lining the walls. We head to the reception desk and I look around trying to see anyone to talk to. When I look down at my watch I realize we were ten minutes late, the walk had taken longer than I'd thought it would as we kept getting distracted by the amazing New York sights. Spotting a small bell on the table I look down at Emily flicking my eyes to the bell silently asking if she wants to press it. The small blonde nods excitedly and hits the bell causing a ring to sound out in the empty room. We stand there waiting for something to happen and then I suddenly hear a familiar voice speaking behind me.

"Brittany?"

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**A/N****: I know, doing cliffhangers already :P I'm going to try and update at least once a week though so there should be another chapter up soon. Thanks for reading and please leave a review to let me know what you think though**** bear in mind that this is my first story so will start off a but rough but any constructive comments you have are greatly appreciated :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm back with another chapter! Thanks to all the people who took the time to read, follow, favorite and review my story it means a lot to me to know you are reading and makes me want to write more :) Sorry for any mistakes and I hope you enjoy.**

**H x**

Brittany's POV

"Brittany?"

My body stiffens as I recognize the voice behind me and my mind goes into overdrive. Why is she here? I haven't spoken to her in four years, what were the chances of her being at my daughter's daycare on my second day back in New York? What am I going to say to her? I internally freak out as I try and work out what to do or say.

"Brittany Pierce." The person repeats behind me.

I desperately try to regain my composure as I turn to face the woman from my past. As I turn I desperately hope that I might be mistaken as to the person's identity but when I finally meet her eyes dark brown orbs I know my wishes have not been answered. Her eyes lock onto mine and she stares at me in confusion. Slowly breathing out I try and prepare myself to talk to her when suddenly something interrupts me.

"How do you know my mommy's name?" Emily questions curiously.

The brunette's eyes bulge dramatically at Emily's words and it would almost be comical if it weren't for my current situation.

"Mommy?" The brunette whispers, eyes flitting between me and Emily and then staring at me in shock. "You have a daughter?"

My mouth opens and suddenly my mind jumps back into action.

"Yeah I do. Emily baby, this is Tina I used to go to high school with her. Tina this is my daughter Emily." I say with a faux smile

"Oh cool! You knew my mommy when she was little?" Emily asks excitedly.

"Yeah we used to be good friends." Tina says smiling tentatively at the smaller blonde. "It's nice to meet you Emily."

She looks at me her face showing obviously faked enthusiasm but it is mixed with utter confusion and resentment. It was obvious what I had done to Santana was still fresh in Tina's mind. I know Tina and Santana weren't close in high school but what I had said to Santana had shocked everybody as they all new how hard coming out was for her. Then for me to leave her for a guy, it's was like I threw all her hard work back in her face so I'm not surprised by her anger.

"Can I ask what you're here?" Tina questioned suspiciously.

"Yeah, Emily is signed up for daycare here. Do you know who I can talk to about registering?" I ask, trying to end the awkward interaction between us.

The brunette suddenly moves around to behind the desk. "Me." Tina replies. "Can I ask your daughters full name, date of birth and guardians' names please." She questions.

She's looking at me interestedly, obviously trying to be professional despite her burning curiosity and I can't help but silently wish I'd picked a different daycare. I'm about to reply but before I can speak Emily jumps in.

"Emily Santana Pierce. February 14th 2014." Emily states proudly. I can see a flash of emotion cross Tina's eyes when she hears Emily's full name and date of birth but she covers it quickly. "Mommy's name is Brittany Susan Pierce." Emily's face suddenly scrunches up. "Wait, you already know that." She questions in confusion.

Tina looks at Emily with what seems like a genuine smile which only confuses me more.

"Yeah of course I know your mommy's name," Tina chuckles "but I need your daddy's name."

I flinch at this question not knowing what to say in response. Thing's between me and Emily's father were complicated and no one knows the truth about the little girls conception except me and him. Emily doesn't even know her father exists and she's never really asked about it never finding it strange she only has a mother. Luckily my daughter saves me once again.

"I don't have a daddy, just a mommy." Emily states.

Deciding it was time for me to rejoin the conversation I begin to speak trying to catch Tina's attention.

"No father in the picture, just me and Em" I say and follow it with a faked a smile.

Tina seems curious for a second but then accepts this answer and scribbles something down on a bit of paper before looking back up at us.

"That's fine. Well Emily if you and your mommy go through that door, you'll find everyone else okay?" Tina says pointing to a door on the right side of the room.

Emily nods happily and we both start to walk towards the door. I'm abruptly stopped by a tug on my arm and turn to see Tina holding out a piece of paper with number on it.

"We need to talk. Call me." She says bluntly.

I'm shocked by her directness but I take the paper politely knowing I'll have to talk to Tina sooner or later now my daughter is at the daycare she works at. I turn away from her and follow Emily into the next room which we find full of kids and parents chatting and laughing. The smaller blonde quickly runs off in search of some friends to play with and I'm left standing there alone. Watching the other parents in the room interact I notice that I'm definitely the youngest one here, not many people have kids when they've just turned twenty though. The crowd was a nice mixture of people and everyone seemed friendly but I don't really know who to talk to. I'm usually great in social situations and can chat to people easily but all the people here are a lot older and I don't know what I'd talk to them about.

I make my way to the refreshment table and grab a cup of coffee before looking around once again trying to spot someone I can talk to. Since we were late most of the other parents are already in groups talking to one another so I decide to just go sit on the seats at the side of the room and sip my coffee not wanting to butt in on other peoples conversations. As I sit down I catch Tina staring at me but when I turn to face her she immediately looks away. I catch her staring a few more times but every single time I turn to her she looks away quickly pretending to be engrossed in a conversation with one of the parents.

When the hour is over Emily comes running over to me and immediately starts telling me about all the fun she's had. I feel a pang of jealousy at the fact she's having so much fun without me but I soon get over it realizing my baby is growing up and I'm glad she's making friends. Emily continues to talk and I just listen attentively. When she's finally done I pick her up and head for the door, on my way out I hear a voice shout behind me.

"Don't forget to call." Tina shouts.

I simply turn and nod at Tina before continuing to walk out the door to start the walk home.

When we get home Emily runs off to her room while I head to the kitchen to start lunch. I'm standing making PB&J's when I hear my daughter's voice behind me.

"Mommy, does Tina know S?" Emily asks hopefully.

Turning and smiling at my daughter I motion for her to sit down at the table. Emily does as she's told and I put the sandwich in front of her before sitting down too and responding to her question.

"She did baby, but I don't know if she still does." I say and the little girl nods her head in understanding.

There was silence for a minute and then Emily spoke again.

"Mommy, why did you and Tina stop being friends?" She asks innocently.

I'm initially stumped by this question. Emily has never met any of my high school friends before, not that they were around for her to really meet so she's never asked me about my history before. The awkward story of my past had never been an issue between us and I'd never told her the situation surrounding the loss of the important people in my life. I can't lie to my daughter though so I look down at her bracing myself for the truth, at least the kid friendly version of the truth.

"Well, remember S?"I start unsurely and Emily nods enthusiastically at the mention of S. "Well I hurt her feelings and that made everybody mad. I never apologized to S so they're all a bit angry at me and don't want to be friends with me anymore."

Emily nods unsurely obviously trying to understand. "But you would never be mean mommy." Emily said innocently and I smile at her in adoration.

"I was mean back then and I'm not proud of that. I would change some things if I could because I made a bad decision but I can't do that." Emily looks at me confusion still visible on her face. "It's like this; if anyone hurt my feeling you'd be mad right and you wouldn't want to talk to them right?" She nods. "Well that's why when I hurt S they all got mad at me. I didn't try hard enough to explain or apologize so they stopped talking to me, okay?" Emily still seems confused but nods her head more surely than before.

"But didn't them not talking to you make you sad mommy?" Emily asks.

"Yeah baby, but I deserved it." I say regretfully.

"No one should be sad. If they made you sad that makes me mad at them." Emily states crossing her arms in anger.

"No baby, you shouldn't be mad at them okay. I'm not sad anymore" I say reaching to uncross Emily's arms.

The last part of that was a lie I am sad sometimes but I don't want my daughter to worry or go 'all Lima Heights on their assess' for making me sad. I really shouldn't have taught her that phrase but she was so cute when she says it, like a mini Santana.

I try to give at Emily a reassuring smile but she still looks at me apprehensively.

"Hey, how about we go pick up some paint and do our bedrooms up?" I ask trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, I guess." Emily sighs. "Promise you're not sad?" She asks holding out her pinky waiting for my response.

Wrapping my pinky around my daughters I talk to her gently. "Not when I'm with you." I say avoiding telling a complete lie.

Our evening's spent picking up paint and decorating Emily's room, we did hers first so she could sleep in my room while it dried since she was probably going to be there anyway. We smile as we goof around getting paint all over each other and by the end it seems like there's more paint on us than on the walls. After a bath and dinner I tuck Emily into bed and head back to the living room collapsing on the couch. Pulling out my phone and the piece of paper I prepare myself for the upcoming confrontation. I dial the number and pressed call and after two rings I hear a voice at the other end, muffled by music in the background.

"Hello?" The voice answers.

"It's Brittany; you said you wanted to talk, so let's talk."

Narrator's POV

There was a vibrating noise in Tina's pocket and she reaches down and pulls it out, pressing the answer button and brining the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?" She asks.

"It's Brittany; you said you wanted to talk, so let's talk." Brittany answers from the other end of the phone.

Tina eyes widen when she hears the voice at the other end of the phone and she looks around the busy club looking for a quiet place to talk. She tries to spot her friends but they're lost in the endless mass of bodies. Remembering the phone in her hand she brings it back to her ear.

"Hi Brittany. Give me a minute to get somewhere quiet?" The brunette asks.

"Sure." Brittany replies.

The brunette pushes her way through the crowds of people and out the door until she's met by the cool summer's night outside. She turns on the pavement and walks a couple of meters away from the club doors before bringing the phone back up to her ear.

"Britt, it's really good that you called. What I want to talk about isn't really a conversation that I want to have over the phone though. Can we meet up for coffee and chat? Tomorrow maybe?" Tina asks hopefully.

"I can't really do that. I need to look after Emily." The blonde replies immediately.

"You can bring her along?" Tina suggests.

There was a pause in the conversation before Brittany speaks again. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Brittany please, we need to talk." Tina pleads.

"I don't need anything other than Emily." The blonde replies firmly. "I don't _**need**_ to talk to you. You just want to be nosey and find out what happened back then. Why do you _**need**_ to know?" Tina recoils slightly at the harsh words.

"Just one meeting, then I'll never speak to you again outside of work if that's what you want." Tina begs. "Please Brittany."

There was a long pause until Brittany's sighs in defeat and her voice sounds through the phone. "Meet at the benches in Minetta Playground at 1, bring your own coffee."

The brunette was about to reply when the line then goes dead and all she can do is stare at her phone. She breaks out of her thoughts and quickly types the meeting place and time into her phone then turns around and heads back to the club. Once inside she's again met by a sea of bodies and slowly pushes her way to the bar looking around searching for any of her friends. She suddenly spots a familiar blonde headed towards her.

"Tina! There you are. We thought you'd left us." the blonde half shouts half whimpers as she pulls the smaller girls into a drunken embrace.

"Don't worry Q I'd never leave you." Tina smiles wrapping her arms loosely around the blonde girl and bopping her on the nose. The brunette wipes some drunken tears from the blondes face and continues to talk. "Maybe it's time you started drinking water, hey?" Tina says as she looks at her watch and realizes it's only 10.

Another brunette walks up to the pair and gives Tina a smirk. "Oh boo you T. Let Q get her drank on. We only get to do this once a night on girls night and she's usually the entertainment." The taller brunette jokes.

"Tina, Sanny's being mean!" Quinn whimpers burying herself deeper into the shorter brunette's embrace.

Tina turns to look at the taller brunette who had approached. She's standing beside Quinn wearing her signature smirk.

"S please don't bully Q while she's drunk, you know she'll either start crying or try to beat you up." The smaller brunette says exasperatedly.

"Sorry T." Santana says with a shrug before turning to the blonde. "Quinne Pooh knows I love her really, don't you." Santana coos while she strokes the blondes arm.

"Yeah Sanny and me are the bestest friends!" The blonde squeals exitedly becoming livelier.

"Yeah and as your bestest friend Q I say we should get some more alcohol in you!" Santana cheers happily.

Tina rolls her eyes but lets the Latina drag Quinn away to get more drinks. The smaller brunette heads over to a table and a couple of minutes later Santana and Quinn appear with three glasses.

"Here T, I got you a coke cause you bein all grumpy and shit." Santana says as she holds out a glass to the smaller brunette.

"S, I was not being 'all grumpy and shit' I just really don't want to have to haul your drunken asses' home." Tina says. "But I guess the coke is a good idea anyway, one of us needs to be sober." She jokes.

"Well that one of us ain't gonna be me." The Latina replies as she downs her drink.

"Clearly." Tina says motioning to Santana's empty glass. "It never is anyway." The smaller brunette jokes.

"Just cause I know how to party lima heights style." The Latina sings.

The blonde at the table suddenly stands up and grabs the arm of the taller brunette beside her.

"Sanny come dance with me." The blonde pouts.

"Sure short stuff. Let's get our grinding on." The Latina hollers as she stands up to follow Quinn.

The taller brunette and the blonde headed off to the dance floor while Tina is left at the table watching the two of them as they start dancing. The smaller brunette sits on her own at the table lost in thought until half an hour later, when the blonde comes back over to the table without the Latina and sits down on a stool. Tina looks at her in confusion.

"Hey Q, where's S" Tina asks.

"She stopped dancing with me and started grinding on some random girl so I came back here. I just saw them take off towards the bathroom." Quinn replies surprisingly coherent considering she's swaying drunkenly from side to side.

"Okay Q I'm gonna go get her. Stay here." Tina says and Quinn nods in reply.

Tina heads towards the bathroom and pushing through the crowds of people and when she finally gets inside she finds Santana pressing some blonde girl up against the wall of one of the stalls. She walks up to them and grabs Santana's arm, dragging her out of the bathroom behind her. She walks them back onto the dance floor but before they get to the table the Latina pulls away angrily.

"What the fuck Tina!" The Latina shouts crossly.

"S, you're drunk you know you don't really want to sleep with her." Tina replies calmly.

"I really did want to though Tina. Then you showed up and fucked it up!" She shouts her voice getting louder.

"Santana, I thought you'd gotten better since Q got here. I had stopped having to pull you away from random girls every time we're out in case you did sleep with them and inevitably ended up crying saying you'd 'cheated on her'. But here you are again, humping some stranger." Tina states disappointedly.

Santana just stares at her and then looks at her with masked guilt in her eyes.

"I just ran out of people to sleep with that's all. I'm still the same old slut I was a year ago." Santana says venomously then turns and walks over to the bar leaving Tina alone.

The shorter brunette sighs and heads over to the table. Just after she gets there Santana arrives with a tray of tequila shots.

Tina looks at her sadly. "Hey S, I'm sorry, you're not a slut." Tina says apologetically. "I don't think you should drink those though." The smaller brunette says as she points at the shots.

Santana nods at her apology but turns her attention back to the shots in front of her ignoring the smaller brunettes warning. After the Latinas fifth consecutive shot she turns to face the smaller brunette a questioning look in her eyes.

"Where'd you go earlier?" Santana asks looking at Tina with concern.

"Sorry my mom called and you know what she's like. I went outside to talk to her." Tina replies casually.

"Sure. Are you okay though cause you've been weird all evening." Santana asks worriedly. "You've been really quiet."

Tina looks over to her friend and smiles at her slightly. "I'm fine honey nothing's wrong. I'm just tired" Tina reassures her friend pulling her in for a hug.

Santana relaxes into the hug. "K'." The Latina whimpers into her friends shoulder. "It's those stupid brats you work with. I don't know why you work with kids, they're all little bitches."

"There actually nice kids, I just had a busy day that's all. Today was the induction day." Tina explains as she strokes her friend's hair.

Santana nods and holds onto Tina tighter.

"Hey, how about we take you home and have an early night?" The smaller brunette asks her friend curled up into her side.

"K', m' tir'd now too." The taller brunette mumbles.

With that Tina stands up and pulls her half asleep friends up besides her dragging them towards the club doors to take them home for the night.

When she finally gets them home they collapse onto the couches and fall asleep immediately Tina heading to her room and falling asleep soon after.

**A/N: Please review and leave any comments or suggestions, anything's appreciated. Thanks :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm back again! Thanks again for all the follows, favorites and reviews, they are all wonderful and I really appreciate them :) So I am having a feels day today due to the Brittana awesomeness in this weeks episode :D Sorry if this chapter isn't great, my course work is killing me at the moment and I didn't have much time to write cause I'm home for the weekend and this is the only time I'll have to post it :S Any mistakes are mine and I hope you enjoy :)**

**H x**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to glee.**

* * *

Brittany's POV

I wake up to find a grinning blonde face hanging above my head wearing the cutest smile I've ever seen. When the blonde notices I've woken up she sticks her tongue out at me playfully. Chuckling at her goofiness I sit up and grab the little girl by the waist, dragging her into my lap and beginning to tickle her as she screeches and giggles in response.

"Mommy stop it, I'm gonna pee on you" The small blonde giggles

I stop my attack instantly. "That's not very nice baby. I don't want to be peed on." I say while scrunching my face in mock disgust.

The little girl continues to giggle at our silliness and puts her arms around my neck pulling me into a hug, holding me close.

"Don't worry mommy I only said that to get you to stop. I wouldn't really pee on you." The smaller blonde grins up at me.

"You're such a little trouble maker." I tease.

Looking at the clock beside me I realize its 11am and sigh. The small blonde in my lap starts to shuffle about and I start to play with her hair.

"So Em I thought we could go to the playground today, what do you think?" I ask.

"Yeah, let's go!" The smaller blonde nods enthusiastically.

"Okay so why don't we go have breakfast than we can leave for the park at 12.30, okay?" I ask.

"Okay mommy." The little girl says as she scrambles of my lap and heads for the kitchen.

I stand up and follow her through to the kitchen and start getting breakfast ready for the two of us.

* * *

Once we'd eaten breakfast and cleaned up we head for the park and get there at 12.50. As soon as we get there Emily runs off towards the play area and I take a seat nearby so I could keep an eye on her from a safe distance. I'm absentmindedly watching Emily on the swings when I feel someone sit down next to me.

"Hello Brittany." Tina greets far too cheerily, I'm seriously getting confused by this girls mixed signals, at the daycare she looked like she hated me but now she was being super friendly.

"Tina." I say as a greeting.

We sat there in silence for a while, neither one sure how to start the conversation we were going to have. After five minutes I finally get bored of the silence and decide to speak.

"What do you want to know and why do you think you have any right to ask?" I say bluntly.

Tina looks at me for a second and then takes a big breathe, I can tell she's preparing herself for what she is about to say so I wait patiently.

"Santana is one of my best friends now, and when you left her she was heartbroken." I look down at my lap as Tina continues to talk. "She cried for months. I don't think she ever fully recovered from what you did to her. I can tell you must have had some stuff going on," Tina says, subtlety looking over at Emily "but that doesn't explain what you did and why. You broke her heart when you told her she wasn't as good as a guy could be. You realize you left her permanently scarred? I just want to know why you had to hurt her so bad?"

I look up at Tina and get ready to talk.

"Before I say anything I want to know, did you tell Santana about me being here?" Tina shakes her head. "Okay then. If you want me to tell you everything you have to promise not to tell her what I say or that I'm here." I demand

At first Tina looks at me in shock for a minute but then quickly recovers and nods her head in agreement.

"Okay." I begin "It all started about a month before Santana and I got back together. I met this guy at a party and he looked like the male version of Santana. I missed her so much at the time that I started flirting with him just to try and fill the void she had left when she had broken up with me. We kept on flirting and he kept giving me drinks and before I knew what was going on I was really drunk and making out with him. I stopped once I realized what I was doing, but I was too drunk to do much more and soon I blacked out. When I woke up I was basically naked and alone in some stranger's bed, so I just got dressed and left the house hoping to forget about it all. I still don't remember what exactly happened but I'm assuming I had sex with the guy and then he left." I say sadly.

The events of that night are still a huge blur to me but I don't really think about Emily's father anymore, I'm glad I have Emily but I never want to relive that night again.

"About a month later Santana came back to Lima and we got back together and moved to New York. Things were perfect for four whole weeks and then I started feeling ill. I went to the doctors to see what was wrong and he did some blood tests on me and told me he'd call with the results soon. The day I broke up with Santana she was out when I got a call from a bar Santana had applied to sing part time at, they said she got the job and I knew it wasn't much but it was a start. I got so excited I could just tell she was gonna be a star and this was her chance to do what she loved."

I smile at the memory. Santana has always been destined for greatness and that job just proved it. My smile fades when I remember the next part of the story though.

"About five minutes later I got another call, this time it was from the doctors, they told me that my blood-work had come back and it showed that I was pregnant. I freaked out and I didn't know what to do so I called my parents. When I told them what happened they told me to get rid of the baby. I spent an hour on the phone arguing with them and when I said I couldn't kill my baby they said they had no other choice but to cut me off." Tina gasps but I just continue the story ignoring her. "I thought about what telling Santana about the pregnancy would do to her, she would hate me for sleeping with someone else but she would never leave me. She would stay and help me with the baby, get some crappy full time job to support us and give up her dreams. That's when I decided that a broken heart would be easier for her to get over than me dragging her down and losing her shot at her dreams. So I broke her heart. I know now it probably wasn't the best choice but I panicked and when it was all over I couldn't bring myself to face her, not after what I had said."

I take a deep breath finishing my story. I opened some of my most painful wounds just in the hope that Tina won't tell Santana about me being here if she understood everything. I try to keep a strong front so that I can get through the rest of this meeting without bursting into tears.

Tina looks into my eyes and slowly starts to speak. "You know she would have stayed. She would have still loved you and she would have loved Emily, if you had just given her the chance." she says honestly.

"I know she would have," I say "but I couldn't drag her down with me."

"You wouldn't have been dragging her down with you. You would have just been changing her plans." Tina reasons.

"It doesn't really matter whether she would have stayed or not or what would have happened now. The past is the past." I say forlornly.

I look away from Tina sadly and spot Emily heading towards us. When the little girl gets closer to us she recognizes Tina and runs over to me and jumps into my lap wrapping her arms protectively around my neck.

"You better not be making my mommy sad." Emily warns "Cause if you are I'll go all Lima Heights on your ass."

I suppress a chuckle and wrap my arms around the smaller girls' waist and nuzzle my nose into her neck. Tina looks at me in shock at Emily's words but then a smile breaks out across her face.

"She's just like S." Tina coos. "She's even got her eyes." Tina says gazing at the little girl with adoration in her eyes.

I stiffen at the mention of Santana and am about to try change the subject when Emily interrupts.

"You know S." The small blonde shrieks excitedly. "Mommy talks about her all the time."

Internally cursing my daughter's big mouth I try to give Tina a look saying to change the subject or she'll regret it. Tina catches my eye and seems to get the message and tries to react.

"Eh, I don't know if we mean the same S, sorry." Tina falters.

Emily looks at her puzzled. "Of course you do. Mommy used to be friends with S. Now you're talking about S. You must mean the same S. I'm not stupid."

Tina looks flustered glances over at me for help but I just shrug my shoulders to show Emily has a point. Luckily for Tina there's a sudden interruption to our conversation as her phone goes off in her pocket. Tina takes it out and looks at the screen, furrowing her brow she answers the call.

"Hey what's up?" I can only hear what Tina's saying but she chuckles a bit at the caller before replying. "I'm out but I'll be home soon, just try to rest, okay? And you're not dying."

Tina hangs up the phone and looks over at me and Emily. "I have to go now but it was good to catch up with you Britt. It was nice to see you again Emily." Tina holds out her hand for Emily to shake and the little girls takes it confidently. "Alright, see you soon hopefully. I've got your number now so I'll call you."

I nod and Tina stands up and walks away and Emily turns around and looks up at me.

"Can we go home now?" Emily asks sensing my strange mood.

I just smile and nod at her taking her hand and starting the walk home.

Santana's POV

When I wake up I'm immediately hit by a headache that feels like someone's set a bomb off in my brain. Groaning I turn onto my stomach and feel a twinge in my back from the uncomfortable night's sleep on the couch. Why the hell did I do that? I open my eyes and wince as the bright light scorches through them and quickly close them and bury my face into the cushions below me. I slowly open my eyes again and look around, trying to get my bearing. After working out that I'm on the couch in the living room I start blindly fumbling around for my phone. I feel something under my stomach and reach below me and find my phone. After pressing number 2 on speed dial I put the phone to my ear and it rings twice before I hear a click and an obnoxiously loud voice comes ringing through the speaker hitting my ears painfully.

"Hey what's up?" I recoil at the noise and hold the phone away from my ear, trying to dull the loud voice on the other end.

"God rice queen, no need to shout." I moan. "Where are you, I need your help. I think I'm dying!" I whine dramatically into the phone.

"I'm out but I'll be home soon, just try to rest, okay? And you're not dying." Tina replies.

I'm about to ask where she is, but before I can the line goes dead. Holding my phone up and staring at it for a second in confusion I wonder whey Tina hung up, I just sigh too exhausted to think and drop the phone onto the floor beside me. It lands on the wooden floor with a crash and a stifled moan comes from across the room.

"God Lezpez why are you so loud." Quinn whines.

"Shut it Fabgay." I retort.

I'm not in the mood for a 'Quinn hangover'. When she's like this her mood swings are ridiculous and she can go from happy to the biggest bitch in a second flat and I can't be bothered dealing with that minefield.

"Where's T, I need water and Advil." Quinn moans.

"She's out, she'll back soon. Plus she's not your slave you can't just demand for her to do stuff." I points out throwing my arm across my eyes.

"S, I just heard you call her so don't pretend you use her any less." Quinn point out and at this I just huff indignantly and turn to face the back of the couch.

"Shut up Quitch." I mumble hoping she won't hear.

"That's not even a good one Satan" Quinn scoffs.

We sit there in silence for what seems like hours until I finally hear the front door open and shut, both of us groan at the noise and I press some cushions to my ears to try and muffle the world around me. Tina walks into the room carrying two paper bags and looks down at us obviously inspecting the messes in front of her.

"God Tina, did you have to shut the door so loudly?" Quinn complains. "Anyway, now you're here we need water and Advil stat." Quinn says dramatically throwing her hand into the air.

Tina just looks at her incredulously before she speaks. "You realize I am not your mother, right?"

I look up at her with a smug smile. "No your better my mother, she would never help me when I have a hangover." At this Tina just rolls her eyes at me.

"Fine, here are your hangover cures." Tina moves over to Quinn and puts one of the bags down beside her. "For Q: water, Advil and a bacon roll with extra bacon." Quinn claps her hands enthusiastically over her head and then reaches for the bag. Tina then moves over to me and holds out the other bag for me to take. "For S: Gatorade, Advil and breadsticks." I take the bag from Tina and smiles gratefully at her. "You guy's better love me." Tina jokes.

"Oh we do T." I say appreciatively as I swallow some Advil and start eating the breadsticks. Suddenly a thought crosses my mind and I turn to Tina. "Hey T, where were you this morning?" I ask.

Tina looks at me and I swear I can see guilt in her eyes, but she regains her composure and it quickly vanishes. "For you information I went out at 12 and it is 2 now so the morning is long gone." The small brunette chuckles me and I just stick my tongue out in response, sure it's not mature but I'm not feeling particularly mature today. Tina just sticks her tongue out in response then continues to talk. "I was out getting coffee with some college friends."

Nodding I go back to munching on my breadsticks in too much pain to question her further.

* * *

The rest of the day passes uneventfully and by the time evening comes I've recovered from my hangover and am ready to hit the town again. Currently we're all sitting in the living room curled up on the couch while I try to convince Tina to come out clubbing but she us refusing all of my pleas saying she doesn't want to go out, I've been trying for half an hour and I refuse to give up.

"Santana I already had to take care of your drunken ass once this weekend. I am not going to do it again. And if I don't go you probably won't cause there'll be no one to carry you home." Tina exclaims.

"Come on T you've got to come with us, I promise not to get drunk." Tina just shakes her head. I look at her pleadingly and then decide to try another approach. "You can't leave me alone with Q all night. She might get some more 'big plans' and I won't be able to stop her without you." I joke nudging Quinn in the ribs. From the look on Quinn's face when I catch her eye she didn't find it funny, she just stares at me with a pissed off expression.

Quinn rolls her eyes and sits up scowling in my direction. "Oh very funny Satan, bringing up high school are we." Quinn says maliciously, she's obviously not over her hangover and that means its bitchy Quinn time. Flinching at the mention of high school I silently pray Quinn, even in her worst mood, wouldn't go where I think this conversation is headed. "You are so much worse than me. T needs to come in case you see another blonde haired, blue eyed beauty that reminds you of 'you know who' and then spend the whole night either making out with her or crying over 'her who must not be named'." As soon as the words come out of her mouth Quinn whips her hand over it in regret and Tina's eyes widen in shock. My face falls all the color draining from it.

I stare at Quinn for a minute before standing up off the couch and starting to walk away. Before I exit the room I turn back to the two on the couch.

"Your right T, I probably shouldn't go out. I'm actually kind of tired. I'll see you tomorrow." I say with a faux smile, trying to look too affected by Quinn's words. I leave the room and from the hall I hear Tina Shouting at Quinn.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray, why would you bring up Brittany?" Tina shouts incredulously.

"Sorry my head hurts and she was being mean! I know I shouldn't have done it. Oh my god what do I do, she's probably crying right now. Shit why do I have such a big mouth. That stupid blonde bitch shouldn't still have this hold over her!" Quinn replies obviously regretting her words.

Turning away from my friends, deciding I don't want to listen anymore, I head to my room quietly shutting the door behind me. I slumped onto my bed and allow my thoughts to take over. Is that what my friends think of me? That I'll run off crying at the slightest mention of 'her' name. It was true, but I still feel ashamed that they thought of me that way. What had happened to me, I used to be a bad ass. I'm Santana Marie Lopez, the toughest bitch from Lima Heights Adjacent. At least I was until a blue eyed girl came and shattered my heart into a million pieces. Even the thought of Brittany sent my heart into a tail spin of pain and self-pity. It had been four years and I had heard nothing from her, I had tried to call her house once two years ago in a drunken haze, but the family had changed their number. Worried that something had happened to them I had driven past the home next time I was in Lima and watched from a distance. The Pierce family still lived there but there was no sign of Brittany. I had felt even more pitiful after that, I had gone to check if the woman who broke my heart was okay, how pathetic! This girl had broken my heart into a million pieces but I still loved her with every part of her being. I had tried sleeping with other people to get over her but nothing had ever filled the void that Brittany had left and it always felt like I was cheating on her. What made it all worse was that Brittany was probably happy somewhere with some guy looking after her and loving her. This thought caused tears to start running down my face and slowly my body began to shake with sobs.

I sat crying alone for ten minutes until I hear a knock at the door. It's gently pushed open and Quinn and Tina stand in the doorway. As soon as they see me they run over and embrace me between them. Tina starts gently stroking my hair while Quinn murmurs gentle apologies into my ear. My sobs slowly subside and I begin to drift of being held by my closest friends in the world and gradually I fall into a deep sleep with tears still running down my face.

* * *

**A/N: So I hinted at a possible rape plot for how Brittany got pregnant but if people don't like that idea I'm going to take that part of the story in another direction. I still have a lot of Britt's past to go into so don't worry if you didn't think her and Tina talked enough there will be more. Please review or PM me any comments or suggestions, they're all appreciated :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay so the response to the last chapter was amazing! I'm really glad you all like the story. I'm also glad that you all seemed to be okay with the idea of the rape plot, there will only be mentions of it and how the character responded to it long term. So I decided to do the whole review feedback thing cause what you said was all so nice and helpful I want you to know what I think :D**

**Leggofmyeggo****: Firstly thanks for your second review! It's nice to see people are sticking with it :D I agree that Britt has a friendly personality and I was trying to show that she was unsure about Tina because of her link to Santana that's why she was being a bit standoffish. I will introduce friends for her at NYU as I think it's important to write about their whole lives the only reason I haven't included that yet is she's not started classes yet. I totally agree with you on the whole Britt and Santana needing things outside of their relationship and I'm hopefully going to try and develop there other friendships and careers in this story as well as introducing some new characters but Brittana is still the main plot so there will be a lot about there relationship.**

**Sunryzekid****:**** Thanks for the review :D I'm excited to see whether you like the future Quinn and Britt interaction, I think they are a really fun pair to write about together.**

**akwardchild: ****Thanks for your second review! I'm glad you like the chapter :D I hope you like the rest of it as much!**

**MandyJai13: ****THANK YOU! If you're going to say you love my story feel free to caps lock whenever you want :P**

**Guest: ****Thank you so much for your review! I hope you like where the story goes next :)**

**(P.S. for guests if you can for future reviews put some kind of name I can refer to you with in replies so I don't get people mixed up :D)**

**So back to the story. Any mistakes are mine and I hope you enjoy :)**

**H x**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Glee.**

* * *

Brittany's POV

The rest of the weekend passed quickly and suddenly I found myself walking Emily to day-care for her first official day. As we walk in the door swings shut behind me I spot Tina at her desk, chatting to an older woman beside her. She briefly glances in our direction and spots us and I smile at her. She looks at us and responds with a sad smile and turns back towards the woman beside her continuing their conversation. It kinda weird that she seemed sad to see me, I thought we'd made progress after I'd explained everything at the park. I walk up to the desk unsurely and sign Emily in for the day.

"Hi Tina." I greet, drawing her attention towards me.

"Hi Britt." She responds with a look I can't place, she turns to Emily and smiles happily down at her. "Hey Emily. You exited for your first day?" The small brunette asks.

Emily grins back at her and nods her head enthusiastically. "Yeah I can't wait!" She exclaims.

"You not gonna miss your mommy?" Tina asks playfully.

"Of course, but mommy had to work all the time when we were in Greenville so I'm used to it." The smaller blonde answers.

A pang of guilt courses through me when Emily says this and I look down at my daughter with sad eyes. Emily hadn't meant to make me feel guilty, she was just telling the truth. I had worked a lot in Greenville, we had needed the money. I always tried to spend as much time with my little girl as possible but it never felt like it was enough. At least here when I leave her Emily will be with other kids rather than stuck with an elderly woman with hard hearing. If I could I would spend all my time with Emily but that isn't possible so I have to settle for as much time as possible.

Emily looks up at me and sees the sadness in my eyes and immediately tries to make me feel better sensing the effect her words had on me.

"I get it though, mommy had to work. We still hang out all the time. She's an awesome mommy." She says quickly and I gaze at my daughter amazed by her compassion and brilliance.

I bend down and pick Emily up, cuddling her tightly into my arms.

"Well I'm gonna miss you baby girl." I say. "But I know you're going to have _**so**_ much fun today."

"I'll miss you too mommy." The little girl replies hugging my neck tightly.

Tina smiles at us warmly and then I hear a woman shout from another room calling all the children in. I put Emily down and kiss her on the forehead and the little girl smiles and kisses my cheek before running off with the rest of the kids. I turn my focus back at Tina and she looks like she wants to say something but isn't sure how to do it. She waits until we are alone in the room and nods her head slightly to herself reassuringly before turning to me and speaking.

"Britt I want to be friends with you I really do... It's just, don't take this the wrong way, but it's gonna be difficult to hang out if I can't tell Santana about you." She says and my smile fades at the mention of the Latina.

I look at her questioningly. "It can't be that hard just don't tell her when you see her." I reply trying to end the discussion.

"Britt, that gonna be tough. I live with her, Quinn too. She's going to notice when I disappear for secret meetings and she'll start to get suspicious." Tina says pleadingly.

I'm stunned. "You live with Santana." I state incredulously. "Why didn't you tell me that? I would never have told you everything if I had known that! I've put you in the most awkward position."

Tina moves from behind the desk to stand beside me and gently takes one of my hands in hers. "Britt, I'm glad you told me everything and sure it might be a bit awkward with Santana but I don't regret anything." She replies smiling comfortingly at me and squeezing my hand. "And I promise I won't tell Santana any of your history, that's up to you. But I think she should know you're here."

I look at her, slightly shaking my head. "Tina I know I'm putting you in a difficult position." I say apologetically. "Still, I really don't want her to know I'm here. It'll just hurt her more. I understand if you want to end this friendship, or whatever this is, though. I know it'll be hard keeping secrets from her when she's around all the time." I say sadly looking down at the floor.

"Brittany honey, of course I still want to be friends with you. I was just hoping maybe you had changed your mind." Tina says grasping my hand tighter reassuringly. I nod my head and Tina continues to speak. "I can tell that's not gonna happen though." She says sadly. "I was hoping that we could go for lunch today though, unless you're busy." The small brunette asks. "I mean, we still have so much to catch up on. Like why you're in New York in the first place."

"Oh, I'm here for college. I got a scholarship to NYU." Tina beams at me when she hears this. "My classes don't start for a couple of hour though so if you're free now we could go for a coffee?"

"Yeah sure, they don't really need me again here till lunch, I'm really just here to sign the kids in and out and do the paperwork, I help out with the kids sometimes too." Tina says, she then moves around the desk and grabs her jacket. "So, where you want to go?" She asks.

I just shrug. "I don't really know New York. Wherevers good." I say letting Tina decide.

"Cool, there is a cute little coffee place nearby, they do an awesome latte." She says before grabbing my arm and leading me out the door.

We walk the short distance to the coffee shop in relative silence occasionally commenting on passing things. When we get there Tina asks for my order and I ask her for a hot chocolate and then go to find a table for us to sit at. She joins me a couple of minutes later and places my cup in front of me.

"So what have you been up to for the last four years?" Tina asks casually a grin on her face.

I grin back at her. "Not much really, looking after Em mostly. I had a few crappy jobs. I was even a singing waitress." Tina chuckles when I say this and I laugh as well. "I know right. But I'm kinda glad I was cause it made me realize how much I missed performing, which lead me to applying for dance at NYU. I never thought I'd get in, let alone get a scholarship but I did and here I am."

She looks at me and nods happily. "Of course you got in Britt, you're an amazing dancer!" she says enthusiastically.

I just smile shyly at her. "Thanks. What about you? What have you been up to?" I ask curiously.

"Well after senior year I moved in with Santana." My smile fades at this, she must have moved into our apartment. Tina doesn't notice my change of mood and I quickly plaster the smile across my face again as Tina continues with her story. "I started going to NYADA and I've pretty much been studying most of my time since then. I'm in my fourth year now so I'm nearly done." She smiles excitedly. "I started at the day-care last year. I only work Monday, Wednesday and Friday though because I have classes on Tuesday and Thursday. I love it there and the kids are all really great." She says happily.

"That's great Tina. I'm so proud of you." I say beaming enthusiastically at her. "So are you going to try get on Broadway once you're done?" I asked interested in her plans for the future.

"Yeah I guess, I mean I used to want to be a pop singer but now the idea of acting and singing on a stage sounds really good." She says eagerly. "How about you, you gonna be a world famous dancer." She asks playfully.

I smile sadly and look down at the cup in my hands. I used to want to be a famous dancer, it was my dream, but now I'm not is as in shape as I used to be and I have Emily to think about so I really don't think it's possible anymore. Plus I'll be older than most of the people auditioning and everyone know the talented youth get the jobs. I accepted that a long time ago though and now I'd be happy to choreograph or teach as long as I get to dance.

"I'll probably just teach." I say "I don't want to work too many hours and miss out on Em growing up, you know?"

Tina nods and smiles at me. Looking down at my phone I realize its 11. My class starts at 12 so I better head of soon. "It was great catching up Tina but I need to go. I have class soon."

"Sure that's fine." Tina says cheerfully.

"Great, well I'd love to catch up again." I say.

I've missed having close friends and I really didn't realize I had until Tina. Now I have her and know she's not going to leave me I feel like I finally have someone I can talk to about my life. Our friendship felt so strong again so quickly but it didn't surprise me, Tina has always been one of the most kind and understanding people I know. I wonder if I had told her the truth four years ago things would be different now, I guess I'll never know.

"Yeah I'd love that." I say nodding in agreement. "We can set something up."

Tina nods and smiles and we stand up to go and she pulls me into a tight hug.

"Bye Britt, see you soon." The smaller brunette says surely.

"Yeah I hope so." I reply.

We walk out of the door of the café and head in opposite directions waving to each other as we part. I head back to the apartment and when I get there I quickly change into my dance clothes, stuffing my normal clothes into my gym bag and throwing it over my shoulder. Quickly heading back out the door I head to NYU. The walk doesn't take me as long as I expected and when I get there I'm twenty minutes early and I go inside and look around searching for where I'm supposed to go. Spotting some signs that say "freshmen this way" with an arrow beside it I follow them down a hallway and come to a dance studio with the doors wide open. I look around and am surprised to see there is already someone here, a young lanky guy with shaggy brown hair. He looks up when he hears me walk in and I see that he has thick black rimmed glasses covering most of his face though his shining emerald green eyes are still visible through the thick lenses. He smiles at me nervously when our eyes lock and I smile back nicely before heading to put my stuff down at the other side of the room. Once I've sat down I look at my watch and see that I still have fifteen minutes till the class starts so I look up again and spot the man opposite me staring at me. When he notices me looking back at him his eyes widen in shock and he looks away shyly. We continue to sit there in silence and after another five minutes other students start to file in. As I look at them I notice that they all look really young and I feel kind of out of place but I try and look as comfortable as possible and smile at them as they walk past. At 12 on the dot my instructor walks in and smirks at us all.

"Start stretching." He shouts not wasting any time.

Everyone scurries into the middle of the room and quickly begins their warm up.

"My name is Frederick Strain, and this is your main dance class." He says looking around and sneering at us all. "I hope you're ready to be pushed to your limits."

* * *

My first day of class was hell, my teacher was evil and didn't hold back even though it was only the first day. When I'd gotten home I'd showered and collapsed onto the couch. I had to pick Emily up though so now I'm walking up to the daycare at 3 o'clock exited to see my little girl again. I push the door open and am met by a large group of parents standing in the reception area. I feel underdressed in my baggy sweats and lose t-shirt, I try to act casual and ignore the questioning stares but I can't help but wish I'd changed before I came out. Looking around trying to spot Emily I'm surprised when my legs are suddenly grabbed from behind and turn around to find big brown eyes staring up at me.

"Mommy! I missed you." Emily shouts.

I chuckle and bend over to pick her up. "I missed you to Em." I say and hug her tightly. "Did you have fun today?"

"Yeah! I got to hang out with Tina lots. She told me loads of cool stories about you as a kid." She says excitedly.

"Sorry." I look over at the voice and see Tina standing there sheepishly. "It's impossible to say no to her. She has your pout." Tina jokes.

"Yeah I know." I grin at her. "She always gets what she want, don't you." I joke as I tickle Emily's side with my free hand.

She giggles and swats my hand away. "Only cause you love me mommy." She replies with an adorable smile.

"Yeah baby, I love you lots and lots." I say with adoration in my voice and Emily beams happily in my arms.

We stand there in silence for a minute and I'm about to ask Emily more about her day but before I can her voice interrupts me.

"Mommy," Emily says excitedly, she's obviously got a plan from her tone so I listen and see what she wants. "Can Tina come over for dinner?"

I chuckle at her forwardness and look up at Tina. Emily has obviously taken a liking to Tina and I would love to hang out with her more but I don't want to smother her.

"Only if she wants to, baby. You have to ask her first." I say softly.

"Okay." Emily says with a grin then turns in my arms to face Tina. "Tina, would you like to come for dinner?" She asks.

"I'd love to Em." The brunette says a smile across her face.

Emily nods and then wiggles in my arms. I put her down and she grabs mine and Tina's hands before pulling us towards the door. We laugh at her but let ourselves to be dragged out the door and down the street. As we walk home Emily rattles on about her day and tells me and Tina all about the new friend Luke she made and all the different things she did today. We just nod along and when we finally reach our apartment I open the door Emily runs in excitedly, grabbing Tina's hand to give her a tour of the place. I walk behind them incase Tina needs a break from Emily but Tina just smiles and nods along at the little girl's commentary. When they get to Emily's room she smiles with pride as she shows it to Tina.

"I love the color." Tina says.

"Yeah red's my favorite." Emily replies excitedly.

Tina smiles softly at her and I realize the tour is done so make my presence known.

"Hey guys, what do you want for dinner?" I ask.

The small blonde face scrunches in thought. "Can we have pasta mommy?" She asks with a cute pout on her face.

"If Tina's okay with it?" I look at Tina and the small brunette nods. "Okay then, you wanna help me cook Em?"

"Yeah!" she says excitedly clapping her hands. "Can Tina help too?" The small blonde asks.

"I would love to." Tina replies a grin splitting her face.

We all head towards the kitchen and I open a cupboard, pulling three aprons out. I hand Emily her one with a picture of the duck on the front and then hand Tina a plain red one. I put my own one on and Tina laughs. At first I'm confused by her laughter but then I look down and remember my apron has a picture of a rolling pin on the front with the phrase "That's how I roll" written underneath. I smile at her and go to the other cupboards, pulling out the ingredients for Spaghetti Bolognese. Emily grabs her stool and sets it beside the counter and Tina walks up beside her.

"Right troops, Em fill the kettle and put it on." The little girl giggles and salutes then heads of to do her job. "Tina, can you cut up the vegetables please." I ask.

Tina grins and salutes copying Emily and grabs a knife and starts on the vegetables.

We cook dinner together, me and Tina keeping a close eye on Emily while she watches the spaghetti cook and when it's all done we sit around the table to eat. We chat as we eat the dinner we made and Tina laughs as Emily tells her stories about our life together. When were finished I stand up and clear the plates off the table and Emily runs to the bathroom. I look over to the table but am surprised when I find Tina standing behind me.

She gives me an apologetic look. "Sorry Britt but I've got to go now before my roommates start to worry." She says sadly.

"That's cool Tina." I smile "I'm sorry if Emily pestered you today. She tends to get a bit overenthusiastic."

"It's fine, she's an awesome kid."

"I know. I'm really lucky" I say. "I'll just go get her to say goodbye."

I walk out of the kitchen and find Emily in the hall. "Hey baby, Tina has to go home now. Come say goodbye."

She nods and runs to the kitchen "BYE TINA!" she shouts as she wraps her arms around the small brunette's legs.

Tina chuckles and looks down at her. "Bye Em, I had fun today."

"Me too! Can we hang out again?" The smaller blonde asks hopefully.

"If your mommy says it's okay." She looks over at me and I nod. "Great! How about we go out for dinner tomorow?"

Emily squeals in excitement. "Yeah! Can we mommy?" She says looking up at me with the famous 'Pierce pout'.

"Sure baby it sounds like fun." I reply chuckling at her puppy dog eyes.

"Okay then. I've really got to go now." Tina says as she walks to the door and opens it. "Bye Em. Bye Britt."

"Bye Tina" We shout simultaneous.

Tina smiles one more time and then walks out the door and closes it behind her.

"I like Tina. She's cool." Emily says smiling up at me.

"Yeah she is." I reply smiling.

I stand staring at the door Tina left through and can't help but grin, I've finally got one of my friends back and I couldn't be happier.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry about the lack of actual plot in this chapter I didn't realize till I'd finished writing it, I was having too much fun writing about Tina's friendship with Britt and Em :P If the whole how classes at college work thing is wrong, I'm from the U.K. so don't know how college works in America sorry. Anyway thanks for reading and please review or PM me with any comments or suggestions, there all appreciated!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Guess who's back, back again :P Thank you for all of your follows, favorites and reviews there all amazing :) A few people mentioned how Emily seemed to mature for her age and after looking back over the chapters so far I realized you're probably right :S I'll try and make her seem more her age from now on and might go back and edit some stuff. **

**Leggofmyeggo: Hello again! Thanks for the review :D I'm glad you liked the fluff I loved writing it! I'm glad you like Britt rekindling her old friendships and making new ones cause it's something I'm really excited to write as she's such a friendly bubbly person and I think it'll be fun. I'm glad you like Em and I noticed the age thing so I'm going to try fixing that in future chapters :)**

**tinygleek: I'm glad you like the story :D And have no fear the Brittana reunion is getting closer!**

**Allie: Thank you so much! Don't worry Santana will find out about Brittany soon :)**

**CalmingBlue: Thanks for your review and I'm glad your exited for the Santana Emily meeting :D I get what you're saying about the age thing and will try to fix that but when I was three and a half I used the stove. That may just be because my parents were like "if she burns herself at least she'll know not to do it again", that mantra didn't really work though because I still burn myself daily. :P**

**Jacqueline: Thanks! Brittana will be reunited... eventually :P**

**xannaxmurderx: Okay... here you go :P**

**Guest 1: I'm glad you're finding the story interesting :) I like the whole Mercedes and Santana friendship too but I figured having all the Glee club in New York was a little unrealistic so I chose my favourites, Mercedes may guest star though :P I agree about the Rachel thing, no offense to fans of her character but she just annoys me.**

**Guest 2: Thanks!**

**(Reminder to guest reviewers to please leave some kind of name with your review so I don't get you confused and you're easier to respond to, thanks.)**

**So on with the story, any mistakes are mine :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to glee.**

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Santana's POV

It's a Tuesday night and I'm sitting alone in my living room watching repeats of Hoarders on the T.V. like the wild child that I am. It's 7 o'clock and I'm half way through my third episode when I hear the door open I glance up and see Tina walk into the living room a grin plastered on her face. Looking up at her I wonder where she's been since her work ended four hours ago.

"Het T, where've you been?" I ask as she takes a seat on the couch beside me.

"I went out for dinner with some friends" she replies vaguely. "Aren't you working tonight?" she asks obviously trying to change the subject.

I look at her curiously, this is the second time she's gone out for dinner 'with friends' in two nights. I know she's hiding something from me but I can't work out what, maybe she got a boyfriend. That'd be fun, I could tease her endlessly. Then again maybe that's why she hasn't told me yet.

"Yeah I start at 8. I should probably go start getting ready." I reply. "T, are you ok? You've just seemed a bit off since Friday." I ask worriedly, I want to find out what is causing my friend to be so evasive.

She looks at me and gives me a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm fine I've just got so much work and my other friends want to hang out all the time. I'm just busy, I'm sure things will slow down soon." She says apologetically.

"Okay then." I reply trying to keep the mood light. "But if you ever need to talk I'm here, okay? Plus I miss hanging out with my resident Asian."

"Yeah S I know and I miss you too." She laughs as she stands up and pulls me after her into a hug. "You're the best you know?"

"I've been told." I chuckle.

She laughs and slaps my arm playfully and I pull out of the hug and head of to my room to get ready for work.

After showering and drying my hair I slip on one of my fancier outfits for work, a tight black thigh length dress with three quarter length sleeves and a low neck line. I put on a light layer of make-up, not wanting to overdo it and grab my jacket and purse of my chair. I head into the living room to let Quinn and Tina know I'm heading off and when Quinn sees me her face scrunches in disapproval.

"S, why do you dress like that? You've left nothing to the imagination." Quinn says carefully.

"Oh Q, you know you love it. It gets your lady juices flowing." I smirk and her face just turns to one of complete disgust.

"Okay, first of all that's nasty, you're like my sister," she says in faking nausea "and for the last time I don't like women! Secondly, I'm serious, why do you dress like that?"

"Q you know I get bigger tips when I dress like this, guys are perv's. I need the extra tips. It's gonna be slow cause it's a Tuesday night and this body get me money." I sigh in defeat, I realize how much I made myself sound like a prostitute and wrinkle my nose at that horrifying image.

"I know S but I just don't get why you're still working in that crappy bar. You should be doing something that you love." I roll my eyes at her.

We have this argument at least three times a week and it never gets us anywhere. Sure I don't want to work at a bar for the rest of my life but it's not like I have any other opportunities at the moment. No one will hire a college drop out with no work experience except serving cheap alcohol to pervy men and underage college students. I really want to make something of my life it's just not that easy and I guess I'm scared to try. God, I sound like such a pussy, 'scared to try', what the fuck has happened to me.

I turn back to Quinn and just shake my head and give her a look that says 'I'm not doing this again' and walk towards the door shouting behind me.

"Bye T." I shout.

"Bye S." Tina replies.

I get a cab to work and when I get there the bar is surprisingly busy for 8 on a Tuesday night.

"Hey Sanny, get your ass over here." I hear a man shout.

I walk over and grin at the tall man who had shouted from behind the bar. "Hey Jackie." I greet pinching his cheek.

Jackson just laughs and returns to mixing the drinks in his hands. I'd met Jackson Woods when I had first moved to New York. He'd originally hired me to sing at his more upscale bar but when that had fallen through he had offered me a job at his other bar "Woods Corner", great name I know. We had worked together really well for the first two weeks until he had tried to hit on me and honestly if I was straight he'd be perfect for me. He was striking with his tall muscular build and tanned skin. Top that off with his short curly blonde hair and piercing pale blue eyes and he was practically sex on legs. He also had one of the best personalities and we really clicked together. He'd taken my rejection well when I had explained that I liked the ladies and our friendship had become really strong and now I love him like a brother.

"It's busy we need your second best skills behind the bar." He jokes with a wink.

I just snort at him, I'm so a better bartender than him.

"Oh I'm bout to own your ass." I say in a mock ghetto voice.

I step behind the bar and begin to take orders and mix drinks like a pro. He laughs along and continues working beside me.

The rest of the evening went by quickly with no major incidents other than an attempted drunken grope, but Jackson soon put them in their place and no one tried that again. When I eventually get home at 3 in the morning I'm exhausted and collapse onto bed, letting sleep quickly consume me.

Brittany's POV

It was only my third day of classes and I'm already exhausted. I'd managed to hold my own so far but the people here were all so talented and I feel under qualified to be here. I'm in my last dance class of the day and the teacher shouts at us to pair off. Everyone quickly grabs a partner and I'm left standing alone looking for a free guy. I spot the man I had seen on my first day standing shyly over at the side of the room and walk over to him.

"Hey, I'm Brittany." I greet him cheerily and he just stares at me nervously. "Do you have a partner?"

He looks at me and hesitantly shakes his head.

"Wanna dance with me?" I ask trying to seem as friendly as possible. This guy seems terrified by me.

He nods his head and I grab his hand and pull him out onto the dance floor. The class is ballroom and we're supposed to be doing a tango so I take his hands and place them on my waist and shoulder. He stiffens and looks at me dazed by my forwardness but then relaxes and we start to move along to the music. We dance together in silence for an hour before the teacher calls the class to an end. The man lets go of my waist and hurries to the other side of the room. My stuff is beside his so I follow and go to grab my bag.

I hear a voice behind me and turn to face my dance partner. "A-Adam." he stutters

"Pardon" I say trying not to discourage the man from talking.

"M-my name's Adam." He say's again a little bit more confidently.

A grin spreads across my face. "It's nice to meet you Adam." I say cheerily.

I turn to go out the door quickly as I need to leave or I'm going to be late picking up Emily and she'll be mad because were supposed to go to the park with Tina after daycare today.

"B-Brittany." I hear Adam stutter from behind me so I turn around. "Are you going to pick up your daughter?" He asks timidly and my face scrunches in confusion. How did he know I have a daughter? Is he some kind of psycho stalker?

He obviously senses my confusion and speaks again looking more terrified than before. "M-my brother goes to the same daycare." He explains quickly. "I usually pick him up."

I nod and smile reassuringly at Adam to try and make him relax. "Yeah I'm going to pick her up. Are you headed there now?" I ask.

"Uh huh." He says as he looks down shyly. "Do you wanna walk together?"

I can help but grin at this man's adorable shyness and nod my head enthusiastically at him.

He grins at me when I nod and seems to become more confident as he reaches for his bag and we head out the room together. On the way to the daycare Adam seems to become a lot more comfortable as we chat, exchanging pleasantries and stories about our lives. I learn that his name is Adam Summers, he is nineteen years old and is a New Yorker born and bred. He lives with his parents and little brother and sister, but his parents are busy so he mostly takes care of his siblings. When we get to the daycare he walks slightly ahead of me and holds the door open and I can't help but grin at his chivalry. As we enter I hear footsteps run towards us and voices shouting.

"Mommy!"

"Adam!"

I bend down holding my arms out for the little girl running towards me. Adam does the same beside me and I take in his brother running towards him. The little boy is an exact replica for Adam except from his slightly tanned skin and the turquoise colored eyes hidden behind his Spiderman glasses. When Emily reaches me I lift her into the air and do a spin before settling her into my arms. I look over at Adam and find him standing holding his brothers hand smiling at me.

"Hey Em, this is Adam. Guess what? He's in my classes." I say excitedly to the little girl in my arms.

She looks over at the taller man and smiles at him. "Are you Luke's daddy?" Emily asks innocently and I smile realizing I've befriended my daughters new best friends brother, isn't life just a big coincidence.

I chuckle and go to correct the little girl in my arms when a voice interrupts me.

"No silly." The little boy Luke says with a giggle. "Adam's my big brother."

"Cool!" Emily exclaims. "I've always wanted a brother."

When Emily says this I look at her sadly as she'll probably never have a sibling, I can't really see anyone in my future I'd want to have more kids with.

"Well, I could be you pretend big brother." Adam says sweetly. "The amount Luke talks about you I feel like I know you already."

When Adam says this the little boy and girl's faces turn red with a blush and me and Adam just chuckle at the pair. As we're laughing I spot Tina walking over to us and wave at her enthusiastically.

"Hey Britt." She greets with a smile.

"Hey Tina." I reply and look at the man standing awkwardly beside me. "Tina this is Adam, he's in my dance classes. And I guess you already know his brother Luke here. Guy's this is my friend Tina." I say introducing the group.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you Adam." Tina says cheerily and I swear I see Adam blush.

"N-nice to m-meet y-you too." Adam stutters shyly looking down at the ground and scuffing his feet.

God he was acting shyer with her than when he had met me, and that's saying something. That's when it hits me. Adam _**so**_ has a crush on Tina it all made sense, the shyness and blushing not to mention the subtle smile that curved his lips when she walked over to us. It's probably why he talked to me in the first place, I'm friends with Tina after all. I grin at the pair and watch Adam smile bashfully at Tina, time to bring out my match maker skills.

"Hey Adam, me, Em and Tina were going to go to the park. Do you and Luke want to join us?" I ask innocently.

Both children's face light up when I say this and Tina seems unfazed so I guess it's okay with them. Adam just goes wide eyed and stares at me in shock before opening his mouth to talk.

"S-sure. That sounds a-awesome" He says, desperately trying to regain some of his composure.

"Great! Everyone ready to go?" I ask and the group nods in return.

We all head towards the door and Emily and Luke walk ahead of us chatting to each other animatedly while I attempt to start a conversation between the adults.

"So Adam, what kind of music do you like." I ask

"E-eh well I like rock mostly." Me and Tina smile at the answer and the walk to the park continues with idle chit chat about each other's lives. I try and encourage Tina and Adam to talk but Adam is so shy that he stutters when Tina asks him questions, It's adorable really.

When we finally reach the park Emily and Luke run off to the play area while Tina, Adam and I sit on one the benches off to the side and continue to talk.

Santana's POV

I wake up surprisingly early this morning considering I'd worked until 3 last night. Feeling oddly energetic I decide to go for a run to mine, Tina and Quinn's favorite park. I like it there, it's a great place to think and to be honest I need the exercise. I'm halfway round the lake when I spot a familiar brunette sitting on one of the benches by the kids play area. I can only see the back of her head but it's definitely Tina. I'm about to walk over when I notice a blonde and a dark haired man sitting beside her. Something seems strangely familiar about the blonde but I just shake it off and start to walk towards them.

Brittany's POV

I was chatting to Tina and Adam about how cute Em and Luke were together when Adam suddenly cuts in.

"You know I think he has a crush on her." Adam says while chuckling and I turn towards him laughing and swat his arm.

"Tuff luck. Emily is not allowed to date till she's thirty." I deadpan and both Tina and Adam burst out laughing at my serious face. They seem to find it ridiculously funny for some reason and Adam has to put his hand on my shoulder to stabilize his body shaking with laughter.

Santana's POV

I'm walking towards the group when the blonde in the middle suddenly turns towards the dark haired man beside her and hits him on the arm. When I see her face I freeze instantly and feel the air get caught in my throat. My mind goes blank and I can only think one thing.

Brittany.

As I continue to stand there frozen I internally start to panic, what the fuck is she doing here? I haven't seen her in four years and suddenly here she is in New York talking to MY best friend without so much as a warning. My panic turns to anger as I see the man beside her laughing and put his hand on her shoulder. Oh great, she brought her fucking boyfriend. He was probably the guy she left me for. I mean he was so special she'd never break up with him. She left me for him and now they're just sitting there laughing with my best friend as if they did nothing wrong. I stare at Tina dumbfounded as she sits talking to the girl who shattered my heart into a million pieces. Why the fuck would she do that, why would she be talking to her? So many questions are running around in my mind and I feel like it's gonna explode. I glance at Brittany again and notice how she seems to have gotten more beautiful with age. WHAT THE FUCK. Why would I think that! She broke my heart! She's not beautiful she's a fucking liar!

My body starts to shake with anger and I turn away from the group and run as fast as possible in the opposite direction towards my apartment hoping that I could just forget everything I had just seen or that I'll wake up and discover this is all a bad dream.

When I get home I fall onto the couch and stare at the ground.

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, angry, sad, heartbroken or all of the above. I have too many emotions at the same time. I just want to curl up in a ball and make them all disappear but I can't. As I sit here one thought keeps running through my mind, Brittany looked so happy. How was that fair, she put me through so much pain and there she was sitting laughing and getting touched by some other man. It makes my heart feel like lead and I want to shut myself in a room and disappear. How is it possible that after so long seeing her again has this effect on me, it's just pathetic! I sit there miserably and slowly a stream of tears starts running down my face. After about thirty minutes I hear the front door open and a voice shouting for me.

"Hey Santana, Tina I'm home, are you in?" Quinn shouts

I remain sitting silently on the couch tears soundlessly streaming down my face. I hear footsteps in the doorway to the living room and then I look up to find Quinn standing there with a worried look on her face. When she sees my tears she immediately runs over to me and pulls me into a hug.

"Honey what's wrong?" She coos into my ear.

I just shake my head and sink further into her embrace hoping she'll absorb all my pain.

"It's okay sweetie, you just need to calm down okay. Everything is gonna be okay." She reassures me as she slowly starts rocking us from side to side.

I let her hug me for what seems like forever and eventually my tears start to slow down and I'm starting to feel calm again. Suddenly I hear the front door open again and my sadness immediately starts to turn into anger knowing who it must be. I roughly push out of Quinn's embrace and she looks at me hurt and shocked by my sudden change of emotion. I ignore her and just stand in front of the couch firsts clenched. When Tina enters the room her face immediately is taken over by concern as she takes in my appearance. She starts to walk over to me but I hold my hand out to stop her and she complies. We stand there silently for a minute until one venomous word leaves my mouth.

"Brittany."

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**A/N: Yeah I was in a cliffhanger mood :) Santana now knows about Britt, what will happen next! Thanks for reading and please review or PM me with any thoughts or comments, they're all appreciated :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: First of all thanks you **_**so**_** much for all you follows, favorites, reviews and PM's, they literally make me do a happy dance :P So there's going to be a bit of angst for a while but I will try to insert as much fluff as possible but bear with me things will get better! Side note: I really thought this week's episode of Glee wasn't that bad and thought maybe it was improving again… then I saw the promo for next week. Luckily we still have fanfic :P (p.s. Bram never happened in my story and Quinn wasn't defined by a man again at college :| )**

**tinygleek: Thanks for the review :) Brittana will have it out… eventually**

**xannaxmurderx: Thank you! I always love reading your reviews :D The Brittana reunion will happen soon :)**

**MandyJai13: Here's your update! Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**Guest: I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! Here's your update :)**

**(Sorry the responses are a little lame. I'm in a funk.)**

**Okay so back to the story, any mistakes are mine :)**

**Trigger warning: Mention of rape.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to glee.**

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Santana's POV

"Brittany."

I stare at Tina threateningly and watch as her eyes widen in shock at the mention of the blondes name. Out of the corner of my eye I see Quinn's face scrunch in confusion, obviously having no idea what I'm talking about. There's a positive at least, only one of my best friends snuck around behind my back talking to the girl who had destroyed my heart. After waiting a couple of minutes for a response from Tina I decide she's not going to answer so I talk again.

"How long have you been talking to Brittany?" I say venomously.

I see Quinn's face contort in shock from the corner of my eye and she stands up at my side but I just continue to stare daggers at Tina. The smaller brunette opens her mouth to talk but no words come out and it just hangs open limply.

"S, what are you talking about?" Quinn asks cautiously, obviously confused by the current situation.

"I'm talking about how I saw Tina at our park this afternoon with _**her**_ and some guy who was all over her." I shout my words laced with rage.

Tina looks at me pleadingly and I just stare back, fury in my eyes. "S, it's not what it looked like." Tina says desperately.

"So you weren't in the park with Brittany?" I ask viciously.

"Well yeah I was bu-"

I cut Tina's off and walk up to her so my face is inches from hers.

"I asked you a fucking question!" I shout in her face. "How long have you been talking to her!"

Tina backs away a look of fear in her eyes. I have never shown this kind of anger towards the smaller brunette but when Brittany's involved something just happens to me and I get ridiculously angry. I know I shouldn't be shouting at her like this, it just feels like all the anger that has built up over the last four years is pouring out of me now. Tina just happens to be the unlucky one on the receiving end.

"Since last Friday." Tina says quietly as she shifts her gaze to stare at the floor.

When I hear her things slowly start to fall into place. The way Tina has acted strangely and been out all the time since Friday have a reason now. She was with Brittany and was hiding it from me. She has been talking to Brittany and had lied to me about it repeatedly. It may have only been for less than a week but it still hurt. The fact that I had asked her what was wrong with her repeatedly and had been genuinely worried I'd done something wrong when in fact and she had just been lying to me only made it worse.

"You've been lying about this since Friday? Where did you even meet her? How could you even talk to her in the first place?" I ask as rage in my voice being replaced by hurt. "Do you not remember what she did to me? She left me for a guy because it would be easier. She's a fucking hypocrite that told me she would be proud to be with me and then left me for a _**guy**_. For the second time in our relationship she chose a guy over me and I had no choice but to watch her leave." I say my voice rising again. "She scarred me for life. She broke me and I was in agony for months. You know all this yet you still go out with her for a chat at the park! In _**our**_ fucking park!" I say incredulously. "Why the hell would you fucking do that! Why would you even go near that bitch!"

I stand and wait for and answer and the time seems to pass by slowly until Tina finally makes a move. She takes a shaky breath and lifts her head to look up at me. Her dark brown eyes lock with mine and silently beg me to listen to her.

"Santana, please I want to tell you everything but I can't. I never meant to hurt you but there is a lot you still don't understand about the situation." She says desperation lacing her voice. "You need to talk to Brittany sh-"

I cut her off again. "There is no chance in hell I'm going anywhere near her!" I say bitterly. "Tina you need to explain why you were talking to her now. I don't give a fuck if you made some kind of twisted deal with her try and trick me into talking to her but I'm not going to so you need to explain or things are going to start getting worse." I growl.

"Santana please it's really not my place. I didn't make any deal with Brittany, she doesn't want to see you either but you both need to talk to each other." Tina says pleadingly.

Tina's words hurt me more than I expect them to. Brittany doesn't even want to see me. I know this shouldn't upset me but it does. It breaks my heart that the girl I thought was my soulmate can't even stand the thought of being near me. I can't feel hurt anymore so I suppress my feelings and let the rage I feel about everything pour out at Tina.

"You know what Tina if you can't tell me the truth you can get the fuck out" Tina and Quinn's face warp in shock. "Since Brittany's your new best friend why don't you go live with her and her fucking man whore!"

Tina looks at me hurt in her eyes and Quinn comes up beside me and gently grabs my arm.

"S, don't you think that a bit harsh?" Quinn says quietly.

"No I fucking don't." I say turning to Quinn and shrugging off her hand. "She made her choice when she started talking to Brittany again and chose to hide it. If she won't tell me why she's doing it she has to face the consequences." I turn back to Tina.

"Santana listen to yourself. You're just angry you need to calm down and think about this rationally." Quinn implores.

"I'm not going to stay here while she's here so she either gets the fuck out or I leave!" I scream.

Tina looks at me dejectedly then turns to Quinn.

"It's okay Q. I think we all need some time to cool off." She says sadly.

She turns and walks to her room and I stand frozen my fists clenched by my sides. After five minutes she re-emerges with a small duffle and walks to the front door glancing back towards me and Quinn sadly.

"Bye Q. Bye Santana. I really am sorry." She says honestly.

When I hear the front door close my body unfreezes and I collapse to the ground in tears. Quinn drops to the ground beside me and wrap her arms tightly around me and starts stroking my arm.

"It's okay S." She coos. "Everything will work out."

I turn to her and bury my face in her shoulder. "How could she do that to me?" I sob into Quinn, not really sure if I'm still talking about Tina.

"I don't know honey, I don't know." She replies gently stroking my hair.

Brittany's POV

I'd just put Emily to bed when I hear a knock at the front door. Closing Emily's door quietly I hurry over and open it to find a miserable looking Tina on the other side. When I see her I pull her into a hug and shut the door behind her, holding her as she cries into my shoulder. She cries for a couple of minutes and then seems to calm down as she struggles from my embrace and stands in front of me.

"Tina honey, what happened?" I ask softly.

She looks away sadly and opens her mouth to speak. "Santana saw us at the park."

As soon as she mentions Santana my body freezes and so many questions run through my mind. Why was Tina here then? What had Santana said? Had Santana seen Emily? But before I can ask any of them Tina speaks again.

"She saw me, you and Adam at the park talking. I think she assumed Adam was the guy you left her for." I scrunch my face in confusion at this. Me and Adam weren't' a couple, we weren't even really friends yet, I was trying to set him up with Tina for God's sake. "When I got home she asked me how long I had been talking to you and when I answered she got really mad and threw me out." I gasp in shock and look at Tina apologetically.

"Tina, I'm so sorry. This is my fault. I shouldn't have asked you to hide me from her. I should have just left you alone. I'm so sorry." I say apologetically.

"Britt, its fine it's not your fault. I should have forced you to deal with this." She says regretfully and I stare at her in confusion.

"What do you mean 'I should have forced you to deal with this'?" I ask in confusion.

"Brittany, you two should have never broken up in the first place." I'm stunned by her words and go to interrupt but she holds her hand up. "Britt, I know why you did it, you didn't want to destroy her dreams and force her to take care of a baby. But Britt you ruined them anyway when you left her." Tina says sadly. "I don't mean to be harsh it's just… she a bartender now, did you know that?" I shake my head in too much shock from Tina's words to speak. "She hasn't sung in front of a crowd since you left. On her first night at that signing job you were talking about she froze up and couldn't sing and she got fired. All her dreams were lost when you left because… you were always supposed to be beside her in every one. I know you think you did it for the best, but it just left her miserable." I look at my feet in shame. "I know you haven't been happy either. Em told me how you sometimes cry in your sleep while saying Santana's name." I look up at this, I didn't even know I did that, sure I had dreams about her but Emily never told me I actually cried out for her. "Even she can tell there is something missing from your life. I know I'm way out of line here, but I think you know I'm right."

I let a single tear escape my eye before speaking to Tina in a strangely calm voice. "Tina, of course I miss her but _**I hurt**_ her. I never wanted to leave, I just wanted her to be happy and I though she still could be without me. I didn't know she would stop singing. She loves it so much I thought she'd never give it up. I panicked and made a rash decision and yeah I regret it but I can't take it back. I didn't want her to have to deal with the consequences of my drunken one night stand and be dragged down by my mistake." I explain and when I finish Tina sighs at me.

"Britt, it wasn't a one night stand." Tina says bluntly.

"What?" I say confused by her words.

"Brittany, it wasn't a one night stand." She repeats. "I know you pretend it was but it wasn't. From what you described to me that man had sex with you when you were no longer able to say no. You don't even remember any of it, you can't have been conscious when he slept with you. Brittany that's… he… it was rape." She says hesitantly looking at me apologetically. "I know you don't want to think of it like that but that's what happened." I look at her shocked, why was she saying these things? "The pregnancy wasn't your fault. I know you don't regret it now you have Emily but it still wasn't your fault. Sure you shouldn't have flirted with him but he chose to cross a line when he had sex with you when you blacked out when you had already pushed him away."

I stare at Tina dumbfounded. No one had ever actually said that word out loud to me about the situation. My parents had just said it was my fault I got pregnant when I had told them. Deep down I've always known that's what it was though. It was easier to deny though as I couldn't remember that night so I could just pretend it never happened. I hate thinking that it could have been rape though. If that night had never happened I wouldn't have Emily, how could such an amazing person be a product of come from something so terrible? I love Emily and she makes everything I have been through worth it. She makes every bad thing in my life good just by being alive. I don't want to think of her coming from something so horrible.

"Brittany, you didn't want to sleep with someone else, you didn't want to get pregnant and you didn't want to leave Santana so broken but you did." Tina says matter of factly. "It all happened and you can't just ignore it and pretend that everything is okay like you have been for the past four years." She says her eyes pleading me to talk to her about it.

I look away from Tina again and walk across the room to lean on the back of the couch for stability, this conversation is kind of overwhelming.

"Tina, I appreciate what you're saying, but it doesn't stop it being my fault I got pregnant." I say sadly.

"Brittany, it's not your fault." Tina says quietly moving over to stand by me. "He raped you."

"It is my fault Tina." I mumble back. "It_** has**_ to be my fault I had sex with him and that I got pregnant." I say tears collecting in my eyes. "It has to be my fault because I _**need**_ to blame myself." I say as tears start to run down my face and Tina puts her hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles. "If it wasn't me leaving Santana made no sense at all. She would have been so supportive when I told her had what happened but instead I hurt her. I _**need**_ it to be my fault or I hurt her for no good reason, I just panicked and made a stupid decision." I cry sinking to sit on the ground.

"Britt it's not your fault," she repeats "and leaving her was what you thought was right at the time, and it might have been. Things are different now though and you need to deal with everything." Tina says soothingly. "You need to accept that you made some bad choices, but it doesn't mean you can't be happy."

"I don't want to deal with what it means if it wasn't my fault though." I say desperately. "I feel sick when I think that someone abused me like that. If I pretend it was a one night stand I don't have to deal with all the pain and sadness that night involves."

Tina looks as me and I swear I see pity in her eyes and it just makes me hate myself for being so pathetic.

"Honey I think you need to deal with it though." Tina says comfortingly. "You need to deal with what happened and move on so things can get better."

I sniff meekly and wipe some tears from my face.

"Mommy?"

I look up and see Emily standing in the doorway in her Duck onesie looking at me worriedly. I quickly pull myself together and walk over to her and crouch in front of her putting on my best smile to try and seem okay.

"Hey baby girl, I'm sorry. Did we wake you up?" I say gently lifting her up and snuggling her into my chest.

Emily nods her head and continues to look at me worriedly.

"Mommy, are you okay?" She asks quietly resting her head on my shoulder.

"Yeah baby I'm okay, me and Tina were just talking." I reassure the little girl stroking her head gently.

"You look sad… did Tina make you cry? If she did I'll go all Lima heights." She says lifting her head to glare at Tina.

I chuckle hug her tightly. "No Em, Tina didn't make me cry. We were just talking about something that made me feel sad, I'm better now you're here though."

"Okay mommy." She says tentatively and looks over at Tina. "Why are you here?" Emily asks curiously looking at Tina.

"Oh, well Tina is gonna stay with us for a while. Isn't that right Tina?" I say smiling at the small brunette. She nods gratefully and Emily squeals and jumps out my arms and runs over to her.

"Cool! Like a sleepover, I've never had one before!" Emily says excitedly bouncing up and down.

"Baby, Tina's probably really tired. Why don't you go to my room and get into bed while I help Tina get your room ready to sleep in. Maybe then we can hang out tomorrow night, okay?" I suggest trying to spare Tina from Emily's over enthusiasm.

"Aww, please mommy I promise to be good." Emily pouts.

"A sleepover party actually sounds like fun to me." Tina chimes in and the smaller blonde turns and grins at her.

"Yay! Tina wants to. Please." Emily begs looking up at me with puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. We can watch one movie, but then it's bed. You still have daycare tomorrow." I say firmly.

"Thank you mommy." Emily squeals and runs over to me and wraps her arms around my legs tightly.

Emily goes and grabs a DVD before handing it to me to stick in the player. As I head over to the television Emily grabs Tina's arm and pulls her over to the couch, grabbing the blanket off the back and throwing it over them.

"Mommy sit here." Emily demands while pointing to the space beside her.

"I'm coming baby." I chuckle heading over to the couch.

When I get there Emily pulls the blanket over me and snuggles into my side. I hit play on the movie and the three of us sit quietly watching the DVD in front of us. Halfway through I notice Emily's fallen asleep in my lap so pick her up gently and head to my room to put her to bed.

"Britt, where are you going?" Tina asks looking up from the movie.

"I'm just putting Em to bed I'll be back in a minute." I reply shifting the little girl in my arms.

"I know that. I meant why are you putting Em in your room?" Tina asks curiously.

"We'll you're going to sleep in Em's room and she's going to sleep in mine." I reply, I thought that was obvious.

"I can't steal Em's room Britt; I'll just sleep on the couch. Really it's fine." She says.

"Don't be silly Tina, Em and I are used to sharing a bed, its fine. You'll have to deal with all her stuffed animals though." I chuckle, Emily might not have that many teddies compared to other kids but every one she has stays on her bed.

"I'll manage, I'm just grateful to have a bed." She says. "Well I'm gonna head to bed, night B." She says as she stands up and walks past me down the hall to Emily's room

"Night." I call after the retreating brunette.

I head to my room and quietly shut the door behind me laying Emily on the bed before climbing in myself. As I snuggle under the covers the smaller blonde wiggles closer to me so I put my arms around her protectively hugging her tightly. As I lay there drifting off to sleep thoughts race around my head and I eventually fall asleep with one thing on my mind.

Santana.

**A/N: I really w**

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**asn't sure about the whole Brittany and Tina interaction in this chapter and I apologies if anyone feels I've not properly done justice to how victims of rape feel. I have never been through or known anyone who has gone through it so struggled slightly knowing exactly how Brittany would react to Tina. Anyway thanks for reading and please review or PM me with any comments or thoughts you have, I love hearing what you all think and it makes me want to wright more :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello! Thanks for all the follows, favorites, reviews and PM's you sent my way on the last chapter, they all make me so happy. So I feel kinda bad as this is an angsty chapter and I know all the Brittana shippers need some fluff at the moment due to the Bram fuckery going on in the show. I actually really like Sam's character just not his storyline at the moment :/ Hopefully Fox will see the bad reaction to it and end that plot soon but until then we will all just have to rely on stories written by the fans as we seem to be the only ones with respect for Santana and Brittany's characters. Happiness will come eventually (in the show and my story) so just hold on! Brittana is endgame.**

**IHateBram: Thanks :D Brittana will come soon. I've not been purposely focusing on just Brittany it just kinda happened, don't worry though there are a lot of Santana centric chapters coming up. (p.s. love your name :P)**

**meshannen: Thank you :) I know it was sad but I felt that Santana wouldn't know what to do with herself when she found out about Brittany and thought freaking out at Tina would be a probable reaction.**

**njhousefan: Thank you :D I get what you're saying about Quinn but I've kind of ended up slitting it up so that Tina deals with Brittany and Quinn deals with Santana, it wasn't on purpose it just kind of happened that way. I will.**

**tinygleek: Santana and Tina will sort there stuff out :) and thank you, I really like writing Emily.**

**xannaxmurderx: Thank you I was kind of worried about people's reactions to that part :S I feel the Santana's pain but we will see happy Santana… eventually :P**

**Grrrrs Randomness: Happy Brittana will happen in time. Brittany will explain soon but Emily won't really be involved with Santana yet. They will hopefully have some cute moments in future chapters though.**

**CalmingBlue: I get the chapter length thing but I'm a full time university student so don't have a massive amount of time to write so I decided when I started this story on shorter more regular chapters rather than longer ones further apart. But I'm glad you still like the story :)**

**Itsmetati: ****Thank you :) The plot is a bit sad at the moment but it will be happy eventually.**

**HeyaBrittana95:**** T****hank you :D I love righting Tina and she's always been one of my favourite characters so I just right her as imagine she be if she actually talked a lot :P Brittana will come.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to glee or any other products or places mentioned in this story.**

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Santana's POV

I wake up face down in my bed and feel my head pounding with one of the worst hangover's I've ever experienced, and that's saying something considering my drinking history. I'm not really surprised though I'd basically spent the last 36 hours drinking and that's a record even for me.

After Tina had left on Wednesday I had cried for hours before I'd given up and turned to the tequila for comfort. Quinn had tried to stop me from drinking but when I went out to buy more alcohol after her hiding it all she gave up and just made sure I didn't kill myself. I had spent the entire night drinking myself into oblivion and when I had woken up Quinn had tried to drag me out to lunch. I'd refused to go with her complaining about a hangover but had ended up at a bar by 12 drinking all day until she had to come pick me up early in the morning wasted and broke.

Now I'm sitting here with a killer headache, usually Tina would take care of me but there is no chance of that happening today so groaning I crawl out of bed and make my way to the kitchen. When I get there I find some Gatorade, Advil and breadsticks on the counter with a note beside them.

_Gone to work, will be home at 2. Don't even think of getting wasted again cause we need to talk when I get back. Love you. Q xxx_

I sigh at the message and pick up the Advil and down two with some Gatorade. Glancing at the clock, I see it's already 1.30 so Quinn will be home soon. I pick up the breadsticks and head to the couch slumping down onto it when I get there. I really don't want to talk to Quinn about the whole Tina talking to Brittany behind my back situation. I just don't understand why Tina would talk to her. She had been there through my near breakdown. She knew the scar's I still carried from what Brittany had done to me. She knew how much Brittany had hurt me but she still did it anyway. The worst part was she didn't seem to regret talking to Brittany, she just regretted how I had found out. She _**should**_ have felt bad for talking to her but the only thing she seemed to feel bad about was hiding it. Why didn't she feel guilty, had Brittany done some Jedi mind tricks on her and made her forget the pain I went through because of her? Groaning I lie back on the couch. My head hurts too much to think anymore. About twenty minutes and a box of breadsticks later I hear the door open and Quinn shouting for me.

"Santana, you here?"

"Living room." I groan loudly.

"Oh, so you're still alive then." She mocks as she saunters into the room.

"Shup' Q." I mumble into the couch cushions.

"Sorry S it's just with the amount of alcohol in your system I was afraid you'd self-combust." She jests.

"Fuh Yu." I mumble.

"Sorry San, I didn't quiet catch that." She jokes.

"I said fuck you Quinn." I say harshly turning around to face her angrily.

Her eyes widen in shock at my sudden outburst but she quickly regains her composure. I immediately regret getting angry at her and try and neutralize the situation.

"Sorry Q I shouldn't shout at you, just got a lot to deal with." I say apologetically laying my head back down on the cushions.

She smiles at me sadly and comes and sits next to me, lifting my legs into her lap "I know S. I think we need to talk about it and before you complain I'll remind you that it won't get sorted any other way." She says almost apologetically.

I bury my face further into the cushion. "I dn't w'na." I whine trying to avoid ever talking about Brittany again.

"San, you really need to talk to Tina." She says firmly. "You need answers to the question I know you have."

I sigh and lift my face from the cushions. "I really just want to forget about her." I say dismissively.

"San, you can't just forget about Tina, she's one of your best friends. And it might help to talk to Bri-" I cut Quinn of before she can finish.

"My life has nothing to do with Brittany anymore." I say harshly. "I might need to sort things out with Tina but I owe nothing to _**her**_."

Quinn sighs and looks at me sadly. "Santana I know you aren't with Brittany anymore but it's easy to see that you still have feeling for her. Even though you try to pretend you hate her it's still obvious. If you didn't she'd never have this effect on you." I look up at her face when she says this. "I know she hurt you and trust me I hate her for that, but maybe talking to her can get you closure so you can move on. Or maybe you could even build a friendship again. You don't owe _**her**_ anything, you owe it to _**yourself**_ and it will help you."

"Q, I really don't see that happening, I don't want to talk to her." I say sternly.

"I think you need to or you'll be miserable and alone forever." She counters.

"God I hate you." I sigh. "If I promise to talk to Tina will you drop the Brittany thing for a while?" I say trying to bargain with her.

"Fine, I guess I could get on board with that. As long as you deal with her eventually." She says decisively.

I sigh in defeat and nod. Sensing that the conversation has ended I stand up and walk away heading to my bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Quinn calls from behind me.

"To get dressed." I reply. "Tina's shift ends at 3 and I want to get this over with." I say defeated.

"Okay well I'm coming with you." She replies sternly.

"Q, I don't need a minder." I say and stare at her incredulously.

"I beg to differ." She replies. "Plus I need to know why Tina did it too."

"Seriously Q I can do this alone." I whine.

"I'm not going to let you though." She replies

"Fine. I guess it wouldn't be that bad to have you in my corner." I grumble.

I head to my room and get change. When I'm ready I walk out the door and find Quinn standing by the front door.

"Ready to go?" she asks.

I nod and we start the walk towards the daycare. The walk seems to be going incredibly fast and as we get closer I become more and more anxious. What is Tina going to say to me? What if I completely go off the handle again, I never want to get angry but sometimes Snix just takes over. Before I know it we arrive at the front door and I freeze unable to move close to it. I glance down at my watch and see its 3.10 so all the kids should be gone so at least there won't be spectators for this awkward situation. Quinn smiles at me reassuringly before pushing me forward through the door.

When we get inside I spot Tina sitting in a corner playing and chatting to two kids, a blonde girl and a dark haired boy. She doesn't notice us at first so I cough to get her attention. Tina turns to face us and when she spots us a terrified look appears in her eyes. She quickly turns back to the little girl and whispers something to her, the little girls eyes widen and she turn and stares at me excitedly. Tina whispers something else to her, the little girl nods but keeps her eyes focused on me and I start to get uncomfortable under the small blondes gaze. Tina stands up and walks over to us.

"I can't talk now San, I'm still working. Some of the kid's guardians are running late and I have to watch them. Can we do this later please?" She begs.

I look over at the kids in the corner and find them both staring at me now. Kids can be so creepy sometimes.

"We'll wait till they come." I say shortly before turning to head to some chairs on the opposite side of the room from the children.

I feel Tina suddenly grab my arm and I spin round face her.

"What the hell Tina." I whisper angrily yanking my arm from her grasp.

"Please just go back to the apartment. I'll come by later and we can talk. Please." She pleads.

The look on Tina's face is scaring me and I must not be the only one because Quinn joins the conversation.

"T what's going on?" Quinn asks worriedly.

"It's nothing, just please go home an-"

She's cut off when the door to the daycare swing open and two very familiar people step in chatting happily. Brittany and her boy toy. When they see us Brittany freezes and the man just looks confused sensing the tension in the air.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" I ask angrily not caring that there are children in the room. "Come for another play date has she Tina. Oh and look she brought her little fuck buddy" I spit venomously.

Quinn and Tina look at me shocked by my words but I just ignore them. The man beside Brittany's face scrunches in fear and the blondes face just turns red.

For the first time in four years I hear Brittany speak and it's not even aimed at me. "Adam I'm _**so**_ sorry, you should take Luke home." She says apologetically.

The man nods and the little boy runs' over from the back of the room and the older man grabs his hand.

"Bye Britt, bye Em, bye Tina" The little boy says as he's dragged out of the building by the older man oblivious to the situation.

"Oh come on Britt-Britt." I say viciously. "He didn't have to go. I mean we have _**so**_ much to talk about. I mean I want to know what makes him so much better than me." I sneer. I don't know where all this anger came from but I can't seem to control it.

"San." Quinn says from my side. "Maybe you should try to calm down." She says gripping my arm to keep me grounded.

"No Q, we came here for answers so let's get them." I snarl.

Brittany ignores me and turn to Tina. "Tina, could you take Emily outside please." She asks.

I'm starting to get pissed that Brittany has made no effort to talk to me yet but is just talking to everyone else around me. Tina nods and starts to make her way over to the little girl.

I shout to stop her. "No Tina needs to stay here."

"San, you need to stop shouting in front of the kid. She looks terrified." Quinn begs.

I look over at the little girl and see what Quinn was saying was true, the little girl has a petrified look on her face and tears were slowly running out her eyes. I felt guilty for a second but it doesn't last. I didn't give a fuck about this kid. Her parents could deal with her later. She wasn't my problem. I turn to look at Brittany and she finally meets my eyes.

"Well Brittany, I'm waiting." I say roughly.

"Santana, I know your angry but please let someone take Emily outside." Brittany says. It's the first time she's spoken directly to me and my heart nearly melts when she says my name.

"Why the fuck do you care? She's not your problem!" I say angrily. Why was she obsessed with this kid, sure I shouldn't be scaring her but it's not really Brittany's problem.

"Santana she is my problem because…" She pauses mid-sentence and I just stare at her confused. She takes a breath and starts again. "She's my problem because she's my daughter."

I take in her words and just stare at her dumbstruck. I look over at the little girl, really seeing her for the first time and that's when I notice it. The little girl is basically a mini Brittany, except she has more tanned skin and chocolaty brown eyes. I real back in shock as the realization hits me.

Brittany has a daughter.

All the anger suddenly evaporates from my body and I'm left feeling numb.

"Y-you have a d-daughter?" I stutter out.

My mind is reeling from all the thoughts rushing through it and I have no idea where to start. Did this mean Brittany had moved on after me and started a family with that guy? Wasn't she even hurt by our break-up? I look at the small blonde again trying to think were to start. That's when I realize she looks at least three years old.

"How old is she?" I ask urgently.

"She's three and a half." Brittany says quietly.

I quickly do the math in my mind and the answer I come to leaves me heart broken.

"But that means you were pregnant when we were together. You cheated on me?" I say tears threatening to spill down my face. How had I gone from the hulk to a near blubbering mess in less than two minutes?

"Santana it's really complicated, I can't go into it in front of Emily." She says sadly glancing at the little blonde girl.

"Fine." I need answers so there's only one solution. "Tina, Quinn. Take Emily outside." I say demandingly. The little girl's name feel's weird coming from my mouth.

"San I don't know if-" I cut Quinn off.

"Just take her outside. Please." I beg turning to face them. I try and silently covey to Quinn that I need answers and Brittany won't talk in front of the kid so she has to go.

"Okay San, we'll leave you guys to it." Tina says. "I'll take Emily home, call me if you need me." she says to Brittany and the tall blonde nods in return. "Em, come with me honey." she says crouching down and holding her arms out.

The little girl runs over to her quickly and jumps into her embrace. Tina lifts her up and rests her on her waist. Just as they're about to walk out door the little girl turns and stares at me warningly.

"If you hurt my mommy I'll go all Lima Heights." She says, glaring at me fear still evident on her face.

Tina chuckles and leads a confused looking Quinn out through the front door.

"Did she just….." I say staring after the little girl not knowing how to finish the sentence.

"Yeah." Brittany says looking down at the floor.

I snap back to reality and remember I'm here for a reason. "Brittany," she looks up and out eyes lock onto each other "you need to explain. I am really confused over here. I'm sorry I got so angry, I just want answers."

"It's fine, really. I know I hurt you. I deserved it." She says looking back at the floor "It's all really complicated and I made some bad choices." I nod my head in understanding urging her to continue. "Santana, a lot happened when you were gone in senior year." She starts dejectedly. "A month before you got back I went to a party and got really drunk. The next day I woke up nearly naked in a stranger's bed." She breathes out shakily as she finishes.

I don't know how I'm supposed to react to this, is she telling me she had drunken sex with some guy and got pregnant. She had sex with a guy and fell in love with him. I don't understand what she is trying to tell me.

"That doesn't explain anything. Are you're trying to tell me you had a one night stand and got pregnant?" I say hesitantly.

"No." She starts shakily. "I'm trying to tell you that I got… I was… he… he raped me." She whispers out. My eyes widen as she says this. She was _**raped**_? Anger takes over my body again but this time it's for a different reason. "I tried to deny what it really was until recently. I tried to convince myself it was a one night stand gone wrong. But I talked to Tina and she showed me that the guy had crossed a line."

I stand there shocked, why hadn't she told me about this back then? I could have helped her deal with it. We could have gotten through it together.

"Brittany I'm sorry that happened to you." I say softly "But that still doesn't explain a lot of the stuff that happened." I say slightly annoyed because I just want more answers, I need to know all of what happened.

"I know, sorry I'll keep going. Okay so basically everything turned to crap before you got home on the day I left you." I wince at her words, that day still hurt me a lot. "The first thing that happened was I got a call from that bar saying that you got the singing job, I was so excited for you." She says with a smile.

I remember that job, I'd got fired from it my first night because I couldn't sing. Luckily Jackson had got me another job but I still haven't really sung since then. I couldn't sing because it reminded me of the days in Glee club and every time I thought of Glee club there was Brittany standing beside me. It had become too painful so I had given up.

"About five minutes after that I got a call from the doctor's. Remember how I'd been feeling really ill." I nod. "Well I'd gone to the doctors before and they'd done some blood tests. That morning they called and told me I was pregnant. I freaked out, you know? What was I supposed to do? So I did what anybody in my situation would and called my parents. To make a long story short, they wanted me to get an abortion; I wouldn't, so they cut me off."

My eyes widen at this. Brittany's parents had left her? Why didn't I know this, why didn't anyone know this. They must have kept it pretty quiet because no one I'd talked to in Lima knew about it.

"After that you came home and found me on the floor. I panicked and I didn't know what to do. Then I made a decision. I wasn't going to drag you down with me for my own stupid mistake so instead I broke your heart and left."

She finishes and locks eyes with me once again. I can see the shimmer of unshed tears in her eyes and for a moment I forget all the past and just want to hug her, but then reality comes crashing back and I keep my stance not moving towards her.

"Okay." I say shakily "So there was no other guy? And you're not with that Adam guy?"

"No there's no one else." She replies firmly.

I take in a breath and let the situation sink in. "I would have helped you. With the baby I mean. I would have stayed with you. We would have got through it together. Instead though you decided to abandon me and break my heart." I say anger in my voice.

"I know you would have stayed." She says calmly. "I didn't want to trap you though and at the time it seemed like it would be best for both of us if I just disappeared and let you live out your dreams."

"'Let me live out my dreams'" I mimic my voice rising with anger. "You wanted to let me 'live out my dreams', how was I supposed to do that when you had just crushed my heart? Don't you understand Brittany? I couldn't live out my dreams without you because in every stupid one I had, you were there standing beside me. I thought you were my soulmate! You were my biggest dream; spending the rest of my life with you, but you just disappeared and ruined it all!" I say shouting at her now.

"Santana I'm so sorry. I know I made the wrong decision now but I can't change the past even if I wanted to." She apologizes.

"Why did you think that would ever be the right choice in the first place! You ruined my life!" I yell. "How could you be that stupid!"

Suddenly the blondes face contorts in rage and she walks up so we are about a meter apart, Ocean blue eyes lock with mine.

"You have no right to call me stupid!" She says sternly. "I made a bad decision, everyone does at some point. But for god's sake Santana I did it for you! Sure I broke your heart but have you stopped to think what I went through." I shrink back as she continues to yell at me. "I was pregnant while being heartbroken and alone. I had virtually no money, no family and no friends. I moved to a new town and the only person I talked to was my 70 year old neighbor who didn't hear what I said most of the time. I had to work through my entire pregnancy and only stopped when I went into labor on my way to work. I only got to spend four weeks at home with my baby girl before I had to leave her with my elderly neighbor and work again. I couldn't afford the basic baby stuff so had to make do with second hand crap or improvised stuff. My life was torture sometimes and at one point I worked three jobs and basically never saw my own daughter. Life hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns for me since we broke up Santana; in fact it's been living hell most of the time. The only things that made any of it worth it were my beautiful baby girl and the thought that you were somewhere making something of your life. You chose to give up when I left, you could have kept going. I was just as heartbroken as you Santana but I kept fighting, I refused to wallow in self-pity even though my heart was aching every single day!" Her breaths are ragged as she finishes and I just stare at her dumbstruck.

Brittany takes a deep breath and continues calmer that before. "I know I hurt you Santana and I will be forever sorry for that, but you can't put the blame for everything that's happened in your life on me. I was just trying to spare you and yeah I made the wrong choice but there is nothing I can do to change that now. We either move on and try to be friends or part ways forever, it's up to you."

She looks at me expectantly and I just look at her not knowing what to say.

"I-I understand you thought you were doing the right thing back then." I start hesitantly. "But that doesn't just erase all the pain you caused me. I can't just move on and pretend none of it happened."

"That's not what I'm suggesting. I'm saying we should sort out what happened between us together." She corrects me.

"I don't know. I need time to think." I say uncertainly.

"I can give you time." She says reassuringly.

"Okay." I reply.

We stand there in silence staring at each other until she looks down at her watch then back up at me.

"I should get home to Emily, she'll be worried. Tina has my number if you want to talk." She says and then turns around and walks out, not even waiting for a goodbye.

I stand in the middle of the room alone paralyzed, what am I supposed to do now?

* * *

**A/N: The Brittana reunion has happened (kind of) :) It wasn't all happy and rainbow's, in fact it was pretty sad, they still have a lot to deal with though but that doesn't mean they won't get there in the end. The truth is out there so what happens next is up to fate (or me :P). As always thanks for reading and I'd love it if you could send some reviews or PM's my way, they give me writing inspiration :D**

**(p.s. I hope you all survive this week's Glee episode to see my next update :P)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey I'm back. Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews I got on the last chapter they were all amazing and I love hearing what you all think. Sorry this chapter took longer than usual especially after the last chapters drama but it's my course works due dates at the moment and due to my procrastination I've had loads of work to do. I also have exams in January so I might slow down a bit to study and stuff but will defiantly try to get a chapter out once a week. This chapter is kind of fillery and short but I wanted to at least give you something this week.**

**tinygleek: The San and Em meeting will come soon! :)**

**xannaxmurderx: I know, I feel I kinda made Santana a bit overemotional here :P**

**colorbars: Thank you for your review. I understand that Santana had an annoying reaction and I wanted to write it that way as I was trying to show that she was so overwhelmed and shocked by Britt being back that she totally freaked out and acted irrationally. Brittany's reaction to the rape and Santana's reaction to finding out about the rape have not been dealt with fully yet and there will be more exploration of that in future chapters.**

**HeyaBrittana95: Thank you so much I'm glad you liked it :)**

**guest: Here's your update. Sorry for the delay.**

**CharmURAngel: Thanks for the review and I'm glad you liked Brittany standing up for herself in the chapter.**

**IHateBram: Thank you so much I love reading your reviews. I'm really pleased to hear you liked the character development and thank you so much for your compliment, it's amazing to hear people like my writing.**

**courtneynr15: I know the chapters are shorter but it does mean you get more regular updates than if they were 10,000ish words. Also the length just adds to the suspense as you wait for new chapters :P**

**MandyJai13: ****I'm glad you like the way the story is going so far and hope you like the Brittana development in future.**

**So on with the story, any mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to glee or any other products or places mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Brittany's POV

By the time I get to the apartment I'm exhausted, talking to Santana had taken a lot out of me. I understand why she's angry at me but I really just want to try and sort things out between us. I understand I hurt her and she doesn't trust me anymore but I want to fix things so we can try going back to how our friendship used to be. I want to be around her again. She like a drug, now I've seen her again I never want to let go, but I don't want to push her though so I'll back off until she reaches out to me.

When I swing the door open I hear a squeal and am hit by a flying body.

"Mommy! Are you okay?" Emily asks concerned as she grips onto my legs.

I chuckle at her adorableness and detach her arms so I can bend down and pick her up, holding her tightly in my arms.

"I will be baby." I say with a half-smile.

The little girl nods cautiously then snuggles her face into the crook of my neck. I immediately feel more relaxed and sigh in relief. Emily always seems to make things better. We're interrupted from our moment when I hear a voice speak.

"I hope it's okay that I'm here." I look up and find Quinn standing by the couch. "Tina explained everything." She says hesitantly and I nod. "I'm still pissed that you hurt Santana so much but I understand why you did it now. You need to know it doesn't excuse for what you said to her though." She says nervously fiddling with her fingers.

"It's fine Quinn I'm still pissed at me for what I said." I say reassuringly and she looks up and my eyes lock with her Hazel ones. "I know what I did was wrong, but I hope one day you can forgive me and maybe we can be friends again."

She nods and I can see a hint of longing on her face.

"I needed you back then too Britt. I didn't want to stop talking to you. I didn't want to hurt Santana's feelings though." She says gloomily.

"I understand what you did Quinn." I say comfortingly. "I needed to just disappear for everyone's sake."

Quinn looks down at the floor nervously. "I really missed you Britt." She says looking almost guilty.

"I missed you too Quinn." I say earnestly and smile at her holding out my free arm. "Get over here."

Quinn chuckles and walks over and I pull her in and crush her against my side. She relaxes against me and wraps her arms around me and Emily.

"Am I invited to this group hug or is it blondes only." I hear Tina tease from the kitchen doorway.

Me and Quinn giggle and Quinn looks up to face Tina. "T get your Asian ass over here." Quinn jokes.

Tina laughs and walks over to us, carefully wrapping her arms around Emily, Quinn and me. We stand like that for a moment and when we finally break apart Emily remains in my arms. Tina and Quinn move to sit down on the couch and I walk over to the armchair and sit with Emily in my lap.

"Did Santana hurt you mommy? Cause I'll go all Lima Heights if she did." Emily says seriously.

"No baby." I reassure her.

"Promise." She say's holding out her pinky.

"Yeah I promise." I say as I wrap my pinky around her smaller one.

Quinn laughs and I look over at her. "I have to say Britt you've kinda created a mini Santana there." She says as she points to Emily.

I notice the smile suddenly falls from Emily's face and she snuggles further into my chest.

"Are you okay baby?" I ask concernedly.

"I don't wanna be like Santana" She mumbles sadly. "She's scary."

I look down at the girl in my lap with sad eyes. She'd always idolized Santana and the first time she actually met her had not gone well. I can understand why she would be scared but Santana's not usually like that. She's usually a sweet caring person when it comes to me. Sure she can be rough with other people but not normally with me, though that has probably changed now. It makes me sad to think that Emily will have bad memories of Santana stuck in her head forever now. Emily should only know the amazing side of Santana. I stroke the little girls hair and try and think of something that will comfort her.

"Baby, remember I hurt her first." I remind the little girl.

"You say that doesn't mean we can be horrible back." She says determinedly.

"I know baby, usually you should just ignore peoples mean words. Santana didn't mean it though, and I'm sure she's sorry." I say trying to ease her worry.

Emily crosses her arms across her chest "I still don't like her. She's mean." She says unwaveringly.

"Emily," I say uncrossing the little girls' arms. "Santana is a good person. She was just having a bad day. Everyone deserves a second chance right. If she's mean when you meet her again then you can not like her then, okay?"

Emily's about to respond but before she can respond Tina cuts in.

"Does that mean you and Santana sorted things out." She asks expectantly. "If Emily's going to meet her again." She explains.

"I don't really know." I reply uncertainly. "We talked and I think everything's out in the open now. We know how each other feel. I told her if she wants to be friends we can try but the choice is hers and she said she needed time to think, so I'm giving her time."

"Okay, that sounds fair." Tina replies and stands up. "I think we should go check on her though. Make sure she's okay." I nod. "I'll call you later."

"Sure, it's probably a good idea to check on her." I note.

"Come give me a hug goodbye Em." Tina say's cheerily holding her arms out for the little girl.

Emily excitedly jumps off my lap and run's over to Tina's open embrace and wraps her arms around the small brunette's neck, hugging her tightly.

"Bye T." She says forlornly then let's Tina go. She then moves over to stand in front of Quinn and smiles up at her charmingly. "It was nice to meet you Quinn." She says cutely, and then wraps her arms around Quinn's legs. Quinn looks shocked for a second before an adoring smile crosses her face and she looks down at the small blonde and strokes her head affectionately.

"It was nice to meet you too Emily." She says sweetly.

Emily lets go of Quinn and runs back to me, jumping into my lap. Quinn and Tina make their way over to the front door. They open it and I shout after them as they leave.

"Bye Quinn, bye Tina"

"Bye Britt." They say simultaneously as they walk out and shut the door behind them.

Emily turns to me and smiles up at me happily.

"Mommy, I like Tina and Quinn, there cool." Emily chirps.

"Yeah they are baby." I reply pleased, I just hope she'll feel the same way about Santana if they ever meet again.

Santana's POV

I arrive home to find the apartment empty. I quickly realize Quinn must have gone with Tina to Brittany's place so exhaustedly collapse onto the couch and let my thoughts take over. I can't decide whether to try being friends with Brittany or not. There is a part of me telling me to run like the wind and never look back. But there is also the part that remembers how amazing me and Brittany had been together, even as just friends. I miss the way everything was easy with her but that doesn't just erase the memories of the pain she caused me. I want to be her friend and I wish I could just forget the terrible memories I had but I can't and I think there always going to make things difficult between us. I'm also scared that if we try become friends it'll develop into something more and I don't know if that's something I'd ever want again. I don't want to leave myself in a position where she can just break my heart again. I'm disrupted from my musings when I hear the door to the apartment open and people walk in.

"Sanny you here?" Quinn shouts, I inwardly groan when I hear this, she only calls me Sanny when she's drunk or she thinks I'm about to break down.

"In the living room." I shout back reluctantly.

"Hey Sanny you okay?" Quinn asks gently as she enters the room.

"I'm fine Q, you don't need to baby me. I talked to Brittany and I know everything. I just need time to process it all now okay." I reply in annoyance.

"Sure, that's fine." She speaks calmly.

Tina goes and sits on the loveseat while Quinn sits next to me and I swivel on the couch and place my head in her lap. She starts fiddling with my hair subconsciously and we sit there in a calm quietness for a while. After about ten minutes I can't resist asking the question burning on my tongue anymore.

"What's her daughter like?" I whisper nervously.

Quinn and Tina both smile at me lovingly and Tina comes and joins us on the couch, lifting my legs and placing them on her lap.

"She's so cute." Tina coos. "She's like the perfect mix of you and Brittany, she even has your eyes."

"That's biologically impossible." I say half in fear and half in anguish. I wish Brittany had had my child, then we might not have broken up. But she didn't so there was no point on dwelling on it.

"Yeah it is." Tina says gently. "Santana, it may not be biology but fait laid a hand and created this wonderful human being who is the perfect mix of both of you. I know that's hard for you to hear since Brittany and you aren't together anymore and you're still angry at her. I know you've never really met Emily so you probably won't understand but it's true."

"Tina's right S. That little girl is amazing. I don't want to pressure you into your decision but I think it would be good for you to be around her and Brittany." Quinn says tenderly.

I nod sadly at Quinn's words. "I know it'd probably help but I'm just still so angry at her. I just don't know what to do." I say as a single tear run's my cheek.

"Honey," Tina sooths "that's fine, it's your decision and you can take your time. We'll be here for you no matter what you decide."

I let some more tears run down my face and Quinn gently wipes them away with the back of her hand.

"I think I want her in my life again." I say almost inaudibly, surprised by my own words. "But what if she hurts me again? Plus I'm still so angry at her I might hurt her and I don't want to do that."

"Sweetie it's okay to be angry at her. I really don't think she'll hurt you again and you would never intentionally hurt her." Quinn says honestly. "But if Brittany does hurt you again we'll go all Lima heights on her." She chuckles trying to lighten the situation.

I suddenly remember Brittany's daughter's words in the daycare.

"I still can't believe Emily said that to me." I giggle my mood lifting.

"I can, you wouldn't believe how much of your attitude she has. It doesn't help that Brittany told her all these stories about you and now she wants to be just like you." Tina laughs.

"That's probably not a good thing." I joke but there is a hint of seriousness in my tone.

"It is." Tina says softly. "She has your best traits San. She's smart and fiercely loving. She's even grumpy in the mornings, it's adorable really. She's also a lot like Brittany though she has this way of seeing everything good in the world and is kind."

"She almost sounds too good to be true." I joke.

"She might be but to be honest I've only known her for a week so I might be seeing things through rose tinted glasses." Tina replies.

I think about her words for a minute before I reply.

"I want to meet the kid when you describe her like that, but I know that means I'll have to talk to Brittany." I say sadly. "And I'm afraid if I'm anywhere near her I might just explode at her again. I don't know where all that anger came from, it's like I've been storing it up for the last four years and it all came out at once."

"Honey, you never really dealt with your break up with Brittany so in a way your right, the anger has been festering inside you and you've been refusing to deal with it." Tina reasons.

"I just didn't want to remember what happened." I say gloomily.

"I know but now you have a chance to deal with how you feel and Brittany might even be able to help you." Tina muses.

"I think I want to try and be friends with her, if it means I get to meet Emily I'm willing to try." I decide.

Secretly I'm just as happy at the prospect of being around Brittany again but the nagging fear of her hurting me is keeping me from vocalizing these feelings.

"If that's what you want that's great San." Quinn encourages.

"How do I stop being angry at her though?" I ask.

"Honey I really don't know. She hurt you so badly that I don't think you can just 'stop' being angry. You need to deal with how she made you feel and talk to her about it so that you can maybe let go of some of the hurt you feel." Tina reasons.

"She said she was hurting just as badly but if that's true she'd never have left me in the first place or have come looking for me to apologize after we broke up." I say sadly.

"I think she was hurting Santana, but she'd just gone through a traumatic event and was trying to pretend it never happened. I think she thought if she told you the truth it would make what happened to her real and she wasn't ready to deal with that at the time." Tina explains.

"So she really was… she got… someone… you know." I sigh dejectedly not being able to bring myself to actually say the words out loud.

"I know what you're asking and yeah, that's kind of what she told me. She said it was a one night stand but from the way she described it she wasn't willing to sleep with the guy and when I brought up the possibility of it being rape she broke down like she always knew that's what it really was but was just trying to lie to herself about it." Tina says regretfully.

When I register Tina's words I can't help the anger that builds up silently inside of me. The thought that someone could ever hurt Brittany that way makes me so angry. She is one of the most kind and caring people in the world and for someone to just stomp all over that and treat her in such a demeaning way makes me want to kill someone. I can't believe that she'd force herself to go through it alone. I would have been by her side helping her and supporting her if she had just told me about what happened, we would have got through it together just like how we gotten through every other crappy thing that had happened in our lives. Why didn't Brittany just talk to me? I would have helped her. I would have tracked down the scum who hurt her and gone all Lima Heights on him. I had loved her more than anyone in this world and the thought that she went through so much pain alone makes me mad, not only at the guy who did it but at myself. How could I not have seen that something like that had happened to her? Had I been that wrapped up in myself that I didn't even notice. I promised myself after not noticing Brittany's failing grades in our senior year I'd pay more attention to her but I must have failed if I hadn't noticed that something so serious.

"Why wouldn't tell me about it. I was her girlfriend. We slept together after it and nothing even seemed to be wrong, how is that even possible?" I ask confusedly.

"I think she managed to convince herself that nothing was wrong." Tina says sadly.

I nod and look down at my hands fidgeting in my lap. A hush falls over the three of us and we sit there all wrapped up in our own thought until Quinn finally breaks the silence.

"What are you going to do now?" Quinn asks hesitantly.

"I'm going to try talk to her. I'm going to tell her I know what she went through must have been so hard on her and I'm glad she explained but I can't just forgive her for what she said, she might not have meant it but I believed she thought that for four years. We have to take things slowly and try and repair our friendship." I say determinedly.

"Okay. That sounds fair I guess." Tina agrees. "Do you want me to give you her number?"

"No, I want to talk to her face to face." I say firmly.

"Why don't you come with me to work on Monday then and you can talk to her after she drops Emily off?" Tina suggests.

"Yeah that'd be great T." I say gratefully, smiling up at her from my lying position on the couch.

We sit there in silence for a while until the memories of the last few days surface and I realize I have something to do.

"Tina."

"Yeah." She replies.

"I'm really truly sorry for exploding at you on Wednesday." I apologize sincerely.

"It's okay S. I understand why you did it and I'm not gonna hold it against you. At least now I'll never do anything to piss you off again, Snix is freaking scary." She jokes while Quinn and I laugh.

"Yeah. Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry." I tease.

Once I stop laughing I stand up of the couch and stretch in front of the sofa. Glancing at my watch I realize it's only 8 but I feel so exhausted I just want to go to bed.

"Well it's been great chatting but I'm exhausted so I'm gonna go to bed." I say.

"Okay S." Tina says.

I walk out the living room and head to my room and when I get there I collapse onto the bed too exhausted to change yet. I lay thinking about what I want to say to Brittany when I see her and come up with a speech to tell her everything I need to. I recite the words I want to say in my head and they slowly send me off into sleep.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading and send me and thoughts you have via review or PM's, they inspire me to write. I hope you still stick with me after that subpar writing and plot in this chapter (hey Glee does that and still has followers so why not me (sorry I'm in a bitchy mood due to exams :P))**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey guys I'm back :) Thank you for all the reviews, favourites and follows I got on the last chapter there all appreciated so much. Sorry this took a while, I'm home for the holidays and trying to revise so things are a bit hectic :S**

**tinygleek: Thank you so much for the review :) I'm glad you're looking forward to the friendships in the story and I hope you like the direction I take them in.  
**

**MandyJai13: Thank you :D Glad you're looking forward to the rest of the story. Thank you so much for the luck, I hope I do well to :P**

**20kels: Thank you for the review :) I hope you like how I've decided to handle the Em/San relationship in this chapter.**

**So on with the story. Any mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any other places or products mentioned in thus story.**

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Brittany's POV

The weekend has passed quickly and I still haven't heard anything from Santana. I've spent my time hanging out with Emily trying to keep my mind off of her but it didn't really help. I know she said she needed time but the wait is killing me. Emily hasn't mentioned Santana once since Friday and she's seemed quieter than usual. I think she's still a bit freaked out by what happened at the daycare and I don't know what to do to make her feel better. I just want to erase that day from her memory so everything is better for her.

Were on our way to daycare on Monday morning and I notice Emily is looking nervous. I can't help but worry when I see her like this, Emily is usually one of the most confident people ever and this is so out of character. I pull her hand to stop her walking and crouch down in front of her so our eyes are level.

"Emily, are you okay?" I ask softly stroking the little girls arm gently.

The little girl just break's our eye contact and looks down at the floor scuffing her feet nervously.

"Baby, you seem quiet. If something is wrong you can talk to me about it." I continue softly.

She looks up and I can see a shimmer of tears in the little girl's eyes. "I'm scared." She whispers.

"Of what baby?" I coo as I pull her forward so I'm hugging her tightly.

"Santana was scary in the daycare. I'm frightened to go back." She mumbles nervously.

My heart breaks at this. I never want Emily to be scared of anything but for her to be scared of someone I loved so much is just terrible.

"Baby Santana won't even be at the daycare today." I say reassuringly. "You love playing with the people at daycare. Don't let one bad thing ruin it for you."

"It was scary." She repeats sadly.

"It might have been, but daycare isn't. It wasn't the daycare that was scary it was what happened in it, and that'll never happen again. Plus you'll get to see Luke if you go." I say enthusiastically.

"I guess…" She murmurs pulling away slightly from my embrace so she can look into my eyes.

"Remember what I told you before you started, if you ever don't like daycare we'll find you a new one. I think you should give it a chance today though." I encourage.

She looks at me hesitantly before sighing. "Okay." She gives in. "But if I don't like it I can stop?"

"I promise baby." I say firmly. "We need to hurry though, we're late."

I stand up and reach for her hand and we continue our walk to daycare quicker than before. When we get there we're ten minutes late and I hurry Emily through the front door and go to head over to Tina who is standing behind the desk. I'm stopped though when I notice that Emily has frozen behind me clutching tightly to my hand. I look around at her and see her staring at something so follow her gaze and find Santana sitting on one of the chairs at the side of the room looking at us nervously.

I turn back to Emily and kneel down in front of her, putting my hands on her hips reassuringly.

"Em, why don't you go and tell Tina you're here then go play with the other kids." I suggest calmly.

Emily just shakes her head frantically and launches forward wrapping herself around me tightly.

"You said she wouldn't be here." She whimpers into my shoulder.

"I know baby, I didn't think she would." I comfort her, stroking her head reassuringly.

I notice Tina and Santana both staring at us questioningly and I stand up with Emily still wrapped tightly around me and make my way over to Tina.

"Hey T, I need to ask you a favor." Tina looks at us and nods unsurely. "Can you please tell me somewhere I can take Em to calm her down? She'd just a bit worked up." I say quietly.

"What's wrong?" Tina asks worriedly.

"She's just a bit surprised to see Santana again that's all." I whisper trying to make sure Santana doesn't hear.

"Okay, sure." The brunette says uncertainly. "There's a small cloakroom round the back, you can use that." She says pointing to a door beside her desk.

"Thanks T." I say gratefully as I make my way over to the room. "We shouldn't take too long."

Santana's POV

I watch Brittany and Emily walk through the door heart-broken. She was scared of me. Emily was terrified by me. Brittany may have tried to hide it but it was clear from the way the little girl had stared at me. I had been exited all weekend to properly meet the little girl that had won Tina and Quinn's hearts and when I finally do I nearly reduce her to tears. I notice Tina staring at me pityingly and I stand up and head for the front door.

"Santana, where are you going?" She shouts worriedly from behind me.

"Home." I reply gloomily.

"San, wait. " I hear her shout and then my arm is grasped and I'm swung around. "Santana, just wait okay? Let Brittany talk to her." She says pleadingly.

"Maybe I should just go." I say desolately. "I don't want to upset Emily anymore when she comes back in."

"Why don't you just wait outside? You still want to talk to Brittany right?" Tina asks hopefully.

"Yeah." I reply.

"Then wait outside and when she's done with Emily I'll send her out and you can talk." Tina says firmly.

I nod in submission and walk outside finding a bench in the small garden out the front and collapsing down onto it and wait for Brittany to appear.

Brittany's POV

I'd managed to calm Emily down and we were now sitting on the ground in the cloakroom talking and trying to sort things out between her and Santana.

"Baby you really don't need to be scared of her. She would never hurt you and she'll never shout like that in front of you again." I say, realizing I'm making promises I probably shouldn't. "She made a mistake. I thought we talked about this, everyone deserves a second chance."

"But mommy she was so mad. She said all those bad words." She says miserably.

"I know baby but remember the Santana from the stories I told you." Emily nods hesitantly. "You loved her and that's the real Santana. I promise she didn't mean to scare you." I continue trying to reassure her.

Emily seems a little less scared of Santana after the mention of the old Santana that she used to love so much from the stories.

"Santana is an amazing person and if you give her a chance you'll see that baby." I encourage.

Emily looks at me in thought for a moment before she speaks again.

"Do you miss her?" She asks curiously.

I pause for a minute trying to think up an answer and then realize there no point in lying to Emily.

"Yeah baby, I do." I sigh sadly resting my hand on her knee.

Emily nods sadly in return and we sit there in silence for a while gathering out thoughts.

"Why don't we head back now so you can go play and we'll talk more later?" I suggest.

Emily nods more certainly this time and we stand up and I hold her hand. I stick my head through the door to make sure Santana's had the sense to leave and when I don't spot her I pull Emily through the door behind me. I walk her to the playroom door and bend down and hug her.

"Have fun baby. I love you." I say affectionately kissing her forehead.

"Love you too." She replies before running off and joining the other kids.

I stand up again and look over at Tina and see the guilty look in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry. If I'd known Emily would react like that I would have never suggested to Santana to come." She apologizes. "She just wanted to talk to you face to face and it seemed like the easiest way."

"It's fine Tina, you didn't know." I say gloomily. "Did Santana go home?"

"No. She wanted to but I managed to convince her to wait outside for you. She felt really bad about scaring Emily." She says.

"Okay, I better go talk to her then." I reply determinedly.

I walk to the front door slightly pissed off. Why did Santana think she could just show up whenever she wanted? I know I wanted to see her but this is my kid's daycare and Tina's workplace, she can't just turn up and cause a scene again. She'd scared Emily too, I know she hadn't meant to but she had. Didn't she realize we need to sort things out between us before she can go anywhere near Emily again. As I head outside I'm fully prepared to give Santana a piece of my mind. That's until I spot her sitting on a bench with her head in her hands, body gently shaking with sobs. I look over at her sadly and carefully make my way over to her and sit on the furthest point on the bench from her. She must have noticed me sit down because as soon as I do she wipes her face and sits up straight trying to regain her composure. We sit there in silence for a moment before she finally speaks.

"I'm so sorry Brittany." She says miserably. "I never meant to scare her. If I had known who she was I would have never shouted like that in front of her in the first place. I wish I could take it back."

"I'm not going to tell you it's okay because it isn't." Her head snaps to face me when I say this and I see her puffy cheeks and red eyes for the first time. "You should never shout like that at anyone, especially in front of a child no matter who's they are. You obviously regret it now but that doesn't mean Emily will just forget what she saw." I say decisively. "I don't want to make you feel bad and I may be ruining whatever chance of friendship there is between us by demanding this but if you can't promise to never be like that around me or Emily again, I can't see this friendship working out. I need to do what's best for Emily she is everything to me and I can't see her hurt." I say firmly.

Santana looks into my eyes with her chocolate orbs shock evident in them. She thinks for a minute before nodding her head certainly.

"I promise. I never want to be like that again." She says determinedly.

"Good." I say more happily. "Now I'm done being a demanding a-hole, are you alright?" I ask comfortingly.

She laughs meekly and wipes the remaining tears from her face. "Yeah. I was just excited to see Emily after the way Tina had described her. When she looked so scared to see me, I just got sad."

"Well if it makes it any better I'm happy to see you." I say smiling at her while she timidly smiles back.

"That does make me feel a little better." She chuckles quietly, almost as if she didn't really want me to hear.

"So does you being here mean you want to try and be friends then?" I ask hopefully.

"I think so. I did have this whole speech planned but I've kinda forgotten it now. We'd have to take it slow though. I don't mean to sound harsh but I still don't forgive you for what you said back then and I think we need to talk about it more and sort everything out properly without any screaming involved. Basically I'm still a bit of an emotional mess." She jokes.

"You're not an emotional mess." I say sweetly. "And I understand you not forgiving me straight away, it'll take time and I get that but I want to show you how much I regret what I said. If it's slow you want it's slow you'll get."

"Good. I was thinking maybe we could just start by chatting on the phone occasionally." She suggests.

I was hoping for a bit more than that but I'll take it. "That'd be great." I say enthusiastically.

"Cool, let's swap numbers then." She replies while pulling her phone out of her pocket and holding it out to me. I do the same and we both quickly type our numbers into each other's phone.

"I'll call you soon." She says and stands up. "I should probably go now, let you get back to… well I actually don't know what you do now." She says uncertainly.

"I'm a freshman in college." I reply happily. "I got a scholarship for NYU, that's why we moved here."

"That's great Brittany, I'm really happy for you." She says smiling but I can sense some sadness in her voice. "Well I'd better let you get to class then. Bye Britt."

"Bye San." I say as she walks away back into the daycare.

I can't help but grin to myself, it seems like things are going perfectly for the first time in my life for four years.

Santana's POV

I walk back into the daycare and spot Tina standing behind the desk typing at her computer. As I walk over she looks up and notices me and hurries out from behind the desk over to me.

"San, I don't want to sound mean but you really shouldn't be in here. If Emily sees you she might freak out again and I'm not sure I can deal with that without Britt." Tina says apologetically.

"Sorry I didn't think about that." I apologize. "I just wanted to tell you I talked to Brittany and we've agreed to try talking on the phone a bit and see how that goes."

"That's great San." Tina as she glances nervously towards the playroom.

"Yeah I really want to try… but I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling the hurt she caused me, it's not going to be easy." I say dejectedly.

"The best things in life never are." Tina says and I laugh.

"Oh look at you getting all cliché on me." I mock slapping her arm playfully.

"Shut up. You know I'm right." Tina defends sticking her tongue out at me.

"I know, you're always right." I laugh. "You're an amazing friend Tina and I really love you." I say earnestly.

"Love you too Sanny." Tina coos pulling me forward into a hug.

After a few minutes we pull apart and Tina starts to talk again.

"So do you know what you're going to do about Emily?" She asks cautiously placing a hand on my arm comfortingly.

"I don't really know. I want to get to know her but I have no idea how I'm supposed to get anywhere with her now she thinks I'm a monster. She seems like this amazing kid and I would love to get to know her. I just want to apologies to her and tell her I'm not evil." I say dejectedly.

I suddenly hear a voice coming from the other side of the room. "You're not evil."

I hastily turn around and look over and see Emily standing nervously in the doorway to the play area with a slightly scared look in her chocolate eyes. She walks a little further into the room but seems to want to remain a safe distance from me.

"You hurt my mommy but you not evil." The little girl says nervously looking up to meet my eyes. "You scary when you shout though."

I look at her stunned for a second before I reply to her.

"I'm sorry for shouting like that in front of you I never meant to do that." I apologize. "I never meant to hurt your mommy either."

The little girl moves further into the room and stands about five feet in front of me nervously scuffing her shoes on the ground. I try and smile reassuringly at her as she's obviously scared and to be honest I'm amazed by this little girl's bravery. If I'd seen an adult shout the way I had at her age I'd never want to go near them again but here she was trying to talk to me and actually comforting me slightly.

"Mommy said I should try talk to you again… but you scare me. And you might make her sad again." She asks looking up at me carefully.

"I'm not scary. I just got a little mad. That'll never happen again though. And I really don't want to hurt your mommy again." I say earnestly. "A lot of things happened between us that you probably won't understand but she hurt me a lot and I stupidly decided to hurt her back but now we're trying to fix things."

"Mommy said what happened. She said she hurt you and you told her to go." She retorts.

I stand there in shock after I hear her words. Brittany had really told Emily what had happened between us. I focus back on Emily and see her looking up at me expectantly.

"Yeah you're mommy hurt me." I respond.

"But you shouldn't be mean back." She counters sternly.

"I know." I respond admittedly.

"I can tell mommy misses you though." The little girl says looking at me sadly. "I see her crying sometimes. I decided that meant I need to try talk to you again cause mommy misses you… a lot."

The little girl's words nearly kill me. Brittany really missed me that much. All these years I thought she was fine without me but really she missed me too. I can't help but look in wonder at the little girl who ignored her own fear of me to try and talk to me so her mom and me could talk again.

"That's very smart." I compliment amazed by her matureness. "You are a little genius aren't you."

"That's what mommy says." She says with hesitant proudness the fear fading from her eyes.

"Well she's right." I agree smiling happily down at her.

I'm about to say more when Tina's voice interrupts me

"Em, why don't you go back to the playroom?" Tina suggests.

"Okay Tina." She nods and starts walking to the door but before she goes through she turns back to face me. "You're not that scary, maybe we can be friends. Bye Santana." She says waving as she goes out of sight.

"Bye Emily." I whisper, melting at the little girls words.

Brittany's POV

I'm hurrying down the street as I'm running late to pick Emily up from daycare as the teacher asked me to stay behind to talk about my scholarship requirements today. I glance at my watch and see it's twenty past three and break into a run to try and get to the daycare sooner. When I get there I rush through the door and spot Emily and Tina sitting at the side of the room chatting.

"I'm so sorry baby." I apologize as I rush over to Emily and Tina. "I'm sorry for being late Tina."

"It's fine me and Em had fun hanging out didn't we." Tina says and the little girls nods enthusiastically in agreement. "Next time you should call me and I'll take Emily back to mine to hang out so you don't have to rush." Tina suggests.

"Thanks for the offer Tina but you're roommates might cause a problem." I say regretfully.

"You mean Santana?" Emily pipes in.

"Yeah." I say surprised. "How do you know Tina lives with Santana baby?" I ask confusedly.

"Tina told me after we hung out with her earlier" Emily replies.

"Huh?" I say bewilderedly looking over at Tina.

Tina looks down guiltily. "I know Santana shouldn't have talked to her without you but Emily saw us talking and came and joined in." She says as an excuse.

"Santana said sorry so I talked to her just like you said." Emily says proudly.

I look at her dumfounded for a minute. This morning she was terrified of the Latina and now she seems fine, how did that happen?

"That's great baby." I say unsurely. "Want to go home now?" I ask.

Emily nods and runs over to me taking my outstretched hand and I turn and wave goodbye to Tina before making our way out of the daycare.

"I thought you were scared of Santana baby." I ask unsurely.

"I was. I heard her talking to Tina and she didn't seem that bad. When I talked to her she was sorry and seemed okay so I decided she's not scary." Emily explains plainly.

"That's good honey." I say encouragingly.

I'm glad Emily isn't scared of Santana. I means that maybe we can all hang out together. I love the idea of Santana and Emily getting along.

As we walk home I can't help but feel exited for what the future holds.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading and please leave a review or PM me, I love hearing what you think :D I'll try to get the next update out faster. I hope you all enjoy the end of the world :P**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hi guys. So on the last chapter I hit 50 reviews and 100 followers which is pretty awesome so thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed. I hope you are all having an awesome holiday and have had fun. So there is a bit of a time jump in this chapter so I'll just tell you that it's now around the third week in October 2017. **

**I had a lot of guest reviews on the last chapter so I've put the start of the reviews in the responses so you know what one I'm talking about and in future if guests could please put some kind of name on their reviews so there easier to respond to that'd be great, thanks :D**

**20kels: I'm pleased that you like the Santana/Emily stuff and I have some fluff planned for the two of them :)**

**Guest****: "nice chapter…" Thank you for your review and I'm glad you liked the whole Emily/Santana thing. I hope you like the rest of the story :)**

**Guest: "Love thiiiiiisssss…" Thank you so much! I hope you like this chapter too :D**

**GLEEk4Britanna: Here's your update :D I'm glad you like the pace, I didn't want to rush them into a relationship to quickly, as much as I love Brittana together that seemed unlikely to happen. Sorry I can't update everyday but I have been able to plan the future plots and am excited to see what you all think of where it will head :)**

**Guest: "I really…" Firstly thank you for your review :) I'm not done focusing on the rape plot and I understand what you're saying about it seeming like I'm glossing over it, I just didn't want every chapter to focus on it but I'm planning on it still playing a large part in the future plot but for now I wanted to focus on the development of their friendship. Santana does need to forgive Brittany and realize she's being stubborn and that's what the next few chapters will hopefully focus on. I agree with Santana needing to be all in and that's something that will be explored in future chapters.**

**HeyaBrittana95: Totally right about the name thing *facepalm*, I forgot I cut a section of this chapter out where Brittany tells Emily about that, sorry for the mistake :S I'm glad you like the pace, I didn't want to rush it too much :)**

**tinygleek: I'm glad you liked the Santana/Emily stuff and are looking forward to more of them in future. I hope you like where I take it :) **

**Grrrrs Randomness: Thank you so much, your review left me with a smile :D**

**VaRiNaBi: I'm glad you like the story! Here's your update :)**

**DaPhoenix: Thank you so much :D**

**Any who, back to the story. Sorry for any mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any products or places mentioned in this story.**

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Brittany's POV

The last three weeks had passed quickly and Emily and I are quickly settling into our new routines. Emily loves daycare and she and Luke have become inseparable which is fine with me as me and Adam have become close too so it was fun to hang out with the two of them. I've only seen Tina a few times out of work because she's been really busy and I haven't seen Quinn but I sometimes talk to her when she's been around Santana when she's called. Santana's called at least once every couple of days and we chat about stuff between us trying to find a way to let go of what happened in our past and get to know each other again. We've managed to sort out a lot of the bad stuff between us but things are still far from fixed and every so often one of us will say something that'll cause an awkward silence but usually it leads to us talking about the problem and trying to fix it so there's always an upside. I think she's slowly starting to feel more comfortable with me and she's hasn't acted angry towards me since the first time we saw each other again so that's a good sign. She talks to Emily on the phone sometimes too and the two of them seem to get on great. I really love the fact they are getting along, it feels like they should have always had each other. I really want to meet up with her but I don't want to push her so I've been let her dictate everything, never calling her but instead waiting for her to call. I know she wants to take things slowly but this feels like torture.

Class was fun today as me and Adam got paired up to work on some partnered choreography. We goofed around for a bit but when we got down to work I realized that Adam is actually an amazing choreographer and he had all these amazing ideas for our routine. I already knew he was a wonderful dancer and I'm pretty lucky to have been paired with him. He's also a pretty amazing friend and we managed to make the classes we were in together fun even though most of the time we were being pushed to the breaking point. The teachers at NYU really didn't hold back and sometimes I think they enjoy watching us suffer especially this Frederick Strain guy.

We are just warming down from class when a group of female dancers walk over to me and Adam.

"Hey you're Adam right." She says smiling at Adam. "And you're Brittany?" She asks looking at me for conformation.

"Yeah that's me." I reply cheerily giving her a half wave.

"Awesome, I'm Sadie." She introduces herself. "Me and some of the other dancers were going out clubbing tonight and we were wondering if you wanted to come." She says as she smirks flirtatiously at Adam.

"I can't sorry. I have a daughter to look after." I say apologetically. "But Adam might if you ask nicely." I say with a grin looking over at the man shifting nervously beside me.

"S-sorry, I-I ca-an't tonight-t" He stutters as he stares at the floor his face turning bright red.

"Shame, you would have been awesome arm candy for the clubs." The dancer jokes seductively. "Maybe another time, we'd love for both of you to come." She says as she walks off out of the class.

After she's walked away I look over at Adam and see his bright red face and it looks like he's about to pass out.

"Adam you seriously need to get over the shy boy act." I joke as I nudge his arm. "That girl was totally into you."

"I'm not really interested." He says evasively glancing down at his shoes.

"Is that because a certain hot Asian has caught your eye?" I joke.

Adam's whips his head up and is about to respond when a ringing from my pocket cuts him off. I smile apologetically at him before I pull my phone out my pocket and look at the screen. It's an unknown number so I hesitantly bring the phone up to my ear and press answer.

"Hello, Brittany Pierce's phone." I say.

"_Hey Britt it's Quinn. Tina gave me your number." _Quinn answers.

"Hey Quinn!" I reply enthusiastically. "What's up?" I ask.

"_Not much. I was wondering if you and Emily wanted to come out for dinner with me tonight? It's my treat."_ She asks.

"Yeah I'd love to! I'm sure Em would too." I reply excitedly. "Where were you thinking of going?"

"_I don't know what kinds of food do you and Emily like_?" Quinn asks.

"You can never go wrong with Italian." I reply happily.

"_Great! I know this awesome little Bistro. I'll come by your place at 5.30ish then?"_ Quinn proposes.

"Yeah that'd be perfect." I answer.

"_Okay. Bye Britt, see you later."_ Quinn says.

"Bye Quinn." I reply.

I pull the phone away from my ear and stuff it back into my pocket and turn back to Adam.

"Sorry about that. What where you going to say" I ask

"Nothing important." Adam says ambiguously. "We better head to the daycare soon though or we'll be late."

"Oh yeah. Let's go then." I reply.

We walk together to the daycare, chatting about our classes. We discuss this girl in our class who I swear is like a dancing Rachel Berry. What's even funnier is her name is Barbra and every time someone says her name I imagine Rachel ranting about how Barbra Streisand was a living goddess. All she does is talk about how she's destined for Broadway. To be honest I don't think she's even that good. Adam is definitely the best in our class but he's pretty quiet so no one really notices his dancing, they all notice his looks though.

We get to the daycare and Adam holds the door for me as we go in. As soon as we get through the door we hear voices shouting at us.

"Mommy! Adam!" Emily shouts as she runs and collides with my legs.

"Adam! Britt!" Luke shouts as he runs excitedly over to Adam.

"Hey there munchkins." I greet. "How was your day Em?"

Emily looks at me excitedly and holds her arms out silently asking me to pick her up. I bend down and pull her onto my hip and she snuggles into my chest.

"It was fun. Me and Luke sang with the teacher, she said I have a pretty voice." Emily rambles excitedly.

"That's great baby." I exclaim. "Hey I've got a surprise for you."

When I say this Emily's head shoots up to stare at me eagerly as she starts bouncing excitedly in my arms.

"What mommy!" She squeals excitedly.

"Well Quinn called and asked if we wanted to go to dinner with her. You wanna go?" I ask knowing what the response is going to be.

"Yeah!" She screams excitedly.

"Wow baby. Your full of energy today aren't you." I chuckle and spot Tina walking over to us. "Hey T what have you been sneaking into her juice box to make her this energetic." I joke.

"Wouldn't you love to know." Tina teases.

"Hey Tina." Adam greats and I look over at him and see a smitten look all over his face.

"Hi Adam." Tina replies.

"Well Luke and I need to go because we need to pick Maddy up from school." He says apologetically.

Maddy's Luke and Adam's 11 year old sister. I'd met her once when Adam had brought her to the park and she seemed like an awesome kid. She looked really different from Adam though and was tanned, short with turquoise eyes and blonde hair.

"Okay well I'll see you tomorrow." I reply.

"Bye Em. Bye Tina. Bye Britt." Luke shouts.

"Bye." Me, Emily and Tina shout back.

Once Luke and Adam were gone I looked over at Tina and see a grin plastered across her face. Her and Adam were so obvious. They both liked each other but were too shy to say anything about it.

"Oh my god Tina. Just tell him you like him already." I tease and she turns to face me her face turning bright red.

"Shut up Britt!" She wines and I laugh at her cuteness.

"Some girl totally tried to hit on him in class today. You might want to act soon before someone else scoops him up." I joke.

"Tina loves Adam!" Emily squeals excitedly.

Crap. I really shouldn't have said that in front of Emily. She has no filter and I can tell she's gonna accidentally tell Adam that Tina likes him, not that it's not obvious already. Tina looks at me angrily and I laugh and look down to meet Emily's eyes.

"No baby. I was just teasing." I say.

"Oh." Emily says disappointedly but that soon fades as she starts bouncing in my arms.

"Okay seriously Tina why does she have so much energy." I laugh as Emily wriggles around in my arms.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that I snuck her and Luke extra cookies at break time." Tina deadpans.

"Ah it all makes sense now." I laugh. "Em you need to calm down because I don't want to go out for dinner with Quinn if you're still bouncing off the walls."

Emily looks up at me wide eyed at the prospect of not getting to go out tonight but before she can speak Tina pipes in.

"You're going out with Q?" The small brunette asks.

"Yeah she called earlier to ask me and Em to dinner." I reply trying to get Emily to stop wiggling in my arms.

"Great, I know she's been meaning to call you she's just been really busy." Tina says laughing slightly as she watches me struggle with a sugar high Emily.

"Cool. Well me and Em better head home and see if we can burn some of this sugar off." I giggle finally giving up and placing Emily on the ground.

"All right. Bye Britt. Bye Em." Tina says as she hugs me and Emily.

"Bye T." Emily and I shout simultaneously as we head for the door.

* * *

When me and Emily get home we spend the rest of the afternoon dancing around the living room trying to burn of some energy and when 5.30 comes around Emily is sitting watching cartoons in a pretty summer dress she picked out as I quickly clean the kitchen. The doorbell suddenly rings and Emily excitedly jumps off the couch and runs over to the door and pulls it open.

"Hey Emily, you look pretty." Quinn greets grinning down at the small blonde.

"Thank you. You look pretty too." Emily says politely swinging on her tippy toes.

"Hey Quinn." I shout from the kitchen. "I'll be one minute."

"Hey Britt. No rush." Quinn replies.

I walk into the hall and see Quinn standing in the doorway in a pretty burgundy knee length dress with a cream cardigan on top. Her style really hasn't changed much since high school.

"You look awesome Britt." Quinn compliments. I shrug sheepishly and glance down at my dark skinny jeans, cream blouse and black three quarter sleeved blazer. It's not that fancy an outfit but I have to admit I rock it.

"You look great too." I reply. "Right are we ready to go?"

"Yep. Follow me." Quinn answers.

I grab Emily's hand and Emily grabs Quinn's and we walk out of the building together. The walk to the Bistro isn't very far and when we get there perfectly on time for our reservation.

We sit down at a little table towards the back of the restraint and after the waiter takes our orders we fall into a comfortable conversation.

"So what are you working as now?" I ask interestedly.

"I work with a local youth theatre group. It's great, the kids are all really talented and I love helping them." Quinn replies enthusiastically.

"Wow that sounds cool, I always thought you'd be the one on stage though." I reply honestly.

"Well I wanted to be on the less stressful end of the job. If you remember high school you'll know I don't cope well with stress." She chuckles as the waiter comes over and places our food in front of us.

"I always just thought you were crazy." I joke and Quinn glares at me playfully in response.

"Haha Britt, you're so funny." She drawls sticking her tongue out at me.

"I know, it's a gift and a curse." I banter playfully and Quinn shakes her head at me.

"Mommy, can you cut this." Emily interrupts pointing to the spaghetti on her plate.

"Sure baby slide it here." I reply taking the plate Emily passes to me.

When I'm done I pass it back to the little girl and look up to see Quinn looking at me thoughtfully.

"I have to say you seem a lot more mature than high school." Quinn says honestly.

"Well high school was four years ago. Plus I had to grow up when I had Emily." I say looking down at the little girl inhaling her food beside me.

"You don't seem like you without your wacky side though." Quinn says contemplatively.

"I still have my wacky side and still believe in all of that stuff I just toned down talking about it because when you try talking to other adults about unicorns you get odd looks." I chuckle.

"I love unicorns." Emily pipes in excitedly bouncing up and down on her chair.

"Me to." I reply happily stroking the little girls head.

"Me three and for future reference you never have to tone down who you are around me." Quinn adds beaming over at the two of us and I smile gratefully back at her.

The waiter comes by and takes our plates and offers us the desert menu. I reluctantly agree knowing Emily is going to probably buy the most sugary thing and then not fall asleep tonight but I really can't refuse her puppy dog eyes. We all end up ordering Italian ice cream and when the waiter comes with our bowls we fall back onto a comfortable conversation.

"So Quinn do you have a boyfriend at the moment?" I ask curiously looking over at the blonde questioningly.

Quinn looks up and me with a surprised look on her face.

"No, I'm single at the moment." She replies and I can hear a slight hint of sadness in her voice.

"I'm sure you'll find the right guy eventually." I comfort her and she responds with a half-hearted smile.

"What about you? Are you single?" Quinn asks casually but I can see a glimmer of intense curiosity in her gaze.

"Yeah I'm single. There's been no one in a long time." I respond gloomily looking down to the bowl in front of me.

"I'm sure you'll find the right person eventually." She mimics and I look sadly at her.

I play with my spoon and think about what Quinn said. I'd already had the right person for me but I'd left her. Quinn must sense my sadness as she turns to Emily and grins at her obviously trying to lighten the mood.

"How about you Em, you got a boyfriend?" She asks cheekily and Emily's face blushes a deep red and she looks down at the table shaking her head.

Quinn and I laugh at the confident little girls sudden shyness and as we laugh the waiter comes over and takes our bowls away and Quinn hands him her card asking him to take care of the bill. He smiles and after five minutes me, Quinn and Emily are headed out of the restaurant into the brisk New York night.

"I had fun tonight." I say smiling at Quinn.

"Me too. We have to do this again." She replies wrapping her jacket tightly around herself.

"Totally." I agree "Well I better get Em home. It's nearly her bed time. Bye Quinn."

"Okay. Bye Britt, bye Em." Quinn responds.

"Bye Quinn." Emily waves as I pick her up and turn to head back to our apartment for the night.

Santana's POV

I'm sitting on the couch watching the biggest loser with Tina when I hear the front door swings open and Quinn walks in.

"Hey guys." She greets as she walks into the living room and collapses onto the couch.

"Hey Q. Where have you been?" I ask curiously.

"I was out for dinner." Quinn replies.

"Oh was it a date. You finally getting some action?" I tease hopping up and down on the couch in fake excitement.

"No." She deadpans. "I really don't get why everything has to be about sex with you San. I would be happy for someone to just be interested in me" Quinn says sadly as she lazily attempts to get out of her coat with as little effort possible.

"It's not all about sex. I think it'd be good for you to date. The right guy out there for you, you just need to look." I encourage her.

"That's what Brittany said at dinner." She says casually, giving up with her battle with her coat and falling back into the couch cushions.

I stare at her a minute a little taken aback. Why hadn't she just said she was out with Brittany in the first place?

"Oh… you were out with Brittany?" I ask hesitantly.

Quinn turns to look at me and she must have realized she mentioned the blonde's name. "Yeah sorry, I didn't know if it was okay to mention." Quinn says apologetically.

"Of course it's fine Q. She's your friend too I'm glad you're hanging out." I encourage her. "You don't have to hide the fact you're hanging out with her." I say as I pat her arm reassuringly.

"Sorry S. I just really don't know how things are between you two at the moment." Quinn says honestly and I nod.

"There a lot better now, the whole talking on the phone thing is actually working really well and we're slowly starting to fix things. Actually I said I'd call her tonight so I might go do that now." I say as I stand up of the couch and grab my phone before heading to my room.

I shut my door behind me and head over to my bed scrolling through my contacts until I come to Brittany's name. Pressing call I bring the phone to my ear and wait for the blonde to answer. After three rings I hear a voice squeal through the speaker.

"Tana!" Emily screams excitedly.

"Hey Ems. Shouldn't you be in bed?" I say as I glance at my watch and spot the time.

"I couldn't sleep so mommy let me stay up!" She says happily.

"Well speaking of your mommy is she there at the moment." I ask.

"Uh huh." The small blonde replies. "MOMMY! TANA'S ON THE PHONE."

I hear Brittany's voice quietly through the speaker. "Baby don't shout, and I told you not to answer my phone without asking me. It's time for bed, give me the phone then head to your room."

"Okay" Emily says to her mom but I'm guessing the phone is still pressed to her ear because I can hear everything she's saying.

"Night Tana." Emily says.

"Night Ems." I reply.

I hear some shuffling and a murmured 'love you too' from Emily through the phone before I hear Brittany on the other end.

"Hey. Sorry about Em, blame Quinn for buying her ice cream." Brittany chortles.

"It's fine. She's just like you, give you sugar and you'll go mad." I joke hesitantly.

"Yeah I guess. So what's your question for the night?" She asks.

We've been doing this thing where we get to ask each other one question each phone call and the other has to answer as honestly as possible. Brittany's questions are always pretty simple like do I like my job or how my parents are. I mostly ask her about stuff that happened when she left me and her life since. It's actually been a really good way to get to know each other again. I've been thinking about what I wanted to ask her all day and decided on a pretty heavy one tonight.

"Okay… this may be out of line but I was wondering… do you really not remember what happened to you the night you got pregnant?" I ask hesitantly.

"No and I really don't want to talk about it Santana." Brittany replies instantly.

"Sorry I was just curious and you always seem to avoid the subject when we talk about the past. Tina told me you hadn't even acknowledged it until she brought it up." I reply unsurely.

"Of course I 'acknowledged' it." She replies sharply. "I really just don't want to talk about it can we just move on. I answered your question."

"Britt, a really traumatizing event happened to you and you act like it wasn't that big a deal we can't just 'move on'." I counter hesitantly.

"Of course it was a big fricking deal Santana." She says tonelessly. "It was horrible and when I think about that night I can't help but feel disgusted and want to go cry in a corner wishing it'd never happened. But then I feel guilty because I feel like I wished Emily had never been born and I'd never wish that. It was a horrific thing and I can't really deal with it so I ignore it to cope. I don't care if it's healthy or not I just have to do it."

I'm taken aback by her words, I never realized that under Brittany's bubby exterior there was this deep pain.

"I'm sorry Britt. I shouldn't have pushed you." I say timidly.

"It's fine." She replies.

"It's not though a real friend wouldn't make you that upset." I counter.

"It's fine, I did tell you to ask anything." She responds. "Also you just called me your friend, are we friends now?" She asks hesitantly.

"Yeah we're friends Britt." I reply tentatively happy.

I pause for a minute before deciding to ask the question I've wanted to since mine and Brittany's first conversation.

"I'm going to break the rules and ask you another question. Will you and Em come to the park with me?" I ask hopefully.

She thinks for a minute before I hear her talking again. "We will if you answer my question… did you miss me?" She asks timidly.

I pause for a minute before replying. "Yeah I did." I wasn't really that hard a question to answer, of course I'd missed her.

"Then yes we'll come to the park with you. Well I've got to go now and get Em to bed. Night San." She chirps.

"Night Britt." I reply.

The blonde hangs up and I collapse back onto the bed surrounded by silence rehashing the phone call. A few minutes later I hear a buzzing from my phone so pick it up and see that I have a new message so click on it.

_From Britt: I missed you too._

I grin at the text and put the phone down beside me before lying down and slowly drifting to sleep with those words swirling around my head.

* * *

**A/N: Random info: for some reason when I was writing Sadie flirting with Adam I kept picturing Kitty as Sadie so if any of you want to know what she's like just imagine a brunette Kitty. Also I hope you like the slight speed up of the Brittana development, I wrote this before all the comments about how you like the pace (I'm not writing at the moment due to exams but using pre-written chapters) so I hope it's still good :) Also I know it might be kinda annoying to miss the stuff that went on between them in the three weeks I jumped but I didn't want to bore you all with endless chapters of them talking about things I've already (hopefully) explained from one of their POV's. Thanks for reading and please leave a review or PM me, I love hearing what you think. So my next update will probably not be for a week so see you in 2013!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Happy 2013, I hope you all had an awesome new year's :D Once again thanks for all the follows, favorites and reviews I got on the last chapter, they're all greatly appreciated and I absolutely love hearing what you all think :) I'm not one hundred percent sure about this chapter but I hope you all still like it.**

**HeyaBrittana95: Thank you so much! I love reading your reviews :D**

**tinygleek: I'm glad you liked the Brittana stuff at the end and hope you like the park scenes in this chapter :)**

**So back to the story, any mistakes are mine :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the other places or products mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Santana's POV

After talking to Brittany more on the phone we'd arranged to meet in the park at 4 on Wednesday. I'm supposed to meet them in 2 hours and I'm freaking out about our meeting, I know I suggested it but now I'm really nervous. Quinn got back from work half an hour ago and has just been sitting on the couch watching me pace around the living room being totally unhelpful.

"Okay for like the twelfth time stop pacing. If you don't calm down you're gonna pass out or something." Quinn says dramatically as she stands up and moves over to me.

"Shut up Q. I'm just nervous." I retort as I continue to pace across the room.

Quinn gives me a warning glare obviously telling me to stop but I just glare at her slightly and then turn away to continue with my pacing. All of a sudden I feel a body collide with me and I'm tackled down onto the couch.

"What the fuck Q!" I shout glaring at the blonde on top of me.

"You're pacing was annoying me and I thought this might stop you." Quinn says playfully, a smirk plastered across her face.

"That fucking hurt! I think you broke me with your fat ass." I shout mockingly, wriggling underneath her.

"Oh harsh words Satan, but I'll let it slide cause I know you're nervous." Quinn replies, not moving from on top of me.

I sit still for a few seconds waiting for Quinn to get off me but she makes no move to get off.

"Q I know you've always wanted to top a girl but you're kinda crushing me here." I tease and watch as Quinn's eyes widen in shock.

Quinn's face turns bright red and she scrambles quickly off of me shooting to the other side of the room.

"Santana!" Quinn screeches embarrassedly. "I don't know how many times I need to say this. Me," She says pointing to herself. "Not. Into. Girls! Especially not you!"

"Sure Quinny, just know we'll love you no matter what." I laugh as I sit up on the couch.

"Ugh you're so annoying!" Quinn sighs exasperatedly.

I see Quinn turn to leave the room and panic quickly hurrying after her grabbing her arm to stop her.

"Don't leave me Quinn! I need you to distract me!" I beg desperately.

Quinn seems to consider her options for a moment before I see smirk appear on her face.

"I'll stay if you quit with the lesbian jokes. Permanently." Quinn bargains glaring at me from the doorway.

"But Quinn…" I say desperately but Quinn just continues to stare at me. "Fine." I huff.

"Great! What do you want to watch?" Quinn asks as she moves back into the living room and sits on the couch.

"Hoarders?" I suggest.

"Fine put it on." Quinn sighs slumping back into the couch.

I walk over to the T.V. and pick up the DVD case and stick in the first disk then head back to the couch and me and Quinn huddle together and settle into watch it.

We watch one episode and by the time it finishes I have to get ready and then leave for the park so I quickly go and change into some light skinny jeans and a navy sweater before grabbing my coat and heading for the door.

"Have fun Sanny." Quinn shouts as I head towards the door.

"Bye Fabgay." I respond.

"Santana!" She shouts. "You said no more gay jokes!"

"I lied." I smirk as I walk through the door and close it behind me.

* * *

The walk to the park doesn't take very long and when I get there I find a bench and sit down and wait. I wait till five past four then start to worry so pull out my phone to call them, I stop myself though as it's probably still too soon to call. I'm sitting staring at my phone watching the minutes go past when I hear a loud squeal.

"TANA!" Emily shouts excitedly.

I look up and see a small blonde figure running straight at me. I have just enough time to stand up and brace myself before I'm attacked into a hug.

"Hey Ems." I greet cheerily. "How are you today?" I ask as I lift the little girl up and balance her on my hip.

"I'm super happy." The smaller blonde chirps excitedly. "We get to hang out!"

"I'm super happy that we get to hang out too!" I reply enthusiastically.

Usually I hate kids but there is something about Emily that makes her so easy to love. I look up and see Brittany with the biggest smile plastered on her face.

"Hey Britt." I greet timidly.

"Hey San." She responds. "Looks like you've replaced me already." She jokes hesitantly, looking at Emily who is clinging onto my neck.

"No mommy, I'm just excited to see Tana!" Emily responds adorably.

"Well that's good." Brittany chuckles. She turns to look at me. "So what do you want to do for the rest of the day?" She asks.

"Well I have work at 8 but I thought we could go feed the ducks for a bit then go grab some vendor food for dinner." I suggest.

"That sounds awesome. Emily loves ducks, don't you?" The taller blonde coos and Emily beams over at her and nods enthusiastically.

"She's just like her mommy then." I respond happily.

"Yeah me and mommy feed them all the time!" Emily says bouncing in my arms.

Emily's movements are making her hard to hold so I put her down and she runs off to Brittany and grabs her hand dragging her away and motioning for me to follow her. She's headed in the wrong direction for the duck pond but I don't have the heart to stop her, plus it's a circular path so we'll get there eventually. I catch up to the pair and start walking beside Brittany.

"Sorry she's so hyper. Tina keeps sneaking her extra cookies." The taller blonde laughs watching Emily who has now run slightly ahead of us.

"It's fine." I respond. "I can't blame her, no one could say no to her." I say as I look over at the adorable little girl.

Me and Brittany walk together to the duck pond in near silence, we try to chat but seeing her in person is really different from talking to her on the phone and I feel like I need more time to think of responses than you have in a normal conversation. Things do get a bit more comfortable as we walk so I decide that maybe we just need time to readjust to being around each other again also I am a bit nervous and that could be part of the problem. When we finally get to the duck pond after our ten minute walk Emily runs off towards the water and Brittany runs after her trying to slow her down. Laughing at the pair of them I follow after them until I reach where they're crouched down by the side of the pond and notice Emily's looking down sadly.

"What's up Ems." I ask curious as to why the little girls has a pouted face.

"I don't have any bread." Emily says sadly, looking at the ducks swimming towards her.

"That's okay, I brought some." I respond as I pull some out of my bag and hold it out for her.

"Yay!" She cheers as she reaches out and takes some from me. "Thank you Tana."

"You're welcome." I beam as I pass some bread over to Brittany who smiles gratefully as she takes it.

We sit and feed the ducks for half an hour and I notice that Brittany is being strangely quiet, she just sits and watches me and Emily talk. I'm still having fun with Emily though and have a great time feeding the ducks, even though I'm convinced one of them was giving me the evil eye but Emily said I was just being silly. When we run out of bread I stand up and dust myself of before turning to Brittany.

"You wanna go get some food?" I ask.

The blonde nods in reply and clambers up pulling Emily with her and we start walking to the food trucks. Emily runs off a little ahead of us so I turn to my side to chat to Brittany but am surprised to see her walking blankly beside me staring at the ground and my face scrunches in confusion at her demeanor.

"You alright Britt?" I ask cautiously.

Upon hearing my words she looks over at me and smiles weakly.

"I'm actually happy." She says and I'm even more confused. She really doesn't look happy.

"Really?" I ask unsurely, my voice laced with doubt.

"Yeah. I just never thought me, you and Em would get to hang out like this." She says timidly. "I thought after what I said, I'd never get to spend a day like this with you." She says and I swear I can see tears in her eyes.

"Britt…" I start but I stop as I really don't know what to say.

"I know things aren't fixed between us yet Santana don't worry. I'm just glad we can hang out like this again. I really like spending time with you." She says smiling at me.

"I'm glad too. Things aren't all fixed yet but I'm glad we sorted enough out so that we can do this." I reply reassuringly. "I like spending time with you and Ems too."

Sure things aren't fixed between us and I haven't totally gotten over what she said but the anger I used to feel towards her has gone know and has been replaced by a hope that we can be friends again, like we used to be before our relationship. I know it's probably stupid to open up to her again but I can't help it, she was my best friend for most of my life and it's hard not to feel comfortable with her. I want to be close again and I can't help it when she's so fucking adorable all the time.

As we get close to the vendors Brittany calls Emily over to us and we pick a bench to sit on. Brittany and I sit beside each other and Emily decides to be awkward and half sits on both of us.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Brittany asks amusedly prodding the little girls' side playfully.

"I wanted to sit beside you both." Emily replies as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Me and Brittany laugh and I can't help but beam over at the taller blonde and she returns the smile her eyes gleaming happily.

"So what do you want to eat?" I ask the little blonde in my lap.

"Hm... pizza please!" The little blonde exclaims excitedly, pointing to a truck directly opposite us. The owner spots her pointing and smiles over at us welcomingly.

"That sounds awesome. What type do you want?" I ask.

"Cheese and tomato please." Emily requests eagerly.

"All right then I'll go get it! You want Hawaiian Britt?" I ask remembering the blonde's favorite.

"Yeah that'd be great thanks." The blonde responds.

I nudge Emily into Brittany's lap so I can stand up and go to walk over to the truck.

"Can I come too?" Emily asks excitedly.

I chuckle and nod and she jumps of Brittany's lap and holds her arms up for me. Guessing she wants to be picked up I reach down and lift her so she's balancing on my hip before walking over to the pizza stand.

"Hi." I greet the old woman in the truck. "Can I get two cheese and tomato and one Hawaiian slice please." I request.

"Sure dear." The woman replies.

As the woman moves to get our order I feel a vibration in my pocket so shift Emily to one side and pull out my phone to see I have a text message so open it and read what it says.

_From Quinn: How's the big reunion going? Please tell me you're not being a bitch and are being nice to the Pierces :P_

I laugh as I read Quinn's message and quickly type a reply.

_To Quinn: When am I not nice ;P It's actually been fun so far :) I'll tell you more tomorrow._

I stuff the phone back into my pocket and spot three huge slices of pizza sitting in front of me and I realize I'm not going to be able to carry them and Emily alone so I turn and wave Brittany over so she can help. She spots me waving and nods and walks over so she's standing beside me.

"Mommy look how big the pizza is!" Emily says enthusiastically pointing to the pizza slices.

"It's huge baby." Brittany replies cheerily.

"You sure you're gonna be able to eat all that shorty." I tease, tickling Emily's tummy playfully.

"Of course I can!" She chirps wiggling around in my arms to stop me tickling her.

"Here you go honey." The woman says handing us our pizza.

"Thanks." I say as I hand over some money. "Keep the change."

"Thank you dear." She says gratefully beaming at the three of us. "And may I say you have a beautiful family, your daughters just adorable." She coos down at Emily.

As I register her words I get a warm feeling but then I tense and look at Brittany to see how she going to react. I'm surprised when she just smiles and says thank you before walking back over to the bench and Emily wiggles to be put down and then follows after her. I stay standing where I am and just stare at the pair sitting on the bench eating their pizza. Brittany looks over at me curiously and I start to move over to the bench my legs feeling like lead. I can't shake the panicked feeling that's suddenly taken over my body and I don't know why I feel like this, I mean the woman only suggested we were a family. Looking at us physically it's understandable, Emily does kind of look like a mix of me and Brittany. I don't think it's the fact that she said it that's freaking me out the most though.

I'm brought back to reality when I hear Brittany talking to me.

"San are you alright, you look a little pale." She asks in concern.

I shake myself back to reality and plaster a fake smile on my face.

"I'm actually feeling a little ill. I think I might just head home and have a nap before work. Don't want to infect you and Ems after all." I try to say jokingly but it comes out wrong as I'm panicking so much I can't talk properly.

"Oh. Are you going to be okay?" She asks worriedly, starting to stand up.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna go." I say hurriedly before Brittany can stand up and come over to me.

I quickly turn and start to walk away without saying goodbye to either of the blondes and once I'm out of there view I break into a jog to get back to the apartment. The run seems short and when I reach the apartment I sprint up the stairs and barge through the door and into the living room.

"Wow Santana what's up?" Quinn asks from the couch, shocked by my sudden entrance.

"Nothing." I reply as I head to the loveseat and sit down on it cautiously.

"San, don't lie to me. You look like you've seen a ghost and you're out of breath, what happened? I thought things were going well with Britt and Em." She says curiously. "Oh man you didn't get into a fight did you?" She says as she sits up on the couch to face me.

"No." I respond shortly fidgeting with my hands in my lap.

"Santana. Tell me what is going on. You're freaking me out." Quinn demands but I just continue to sit there in silence staring at my lap. "If you don't tell me now I'll call your mother on you." The blonde threatens.

I sigh in defeat, as much as I love her taking to my mother is something I really don't want to do right now. "I just panicked." I say dejectedly slouching into the seat behind me.

"About what?" Quinn asks curiously.

I sigh and move over to the couch sitting down and laying my head on Quinn's shoulder.

"This woman at the park told me and Britt we had a beautiful family and I freaked out and left." I say sadly.

"Why would that freak you out?" Quinn asks. "It was just a mistake."

"I don't really know. But when she said it Brittany said 'thank you'." I say dramatically. "She didn't correct her she just said thank you and walked off."

"And that's bad because…" Quinn started.

"We're not a family she should have corrected her." I say as if it's obvious.

"Maybe she was just trying to spare the woman an awkward situation." Quinn suggests.

"But we're not a family." I repeat quietly.

"Honey, why is this freaking you out so much?" Quinn asks confusedly.

I look at her and ponder this question. Why was this freaking me out so much? It was a simple mistake and yet I can't stop thinking about it. Talking about it is just making me feel worse though because I'm imagining how hurt Emily and Brittany looked when I just walked off. I don't want to talk about it anymore so look at my watch and see it's 7 so I decide to head to work early to avoid talking about this more. I stand up and walk out of the room and head to my bedroom to change.

"Santana Lopez. Where are you going?" Quinn shouts after me.

"Work." I reply from my room as I slip into a dress and grab my other work stuff.

"You're not on until later." Quinn says as she walks into my room crossing her arms over her chest and giving me her 'I know you're avoiding me' face.

"I got called and asked to come in early when I was out." I respond pushing past Quinn and heading for the door.

"Bullshit Lopez." Quinn shouts but I just walk out the apartment and slam the door behind me.

* * *

I get to work quickly as I take a cab and when I walk in I glance over at the bar and see Jackson mixing drinks behind it. I walk over and take a seat on the stool and Jackson looks over and is obviously surprised to see me.

"Hey Sanny." He drawls in his Sothern accent. "What are you doing here so early?"

"I need to drink." I reply bluntly, I need to relax and alcohol seems like the perfect idea.

"Hmm, I don't know if that's a good idea darlin' you seem a bit upset and emotional drinking never helped nobody." He says as he wipes the bar down.

"Jackson please just let me drink." I nearly beg looking up to catch his gaze.

He seems to debate with himself for a while before sighing resignedly. "Fine, but your off duty tonight. I don't need no drunk bartenders." He replies sternly.

"Fine, now give me Tequila." I demand.

Jackson shuffles away from me and returns a minute later. "I really shouldn't be doing this but here." He says handing me a shot which I quickly down and hold the glass out for another. "Wow slow down there Sanny."

"Just let me drink." I say desperately, staring pleadingly at him.

I really want to just stop thinking and alcohol seems to be the only way I can think of doing that at the moment.

"Fine but please don't kill yourself with alcohol poisoning. The paperwork would be horrible." He jokes and I would normally laugh but right now I'm really not in the mood.

The night passes by quickly and by eight I'm on my tenth shot and am starting to sway.

"Hey honey I'm gonna call Quinn." Jackson says as he takes my glass from me.

I want to protest but I can't seem to get my mouth to work so just shake my head drunkenly but Jackson doesn't see as he's already gone. I lay my head down in defeat and after what only seems like minutes I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey Sanny let's get you home." Quinn coos patting me gently on the back.

I nod and let myself be lifted by Jackson and taken out to the curb where I see a cab waiting for us. Jackson places me in the back and kisses my forehead before heading back over to Quinn and I hear Quinn and Jackson talking but just lay my head on the seat and closing my eyes. The door suddenly slams and I feel a hand start stroking my hair gently and the cab start moving. After I don't know how long we stop and Quinn pushes the door open and I see a blurry Tina standing on the sidewalk. The two of them pull me out and support my weight as I stumble into the building and up to our apartment. When we get there they dump me on the bed and Quinn pulls off my dress and puts some shorts and a t-shirt on me before pulling the covers up. Tina leaves them comes back a minute later with some water and they prop me in a sitting up position and feed me water and after the first glass I can already feel myself sobering up slightly.

"Sanny, why were you drinking so early?" Quinn asks in concern. "Is this because of what happened with Brittany?" She asks gently.

I nod my head, unfiltered in my drunken state ready to bear all if the right questions are asked.

"Why did you get so freaked out by what that woman said?" Quinn coos rubbing my arm gently.

I look down into my lap and feel tears start to run down my face.

"I liked i'." I mumble quietly.

"What?" Tina asks cautiously.

"I liked i'." I repeat louder and Tina just looks at me confused. "Whe' da wom'n says we w're a famly." I slur as I crumble into a sobbing mess on the bed.

I see Quinn and Tina give each other concerned looks over me before they move up on the bed and lay down to cuddle me from either side trying to sooth me. I slowly start to calm down in their embrace and after a while I drift off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: So yeah… I decided that it was time to speed things up on the relationship front a bit. I also ruined the fluff at the park with angst but I hope the fluff you did get was enough :) I'm really not sure about the end of the chapter but I hope you all think it's okay. Thank you for reading and please leave a review or PM me I love hearing what you think and they inspire me to write :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey y'all :) Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews I got on the last chapter, they're all appreciated :) So the response I got to chapter 12 was quite mixed and a lot of you commented on Santana coming off as quite selfish and the rape plot being ignored so I have decided to answer those parts of the reviews here feel free to skip it. Firstly I realize Santana seems selfish and self-absorbed and that was not my intention when I started writing her character, she was just meant to seem scared which seems to be her immediate reaction to bad situations in the show and I was trying to keep some of her original character but I can see that didn't work as I had hoped so I have tried editing her reactions in future chapters to make her seem less selfish. I know that Santana would want to help Britt but I did try to show that Brittany was reluctant to talk about it and that was part of the reason for it not being discussed so much but if that didn't come across I'm sorry. As for the rape plot although I was planning on making reference to it a lot in the process of their reunion I was mainly planning on bringing that into the main focus of the story later and was going to do a really in depth plot on it but I can see people are getting tired of waiting for it to be addressed so have tried to make it a bigger part of each chapter. **

**Guest: "I understand this…" Thank you for the review :) I think I managed to discuss most of your points in the A/N but if not feel free to leave another comment :) **

**20kels: Thank you :) my older sisters used to call me it too which is ironic now as I'm the tallest :P**

**HeyaBrittana95: Thank you :) I'm glad you like that the relationship has started to be dealt with.**

**tinygleek : I'm glad you like the park scene :) Some Brittana discussion will go on but it's still a bit reserved. I'm happy you like Quinn and Santana's friendship.**

**Leggofmyeggo: Thank you for your review :) I don't plan on brining any third parties into the relationship mainly because I couldn't stand it given the Bram nonsense going on in the show at the moment. I plan on Santana getting pulled up for her swift exit from the park don't worry.**

**BrandeisBronxx****: ****Firstly thanks for your review :) I get that you think Brittany is playing the victim card and you're probably not going to like this chapter but I don't think that I let her get off that easy and if it seems like she has then my mistake. Santana isn't getting back together with her because of what she said so that's kind of her punishment, not that Santana should have just jumped back into her arms when she repapered anyway. I don't think that Santana's has totally owned up nor has Brittany been being all innocent but I do understand where you are coming from. I'm glad you still think the story's good and I hope you like the way I take the characters in the future and maybe Brittany's character will redeem herself for you.**

**IHateBram****: You're welcome :) I understand where you're coming from and have tried to make Santana's reactions more accurate throughout the next few chapters. Brittany was not drugged though she just got drunk to the point of blacking out, I'm not saying that makes anything that happened her fault I just wanted to clarify that. I think I covered the rest of your points in my beginning A/N but if not feel free to leave another comment :) **

**erika: Here you go, sorry it took a while :)**

**Gleeeeee: Thank you hope you like it :)**

**Sorry for the excessive A/N and back to the story.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the products or places mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Santana's POV

I wake up and feel my head throbbing painfully as I try to piece the events that lead to now together. Slowly the previous day comes back to me and I sit up and am surprised when I feel two bodies shift beside me. I look down and see Quinn and Tina lying on the bed cuddled up to the spot I'd been in and shake my head gently, I'll be forever thankful for my amazing friends. I carefully maneuver out of the bed to go in search of Advil. Walking groggily into the kitchen I hit the coffee maker before heading to the cupboard and pulling out some Advil and swallowing a couple. When the coffee is done I grab a cup and head to the table sipping my drink and then lay me head on the cold surface.

I let my mind wander and I can't help but think of my drunken confession last night. I liked that the woman thought we were a family. That's what had caused me to panic so much, the fact that Brittany hadn't denied it also suggested that she must have liked it a little too. I wish we had always been a family in the first place but that didn't happen and I understand why Brittany left me, it might have taken a while to come to grips with but I realize why. I just wish she'd talked to me about it back then or I'd noticed that something was going on with her. I spent every day with her for a month and I hadn't even realized that something was wrong. How bad a girlfriend had I been if I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't even notice something so terrible had happened to her. I don't want to be with her now and do that all over again, I want to be good for her but I just don't think that's where I am at the moment. I worried I'll treat her wrong all over again, I've already done it once by just leaving them at the park like that and I can't help but worry that I'm just going to do it again if I try with her.

I hear a shuffling from the door and look up so see a sleepy Quinn standing in the door way, her blonde hair sticking out all over the place. I stand up and pour a cup of coffee then place it on the table at a free seat and the blonde smiles at me gratefully before sitting down and sipping her drink.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asks cautiously.

"I'm fine. Just thinking." I respond playing with the cup in my hands.

"About?" The blonde asks.

"What I said last night." I reveal sadly and look up to see Quinn looking at me sympathetically.

The blonde moves over to the chair beside me and rests her hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"San we need to talk about what happened yesterday. I have to ask, why does the fact you liked it freak you out so much?" She asks curiously.

I sigh and lay my cheek down on the table letting my eyes fall shut.

"I can't like it." I murmur evasively.

"Why?" Quinn asks enquiringly moving her hand to my back.

I sigh again. "I can't be a family with her and Ems. I mean I'm still kinda hurt by what she said, I know she didn't mean it but I can't just unhear what she said, you know? That's not really the problem though, I can't open myself up to her again and then just have the relationship end because neither of us are ready for it, I don't think I could come back from it again." I reply honestly.

Usually I would never talk about my feeling with Quinn, I have Tina for that, but right now I need to talk to someone. I hear Quinn huff exasperatedly beside me and I look up at her and see an annoyed look on her face and my face scrunches in confusion. Why is she annoyed at me? I have every right to be hesitant.

"Santana she didn't even want to hurt you like that in the first place she was just scared and made a bad decision." Quinn states bluntly. "You've been miserable without her and it just seems like you're trying to punish yourself and Brittany now, I don't understand, it's obviously what you really want so why don't you don't just go for it."

I look at her dumbstruck then sit back in the chair shrugging Quinn's hand away from me.

"You're saying I should just _**forget**_ everything that happened." I state incredulously.

"That's not exactly what I was saying but basically yes. I saw what you were like when you were together in high school. You were perfect for each other. And I see how you are when you talk to her now. I also hear the way Brittany talks about you, she still loves you." She retaliates and I glare at her.

"Since when did you become team Brittany? I don't know if we're perfect for each other anymore, things change. We're not the same people we were in high school." I growl.

"You're definitely the still same!" She laughs cruelly. "You're still the same scared little girl afraid of admitting you love Brittany!"

I stand up angrily and glare down at her. "This is totally different!" I shout.

Quinn's stands so we are nose to nose and is about to reply when suddenly a voice interrupts us.

"Wow guy's what going on." Tina says looking between me and Quinn but we both just stand our gazes falling to stare at the ground. "Fine don't tell me, I'm used to getting stuck in the middle." She says exasperatedly. "I just came in here to tell San that you're phones been ringing for the past ten minutes." She says as she holds my phone out to me.

As if on cue the phone in Tina's start to ring and I take it from her looking at the caller ID. I see Brittany's name flashing on the screen and press the reject button before looking back over to the kitchen table where Tina and Quinn have now taken a seat.

"Let me guess. It was Brittany." Quinn sneers. "Still trying to convince me you're not afraid?"

At her words I lose it and lunge towards her Spanish profanities spilling from my mouth. Luckily Tina intercepts me before I can get to Quinn and holds me tightly. I struggle for a bit but give in and stand glaring at Quinn from Tina's grasp.

"What the hell is going on guys!" Tina shouts as she continues to hold me.

"I'm just trying to show Santana how much of a coward she's being." Quinn answers and I try and lunge towards her again but Tina holds me still.

"Shut the hell up Quinn." I shout.

I manage to push out of Tina's embrace but instead of heading at Quinn I turn and stalk towards the front door pushing through it and slamming it behind me, not caring that I'm still wearing my pajamas.

Narrator's POV

"What was that Quinn?" Tina shouts at Quinn who is still sitting at the table and the blonde looks away guiltily.

"I'm just fed up of Santana being so selfish." The blonde mutters resignedly fidgeting with her fingers.

"That doesn't mean you have to attack her!" Tina says incredulously moving closer to the blonde so she's standing beside her.

"I thought it was the only way to get through to her." The blonde admits looking down at her hands on the table. "I know it was harsh and I didn't really mean most of it but you should have seen the way Brittany looked when I asked if she was in a relationship. She looked like someone had just killed a puppy. I know she still loves Santana. It obvious San does too, you saw her last night. She's just too afraid to admit it! I mean it's not even as if Brittany wanted to leave her she was raped and pregnant and scared and made a rash decision. Santana's just being stupid!" The blonde reasons desperately looking at the brunette pleadingly.

"I know." Tina responds and Quinn features change to look surprised. "They might still love each other but we shouldn't get involved. They need to work things out on their own. If we push them they'll just get scared and run." Tina reasons as she moves to sit down next to Quinn.

"But T they're meant for each other. They always have been. Even when we were in middle school I could tell that they had a special connection. It just doesn't make sense to me for them to be apart." Quinn sighs exasperatedly.

"It might not make sense to you but we have no idea how Santana or Brittany really feel. We don't really know how Santana was affected by what Brittany said when she left her. Sure we saw the resulting behavior but that doesn't really mean we can understand how she feels. You're right they are meant for each other, that's why what she said hurt San _**so**_ much." Tina reasons.

"I just want my best friends back. How we used to be." Quinn says sadly. "I know how selfish that sounds but I miss the unholy trinity."

Tina places her hand on Quinn's arm comfortingly. "Quinn you just need to be patient. Things will work out if they're supposed to." Tina disputes. "For now though I think you really need to apologize to Santana."

"Yeah, I'll do it when she gets back." Quinn says resignedly as she stands up and moves out the kitchen towards her bedroom.

Brittany's POV

I've been trying to call Santana all day to talk about her sudden exit yesterday but she hasn't picked up yet. I can't tell if I'm angry at her or worried about her and it's made me distracted all day and I didn't do well in my classes which just made Professor Strain hate me more if that's even possible. It's a Thursday so Emily's only in for a half day so I'm currently headed to pick her up while I try ringing the Latina's phone again. It seems pointless though as my call once again gets sent to voicemail. I spot the daycare building ahead of me and skip up the stairs pushing through the doors into the reception and spot the receptionist sitting behind the desk and walk over to her smiling.

"Hi I'm here to pick up Emily." I greet happily as she looks up at me.

"Sure I'll just get her." The receptionist replies coldly and then moves off to the other room and I can't help but think she's nowhere near as good as Tina.

I stand quietly for a couple of minutes before I hear a squeal coming from the other side of the room.

"Mommy!" Emily shrieks as she runs into the room.

"Hey baby." I greet as the little girl runs over to me for a hug.

I love it how she gets exited every time we see each other.

"Why are you here early?" She asks as I pull her up onto my hip.

"I told you I only had class in the morning so I was gonna pick you up early so we could hang out." I remind the little girl bopping her on the nose which elicits a huge grin from the smaller girl.

"Oh yeah. Is Adam here too?" She asks looking around the room trying to spot him.

"No honey." I reply.

"But I don't want to leave Luke alone." The little girl pouts. "Can he come with us?" She asks hopefully.

"No baby he has to stay. Sorry." I say smiling apologetically at her.

"Oh…" Emily says looking at the ground sadly.

I look at Emily's sad face and immediately want to cheer her up, I never like seeing her upset. That's when a sudden idea comes into my head and I think it'll solve both our problems.

"I have an idea Em. How about we grab some lunch then go visit Tina, Quinn and Santana." I suggest happily.

When Emily hears this her face immediately lights up and she nods her head enthusiastically.

"Yeah I wanna see T!" She squeals excitedly.

"All right then, let's go." I say as I put her down and grab her hand leading her out of the daycare.

We settle on a cute little diner for lunch and me and Emily sit and eat our burgers and fries happily as we chat about our days so far. When we're done it's just past 1 and we slowly start to make our way to Tina, Quinn and Santana's apartment, or I try to go slowly but Emily is so exited she's trying to pull me to go faster. When we reach the building Santana had told me she lived in in passing I spot someone coming out and I quickly hurry through the open door into the building. We stand in the small foyer and I rack my brain trying to remember her apartment number and after a while I remember Tina mentioning them living on the third floor so I pull Emily into the elevator and hit the button for the third floor. We quickly ride up and when the elevator doors open on the third floor we step out and look around. There are only two apartments on this floor and I decided my best bet is to just knock on one of them. I walk up to the door with 3A on it and knock hesitantly. After a couple of minutes the door swings open and I see a shocked looking Tina standing in the doorway.

"Brittany. What are you doing here?" Tina asks taken aback glancing between me and Emily.

"Sorry for just showing up." I say embarrassedly. "I wanted to see if you were up to hanging out. I should have called though. Also I kinda wanted to talk to Santana."

When I say that out loud I realize how much of a bad idea this was. I just showed up unannounced at my ex-girlfriend's apartment with my three and a half year old daughter. It makes me sound like some kind of crazy stalker.

"Sorry this was a really bad idea." I quickly apologies.

I turn and start to walk away dragging an upset looking Emily behind me when a hand grabbing my wrist stops me.

"Sorry Britt I was just surprised. You should come in." She smiles ushering us into the apartment.

Once we're inside I look around and can't help but admire the apartment and I notice a massive living room to the left which Tina guides me into and ushers me and Emily to sit down on the couch before turning to the door.

"I'll go tell Santana you're here." She says as she walks through away down the hall.

Santana's POV

I hear a knocking at my door and reluctantly grunt to signal for them to come in. They must have heard me as seconds later Tina enters my room and sits down on the chair by my desk. She looks at me for a minute before moving over to sit next to me on the bed.

"Brittany and Emily are here." She says carefully as if fearing my reaction.

"Oh…" I respond shocked to say the least.

"Do you want me to tell them to go?" She asks.

I think about this for a moment. I know it's not really fair to be avoiding Brittany, she didn't actually do anything wrong. But with what happened with the woman yesterday and Quinn today I don't know what I would say to her. I'm just so confused at the moment. I wish I could just sort out how I'm feeling. I decided that I really need to talk to Brittany about what happened so I might as well get it over with.

"No it's fine I'll talk to them." I say quietly.

Tina nods at me and we both stand up off the bed and make our way out my room and down the hall towards the living room. When we get there I spot Emily and Brittany on the couch giggling at each other and I can't help but smile. I catch Emily making a face at Brittany and can't help but laugh which causes the blondes to turn in my direction spotting me in the doorway.

"Hi Tana we came to hang out with T." Emily says demurely.

"That's awesome Ems. I love hanging out with you." I say cheerily as I walk over to hug her but she moves away from my hug.

"Really. Cause yesterday you left. You didn't even say bye." She pouts sadly up at me stepping away from me.

I look sadly at the little girl. "Of course I like hanging out with you." I encourage her. "I just felt sick yesterday so had to go home."

"You still could have said bye." Emily reasons, continuing to pout.

"I know and I'm sorry." I apologize.

I glance over to the couch and spot Brittany watching us talk and when she catches my eye she nods reassuringly at me and I smile hesitantly back. I look back at the little girl in front of me and see her staring at me expectantly.

"I gave you a second chance and you made us sad again." Emily says sternly.

"I am so sorry for making you sad Ems. I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have left without saying goodbye." I apologize, staring pleadingly at the little girl.

"Last chance." Emily says holding her arms out for a hug.

"Thank you." I say as I lean forward and give her a quick hug. "Ems I actually wanted to chat to your mommy for a bit. Why don't you go join Tina in the kitchen I thinks she's making cookies." I suggest happily.

"Yay cookies! I love cooking with T." Emily squeals excitedly as she runs off in the direction of the kitchen.

Brittany watches her run past her and then looks back over at me.

"You want to talk?" She says emotionlessly staring at me blankly and it scares me, Brittany's never like this.

"Yeah." I reply. "Can we go to my room though. I don't want T or Ems listening in."

"Sure." She responds standing up off the couch.

I walk off in the direction of my room with her following close behind and when we get there I take a seat on the desk chair and Brittany perches on the end of the bed glancing around.

"It's just like your old one." She comments staring at the dark walls and furniture's.

I nod slightly and we sit there awkwardly. After a while I finally get the courage to talk so look up at Brittany determinedly.

"I wanted to talk about yesterday." I say locking eyes with Brittany.

"So did I. You can't do that Santana, you can't just leave. You promised that you wouldn't hurt Em again and you just leaving like that hurt her Santana. I'm not going to stop you seeing her but you have to know this really is your last chance. I know I sound like an a-hole right now but she's my kid and I can't stand seeing her upset." Brittany says firmly.

"I know and I'm sorry, I really am and I will not waste this chance and if I do I fully accept the consequences. I need to explain why I left though. I wasn't really ill." I say and Brittany nods her head.

"I guessed as much, I know you Santana and you had panic written all over your face." She says comfortingly. "Why were you panicking?" She asks cautiously fiddling with a bracelet on her wrist.

"That woman called us a family." I mumble looking down unsurely as we reach the difficult part of the conversation.

"Yeah she did. So…"Brittany starts.

"So we're not a family. You should have corrected her." I say dubiously.

"It was just a simple mistake." She says casually. "I didn't see you trying to correct her either."

When I register her words I stare at her stunned. Sure I hadn't corrected the woman but that's because I was in the process of freaking out at the time. Brittany was the one who thanked her and walked off.

"You didn't really give me a chance." I reason incuriously looking at the blonde disbelievingly.

Brittany looks down at the comforter and starts picking at it and I can tell she's want to say something but is probably not sure how I'll react.

"Britt just tell me why you didn't correct her. It feels like there's more than meets the eye here." I say. I just want to get this all sorted so we can move on.

The blonde mumbles something quietly down at the comforter and I can't make it out. Before I can ask her to repeat it she looks up at me and says it again louder.

"I liked it. I liked pretending that we were a family. We had such an awesome day and I just… I wanted to pretend we were a family." She says sadly and I swear I can hear guilt in her voice.

"Brittany we're not a family though." I say again meeting her gaze and holding it.

Brittany pauses for a second continuing to hold my gaze unwaveringly before she sighs and looks back down to her fidgeting hands.

"We could be." She says hopefully and my eyes widen in shock.

I'm stunned by her words. This is the first time either of us have ever mentioned the possibility of us being a couple again and the idea both excites and terrifies me. I can't shake the feeling that things would just end badly again though.

"Britt… we can't." I say sadly and Brittany's head snaps up to stare at me.

"Why not?" She asks.

How am I supposed to respond? I think I want to be with her but our history is clouding everything and I don't know if I really do or it's just residual feelings. She shouldn't just be springing this on me. We were doing really well as friends and I was happy to finally have her back in my life. Sure I made some mistakes but she can't put this pressure on me, it's not fair. The idea of us being together just seems too sudden.

I realize I've been thinking for a while and look up and see Brittany staring at me.

"Brittany we can't be together." I say reluctantly failing to believe my own words.

"I know I left you but you know I didn't want to I was scared and I don't see why you can't understand that. Things were getting better. We can be together Santana." She says resolutely.

"Brittany I know why you left me and believe me I hate myself for not being there when you were working through all that. I'm glad you're better now and that's behind you but we can't be together." I say adamantly.

When Brittany hears my words her face morphs into one of disbelief. She stares at me for a minute and I start to get uncomfortable under her gaze until finally she starts to talk slowly.

"You think I'm done working through it? That I'm all better?" She asks incredulously and my gaze drops at her words, knowing I've said something wrong. "I was violated and haven't been able to trust anyone physically since so I'm not better. I can't tell Emily who her father is because I feel sick when I mention him so I'm not better. We broke up because of 'all that' so I'm not better. I'm not better Santana and it's not all over with. I was raped, that's not something that just goes away. Sure the fact that I can't remember it makes it easier to ignore but you don't think I know what happened to me even though I can't remember it. I know he must have just decided he had the right to do things to me that he had no right to do. I never thought that you of all people would disregard something that had hurt me so much." She finishes, letting out a deep breath and I can see tears shimmering in her eyes.

I stand staring at her dumbstruck, slowly the way I've been acting since she came back focuses and I realize how selfish I've actually been. I didn't mean to act like her rape was nothing it's just she never talks about it so I just assumed that she'd dealt through the worst of it, I really didn't know it still affected her this much and now I feel horrible for what I said. I'd honestly tried to talk about her rape with her but she'd just shut me down so I just left it. I guess I just kind of tried to pretend it didn't happen, I mean I didn't want to think of Brittany going through all that without me and in the process I forgot that it really did happen and would be affecting her.

"Brittany I'm-" I start but am cut off.

"I think I should go." Brittany interrupts and stands up of the bed and walks into the hallway.

I hear her shout for Emily from the hall and after a mumbled conversation they shout goodbye to Tina and I hear the front door shut. Seconds later Tina appears in my doorway with a worried look on my face. I lift my head to look at her with a still stunned expression on my face.

"I'm a bitch." I say dejectedly.

"That's nothing new. What happened?" Tina asks.

"She wants us to be together." I whisper in disbelief.

"Do you?" Tina asks cautiously.

I sit and think this over for a minute. I know the real answer to that question and it terrifies me more than anything.

"Yeah, but we can't…" I say sadly.

"Santana you can do whatever you want." Tina sighs before leaving me alone in my room to think.

I can't help but think, where do Brittany and I go from here.

* * *

**A/N:Okay so I'm not sure about the changes I made but ****I hope it dealt with some of the stuff you guys were comenting on. Oh and yeah I'm going back to the angst. Thanks for reading and please leave a review, I love hearing what you guys think :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello again :) As always thanks for all the follows, favourites and reviews I got on the last chapter, they're all wonderful :D So this chapter is a bit rushed as I had an exam today and very little time to write but I wanted to get something out this week :) The exams also mean I probably won't update for another two weeks, sorry.**

"**I don't like…" I know people are being hard on her at the moment but things will get better, as the Glee writers say just hang in there.**

**njhousefan: I'm glad you liked the change :) I agree that Santana should have to work for forgiveness and I hope you like what I've done with that.**

**PandaQueen: Thank you! Here you go :)**

**HikariKou: She will be nice don't worry. And thanks.**

"**Can't wait for…" ****Here you go :) Thanks you so much :D**

**Leggofmyeggo: You're welcome :) I'm glad you like the fact some of the issues are being addressed. I didn't see it when I was writing it but I get what you're saying about the Tina being in Bitt's old position, so true :) There is probably a season 5 of Glee, they picked up season 4 and 5 at the same time but who knows what'll happen now with the dropping viewers. I think a spin off would be good, cause as much as I am one of a seemingly few people who the new characters are growing on I'd love to see the old cast in a group dynamic like that :) p.s. I'm guessing you're not a Rachel fan :P**

"**you are so…" Thank you so much you're review left me with a ridiculous grin :) I hope you like what's coming up.**

**Mandy: I get what you're saying and I was going to try take it the lighter route but other reviewers mentioned how they didn't like how the rape plot seemed to be getting ignored and you can't really cover a rape plot without angst :/ It will get happier soon though :)**

**tinygleek: Thanks for your review :) I'm glad you likes Brittany telling Santana how she really feels. I agree on the Britt and Em thing you need to be responsible if you're gonna be in a kids life. Only time will tell ;P**

**Puff614: Thanks for the review :) I hope you like how Santana handles the future and like the rest of the chapters :)**

**Unknown: Here you go :)**

**So back to the story, any mistakes are mine :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the products and places mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Brittany's POV

My mind has been in a daze since yesterday, I can't believe what happened. Santana called me last night like she usually does on nights off from work but I couldn't answer. Emily was upset because she'd hardly talked to her at the apartment but I couldn't talk to her after what happened. I do still want to be with her but I'm pissed that she just dismissed my rape, yeah I avoid talking about it but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. I thought she understood that I was just scared to talk about it.

Emily and I are walking to daycare and there's a silence over the both of us. It's been like this since we got home last night and it's killing me to see the normally bright and bubbly Emily so quiet. When we get to the daycare we walk in and head to the reception desk. Tina spots us coming and sends me a sympathetic smile.

"Hey, if it isn't two of my favorite blondes." Tina greets cheerfully.

"Hey Tina." I greet smiling unconvincingly at her.

"Em I just saw Luke head through to the play area you should go join him." Tina encourages the young blonde enthusiastically.

"Okay. Bye mommy. Love you." Emily says and I crouch down to kiss her on the forehead.

"Love you too. Have fun." I say as Emily walks off into the playroom.

"What's up with you two?" Tina asks once Emily's out of earshot.

"Just more Santana drama, she just said some stuff that annoyed me and Em's upset cause she hardly got to hang out with her at your apartment." I answer.

"Oh right." Tina replies.

I wait for her to say more but when nothing else comes I look at her questioningly.

"That's all you have to say. You usually have great advice and to be honest I really need that right now." I say, pleading slightly.

"I'm not gonna get in the middle anymore." Tina replies and I give her a curious look. "You two need to sort it out on your own. Quinn and I interfering isn't gonna help at all."

"Oh." I reply slightly upset.

I need Tina's advice she always knows how to help and she knows Santana really well to.

"I'm sorry Britt it's just me and Quinn think it's best for us to back off until you get things sorted." She apologizes.

"It's fine." I say. "I should head to class."

Adam and I are sitting warming down from our ten o'clock class which frankly was hell, we'd been paired up so that was good but the moves they were teaching us were really hard and I've never had to do traditional ballroom dancing before, it's mandatory for freshmen to try all styles of dancing though. We're sitting chatting when the girl who's been flirting with Adam, Sadie, suddenly walks over to us and stands beaming down at us.

"Hi Brittany." She greets with a wave. "Hi Adam"

"Hey Sadie." Adam and I say simultaneously looking at her unsurely.

"Me and some of the others were going to head out dancing tonight and we were wondering if you wanted to come." Sadie asks smiling at Adam flirtatiously and Adams face turns bright red.

Adam's about to reply, probably to say no, but before he can I cut over him.

"We'd love to Sadie." I interrupt.

"That's great!" She says excitedly. "Meet outside the club at ten."

Sadie turns and skips back over to her friends on the other side of the room and Adam turns and stares at me disbelievingly.

"What the hell Britt. I don't want to go out with them in fact I'm not going out with them." He pouts.

"Adam come on. We're college students were supposed to do these things." I reply pleadingly giving him my best out but he just huffs and turns away from me.

"I think you're forgetting something here Britt. What about Emily?" He reminds me.

"I'll text Tina and ask if she can watch her for the night." I respond not giving up. We are going to go out.

"Britt I really don't want to." He whines dramatically flailing his arms around in the air.

"Please Adam. I need to go out and get my mind off of things." I sigh. "I would really like it if you would come. Please." I beg giving him my best puppy dog eyes.

He resists for a minute but then sighs in defeated.

"Fine. But you're not allowed to leave my side." He bargains.

"Deal. I'll text Tina." I say excitedly. I've not been out since Emily was born and I can't wait.

I pull my phone out and scroll through the contacts before I come to Tina's name.

_To Tina C: Hey T! :D Would u b able to look after Em tonight? Xx_

I'm surprised when my phone quickly vibrates with a response.

_From Tina C: Sure :] till when?_

_To Tina C: till morning? Xx_

_From Tina C: I'll have to ask Q & S, if there okay then sure :] I'll text you when they reply._

I put my phone back into my pocket and look over at Adam.

"Tina's just gotta ask her roommates if it's okay for Em to stay the night but if they say yes we're all set to go out." I smile happily.

"Yay." He says sarcastically.

"Cheer up Adam. I promise it'll be fun." I coax smiling at him cheekily.

"I'm sure it will." He replies slightly more happily. "You wanna grab an early lunch before our next class?"

"Yeah sure that'd be good." I reply.

Adam and I head to a salad bar for lunch. We sit and eat, chatting happily about dance and our plans for the evening. When we finish I glance at my phone and notice a text from Tina.

_From Tina C: Q & S say it's okay :] What time will you drop her off?_

_To Tina C: Your the best! :D Around 7ish :) Thanks xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

I glance up at Adam and squeal excitedly.

"Were all set for tonight. Prepare to dance your ass off." I shriek happily.

"Yay." Adam says with fake enthusiasm and I just hit his arm playfully and skip off back towards class.

* * *

The rest of the day passed by quickly and when told Emily that she was spending the night at Tina's she could hardly contain her excitement. I had trouble calming her down as I took her home to pack her overnight bag and feed her dinner. We danced around the living room for a while as I attempted to burn off some of her energy so she wouldn't keep Tina up all night. We're on our way to Tina's apartment now and Emily is bouncing along excitedly beside me. When we get there I press the buzzer for their flat and wait. After a few minutes I spot Tina stepping of the elevator and walking over to us with a huge smile on her face. She opens the door and Emily squeals and pounces on her squeezing her legs in a tight hug.

"Hi Em. You seem exited." Tina chuckles looking down at the little girl clinging to her.

"Yeah, we're gonna have so much fun!" Emily replies excitedly.

"We sure are." Tina agrees enthusiastically.

"Right well I guess I'll just pass her to you now." I say holding Emily's bag out for Tina.

"You don't want to come up?" Tina asks.

"No I'm good." I respond. I really don't want to bump into Santana yet, I'm pretty sure things would be awkward. "Right she comes with a few instructions." I joke and Emily sticks her tongue out at me playfully. "She needs to go to bed at nine and be warned if you feed her too much sugar she'll keep you up all night."

Tina nods happily and bends down and picks Emily up placing her on her hip.

"Got it. What time will you pick her up?" The brunette asks.

"Probably around 2." I reply. "Well I better go. Have fun and behave." I say looking at Emily. "Love you."

I lean forward and kiss Emily on the cheek before turning to head away from the building.

"Love you too." I hear Emily shout from behind me and a huge grin breaks across my face.

Santana's POV

I'm sitting on the couch reading and waiting for Tina to come back up with Emily when Quinn walks in to the room and sits down next to me. Things have been a bit tense between is since our fight yesterday but she apologized and so did I so things are better.

"Are you not working tonight?" She asks glancing at the clock.

"No, I switched shifts." I reply pretending to be enthralled by the magazine I was currently reading.

I wanted to hang out with Emily so had managed to persuade Jackson to cover for me tonight.

"That's the second time you've missed work this week." Quinn points out giving me a stern look.

"I know _**mom**_. It's fine I'm making it up next week." I respond.

Quinn's about to lecture me more but before she can I hear the front door open and footsteps running towards the living room.

"Tana! Quinn!" Emily squeals excitedly as she appears in the doorway.

She spots us sitting on the couch and runs over diving onto the spot between us.

"Hey Ems where's your mommy?" I ask, I was really hoping to see Brittany so I could apologize to her.

"She was busy so couldn't some up." Tina responds smiling at me but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Oh ok." I say dismissively. "So Ems you ready for our sleepover?" I ask grinning at the little girl beside me.

"Yeah! It's gonna be so fun." Emily says happily wiggling excitedly in her seat.

"Uh huh. What do you wanna do first?" I ask and the little girls face scrunches in thought.

"Can we make some cookies?" Emily asks looking over at Tina who's standing in the doorway.

"You're mommy said no sugar so I don't think that'd be a good idea." Tina responds and Emily pouts at her. "We can watch one of your movies instead though."

"Okay." Emily says dejectedly looking down at the couch.

"What movies did you bring?" Quinn asks excitedly obviously trying to get the little girl smiling again.

"Beauty and the Beast and Lady and the Tramp." She replies smiling a little.

"Can we watch lady and the tramp? It's my favorite." I ask overly excitedly trying to cheer Emily up.

She beams up at me. "Yeah it's mine and mommy's favorite too!" she says running over to her bag and pulling out the DVD before handing it over to me to put on. I get up to put it on when an idea hits me.

"I know. Why don't we all go put our pj's on and we can snuggle while we watch it." I suggest enthusiastically loving it when Emily's face brightens even more at the suggestion.

"Yeah!" Emily says as she runs over to her bag and pulling out her pajamas.

"Need help changing?" I ask the little girl.

"Nope." She responds. "Bathroom?"

"Second door on the left or at the end of the hall." I reply pointing to the hall through the living room door.

"Thank you." Emily says as she runs off to get changed.

I look up and see Quinn and Tina both staring at me with smirks on their faces.

"What?" I ask self-conscious under there stares.

"Snuggling in pj's." Quinn laughs. "Who are you and what have you done with Santana Lopez?"

"Shut up Q." I mumble blushing slightly.

"Oh my god. Now she's blushing. Is the world ending?" Quinn mocks and I look up and glare at her.

"Just go get changed." I order standing up and heading to my room to change.

Five minutes later we're all huddled on the couch under a blanket in our pj's as a Lady and the Tramp starts playing on the TV. Quinn, Tina and me are all sitting on the couch while Emily in sitting on my lap with her head resting on my chest. I look around the room and can't help but smile at how perfect this scene seems. I'm not usually one for sappy crap but it's been ages since me, Quinn and Tina have hung out like this and having Emily here makes it even better. We sit and comment on the film singing along with the songs and laughing at each others goofiness. When the movie eventually ends I glance at the clock and notice its ten to nine. It's probably time Emily started getting ready for bed.

"Hey Ems. Time for bed, go brush your teeth then I'll show you your room." I say to the little girl in my lap.

"Do I have to." She wines with a pout burying her face into my chest.

"Sorry Em. We're under strict instruction." Tina says laughing at the little girls adorableness.

Emily huffs and crawls out my lap before heading towards the bathroom to get ready for bed. As we watch her go Quinn stretches in her seat a huge smile spreading across her face.

"Would it be sad if I said that was the most fun I've had in ages." Quinn says happily.

"Probably. But then I'd be sad too." I laugh as I stand up off the couch and stretch.

We all grin at each other before I head into the hall and find Emily standing waiting for me.

"Right here's your room." I say opening the door to the guestroom. Emily skips past me into the room and once she's inside her eyes widen.

"It's huge." She gasps staring at the bed. "Is it just for me?"

"Yeah. Why don't you climb on up and I'll tell you a story." I suggest and Emily complies jumping onto the bed and wriggling under the covers. "What do you want to hear?" I ask.

"About prom. Mommy loves that story." She replies happily.

"I don't know how your mommy tells it." I say not wanting to confuse the girl by telling a different version. Also I don't really want to talk about how Brittany and I used to be, especially with everything going on at the moment.

"Well mommy says how it was about dinosaurs. She says you went together and she got to dance with you loads. You didn't get Queen cause you let that annoying girl win cause you didn't need to win cause you had each other and all she had was a pudgy giant. Then Q walked again and everyone was happy. Oh! Is Quinn Q?" Emily says excitedly and I nod. "Cool! I kinda told the story now though." She pouts.

I'm overwhelmed by Emily's story and can feel tears start to prickle at my eyes. That was one of the best nights of my life and hearing that Brittany loved telling Emily about it stunned me slightly. I stand up suddenly off the bed and Emily look at me confused.

"You should go to sleep now." I say to Emily holding back my emotions.

"'Kay. Night Tana." Emily says snuggling down into the bed.

"Night Ems." I reply walking out the room and closing the door behind me.

I head into the living room and find Quinn and Tina huddled up on the couch watching reality TV. I walk over to them and sit down on the couch between them and they glance up at me. They must see my teary eyes because one of them hits the power to the TV and they both turn to face me.

"Sanny are you okay?" Quinn asks carefully.

"I'm fine. Emily was just telling me the story Britt told her about Senior Prom." I say sadly and a sob escapes my throat.

"Oh honey, come here." Tina coos as she pulls me into a hug.

"I miss it so much." I admit through a sob. "We were so happy and in love."

I catch Tina give Quinn what looks like a warning look before turning back to me.

"You were in love." Tina comforts.

"I feel like I messed it all up. If I'd never broken up with her in the first place none of this would have ever happened. Why can't we still be like that?" I say sadly.

"You can." Quinn says bluntly and Tina glares at her.

"Quinn we're not getting involved remember." Tina says sternly and I pull back to look at her.

"Huh… what do you mean 'not getting involved'" I ask.

"Santana. You and Britt need to sort stuff out on your own. Quinn and I being involved and giving you our opinions isn't helping. You need to decide what _**you**_ want. Not what you think we think you should do." Tina says apologetically.

"But I don't know what I want." I say desperately.

"You need to figure it out then." Tina reasons.

I understand what she's saying but I can't help but feel a little hurt. They're my friends, there supposed to help me and give me advice but they suddenly decided that they were cutting me off, so to speak.

"Okay." I say dejectedly. "Can we watch TV?" I ask snuggling back into the couch.

Tina nods and hits the power button and the TV comes back on.

* * *

We've been sitting watching TV for two hours and Quinn and Tina have both fallen asleep. I hear a noise coming from the hall so stand up to go see what it is. When I get there I find Emily's door open and the little girl standing in the doorway. She looks up at me sadly and I walk over to her crouching in front of her.

"What's wrong Ems." I ask gently.

"I had a nightmare. I want mommy." She whimpers and I wrap my arms around her to try comfort her.

"Honey your mommy's not here right now." I say apologetically.

"I want my mommy." She repeats more desperately burying her head in my chest.

"Okay honey calm down. I'll call her." I say standing up and pulling my phone out my hoodie pocket. I scroll through my contacts and get to Brittany and quickly press call. The phone rings for a minute and then a loud voice appears on the other end and I'm surprised she actually picked up.

"_S'ntana!"_ Brittany slurs. _"Is Em o'ay?"_

"Brittany are you drunk?" I ask disbelievingly.

"_M'ybeeeeeee."_ She drawls and I just shake my head in astonishment.

"I just phoned to tell you Ems had a nightmare and she wanted to talk to you but now I really don't think that's a good idea." I say dismisivly.

"_Huh is sh' ok'y?"_ Brittany asks.

"She's fine. I should get back to her though." I say.

"_L't m talk to h'r."_ She stumbles.

"It's fine I'll deal with her. She'll be fine." I say reassuringly then hang up the phone.

I'm slightly shocked that Brittany would go out and get drunk. What if something serious had happened to Emily what would she have done then? I know she had people looking after her but she's her only parent, she shouldn't just be going out and getting plastered. She's a parent and that comes with responsibility.

I feel a tug on my pants and turn around and see Emily staring up at me.

"Is my mommy coming?" She asks quietly.

"No honey sorry." I reply. "What does she normally do to make you feel better after a nightmare?" I ask trying to find a way to make the little girl feel better.

"She snuggles me to sleep." She replies looking at the ground shyly.

"Well I'm not your mommy but do you want me to cuddle with you?" I ask hesitantly.

The little girl nods her head slightly and I go over to her and pick her up before carrying her into the guestroom and placing her on the bed. I snuggle under the covers beside her and she comes over to me and rests her head on my chest. I wrap my arm around her protectively and we lay there snuggled up together.

"Night Tana." Emily mumbles.

"Night Ems." I respond.

As Emily drifts off to sleep I can't help but marvel at the little girl in my arms. She is everything I'd ever want in my child and once again the possibility that she could be hits me. All I have to do is get Brittany to forgive me then ask her out and I could be with her. As these thought run through my head I feel my eyes grow heavy and eventually I drift off to sleep hugging Emily tightly in my arms.

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**A/N: So I hope the rushed style of it was okay and thanks for reading and please leave a review, I love hearing what you think :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Hi guys :) Thanks for all the follows, favorites and reviews I got on the last chapter I appreciate every single one :D So I decided I would update before I said as exams are boring me, who needs education anyway :P So i'm really not sure about this chapter but I wanted to write it so oh well.**

**njhousefan: Thank you for the review :) Santana doesn't just want a family, I was rushing when I was writing that so I think the point I was making didn't really come across, she wants to be with Brittany and Emily being a part of that would just be an awesome bonus. I think even if Britt is mad she'd never keep her daughter from someone she wants to spend time with, that's not her style. The drunk situation will be handled.**

**20kels: Thank you :) Glad you liked the Santana and Emily stuff.**

**Lanter: Glad you like them together :)**

**Miss Leggings: Thanks for the review :) That will be covered, part of it is Santana doesn't understand what it's like to be a parent so she won't get some of these things.**

**Leggofmyeggo: Thank you for your review, I always enjoy reading them :D I will cover the Brittany getting drunk thing in this chapter and part of Santana's reaction is that she doesn't understand what it is like to be a young single parent but she assumes she does. I'm probably just creating hate for Santana now, it's probably due to residual feeling from the break up :P Before Santana deals with her career I want to focus on her growing up and maturing with some influence from Britt, I think it's important that she matures first then deals with her job.**

**tinygleek: Thanks for the review :) Glad you like the Santana and Emily stuff :D**

**Emma: Thank you for the review :) Here's your update, glad you like the story :D**

"**So cuuuuuute!" Thank you :)**

"**Love this storrrrrryyyyyyy!" Thank you :D**

"**Please, Please, Please…" here you go :D**

"**I just finished…" Thank you :D Yeah I'm planning on it being mentioned in one of the chapters don't worry :) I like you're Emily telling her idea… I might use that ;D**

**Back to the story, all mistakes are mine :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the products or places mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Santana's POV

I wake up feeling the warm body I've been snuggled up to all night being removed from my grasp. Not wanting to lose the heat source I tighten my grip, stopping the person from removing the little girl beside me. Feeling Emily trying to be removed from my grasp again I groan and open my eyes to see who this child snatcher is. When my eyes finally focus on the person standing beside me I see bright blue eyes staring back at me.

"Good morning. Can I have my daughter back please?" She says tonelessly, trying to remove the sleeping girl from my grasp again.

I release my grip and let Brittany take Emily but she accidentally wakes her in the process. I watch as Emily wakes up and when she lazily glances at Brittany her eyes light up immediately and she throws herself at the older blonde.

"Mommy where were you! I had a bad dream and Tana said you couldn't come see me." The little girl says sadly clinging onto her mother for dear life.

"I know I'm so sorry baby. I got caught up and couldn't get here but I came as early as possible." She apologizes squeezing the little girl tightly.

I sit there awkwardly watching the two interact. Trying to move out of the bed quietly so I don't disturb the hugging blondes I start to leave the room. They notice me moving though so both turn to face me as I stand up off of the bed.

"It's okay mommy. Tana cuddled me and made the bad dreams go away." Emily says grinning over at me and I can't help the blush that creeps onto my face.

"Well that was very nice of her." Brittany says softly, she avoids looking towards me though.

I shuffle my feet awkwardly not knowing what really to do next. I want to apologize to Brittany and this might be the only chance I get but I really want to be alone with her for that. I also want to talk to her about last night, she was drunk and that doesn't seem like something a single mother should be doing.

"Hey Ems do you want some breakfast?" I ask cheerily.

"Yes please!" The girl says excitedly.

"How about you go ask Tina if she wants to go pick some food for breakfast from the corner café with you?" I suggest, it's a good way to get Emily out of the apartment so I can talk to Brittany.

"She's not awake." Emily says and I glance at the clock and notice it's only eight.

"Just wake her up. She'll be fine with it, just knock on her door. It's the one on the left." I reassure her.

"She won't be mad?" She asks dubiously.

"No she won't. Just tell her I sent you." I encourage her.

"Okay." She relents jumping off the bed and running out of the room.

I look over at Brittany as she has a knowing look on her face.

"Let me guess. You want to talk." She says monotonously.

"Yeah, I would like to talk, if that's okay with you?" I say and Brittany nods defeatedly. "I'm gonna go make some coffee first though."

I walk over to the kitchen and hit the coffee maker and just stand staring at it waiting for it to boil. I avoid looking back when I hear someone entering the room knowing it will probably be Brittany. When the coffee's done I pour it into a mug and sip at it then just wait not saying anything continuing to stare ahead of me. When I finally hear Tina and Emily shout that there headed out I turn to face Brittany unsurely.

Brittany's POV

"Firstly I wanted to apologize for what I said last time. I never meant to dismiss your rape, it's just… you never talk about it and I thought that meant you were okay. I realize now though that I was being selfish and I guess I was trying to ignore it. I know that sounds terrible but Britt, the thought of someone touching you like that drives me crazy, but worse the thought that I didn't notice that it'd happened to you makes me feel worse. I was your girlfriend Britt and I didn't even notice something was up with you and that's not right. I just let you leave, I should have known you would never say that stuff, I should have known something was wrong. I know why you left now and I accept that but I can't help but wonder how I didn't notice what was going on." Santana says apologetically.

"I didn't make it easy to notice." I reply in faux casualness. "I just wanted it to be me and you again and I didn't want it to get in the way so pushed it to the back of my mind."

There's a pause in the conversation and I can tell Santana want to ask something but she seems scared of asking. After a few minutes she looks down and lets out a sigh.

"We… we had sex though." She says hesitantly staring at the cup in her hands.

"Yeah we did. You didn't seem to notice that I wasn't really letting you return the favor as often as possible though and when you did I just focused on you and managed to ignore my feelings." I reply honestly.

"How did I not notice?" She says incredulously.

"Because I didn't want you to." I respond simply.

"I wish you've told me." She says sadly.

"So do I." I reply honestly.

She looks up at me and our eyes meet and I can see the sadness and regret in her eyes and I know that she feels guilty for everything she said about my attack last time. I can see she understands what she did wrong and I decide that I can forgive her for what she said. I smile at her to try show I forgive her for being selfish and she tentatively smiles back. I still want to deal with what happened last night though. She hung up on me and I was worried about Emily, she can't just tell me something's wrong and then cut me off. I literally ran here as soon as I woke up because I was worried something had happened after she'd had her nightmare.

"Why did you hang up on me last night?" I ask meeting her eyes.

"You were drunk." She states.

"Yeah I was, that doesn't mean you should just hang up. I was really worried about Em." I reply.

"You shouldn't have been getting drunk." She retorts. "I mean what about Emily?" She asks.

"She was being looked after." I respond simply.

"What if she had to go to hospital, what then? You're her only parent and she might need you." She disputes hesitantly, walking over to the table and leaning on it.

"She didn't need to go to hospital though, did she?" I point out. "You make it sound like I went out and got drunk leaving her alone. I made sure she was being looked after. I just wanted to go out drinking and relax." I say simply.

"You 'just wanted to go drinking'. So drinking's more important than your child?" She asks coolly.

"Stop twisting my words, of course nothing is more important than Emily. This was the first time I've been out since she was born. You have no right to judge my parenting skills, you've only known Emily for a month. You have no idea what I'm like as a mother." I argue exasperatedly.

"Well it's not my fault I've not been around Emily for that long. That's on you." She says angrily but I can hear the sadness lacing her words.

She slaps her hand over her mouth once the words come out and I can tell she realizes she shouldn't have said that. I thought we'd just covered all this in our 'talk' and now here she is attacking me over something she has no right to.

"Of course, everything's always my fault." I reply exasperatedly.

"I didn't mean to say that." She defends. "I just don't see how you could go out and get drunk when you have a kid."

"Are you really not getting this?" I sigh exasperatedly. "She was being looked after Santana. Tina works with children so she's pretty well qualified to care for her. I'm only 23 years old, yeah I have a kid but I took every step to make sure she was being looked after by people she was comfortable with and that would know what to do if anything went wrong. I should be allowed to go out and enjoy myself every so often. You must know I put Emily's wellbeing above my own, I love her and would do anything for her but I still need to relax every so often or I'm not going to be good for her."

Santana seems to think my words over for a while and then she sighs and her face softens but I can still see the curiosity still evident in her eyes.

"You're right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hung up on you last night or questioned you parenting skills." She apologizes. "Though that doesn't explain the sudden need to go out and get off your face." She says locking our eyes in an intense gaze.

"I just wanted to drink. Is that not allowed?" I ask exasperatedly, I thought we were about to finish this drama.

"That can't be the only reason." She responds bluntly.

"You really want to know the truth Santana?" I ask challengingly and she nods in response. "Fine then here we go. I needed to forget. I just wanted to forget everything that was happening between us. You dismissed something that hurt me so much and I wanted to forget. For one night I needed to forget everything that has ever happened between us. I was so mad at you for what you said but what was worse was that I still wanted to be around you, that I would still give anything to be with you again. I just wanted to be mad at you. Even when I tried to hate you I still wanted you, but then I remembered that you don't want me anymore, that we'll never be together again and it just depressed me. So yeah, I was drinking because of you, is that what you want to hear Santana?"

Santana looks at me unsurely and I can tell she's struggling knowing what to do next.

"Brittany-" The brunette starts and the frustration gone from her eyes and replaced with sadness. I cut her off though not wanting to hear her reject me again.

"Don't Santana. Just don't. I know what you're going to say. I know you're sorry for what you said and I forgive you okay? We're past that, I'm done being angry cause frankly that's just not me. But what I really can't hear you say is that we can't be together, I just can't hear you say that again." I sigh dejectedly. "I can't hear that cause when you say it my heart breaks a little more. I know you don't want to be with me but that doesn't change the fact that I want you. I know I hurt you but I can't pretend I don't feel anything though, I did that before and it didn't work." I finish tears now running down my face.

We stand there in silence after I finish just staring at each other. I think Santana is shocked by what I said as she's just standing there mouth hanging open. After a while she looks away from me and starts fiddling with her hands. I hear her mumble something but it's too quiet for me to make out the words.

"What?" I ask cautiously

"I said I do want to be with you." She says louder but there's still conflict in her voice.

When I hear her words I stand there shocked unable to know what to do. She wants me too… I want to cry, scream and shout at her all at the same time but instead my body just stands there motionless, frozen on spot.

"Of course I want you." She says gently. "Yeah you hurt me but I hurt you too. I do still want to be with you so much. It shouldn't be like this though, we failed twice already Britt and I don't know if I can handle a third failure." She says sadly. "I want to be with you so much but every time I get closer, something in my head keeps telling me that it won't work out."

"It would." I add quickly my body finally back under control.

Santana looks up from her spot at the table and when our eyes meet I can see the fear in her eyes and it nearly kills me. I can see she's afraid of being with me… no one should ever feel that way about the person they have feelings for. I seem to make Santana feel that way all the time though. When we were younger it was because I'm a girl and now it's because she's scared I'll leave her again or that we just won't work. I wish there was some magic way to show her that we will work, that if she was with me I'm sure we'd both try our hardest to show her how much we want to be with each other every day.

"You say that now but neither of us knows what our futures hold." She sighs dejectedly. "What if in the future you get some dance job and move away leaving me behind or you meet someone better than me? I mean I'm no one special, I'm just a bartender for god's sake."

"You are special." I say affectionately.

"You are too Britt. It's just… in my mind I've already lost you to a guy before, twice, so what's stopping you doing it again. I know you didn't really leave me for a guy the second time but I spent so long believing it that I can't just forget it. I want us to work out so bad but I'm scared and if I lost you again I wouldn't just lose you, I'd lose Ems too." She croaks tears beginning to fall from her eyes.

"You never lose me and as long as Emily wants to see you I would never stop the two of you meeting. She likes you and I'd just be hurting her by keeping you two apart. I never wanted to choose anyone other than you I just thought I was doing what was for the best, I was so just so scared and confused." I whisper moving closer to her and taking one of her hands in my own.

It's the first time we've had any physical contact in four years I notice the familiar tingles in my hands that I always get from touching Santana. Santana must feel it to as she glances down at our hands before locking eyes with me again.

"I just... it's… I don't know." She mutters sadly looking back at the floor.

Grabbing her chin I bring her face back up to look at me and gaze into her eyes pleadingly and she laughs softly as she looks at me. Taken aback by her sudden mood change I step away from her fearing the worst. As if sensing my worry Santana steps after me and grabs my hand and laughs again and I swear I see her mouth forming the smallest smile.

"You can't look at me like that. It's not fair." She says softly.

I stand there shocked from her words what does that mean. Does that mean she wants to be with me again? It's all just so confusing and I want to know what it all means.

"Does that mean…" I say not really knowing how to finish.

"We can… we can try. Things have to be slow though." She says gently and my face morphs into an enormous grin.

Unable to hold back I fling myself at her and pull her into a bone crushing hug. She laughs softly and wraps her arms around my back hugging me back tightly. This is the first time we've been like this in years and I can't help but feel at home with her arms wrapped around me and my tears soon turns to tears of joy. We stand wrapped up in each other and I take in the familiar scent and warmth of Santana that I've been missing all these years. It feels like we've been standing like this for hours when I hear a cough and reluctantly pull away from Santana to look over at the doorway where I see Quinn standing beaming at us.

"Please tell me this means you two got your heads out your asses and are officially back together." Quinn jokes lovingly, moving over to stand beside us. "I know I'm not supposed to be getting involved but I've totally been rooting for you two. Oh man Tina would totally kill me if she could hear me right now." She chuckles. "So, girlfriends?" She asks.

I look over at Santana and let her take the lead on this question unsure of what we really are now.

"Not yet." She says and my heart sinks. "But we're definitely getting there." She adds smiling over at me and I grin back as my heart just about melts with joy.

"Good." Quinn says smiling at both of us before walking over to the table and taking a seat.

Santana pulls me into a hug as she whispers in my ear. "Thank you."

"For what?" I ask curiously, hugging her back gently.

"For everything. I know I've been an ass lately but somehow you forgave me so thank you." She says looking at me adoringly.

"Thank you for everything too." I say lovingly, I swear I'm about to pass out from happiness.

I hear the front door open and grudgingly break away from Santana and a minute later I see Emily run into the kitchen with Tina close behind her with bags of food. The little girl spots me and runs over holding her arms up to be picked up. I bend down and lift her up placing her on my hip and kissing her on the cheek. She looks at my face and I can feel her tense in my arms when she takes in my appearance.

"Have you cried?" Emily asks tentatively.

"Happy tears baby don't worry." I reply and the little girl seems to relax in my arms.

"Why are you happy?" She questions curiously.

I'm stumped on how to answer that question. I don't want to tell her about Santana, not yet.

"Hey Ems what did you get us for breakfast." Santana interrupts in an obvious attempt to change the subject.

"Pancakes." The smaller blonde replies distracted from her earlier question and I turn and mouth a quick thank you to the Latina.

"Cool, you wanna eat then." The taller brunette asks moving to take a seat at the table.

We all move over to the table and sit down sharing out the food that Emily and Tina had bought. We eat breakfast slowly as we chat and eat enjoying the food together. When we finally finish Quinn stands up and clears the table and then her and Tina head off to the living room with Emily leaving me and Santana alone. I share a tentative glance with the Latina and its obvious both of us are unsure of how to act around one another now we are… well I don't really know what we are. Despite the uncertainty I can't help but grin every time I catch the Latina looking at me. Suddenly I hear laughing behind me so turn around and find Quinn looking at us obviously trying to hold in more laughter.

"What's up with you Fabgay?" Santana asks obviously irritated.

"You two are ridiculous. You made up what, an hour ago and you're already giving each other lovey dovey looks. I dread to think what the future will hold." She laughs and I chuckle tentatively in response but Santana just sits there in silence.

"Shut up Q." She retorts mockingly. "I need to go get dressed." She says excusing herself and leaving the room.

I watching her go smiling and then I turn back to the table and laying my head on it letting my mind blank.

"You okay Britt?" Quinn asks.

"Yeah it's just a lot has happened in not much time. I think my brains still catching up." I chuckle as I rest my forehead on the cool wood of the table.

"It's all good though right?" She asks curiously.

"Yeah. I was so mad at her this morning and it's weird to think how things have changed since then. I could tell she was sorry though and to be honest I find it kinda hard to be mad at her." I admit.

"You two do seem to have weak spot for each other." She comments happily.

"Yeah we do." I reply blissfully.

The conversation ends when I see the Latina walk into the kitchen, now wearing some sweats and a tight red tank. How she manages to look amazing like this I'll never know but it won't stop me from appreciating it.

"Quinn I think Tina and Emily want you in the living room." The brunette states but I think it's just an excuse to get Quinn out if the room.

"Oh right I'll go see what they need." The smaller blonde replies heading out of the kitchen.

When we're left alone the Latina walks over to the table taking the seat opposite me.

"I feel another talk coming." I joke trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh... I guess so. I really just wanted to talk more… about us." She says hesitantly.

"What about us?" I ask curiously.

"Where do we go now? I mean what are we even?" She asks confusion written all over her face.

"I don't know." I respond honestly.

"Okay… we'll I was hoping that you might want to go out for dinner on Sunday night and if that goes well we'll take it from there." she suggest.

"Miss Lopez was that you asking me out on a date?" I ask grinning over at her.

"It was." She replies smiling widely at me.

"And if this date doesn't go well?" I ask and her smile falters. "I know I'm ruining a good moment but I just need to know. I mean we still have so much to deal with and I need to know you're not going to just run at the first sign of things getting difficult." I reason.

"If it doesn't go well then… at… at least we tried." She counters hesitantly and I'm surprised at her sudden change of opinion. "I was thinking and… I can't focus on the past. I need to grow up and move on. I do want to try again and if I don't let go and mature there's no hope of this working out. You're amazing Britt and if we both put effort in we can have an amazing relationship. Sure I'm still worried and I might freak out sometimes but I don't want that to define our relationship. There's no pressure here Britt and I want to take things slow and really I'm… I guess I'm just happy we're trying."

"Me too." I reply.

I glance at my watch and spot the time and realize me and Emily should probably head off soon.

"I should get Emily home now. I'll see you on Sunday, if I can persuade Tina and Quinn to watch Emily." I say.

"I'll make them." Santana replies and I beam at her. "Drop her off at 7 tomorrow and we'll head out from there." She says grinning at me.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." I respond happily.

I head out the kitchen and find Emily already sitting on the couch with her bag packed ready to go. I hold out my hand for her and she takes it and I lead the way out of the apartment shouting or goodbyes on the way.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so the revelation of feelings may seem like it came out of nowhere and is a bit all over the place and I had planned on dragging their reunion out further but honestly what's going on with the show, cast and spoilers at the moment is just down right depressing me so I wanted to write happy fluffy relationship moments between the two of them and for that they need to be in a relationship. Don't worry all the angst will still get dealt with. Also I would just like to say that Brittana is endgame, no matter what the writers do we will keep fighting till they are back together again and even if that fails we will always have fanfic, Brittana can never truly be over :) **

***The next chapter is going to be Brittana's like fourth first date and I was wondering what you guys would like to see, bear in mind Santana's planning it, any and all suggestions are welcome :D***

**As always thanks for reading and please leave a review, I love hearing what you think :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey y'all :) Thank you for all the follows, favourites and reviews I got on the last chapter, I appreciate every single one :) So I am in class again, don't know whether to celebrate or cry, but unlike what I though was going to happen I now have even less time to write due to me suddenly getting a social life, I know it shocked me too, so this story will continue to only be updated once a week on Wednesdays (hopefully) like it has been over the holidays :) Anyway enough about me, back to you guys :P**

**PandaQueen: Here you go :)**

**tinygleek: Thanks for the review :) I'm glad you liked they talked things through and I hope you like what Santana planned.**

**Mina: Hope you like the date :)**

**HeyaBrittana95: Thanks :) I hope you like what I did with the date :)**

**danigleek: Thank you so much :D I'll keep writing until people stop reading, or you know until the story finishes :P**

**Okay back to the story, sorry for any mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any other products or places mentioned in this story.**

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Santana's POV

I've spent the past 24 hours in a state of anxious excitement waiting for Brittany and mine's date. I really am looking forward to it and I really hope she likes it but I can't help the feeling of nervousness that has settled in my gut. All this anticipation has led me to this moment and I'm standing in front of the mirror in my room freaking out about what to wear.

After half an hour of indecision I finally settle on a tight deep red dress that stops mid-thigh. Putting on little make up apart from the smoky eye shadow I use that emphasizes my chocolaty eyes.

At seven on the dot I hear a knock on the door but instead of answering it I hang back letting Tina go while I stand out of sight watching the door from the shadows like the creeper I am. When Tina pulls it open I see the gorgeous blonde I was hoping for standing smiling giddily. As I take in her appearance I can't help but gawk at how amazing Brittany looks, she's wearing a stunning dark purple dress that emphasizes her figure in all the right places and her hair is lightly curled and is framing her face deliciously. As I continue my creeping from afar I spot Emily standing beside Brittany grinning at Tina.

"Hey guys." Tina greets them.

"Hey T." Brittany responds cheerily.

"Hi T!" Emily replies excitedly.

"You exited for our movie night Em?" Tina asks grinning at the younger blonde.

"Yeah I brought my favorites! I can't wait!" Emily squeals excitedly bouncing on the spot.

I decide it's time to make my presence known so walk out of the shadows and towards the group. Brittany must hear me coming as she looks over as I approach, her mouth falls open when her eyes land on me and I feel a blush spread across my face and I grin coyly at her.

"Wow Tana you look real pretty." Emily compliments adorably and I beam at the little girl.

"Thanks Ems. I think you and your mommy look prettier though." I respond looking into Brittany's eyes.

Brittany and I stand staring at each other in silence until Tina coughs and reaches her hand out towards Emily.

"Em, why don't you say bye to your mom and come with me?" Tina suggests obviously trying to give me and Brittany space for our date.

"'Kay. Bye mommy, love you." Emily says as she hugs Brittany's legs tightly.

"Bye baby. Love you to." Brittany replies kneeling down and kissing Emily on the forehead.

Emily then moves away from her mother and takes Tina's out stretched hand, letting herself be led away into the living room.

When they're gone I turn back to the blonde in the door way and notice her holding something behind her back. I tilt my head trying to spot what it is and the blonde obviously spots my actions and pulls her hand out from behind her back revealing a beautiful lone yellow Rose with red tips.

"Britt it's gorgeous, thank you." I whisper taking the flower from the blonde's hands. "I asked you out though so really I should be the one buying you flowers." I say grinning at her.

"You're welcome. And I wanted to get it for you. I googled what the meaning of different color roses were and when I saw what this one meant I thought it was perfect." She rambles nervously while I smile at her finding it adorable.

"What does it mean?" I ask curiously.

"It means friendship and... falling in love." The blonde admits shyly looking down at the floor with pink tinted cheeks.

"Oh." I reply unsure of how I'm supposed to respond to that.

Love is a big word and I know Brittany and I have been there before and I probably still do love her, her proclamation of her possible feelings kinda throws me though. I see Brittany's face morph into panic at my reaction and she starts fiddling nervously with her hands.

"I don't mean I love you, of course I don't... wait that's not right... I mean we've not been on a date yet and it's too soon. Sorry." She rambles apologetically.

"It's fine Britt, breathe." I reassure her taking one of her hands in my own.

Brittany glances down at our intertwined hands and a see a bashful smile cross her face. She squeezes my hand and looks unbelievingly at it. She continues to squeeze it intermittently and I watch her with a curious look on my face. After about a minute she looks up and catches my eyes and blushes embarrassedly.

"Sorry I was just checking this was real." She chuckles cutely.

"I was just wondering the same thing." I reply coyly and an adorable blush tints Brittany's cheeks.

"So smooth Lopez." She giggles grinning at me.

"You know me, got all the girls swooning." I tease playfully.

"We'll see." She responds playfully.

"We will." I reply. "Are you ready to go?" I ask.

"Yeah." She responds with a nod.

"Great." I smile. "I'll just go put this in water then we can go."

I run of into the hall and pull the wilting flowers out of the vase on the table and replace it with the rose. I step back and grin ridiculously at the lone rose before turning away and heading back to Brittany.

"Shall we leave then madam." I joke as I hold my arm out for her.

"Capital idea." Brittany responds before wrapping her arm around mine and letting me lead her out of the apartment and downstairs to get a cab.

Brittany's POV

When we finally get out of the cab I see a fancy restaurant in front of us. It looks like one of those places where movie stars would go out to dinner and I can't help but worry that I'm going to be so out of place in there.

"This place looks so fancy. How'd you find it?" I ask as Santana takes my hands and starts to walk me towards the entrance.

"One of the patrons at the bars friend owns it so he hooked me up." She replies grinning over at me.

She takes my hand and leads me towards the entrance of the building where there's a man in a tux waiting at a podium. He gives us an odd look as we approach and I swear he look slightly disapproving.

"Good evening ladies." The man greets with a fake smile. "How may I help you tonight?"

"We have a reservation under Lopez." Santana responds politely.

"Let me just check." He says and then starts looking through the book in front of him. "I'm sorry miss but there's no Lopez here." He says faux apologetically.

"What, no that's not possible my friend Tony Hills was going to book it for me." Santana says obviously panicking slightly.

"Well there is a reservation under Hills." The man says. "Unfortunately we can't let you have that one though."

"But it's meant for us." Santana reasons desperately.

"I'm sorry miss but we check people's names on id for reservations so unless you have Mr. Hills id on you we can't let you in." He says and I really am not getting the feeling he's sorry at all.

"Come on this is bull. That's our reservation." Santana disputes, getting angry now.

"I'm sorry miss but it's not in your name." The man says giving us a fake sympathetic look.

"This is utter shit, I told you the name that was there! It obvious it's meant for us!" Santana argues.

"Miss, please calm down or I'll have to call security." The man warns.

"San let's just go somewhere else." I try and reason, tugging on her hand to try and lead her away.

"No Britt this was supposed to be perfect, we were supposed to go to a fancy restaurant and have an amazing time." She says desperately and I can see the disappointment in her eyes.

"Honey come on, we can just go somewhere else. I'll still be amazing." I say reassuringly.

"Fine." She relents. "You." She says pointing at the man at the podium. "You're on my list."

The man gives her a confused look and as we turn to walk away I swear I see a smug grin on his face.

"Where to?" I ask, trying to forget the encounter with that annoying man.

Santana stops stands thinking for a moment before her eyes finally light up and she turns to me with a devious smile.

"Okay, I have an idea but it's not exactly that fancy. I think you'll still like it though." She says reassuringly.

"I'm sure I will." I encourage. "Lead the way."

Santana smiles and nods and then she holds her hand out to hail a cab and one stops almost instantly, at least there's one benefit to us looking hot tonight. We climb into the cab and Santana leans forward and whispers something to the driver and he nods and takes starts driving.

"So do I get to know where we're going?" I ask innocently.

"Nope." She responds cutely. "I want it to be a surprise."

"Okay, do I at least get to know what we're going to be doing?" I ask.

"You'll find out in time. Have patience." She says adorably.

We ride in the cab for ten minutes before we pull over and climb out. While Santana goes to pay I look around us trying to work out where we are. I don't recognize the street we're on but that's not really that surprising as even though I may have been living in New York for over a month I still barley know my way around. Santana walks up beside me and grabs my hand before pulling me down the street towards a little corner store. We stop outside and Santana pulls me to the side of the door.

"Wait here. I'll be five minutes tops." She says as she lets go of my hand and hurries into the store.

I do as she says and stand at the side of the doorway waiting for her to come back. It's pretty obvious what she's doing, I'm guessing she's getting food for some kind of picnic but I'm still intrigued as to where we're headed towards. After standing for five or so minutes Santana comes back outside with a plastic bag in hand and takes my hand in hers again and starts leading me down the sidewalk again.

"So what food did you get?" I ask.

"Nice guess." She smiles back. "You'll find out soon, just have patience."

After walking for about five minutes I start to recognize where we are and then I finally see where I guess we're headed. I spot Santana's building ahead and can't help the confused expression that flits across my face.

"Santana, we're not having a picnic in your apartment are we cause as sweet as that is Tina, Quinn and Emily are there and I don't really what our first re-date to be a spectator sport." I say carefully.

Santana chuckles cutely and turns to face me with a grin on her face. "No don't worry, I do have to pop in quickly though. Just wait and you'll see." She replies confidently. "Plus I love the fact you just used the phrase 'first re-date'." She says chuckling to herself.

"Hey it's what it is." I defend. "And you keep saying that but I really just wanna know now." I joke pushing her arm playfully.

She just smiles and shakes her head before pulling me through the front door of her building and towards the elevator. We step on and head for the third floor and when we get there she pulls me towards her apartment and we stop by the.

"Stay here. I'm gonna try sneak in and out without them noticing." She says before letting go of my hand and quietly opening the door in front of me.

Standing awkwardly in the hall alone I rack my mind for where we could be going. This could just be a pit stop I guess but I really don't know where she'd take me next. It's cute and all that she wants it to be a surprise but my curiosity is burning and I just want to know everything. After standing around for a couple of minutes I see the door open and Santana steps out with a duffel bag in one hand and the plastic bag in the other.

"I managed it without them spotting me." She says triumphantly. "Right follow me."

She walks off towards the end of the hall opposite the elevator and I follow after her completely confused. As we get to the end of the hall I notice a fire door to the left and Santana pushes it open and ushers me through and up the set of stairs on the other side. When I reach the top I see another door and push it open and find the roof of the building on the other side.

"San what're we doing here?" I ask cautiously.

"Well I remember you saying in Senior year that when you lived in New York you were going to have dinner on the roof of a building like they do in those romantic movies, so I thought I'd make your dream into a reality." She says sweetly, pulling the duffle of her shoulder and pulling a blanket out of it and laying it on the ground. "I know this building doesn't have the best view, cause I mean it's only three stories high and yeah it's pretty cold but I brought blankets and I know it's pretty lame but I thought-"

"It's perfect San." I reassure her. "I can't believe you remembered that." I say in awe looking at the blushing Latina in front of me.

"Of course I did. I put it on my bucket list of things for us to do when we moved after senior year but then you had to repeat and… well life got in the way." She says sadly.

"You had a bucket list?" I ask as I move to sit on the blanket on the floor.

"Yeah, it was just random stuff. I've done most of it but there still a few things left. Like this." She says casually as she comes and sits down next to me.

"What else was on it?" I ask curiously.

"Well there was all the classic stuff like visit the empire state building and see a real Broadway show. Then there was the other stuff like get drunk in Times Square… you know the stupid childish stuff." She says dismissively.

"That doesn't sound stupid, it sounds pretty fun actually." I respond reassuringly.

"Well it kinda was. Jackson and I had an awesome time." She chuckles happily.

"One minute, Jackson your boss?" I ask and she nods her head. "You got drunk with your boss?" I ask incredulously.

"He more like my brother than my boss." She responds simply. "He's a really good friend and we thought it'd be something fun to do when we both had a night off."

"Wow. He seems pretty cool." I respond cheerfully.

"He is. He even gave me my birthday off next week even though I've missed a shit ton of shifts." She says gratefully

"Oh my god it's your birthday next week." I squeal as I suddenly remember that November 1st is on Wednesday. "It's in like three days." I say excitedly turning and beaming at her.

"Wow. You seem more excited than I do." She responds with a laugh.

"How can you not be excited about your birthday? You're turning 24!" I enthuse bouncing up and down slightly where I'm sitting.

"It's not really that big a deal, I mean it's just another year of my life I've done nothing with." She says flippantly but I can hear the sadness underlying her words.

"You've not done nothing. You have an awesome life. And if you really are unhappy there's still plenty of time to change stuff. You're still young." I say gently while I smile at her encouragingly.

"Yeah you're right. Sorry, we're supposed to be on a date. Happy stuff only." She says with a laugh and then reaches behind her and pulls the food out from the plastic bag behind her.

She lays out an assortment of my favorite foods in front of me and a huge grin erupts on my face and I can't help but stare at her. She looks up when she's done laying the food out and I catch her eyes trying to tell her silently how awesome all of this is.

"I got your favorites, I know it's not very healthy but I thought it would be better than nothing." She says shyly.

"It's great. Thank you." I say as I lean forward and pick up a packet of Dots that are lying on the blanket.

"Good." She responds with a smile and picks up some chips and starts eating.

We sit in silence for a while, eating the food that's in front of us. It's not an uncomfortable silence though, it never is with Santana, it's calm and relaxing. When we finally finish eating the assortment of junk food that was laid out in front of us I sit back and lean on my arms behind me so I can stare up into the sky.

"I can't see any stars." I point out sadly, I loved looking at the stars when I was little, I used to think they were made of glitter.

"Yeah the light here makes it pretty hard to see them." She says with a sigh. "That was one good thing about Lima, you could always see the stars."

I nod happily remembering how clear the Lima skies used to be due to the fact there was barley anything other than houses in the area.

"Do you miss Lima?" I ask randomly.

Santana look at me and thinks for a moment and then she sighs and leans forward so she's got her elbow resting on the ground with her head in her palm.

"Honestly no. I mean I miss my family sure but I love it here so much, I have Quinn and Tina and now you're here it's even better." She says sweetly sending me a cute smile.

I smile at her in response but can't help feel a little jealous when she mentions her family. Sure I can understand why she misses her family but she can just pick the phone up and call them if she wants to. I have no way of contacting mine at all and even if I did I don't know if they'd talk to me, I'd never want Santana to not have her family I'm just being selfish being jealous of her. Santana must notice my change in demeanor as she shuffles closer to me and lifts up my hand and places it gently in her lap with her own.

"You okay Britt-Britt?" She asks carefully.

"Yeah. I'm just thinking." I respond vaguely, not wanting to bring down the mood of our date.

"About?" She encourages and I know she's just trying to be supportive but I really don't want to talk about this.

"About Halloween." I lie saying the first thing that comes into my head "It's only two days away and me and Em don't have costumes or anywhere to go. I don't really want to take her round knocking on doors but I really don't have many other options."

I have actually been worrying about this. I don't really know if people in New York would be okay with a three and a half year old girl turning up on their door and asking for candy. I mean I'm sure there are friendly people here but I can also bet there are some not so friendly people.

"Well we were going to hang out and watch scary movies. You can join us if you want." She suggests casually.

"Thanks for the offer but I really want Emily to be able to trick or treat. I just don't know where to go that'd be good for it." I say with a sigh.

Suddenly the Latina turns towards me and I spot a huge grin on her face.

"I have an idea." She says excitedly. "Dress up and bring Em here for Halloween and I promise it'll be fun."

"What are you planning?" I ask curiously.

"You'll have to wait and find out but I think you'll like it." She reassures me.

"Okay, we'll come round." I say with a grin.

"Awesome." She cheers with a dorky fist pump and I can't help but laugh at her.

I beam at her as she blushes slightly from her behavior and I can't help but think this is the Santana I've really missed, the dorky sweet girl who always made me feel special. Sure she may have had her HBIC attitude in high school but when it came to me she was always sweet and caring. I love it when she just relaxes and lets out her goofy side and we can just laugh and have fun together.

"Please pretend I didn't just do a fist pump." She mumbles embarrassedly and I laugh again.

"No." I respond sweetly. "It was super cute and dorky."

Santana blushes harder and I can tell she's really embarrassed as is usually hard to tell when she's blushing but right now it's painfully obvious.

"Oh shush." She chuckles. "I'm not cute or dorky. I'm a broody and mysterious badass."

"Sure Sanny." I sing song. "You can tell me that all you want but Em told me about the pajama party you had." I tease and she drops her face and sighs dramatically.

"She betrayed me. It was supposed to be a secret." She jokes.

"Don't worry. I think it makes you even more awesome." I say grinning at the still blushing girl beside me.

"God you and your daughter are destroying my rep." She jokes playfully. "First the pajama party and now here I am blushing like an idiot."

"San don't be silly, we're giving you a better rep. I'd have cute and dorky Santana over HBIC badass Santana any day." I say honestly.

She turns back towards me and a gentle smile appears on her face.

"You do seem to bring out the best in me." She says adorably and I nearly melt into a puddle.

I smile coyly at her compliment and a blush of my own spreads across my face. I notice Santana shiver in front of me and glance down at my watch and see it's eleven, wow time really does fly when you're having fun.

"We can head in if you're cold." I suggest.

"Okay sure, it's getting late anyway." She responds happily and stands up and offers her hand to me.

I take her hand and she pulls me up after her and then goes to pick up all the blankets and wrappers spread out across the roof. She then takes my hand again and leads me towards the door and we head back into the building. Once we get to her door she stops me and turns and smiles at me.

"I know this wasn't a huge fancy date like I had planned but I had a really fun time tonight." She says endearingly.

"It was better than a fancy date." I reply honestly. "I had so much fun." I say and the Latina's face breaks out into an enormous grin.

We stand in silence for a moment not exactly sure what we're supposed to do next until Santana finally breaks it.

"I kinda wish I could walk you to your door." Santana says and I'm slightly confused.

"Why?" I ask.

"Cause then I'd know you and Em got home safe and I could kiss you goodnight." She says bashfully and I smile at her adorableness.

"You don't need to drop me off at home to do that." I respond suggestively and I see the hopeful look in her eyes.

She seems to hesitate for a moment before she finally gently leans forward and I mimic her actions stopping when we're only a few centimeters apart. I wait for her to make a move since she's the one who wanted to take thing slow and I don't know if this crosses a line, she did suggest it though. She leans forward and closes the last few centimeters and our lips meet in a brief sweet kiss. It last for only a couple of seconds but when she pulls away I can still feel where her plump lips touched mine. She moves so there is a small gap between our faces and I lock eyes with her feeling a massive grin take over my face.

"Still as good as I remember." She says sweetly and I blush and look away shyly.

"Such a sweet talker Lopez." I tease playfully and she just grins again.

I'm about to say more when the door beside us suddenly opens and me and Santana swiftly move further apart. I turn and see Quinn standing in the doorway with a grin on her face and I'm sure by now my face is bright red from all the blushing I'm doing.

"Oh sorry, I didn't interrupt did I?" Quinn teases smirking at me and Santana.

"You are such a bitch Q." Santana say simply glaring at Quinn.

"That's not very nice Sanny. I thought you would be all happy and giggly after your date." Quinn teases again and I see Santana getting even more embarrassed.

"Quinn be nice." I say sternly, she shouldn't tease Santana so much plus I'm kinda pissed she interrupted our date.

"Sorry Britt." She says and I look at her motioning to Santana. "Sorry Santana." Quinn says reluctantly. "Got I'm not supposed to be the whipped one here that's meant to be Santana." Quinn teases and I just sigh at her.

"Quinn can you go get Em." I say trying to get rid of the blonde.

"Sure." Quinn replies disappearing back into the apartment.

"God I hate her sometime." Santana sighs.

"Yeah but nothing can ruin this evening." I say smiling at the Latina ecstatically.

"No you're right. Tonight was amazing." She says with a smile.

Quinn reappears with a sleeping Emily in her arms and her rucksack over her shoulder. After taking the bag from Quinn and putting it on I then lift Emily from her arms and perch her carefully on my hip.

"Well I better go." I say sadly. "I had a lot of fun tonight. I'll see you on Tuesday."

"Yeah see you then." Santana replies grinning at me before I turn around and walk away down the hall.

Santana's POV

After watching Brittany leave I turn and walk past Quinn into the apartment and the blonde quickly follows after me.

"How was it?" Quinn asks nosily.

"Perfect." I respond simply before walking off into my room.

* * *

**A/N: There you have it, a date :) This was all written today so sorry for the quality it was pretty rushed and I didn't get much chance to go over it. I know it ended up a little cliché and fluffy but hey clichés are clichés for a reason :P I also used this chapter to set up some future stuff so the random convo's are related to that. Thanks for reading and please leave a review or PM me, I love hearing what you think and they inspire me to write :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello :) Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews I got on the last chapter, I hit 100 reviews yay! :D So this chapter contains an excess of fluff, be warned! I'm having a shit week and I just saw the latest Brittana spoiler's and it really didn't help so I wanted to give you all happy stuff so I did. It is a Halloween chapter and I know it's the complete wrong season for that but oh well :P **

**d****anigleek: Haha I hope you didn't hurt yourself :P**

**Sarah Pimz: Thanks :)**

**PandaQueen: Thank you :)**

**HikariKou: Thanks :) I will.**

**tinygleek: Thank you :)**

**Mina: Thanks :)**

* * *

Brittany's POV

The days following Santana and I's date have passed quickly and when Halloween finally arrives I'm buzzing in anticipation to see what Santana has planned. It was so sweet of her to offer to do this for Emily and I can't wait to see what exactly she has planned. She had even invited Luke and Adam much to Tina and Emily's delight.

It's an hour before the party and Emily and I are sitting getting ready, she insisted on dressing up as Batgirl where as I settled on a unicorn, all I have to do was wear white and a horn. She looks adorable in her black cloak and mask and is ridiculously exited for our special city Halloween.

We head out and make our way to Santana's, bouncing excitedly in anticipation as we walk. When we finally get there we find Quinn standing by the front door in an amazing vampire costume with a huge grin on her face.

"Well hello there strangers, what brings you to this part of town so late." She jokes in an awful Transylvanian accent flashing her fake teeth.

"Mommy, why is Q talking so funny?" Emily asks curiously beside me.

"Baby I'd just go with it." I chuckle.

"Are you here for the trick or treat extravaganza!" She shouts adding a dramatic laugh at the end and Emily and I just laugh at her silliness.

"What's got you giggling?" I hear and turn around to see Adam and Luke standing behind me. I look at Adam who is dressed as a football player with huge shoulder pads on and black stripes on his face, it looks really weird on his gangly body but he still manages to pull it off. As I take in Luke's costume I realize he's dressed as Robin. At least I know why Emily wanted to be Batgirl so much now; sometimes they are just too cute.

"Q's being silly." Emily explains smiling at the newcomers.

"I was trying to be dramatic." Quinn huffs and I turn and grin at her.

"You were doing really good Q." I comfort her but the look on her face says she doesn't believe me.

"Well anyway, now you're all here if you'll follow me upstairs please." She says opening the door and gesturing for us to walk through.

We all walk into the building and follow Quinn upstairs to her apartment. When we get there she opens the front door with a face splitting smile on her face and then runs through it and off down the hall leaving is alone in the doorway.

"Huh?" I murmur confused as to why Quinn had run off and left us.

I walk in to the apartment, the others following behind me and look around. There is an arrow stuck to the wall with a note stuck below is so I walk over to it and peel it off, opening it to read.

_Now's the time for trick or treat. Knock on the doors and see who you meet._

I read the note written in Santana's familiar handwriting out loud before glancing down the hall and spotting that the bedroom doors have numbers on them. I take Emily's hand hesitantly before walking into the hall and stopping at the door on the left with a 1 on it.

"You wanna knock on it?" I ask Emily

She nods excitedly before reaching out and hitting the door. There's the sound of shuffling behind it before it swings open. My mouth falls open in awe by what I'm met with on the other side. Tina is standing in the doorway in a mummy costume but what is amazing is the room behind her. It's been decorated to look like a tomb and there are spider webs and fake Egyptian relics everywhere, it looks amazing.

"How may I help you?" Tina asks and I just stare at her dumbfounded.

"Huh?" I say again, completely confused by what's going on.

"Trick or treat." Emily shouts and that's when I see the candy in a bucket Tina's holding.

"Ah you're visitors for Halloween, well why don't you step into my tomb and I'll show you around." Tina says as she grins at Emily and Luke.

As were all lead in I can't help but laugh and turn around to Adam.

"Bet your loving this, finally getting in Tina's bedroom." I whisper at him teasingly and he responds by half choking and turning bright red, sending a glare my way.

"Wow Miss Chang this is so cool." Luke whispers as he looks around the fake Egyptian tomb.

"You can call me Tina Luke and thanks." She says as we arrange ourselves in the small room.

"Can we have candy now?" Emily asks looking hopefully at the sweets Tina has put down on the dresser.

"Well I was thinking how about you tell me a joke and then I'll give you some candy?" Tina suggests.

"Okay! I have a really good one." Emily says enthusiastically. "How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?"

"I don't know." Tina responds dramatically curious.

"Ten-tickles." Emily shouts excitedly.

I can't help the laugh that escapes my mouth at her joke it's just such an Emily joke.

"That a good one Em." Tina chuckles lifting the sweets up and handing her a few in a Halloween bag. "Have you got a joke Luke?"

"Uh huh. What do you call a pig that does Karate?" Luke asks enthusiastically.

"I don't know Luke, What do you call a pig that does Karate?" Tina responds.

"A pork chop!" He squeals.

I laugh again because these jokes are really just cheesy but Emily and Luke seem so proud of themselves so I just laugh along with them. Tina hands some candy to Luke before putting the bag back down and turning to face us.

"We'll thanks for coming I hope you come again next year." Tina says as she opens the door and ushers us out through it.

When we're in the hallway again we all decide we're probably supposed to go to door number 2 now so head over and this time it's Luke that knocks. Quinn answers in her vampire costume and her room behind her is decorated in a graveyard style. We all stare at it in amazement as Quinn ushers us into her room and tells Emily and Luke to tell her a joke just like in Tina's room.

"Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?" Emily asks.

"I don't know Em." Quinn replies smiling widely at the little girl.

"He had no body to go with!" She says excitedly.

I laugh as the two children giggle furiously at the joke.

"Right Luke you got one?" Quinn asks looking over at the little boy who is still giggling at Emily's joke.

"What did one Sea say to the other." Luke asked excitedly.

"I don't know Luke" Quinn responded.

"Nothing it just waved!" Luke laughs.

Quinn chuckles lightly and reaches over for the candy putting a little bit in each of their bags. She then walks over to the door and opens it gesturing for us to go.

"Thank you for visiting my lair." Quinn says in her Transylvanian accent. "You better go before I decide that you look like a tasty snack." Quinn cackles, fake lunging at Emily making her run out the room laughing and screaming happily.

Emily runs over to the third and final door and stands in front of it bouncing excitedly waiting for us to get there. When we're all gathered around the door I lean forward and knock on it excitedly. After a couple of seconds the door opens and Santana is standing in front of me with the most gorgeous smile ever plastered across her face. She's in a space women costume consisting of a tight short white skirt and a white track jacket with the NASA symbol on it unzipped to reveal a little cleavage. The outfit may be a little revealing for a kids Halloween but that doesn't stop me appreciating it or the way my mouth falls open and practically drools as I look at her.

I feel a tug on my hand and realize I've missed her talking to us and I'm now being led into her room which is decorated to look like the inside of a space ship. We all stand waiting to see what to do next and I assume the room's going to be like the rest of them.

"Okay by now you know the drill. Jokes please." Santana asks grinning down at Luke and Emily.

"I got one." Luke shouts animatedly. "Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains. Pull yourself together!"

We all laugh and then turn to Emily waiting for her to say her joke.

"Okay I'll tell you one of mommy's favorites." Emily says enthusiastically. "What do you call a duck with fangs?"

"I don't know Ems, what do you call a duck with fangs?" Santana responds.

"Count Duckula!" Emily giggles.

"I like that one." Santana enthuses as she reaches for the candy and hands them each some.

"Right if you'll all follow me I have more stuff for you in the living room." Santana says as she leads us out her room.

We follow her down the hall and when we get to the living room we walk in and I spot Halloween games set up around the room and Tina and Quinn standing in the middle grinning at us excitedly. When the kids spot them they run off excitedly dragging Adam behind them but I hang back grabbing Santana's wrist. I pull her into a tight hug and at first she's stiff in my arms surprised by our sudden closeness but she soon relaxes and melts into the hug wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head on my shoulder. After a couple of minutes we pull apart and I look at Santana with a huge grin and a blush spreads across her face and she looks down at the ground scuffing her feet on the wooden floor.

"What was that for?" Santana asks shyly, looking at me questioningly.

"For this." I say gesturing to the room around us. "For going to such an effort for Em, she is having so much fun."

"It was nothing." Santana says waving her hand nonchalantly.

"It's not nothing, it's amazing. Thank you so much." I say smiling at her softly.

"It wasn't just me. Tina and Quinn helped a lot too." She says gesturing over to the pair who are helping Emily and Luke bob for apples.

"I'll thank them later. I know it was all your idea though and I really can't thank you enough. I was worried Em wouldn't get to have a proper Halloween this year but you did this and it's amazing and she loves it so much so thank you, really, it means a lot to me that you would do all this for Emily." I say sincerely taking one of Santana's hands in my own and squeezing it gently.

"To be honest it wasn't just for Ems, I did it for you too. I know how much you used to love Halloween." She admits smiling bashfully at me and stroking her thumb across the back of my intertwined hand.

I smile at her adoringly and squeeze her hand again.

"We should go join the others." She says pulling on m hand and leading us towards the group.

When we get there Emily cheers happily and runs over to us grabbing our linked hands and leading us over to the bucket of apples so we can have a go.

* * *

We spent the next couple of hours playing games and eating candy and now I'm sitting on the couch with Emily passed out across my lap and Luke asleep cuddled into my side. The others are still playing Halloween games but they've changed them a bit now since he kids are asleep and there versions are slowly turning more adult.

"How about we add alcohol to this one?" Quinn suggests excitedly.

"I don't know. Luke and Emily are here it might be a little inappropriate." Santana says glancing over at me and the kids on the couch.

"Says the girl who's dressed as a space-whore." Quinn retorts jokingly.

"Hey, Sanny doesn't look like a whore. She looks awesome." I say mock glaring at Quinn. "And you guy should have fun I'll take Emily and Luke back to my place for the night." I say as I stand up and lift Emily so she's cuddled to my chest.

"Britt it's only 10, you can't leave." Quinn says desperately. "You can all stay here. Why don't you put them in the guest room for the night and you and Adam can take my room and I'll bunk with Santana."

"Quinn that's really nice of you to offer but I don't want to get in the way." I say as I try to lift Luke off the couch.

"Britt it's fine, really. We won't even drink if that's what you're worried about." Quinn pleads. "And Tina can take Emily and Luke to day-care tomorrow."

"Luke and Em would have to go in there costumes and that wouldn't work but actually we don't actually have class tomorrow." I respond.

"Perfect then! Even more reason for you to stay." Quinn reasons and my will is slowly fading.

I look over at Adam and he shrugs his shoulder indicating he's happy with whatever and I sigh resignedly and nod at the blonde.

"Yes! I'll go grab some clothes for Em and Luke." Quinn replies excitedly running out the room.

I look over at Santana who has been quiet all throughout the exchange and wonder if I should have asked her if it was okay to stay first. I know were dating but I don't know if that means she's okay with me staying here. She obviously senses my worry as she walks over to me and places a reassuring hand on my arm.

"It'd be good for you to stay. Plus it's my birthday tomorrow and you being here in the morning would be a pretty awesome gift." She says smiling bashfully at me.

"Yeah, that'd be awesome." I respond grinning at her.

I start to make my way to the guest room struggling with the two kids in my arms and Santana sees my difficulty and rushes after me and lifts Emily from my arms. I smile gratefully at her as I readjust Luke and continue on my way to the bedroom. When I get there I see Quinn holding two large t-shirts out for me and take them from her laying Luke on the bed as Santana puts Emily down beside him. The others leave and I quickly change the kids and tuck them into bed before kissing them on the forehead and leaving them to sleep.

When I get back to the living room everyone is sitting around sipping on bears and Tina holds one out for me but I politely decline thinking one of us has to be sober in case the kids need anything. I walk over to the loveseat and sit down next to Santana and notice she's drinking Soda.

"You aren't drinking?" I ask curiously.

"I figured you wouldn't be and I didn't want you to feel left out." She replies staring at her fidgeting hands in her lap.

"That's sweet." I state and then lean forward and kiss her on the cheek.

She blushes shyly at me and just nods her head. I hear a laugh from the other side and look up and see Quinn staring at us with a smirk on her face.

"Look at Sanny being all shy and shiz. What happened to the HBIC from Lima Heights?" Quinn teases.

"Shut up Q." Santana bites glaring at the blonde across the room.

"Stop the violence." I joke looking between the two of them and they both smile as they hear my words.

The room's silent for a moment before Tina speaks up from her seat on the couch.

"So what do you want to do now?" Tina ask looking around the room at all of us.

"I know let's play truth or dare." I say excitedly bouncing up and down a little in my seat.

"Really B, I've not played that since middle school." Quinn says sceptically.

"Yeah! Come on it'll be fun!" I encourage.

"Hey how about never have I ever." Tina suggests trying to find a compromise.

"I could work with that." Quinn agrees.

"Yeah me too." I add smiling over at Tina and Quinn on the couch.

"Okay, everyone in a circle on the floor." Quinn instructs.

We all stand from our seats and make our way to the middle of the room and form a circle around the coffee table. I take a seat in between Santana and Adam and get comfy. Me and Santana are both not drinking alcohol and it seems kind of against the rules of never have I ever but I don't think we're playing to get drunk really, just for fun.

"Okay since it was Tina's idea she can go first." Quinn says.

"Okay, never have I ever… been blonde?" Tina says unsurely.

"Wow Tina that was a good one." Quinn says jokingly as she takes a sip and I take one as well.

"Hey it's not easy!" Tina defends pouting over at Quinn. "You try."

"Okay, never have I ever had sex in a public place." Quinn says with a grin and I take a confident sip from my drink as Santana discreetly brings her drink up to her lips.

"Britt!" Adam gasps incredulously.

"Oh details, when? Who with?" Quinn says excitedly.

"Em…" I start awkwardly. I don't really know if Santana would be okay with me talking about the time I was think of since she is the other person involved so I use one of my other examples. "Sophomore year, Puck." I say with a faux smile.

I look over at Santana beside me and realize she's not said a single word since we started playing. She's looking down at her lap and I can tell she was thinking of the same time as me from the look in her eyes. I put my hand on her knee to get her attention and when she looks up I smile at her reassuringly and she smiles back moving her hand the squeeze my one that is on her lap.

"Britt your go." Quinn encourages.

I pause to think of a question when a devilish idea comes into my head and a grin spreads across my face.

"Never have I ever had a crush on a guy or an Asian in this room." I smirk watching for Tina and Adams reactions.

"Britt that's way to specific." Tina argues.

"I don't think it is." Quinn argues. "Let's vote, all that think that's an okay question raise your hand."

Santana, Quinn and my hands all raise into the air and to our surprise after a moment's hesitation Adams does to.

"Okay then, four to one. Drink if you have." I cheer merrily.

I watch as Tina and Adam both glance at each other and then they both tentatively raise their glasses to their lips and me and Quinn break out into cheers.

"Shut up guys." Tina says embarrassedly. "I'm going to go get another drink." She says as she stands up and makes her way over to the kitchen.

"I'll help." Adam says quickly and moves after Tina as Santana and Quinn wolf whistle as they leave.

"You guys shouldn't tease her so much." I scold but I can't hide the grin I'm wearing that eliminates all the seriousness from my words.

"I think they'd be awesome together though." Quinn respond grinning at the Latina beside me.

"That doesn't mean you should force them together though." I reason and suddenly realize the parallel I'm drawing between mine and Santana's and their relationship, if people had tried to force us together it would have made me uncomfortable.

"Okay I'll back off." Santana relent. "I still think they'd be adorable together though."

"Me too." Quinn agrees.

"I mean Tina's not really dated anyone since Kevin and they seem good for each other." Santana adds casually.

"Who's Kevin?" I ask curiously.

"Oh he was Tina's boyfriend in sophomore year. They dated for like eight months before they broke up." She responds.

"Oh." I reply simply.

I still remember when I thought her and Mike where going to last forever, it's weird to think of her with other people, well except Adam cause those two are so cute together. It makes me realize just how much of my friend's lives I missed out on. I haven't even asked about any of the other Glee members since I started talking to Tina, Quinn and Santana again.

"Hey I have a Question. Do you still talk to any of the other members of New Directions?" I ask curiously.

"I talk to Mercedes and Sam every couple of weeks and I think Tina still talks to Blaine at NYADA but they're on different timetables so like never see each other. Quinn gets emails from Puck every so often and I email Sugar." She responds and I sigh sadly.

We were once a group of people that considered each other family and now nearly all of us have drifted apart.

"Do you know where they all are?" I ask questioningly.

"Well last I knew Rachel and Kurt are somewhere in New York trying to get on Broadway but I've never bumped into them in the city so they might have left, Blaine might now but I don't talk to him." Quinn responds. "Sam and Artie are in L.A. Sam's trying to get acting jobs and Artie's in his last year at college majoring in film studies. Mike is on tour as part of a dance troupe. Mercedes is where ever there are singing jobs, I think she's in Chicago right now. Puck is touring as a guitarist for some singer at the moment and Sugar is on a permanent holiday on daddy's money. Oh yeah and Finn is still in Lima working at McKinley as the Glee teacher."

"Wow, everyone seems to be doing such cool stuff, well except Finn, when he was teaching Glee in my Senior year 2.0 he was like a creepier Mr. Shue." I comment with a grimace.

"Yeah he did look ridiculous in those sweaters." Santana laughs.

The conversation pauses for a moment and we all stand and move over to the couch and collapse down onto it. I sigh and lean my head onto Quinn's shoulder beside me.

"Do you miss them?" I ask carefully.

"I miss Mercedes a lot and I kinda miss Sam and Sugar but it think I'm okay with not seeing the rest of them." Santana replies casually.

"Yeah me too, I kinda wish I could see Kurt sometimes too though." Quinn sighs.

"Yeah but then you'd have to see Berry too." Santana grimaces and Quinn and I laugh. "What about you Britt?"

"I miss everyone really. I guess I miss Sugar and Sam the most." I reply. "We became really close in my Senior year and then when I disappeared I never got to speak to them again." I say sadly.

"I could give you their number's if you want?" Santana suggests.

"I don't know it might be weird me just suddenly calling them. Plus they don't know any of the real story yet so they might all still hate me." I say sadly.

"Britt no one ever hated you, we all just supported Santana at first and then when we tried to reach out to you again you'd fallen off the face of the earth and your parents wouldn't even tell us where you'd gone." Quinn reasons affectionately.

I nod feebly in response. "I just wish I could see them again." I say sadly.

Quinn leans over and brings her lips close to my ear. "You're going to like Santana's birthday surprise then." She whispers with a grin and I just look at her questioningly.

"What did you say Q?" Santana asks.

"Nothing important." Quinn replies. "I'm gonna head to bed." She says as she stands up and heads out into the hall.

"What did she say?" Santana asks curiously but I just shake my head refusing to say anything. "Well I'm gonna head to bed you coming?"

I nod and stand up and we shuffle off towards the bedrooms and Santana lends me some clothes and leaves some out for Adam, she even managed to find surprisingly masculine pajama's for Adam. We head off to the rooms and get into bed. I get comfy and then Adam comes in and we awkwardly shuffle to opposite sides of the bed and lay down to sleep and drift off.

* * *

**A/N: Please be gentle, I had literally no motivation to write but wanted to stick to the Wednesday update so I tried and this is what the product from today's attempt was. Just to clarify my story is only canon until the break up episode. In my story they did break up and then Brittany, Sugar and Sam all became really close friends, like a quirky version of the unholy trinity. Santana also became close friends with Sugar and Sam because of Brittany's friendship with them. I know some people will hate Sam being anywhere near this story but I actually really liked the Bram **_**FRIENDSHIP**_**, but Glee had to go fuck that up. Also I think the Samtana friendship was interesting and I actually used to like Sam's character I just loath the Bram relationship. Don't worry though, until Bram is over Sam will not make an actual appearance in my story only mentions of him. So I don't know if you do the whole jokes to get candy on Halloween in America (where this story is set) but it's what we do in Britain so I thought I'd use it :) Sorry for the awful jokes, me and a friend are having a joke war and these were some of the ones included :P As always thanks for reading and I love hearing what you think so please leave a review or PM me :D**

**Overly long A/N over :P**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hello everybody :) Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews I got on the last chapter, they're all really appreciated :D ****So I am going to briefly mention canon Brittana only to say have hope, ****I know it's actually painful to ship them at the moment but I honestly believe if RIB want Glee not to tank (further) they'll get Brittana back together and give them a decent storyline so have faith, we will go down with this ship :) ****I would also like to thank the person who sent me a very**** sweet PM this week again, it really made me want to write more for you guys and I feel like the quality of my chapters was slipping a little so I've tried to kick it up a notch (emphasis on tried) and am going to try start heading back towards the original intended plotlines rather than just copious amounts of fluff, there will always be some though :) **

**MandyJai13: Thank you :D Hope you like the birthday chapter and you may get your wish. I didn't really want to watch Diva either but ended up watching it to see Naya Rivera :P I'm glad my story is helping.**

**danigleek: Glad I could be of service :)**

**tinygleek: Thank you :D**

**Kasya: thank you :) Here you go.**

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Santana's POV

I'm woken up when I hear an obnoxious banging coming from the front door. Groaning I roll over and hit Quinn where she's lying on the bed next to me.

"Fabgay go get the door." I mumble into my pillow.

"No." Quinn responds groggily clutching the sheets tighter around herself.

"Get up." I mumble trying to pull the sheets away from the blonde.

"No." Quinn says again stubbornly pulling a pillow over her head so she can't hear me.

I groan and glance over at the clock beside me and see it's only 8 in the morning. Who the fuck do I know that would come over this early. I stay in bed with the hope that Tina will answer the door but after another couple of minutes and not hearing anyone else moving I finally pull myself out of bed and angrily make my way to the front door. I don't do mornings and whoever is making me get up early on my birthday better be prepared to face my wrath. I grab the door knob harshly and yank the door open prepared to go all Lima Heights but when I spot who's on the other side of the door all the anger quickly leaves my body.

"Happy birthday." A familiar voice shouts.

"Oh my god! Aretha, what are you doing here!" I exclaim excitedly staring at my friend in front of me.

"It's your birthday girl, you didn't think I'd miss it did you. Just cause your old now doesn't mean I'd forget you" Mercedes teases me.

"You're only a few months younger." I point out with a grin. "Come in." I say happily ushering her into the apartment. "Fabgay, Chang get your asses out here." I shout into the hall.

"Charming as always Santana." Mercedes teases and I push her shoulder in response.

"I'm always charming." I joke grinning at Mercedes beside me.

"Well actually you're usually a bitch." Mercedes jokes as she takes a seat on the couch.

Suddenly I hear a voice coming from the living room doorway.

"You shouldn't say bad words." Emily reprimands.

Mercedes turns to face the little girl who just talked and a confused expression appears on her face.

"Santana I think a kid broke into your apartment." Mercedes jokes, staring at me obviously expecting an answer and I stand unsure of what to say until Quinn and Tina appear to save me.

"Em honey, why don't you go wake your mommy, Adam and Luke and tell them we have guests." Tina suggests pushing Emily gently towards the bedroom.

"Okay." Emily responds as she skips off to wake the others.

When she's gone I feel the others stares all focusing back on me.

"Who was that?" Mercedes asks. "And who are Luke and Adam?"

"Oh. Adam's my boyfriend and Luke's his little brother." Tina responds and Quinn and I quickly turn to stare at her.

"Asian lady says what?" I respond staring at Tina disbelievingly.

"Adam and I are dating now." She responds a coy smile sporting her lips.

"Since when?" Quinn asks.

"Last night, after never have I ever. He asked me out on a date and we may have kissed." She answers excitedly.

"That's awesome T." Quinn replies happily pulling her into a hug.

"Yeah it is." I agree smiling over at them.

"Thanks guys." She responds happily.

"Hold the phone." Mercedes interrupts. "I'm happy for you and all Tina but that doesn't explain who that little girl was." Mercedes points out looking at me questioningly.

"Oh well... she's uh... she's the woman I'm dating's daughter." I reply hesitantly.

"Wait you have a girlfriend?" Mercedes asks curiously.

"Well technically no, we're just dating at the moment." I correct her quietly.

"Still that's awesome S, you must really like her to be dealing with a kid." Mercedes teases.

"Yeah she's pretty amazing." I say honestly.

"I thought you'd never date again after Brittany ripped your heart out and stomped all over it." Mercedes jokes casually and all I can do is laugh awkwardly in response.

I spot Adam, Luke and Emily appear in the doorway out the corner of my eye and I turn to face them.

"Tana I got them." Emily shouts happily. "Mommy just left again though." She frowns looking back into the hallway.

"I'll get her." Quinn says quickly rushing off into the hallway.

"Thanks. Ems, why don't you come here and I'll introduce you to my friend." I suggest happily, gesturing for her to come over.

"Okay." She responds walking over to me and holding her arms up and I bend down and pick her up, placing her on my hip I turn to face Mercedes.

"What's your name sweetie?" Mercedes coos at the little girl

"Emily Santana-" Emily says adorably but I cut her off before she can say her last name in case Mercedes works out she's Brittany's daughter.

"Yep this is Ems." I echo.

After I speak I do a double take and repeat Emily's middle name in my head, ending up staring at the little girl in my arms dumbstruck. Did she just say her middle name was Santana? Brittany had named her after me? My whole body goes ridged and my heart feels like it's about to burst. I feel tears forming in my eyes but I just blink rapidly trying to hold them in. I don't know why finding out Emily's middle name is Santana is having this effect on me but somehow finding out that Brittany named her after me seems to prove that she really did love me back then and didn't just leave for some guy. I feel like it proves every single thing Brittany has ever said to me about how much it hurt her to leave and that she was always thinking about me. It may make me sound cliché but it feels like some kind of epiphany and now all I want to do is talk to Brittany.

"Wow you guys have the same name, that's so cool." Mercedes says to Emily cutely.

"Uh huh it's awesome." Emily agrees cutely.

"Honey you are just too cute." Mercedes coos at Emily and the little girl beams at her in response.

"Thank you." Emily responds adorably.

I see Quinn walk back into the room and she beckons me over to her so I walk over.

"B wants to talk to you. She's in the guest room." Quinn whispers and I nod and she holds her arms out and takes Emily from me. I turn and head to the guest room knocking gently before I enter.

When I get in I spot Brittany sitting on the bed with her hands in her lap and her eyes locked onto them. I walk over to her and gently sit down on the bed next to her waiting for her to say something. After a minute or so she looks up and turns her head to face me and we lock eyes.

"So Mercedes is here." She says simply fidgeting with the hands in her lap.

"Yeah she is. You wanna come say hi?" I ask.

"I… I don't know. She probably hates me." Brittany says sadly.

"She won't hate you. We just need to explain." I respond encouragingly.

"She'll tell you to break up with me or tell you that I'm going to hurt you again." Brittany says gloomily.

"No she won't. Even if she does it doesn't matter, you're my girlfriend and nothing's going to change that." I respond firmly taking one of Brittany hands in mine as Brittany's face scrunches in confusion and she gives me a curious look.

"I thought we were just dating?" She says questioningly.

"We were, but hopefully you'll be my girlfriend now." I say expectantly.

"What changed your mind?" She asks enquiringly.

"Emily did." I say and Brittany just continues to look at me curiously obviously waiting for more detail. "Why did you never tell me that her middle name's Santana?"

Upon hearing my question Brittany looks down guiltily but I don't want her to look away from me right now so reach out and gently lift her chin so I'm staring into her eyes again.

"Brittany, is she named after me?" I ask and Brittany nods shyly. "Why?"

"Because I wanted to name her after someone who meant something important to me and you meant everything to me so I chose your name." She responds quietly as a slight blush appears on her cheeks.

"Britt..." I start but I really don't know how I'm supposed to respond to that.

"Santana I know I've said this so many times and you're probably tired of hearing it but, I never wanted to leave you. When Emily came I wanted you to be a part of her even though I thought you'd never meet her because you're a big part of me and at the time I missed you so much." She says honestly.

I sit thinking for a minute but I can't seem to find the words to express how I really feel.

"How are you so perfect?" I say in awe and Brittany blushes shyly and looks down at her lap again.

"I'm definitely not perfect." She mumbles.

I reach out for her chin and lift it so that she's looking into my eyes.

"Maybe not, but you're perfect for me." I reply sweetly and I honestly meant it.

"Such a smooth talker Lopez." Brittany jokes, obviously trying to draw the attention away from her reddening cheeks.

"Only for you Pierce." I respond.

Brittany turns to looks at me and I can't help but get caught up in her eyes. There so blue and deep and I swear sometimes I just get lost in them.

"Good, I mean you are my _girlfriend_ now I'd be kinda worried if you smooth talked other girls." She jokes but I get caught up when she calls me her girlfriend.

It sounds perfect coming from her mouth and I am ridiculously happy that after all these years of separation and angst we are finally heading back on track to get to where we should have always been. What makes me most happy though is that the fear that I've always associated with really being with Brittany is basically gone and I now just feel comfortable and cheerful. I don't really know when it went away but somehow now I feel like I really know Brittany won't fully leave me again. Sure there's still a lot of stuff to deal with, not just between us but Brittany went through a lot and I feel like she need to deal with it properly, I don't know if I'd ever actually say that to her face though. I don't want it to seem like I think she's broken I just want to make sure she's happy and doesn't bottle anything up. I want to be there to support her and I feel like she still has so much in her life to deal with. I want her to know she can come to me for help.

We sit in silence for a while just enjoying each other company until I realize I've been gone for a while and should really get back to Mercedes.

"We should head out." I say standing up and holding my hand out for Brittany.

She still looks hesitant though and instead of taking my hand she holds hers tightly in her lap and looks down at them.

"Britt, I promise nothing she says about us will matter to me." I tell her reassuringly.

"You say that now…" She mumbles.

"Brittany Susan Pierce, believe me when I say that I am not going to change my mind about being your girlfriend. I want to be with you and nothing Mercedes says will ever change that." I say firmly. "Unless it turns out you two are secretly dating." I add on at the end trying to lighten the mood.

I get a small chuckle from Brittany and she finally reaches her hand up and takes mine and I pull her up and go to lead her towards the door. When I turn to walk though I'm tugged back and spin around to face Brittany again, she now has a bashful smile on her face and she leans forward and places a chaste peck on my lips but when she goes to move back I follow her and press our lips together again for a deeper kiss. It's simple and we move our lips together gently, enjoying each other's taste. We kiss softly and I've always loved these kisses, the ones where we're simply enjoying each other. When we ultimately pull apart Brittany lets out a sigh and leans her head forward so our foreheads are resting against each other with our eyes locked in a soft stare.

"What was that for?" I ask quietly.

"I just wanted to kiss my girlfriend." Brittany says with a shrug and a grin appears my face.

"Well feel free to do so any time." I respond happily.

Brittany smiles and pulls away from me before intertwining our hands together and sanding up straight with an air of attempted confidence.

"Let's get this over with then." She says with a resigned sigh.

Brittany's POV

When we head towards the lounge I can't help but feel my nerves build up in my stomach. I know Santana said she wouldn't care what Mercedes said about us but that's not all I'm worried about. I don't want to think about what she's going to say about me. Sure she might not approve of our relationship and we'll deal with that but I don't want to hear her talk about how horrible I was for crushing then abandoning Santana. I know I put on a brave face but when Santana, Quinn and Tina were talking about me leaving I felt hurt by some of the things they said, I know they didn't mean it in a bad way but it was still like a constant reminder of the bad choices I'd made in my life.

When we finally reach the door I feel my hand sweating slightly and Santana must sense my nerves as she turns and gives me a reassuring smile before leading me through.

When we walk in all the people in the room turn to stare at me and I feel my body freeze up and when my eyes finally meet the brown eyes of the person I've been nervous to see and when I see the confusion and hint of anger in her eyes my heart sinks.

"Mommy! Where were you?" Emily shouts as she runs over and throws herself at my legs happily.

"I was just chatting to Tana." I say trying to seem relaxed as I pick her up and place her on my hip.

"Cool." Emily responds before reaching out for Santana and pulling her closer to the two of us. "Hey Tana did you know 'cedes sings!" Emily says excitedly.

"Yeah I did. She was in Glee club too." She responds happily.

"With you, mommy, Quinny and T?" She asks innocently.

"Yeah." Santana responds cheerily.

While the two of them are talking Mercedes and I are locked into a kind of staring match. I can't really tell what she's thinking but from the look on her face it's not good. I'm just standing there awkwardly waiting for the moment that she'll finally say something to actually acknowledge my presence.

"Mommy, are you listening?" Emily asks as she tugs on my sleeve so I look down at her.

"Sorry baby. What did you say?" I say apologetically.

"You've not said hello to 'cedes." Emily says curiously.

"You're right baby." I say and smile at her before looking up at Mercedes. "Hi Mercedes. How've you been?" I ask nervously.

Mercedes doesn't respond but instead continues to stare at me with a confused expression on her face.

"Brittany?" She says finally lets out and it almost sounds like a question.

"Yeah that's me." I say cheerily trying to ease to strained atmosphere in the room.

"Girl, someone better explain what's going on." Mercedes says questioningly.

"You know Brittany, she's my girlfriend." Santana says simply.

I internally curse when she says this as Emily is right beside her and I haven't gotten round to talking to her about any of this and now she's stuck in a situation where I can't even explain it properly to her.

"Huh?" Emily says shocked turning to stare at me with wide eyes. "Mommy?"

"I'll explain it all later baby." I tell Emily and I can see Santana realize what she did and curse silently out the corner of my eye.

I turn to look at her fully and she mouths a quick apology to me and I just nod to say its fine.

"No mommy. What did Tana mean?" Emily says unwilling to drop the subject.

"Baby, later please." I implore but Emily just shakes her head stubbornly. "Okay fine. Me and Tana are girlfriends now. Do you know what that means?" I ask.

"Like in the stories?" She suggests.

"Yeah baby. Basically Tana's going to be with us a lot more now and we'll do things like hold hands and kiss. Is that okay?" I ask.

Emily looks at me unsurely but she nods and even though I want to talk to her more about Santana and I, I decide I'll leave it for now and deal with it later. I have Mercedes to deal with at the moment and that's more than enough.

"I see that you're girlfriends." Mercedes interrupts bringing our conversation back to her question. "I'm asking how the hell it happened."

"Mercedes, language." Santana reprimands glancing at Emily and Luke.

"If you don't want those kids to hear cursing you better get them to leave the room because what I want to say involves a lot of curses." She says bluntly and I still can't quite get a grip on how she's really reacting, is she angry or just shocked.

"S how about me, Q and Adam take Luke and Emily for breakfast?" Tina suggests.

"Sure." Santana relents.

I can't help but feel a little guilty, it seems like we're always asking Tina and Quinn to take Emily away so we can talk. There not really child appropriate conversations though so I know why we do it I just feel bad for basically sending them out the room all the time.

Tina walks over to me and lifts a reluctant Emily from my arms and then walks out of the room with Quinn, Adam and Luke following close behind her. Me, Santana and Mercedes all stand in silence for a while until we finally hear the front door open and Mercedes raises an eyebrow at us expectantly.

"So…." She starts obviously prompting us for an explanation.

"Well you met Ems right." Santana starts. "She goes to the daycare Tina works at and we got back in touch through that." Santana says, giving probably the least descriptive explanation ever.

Mercedes waits for a moment staring at us in anticipation waiting for more until she realizes neither of us is going to say anything else so speaks again.

"That's all you're gonna say." Mercedes says incredulously looking between the two of us. "Why would you take her back? She left us all with no fucking explanation."

When she finally says what I've been dreading I can't help but flinch slightly at her words.

"Mercedes you don't know the full story." Santana scolds.

"Well, why don't you tell me then? Brittany?" Mercedes says clearly asking me to tell her the full story.

"It's pretty complicated." I start quietly. "Basically I left Santana cause I was pregnant and I didn't want her to get stuck with a baby."

"So you cheated on her and got pregnant then decided lying to her about cheating and breaking her heart was easier than just telling the truth?" Mercedes says indignantly.

"I didn't cheat." I say definitely. "I would never cheat on her. We weren't together when I got pregnant."

"So why did you just disappear?" She says incredulously. "I mean, I was your friend too Brittany and you just left without as much as a goodbye."

"Well you just left me in senior year 2.0." I blurt out before I could stop myself.

Santana and Mercedes both look at me questioningly and I regret even saying anything. I've never mentioned to Santana how I felt like I was just left behind by the other seniors and now really wasn't the time to throw another problem into the mix. I mean I know I didn't graduate with them but we were still in the same year and I was friends with all of them but still I didn't get invited to their little dinners or other things, they just kind of forgot about me. I mean Santana didn't, she always called and talked to me but even she didn't attempt to include me in the things with the rest of our graduated glee friends.

"Huh?" Santana says unsurely.

"It doesn't matter right now." I respond trying to forget I ever said anything.

"Britt it does matter. What did you mean?" Santana says.

"I'll talk about it later. Can we focus on trying to get Mercedes to stop glaring at me for now?" I say and from the corner of my eye I see Mercedes face relax from the scowl she obviously didn't know she was wearing.

"Fine." Santana sighs. "But I'm not forgetting about this."

"Okay. Back to Mercedes, just ask me what you want to know." I say reluctantly.

"Why cut us all off?" She asks.

"It wasn't completely my choice. I lost my phone when I moved and I didn't remember any of your numbers plus I thought you all hated me so wouldn't really have wanted to talk to me. I know that's not a proper excuse since I knew where you all lived but after a while it just seemed like it'd be easier to stay away." I say and I see Mercedes thinking over my response.

"Why did you have to hurt Santana so badly?" She asks and I cringe again.

"I thought it's what I had to do but I realize now I was wrong." I respond honestly.

"What even made you think it was the right thing?" Mercedes asks incredulously.

"I was going through a rough patch. I mean I was pregnant and emotional. I was just in a bad head space." I reply.

"Well not to be a bitch but you did sleep with someone so you're not entirely blameless on the whole pregnancy front." Mercedes says bluntly.

"Well-" Santana starts obviously going to correct Mercedes but I really don't want her to mention my attack so I cut her off.

"Yeah I guess you're right." I say and Santana turns and gives me a shocked look. "I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry. I really am and I hope that we can move on from this. If you can't though can we please just try put it aside for today and have fun, its San's birthday after all. So please just leave it for today?" I ask.

Mercedes looks at me in thought before sighing and nodding and I feel a small smile tugging at my lips at my minor accomplishment.

We stand in silence for a minute before Santana finally shift and break's the silence.

"Okay, I'm gonna call T and see where they went for breakfast so we can go join them." Santana says as she digs her phone out of her pocket and walk out into the hall.

I watch her go and then turn back to Mercedes who is still staring at me.

"I feel like you're not telling me something." She says suspiciously.

"Can we please just leave it for now?" I beg slightly.

"So there is something?" She asks.

"Mercedes." I say pleading and she sighs.

"Fine. But I really don't know if I trust you with Santana. You really hurt her you know." She says.

"I know and I promise that I never want to make her feel like that again." I say firmly.

"Okay, I'll give you today then." She says and then Santana walks back into the room.

"There just down the street. Should we go join them?" Santana ask and me and Mercedes both nod.

Santana and I head to our rooms to get changed before we all head out the door towards the coffee house there at to join them for breakfast.

* * *

**A/N: So I had to split the birthday chapter in two as it ended up being about twice the length of my usual chapters. I hope you're liking Mercedes little visit, she's not going to be a permanent role but I just wanted to put in Brittany meeting some more of the people from her past and show she does still have some insecurities and I know you're all probably getting fed up of her going over the reasons she left but it necessary when she meets someone from her past again. Any who thanks for reading and please leave a review or PM me, I love hearing what you think :D**


	19. Chapter 19

**A****\N: Hey y'all :D As always thanks for all the follows, favorites and reviews I got on the last chapter, they all make me smile so much :D**

**20kels: Thank you for the review :) I'm glad you're liking Mercedes visit and Santana and Emily's relationship.**

**Leggoofmyeggo: I'm controversial like that :P About the whole graduation 2.0 thing, I totally agree with you and it seriously pissed me off too and that's why I decided to include it, it won't get talked about in this chapter though, I was just introducing the plotline for future chapters but don't worry it will be included :)****  
****I was trying to show them facing Mercedes reaction together but I get what you're saying about Britt seeming to get the heat but I did split this chapter in two and San does confront Mercedes about how she talked to Britt just not in the first half.****  
****Thank you :)**

**HikariKou: Thank you :) It was pretty intense and I'm glad you're liking Mercedes visit.**

**Kasya: Thank you :) You're very welcome.**

**MandyJai13: I'm glad you liked it :) Sorry for the wait but anticipation makes things better :P**

**njhousefan: Mercedes will be pulled up for that. I totally agree, they might be together now but that doesn't mean I'm just going to make everything easy for them, they still have a lot to figure out together. That's actually a really good idea, I might use that :) Thank you :D**

**t****inygleek: Thanks :) They will talk about it, not in this chapter though.**

**HeyaBrittana95: Thank you :D Happy times :)**

**So onto Santana's birthday: part 2. Unbetad so any mistakes all are mine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the products or places mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Santana's POV

Breakfast went well and even though things seemed a little tense between Brittany and Mercedes they managed to be friendly enough to one another, well I guess Brittany always friendly actually. After breakfast Mercedes, Quinn, Tina and I headed back to the flat while Brittany and Emily went to get changed so we could spend the rest of the day together.

Now Mercedes, Quinn, Tina and I are sitting around in the living room trying to decide what to do with the rest of day.

"How about we go out to a bar?" Mercedes suggests but I instantly decide to veto that one because Brittany and Emily wouldn't be able to come.

"I don't think so. Britt and Em wouldn't be able to come." I reply quickly, shrugging casually over at her.

"Would that really be a bad thing?" Mercedes scoffs quietly and me, Quinn and Tina turn to look at her confusedly.

Did she really just say what I think she did?

"What?" I ask incredulously, staring at her challengingly.

"You heard me Santana. I really don't get why you're with her. She _left _you, she left all of us all and you all seem to have just forgotten that." She responds harshly staring back at me not backing down from the challenge.

Sighing I turn to face the chair Mercedes is sitting in properly, silently preparing myself for a battle. In all honesty I really just want Mercedes to back off, I don't want to argue with her. She doesn't know anything about how Brittany and I are when we're together now. She just seems so fixated on the fact that Brittany left, and sure I get it, I mean that was me a month ago. But now I've gotten over it I don't want people trying to drag me back into thinking about it that way. I know the truth now and I know Brittany didn't want to leave me. I'm happy so why can't she just be happy for me. I have Brittany back and nothing that anyone says will change my mind about us.

"You don't know anything about it." I respond starkly. "You have no idea what really happened back then and she's apologized for what she said so many times, it's actually ridiculous how many times she's apologized. We both did some stuff wrong but we're trying to move on together so either accept that or go."

When I finish talking I stare at her confrontationally, daring her to say something else against me.

"Why won't you just tell me about what happened because I can't understand what could've happened to make you just forgive her." She retaliates not scared away by my dirty looks.

"It's up to her whether she tells you or not, it's not my story to tell." I respond vaguely, looking away from Mercedes.

"That just sounds like some bullshit excuse for you not being able to think of a valid reason why you forgave her. I mean she went off and got pregnant then thought that she had to break up with you I mean, just what? It's so stupid." She says bluntly and I think she's trying to give me tough love but honestly it's just making me want to go all Lima Height on her ass.

I go to stand up to let one rip at her for calling Brittany stupid but a firm hand grabs my arm and pulls me back down stopping me.

"Mercedes back off." Quinn says sternly still holding onto my arm and the pressure calms me down slightly. "We're all happy to have Brittany back so just back off. We've all forgiven her and we don't want you making her uncomfortable and plus that'll make her less likely to tell you what happened. But if you talk to her and make her feel guilty about the past we'll all come after you." Quinn warns sternly.

"She's right Mercedes." Tina chimes in. "Britt makes Santana happy and we all love her and Em being around so just let them be. Please."

"I just don't get it. How you could all let her leaving go?" Mercedes asks curiously glancing between the three of our faces.

"It's Brittany. It's hard not to forgive her." Quinn says softly after a minutes pause.

Mercedes seems to think this response over for a minute before she sighs and her head falls slightly.

"She always was too sweet to be mad at." She says hesitantly. "I'll try to back off. And… I guess I'm sorry for what I said earlier." Mercedes apologizes looking at me guiltily.

"You'll not try you will." I warn giving her a threatening glare. "And I think you should apologize to Britt too."

"Fine." Mercedes agrees reluctantly slumping back into her chair with a huff.

"Good." I respond simply.

I'm about to try and move the conversation onto another subject but a knock comes from the front door and I immediately scramble up to go answering it, knowing who it's going to be. When I get there I pull the door open and am met with my two favorite people beaming happily at me.

"Happy Birthday!" Emily shouts cheerily holding a rainbow colored envelope out to me.

"Thank Ems!" I respond enthusiastically. "What's this?" I ask as I take the envelope from her hands.

"Me and Mommy made a card! Open it!" She responds eagerly.

"Okay Ems." I chuckle as I start to open the envelope and watch the little girl in front of me bounce in anticipation.

When I pull out the card from inside the envelope glitter falls out from it and covers the carpet beneath me, it's going to be a bitch to clean up but I should have expected glitter from Brittany and Emily. Plus it's cute so honestly I don't care that I have to clean it up, or maybe I'll just make Tina do it. Turning the card so I can see the front I see there is a hand drawn image of a brunette in front of what I think a birthday cake with a tall and small blonde standing at her side. I can't help not smiling at the image on the front which is obviously supposed to be Emily, Brittan and I. Opening the card up I see there are two messages written inside. I read the one that is obviously from Emily first.

_Tana!_

_Happy Birthday!_

_Love Emily x_

I smile as I read Emily's simple message and then go to read Brittany's message.

_Santana_

_I'm really glad I get to spend your birthday with you and I hope we get to spend the rest of them together too._

_Your Brittany xxxx_

My heart beats a little faster as I read Brittany's message. It's so simple yet meaningful and I can't help the grin that spreads across my face. Looking up at Brittany shyly I see her looking back at me cautiously an anxious look on her face.

"Thank you Brittany." I say with a smile and then I lean forward to give her a quick peck on the lips.

"Tana! What about me!" Emily scolds pulling my trouser leg to get my attention.

"Sorry Ems. Thank you too." I say and then lean down and blow a raspberry onto Emily's cheek and she giggles and runs away from me into the apartment.

Grabbing Brittany's hand I follow after Emily and find her in the living room standing by the couch.

"Mommy, Tana come here." She orders pointing to the couch and I can't help but chuckle at her bossiness.

Brittany and I walk over to her and take a seat on the couch and once we're settle she jumps onto Brittany's lap and pulls one of my hands into her lap to play with.

"Okay we we're thinking how about going out for dinner?" Quinn suggests bringing us back to the topic of what to do with the day.

"Yeah that'd be good. We could try that new Greek place we've been meaning to go to." I agree happily.

"Alright so were going out for dinner later. But what are we going to do know?" Tina asks.

"Can we go to the park?" Emily suggests from her spot on Brittany's lap beside me.

"Baby I think that's something you want to do not what would be good to do for Santana's birthday." Brittany teases poking Emily's tummy gently.

"Tana wants to." Emily says looking at me expectantly. "You're mommy's girlfriend, you have to do what I want." Emily says with a cheeky grin and everyone in the room bursts out into giggles.

I'm surprised by how quickly Emily seems to have adjusted to the idea of me and Brittany being a couple. I know we still need to talk to her properly about it but from her initial reaction it's probably going to go well.

"You're so cheeky." Brittany teases as she starts tickling Emily's sides.

"Mommy no!" Emily squeals between giggles as Brittany tickles her playfully. "Tana help me!" Emily laughs.

"Sanny help _**me**_." Brittany says playfully grinning over at me.

"Oh no! Who to choose." I say faux dramatically as I watch the two blonde tickle each other on the couch.

"Tana!" Emily giggles again and I decide to go after Brittany.

Diving in at the older blonde playfully, I grab her sides and start ticking her furiously.

"Traitor!" Brittany shout's through a laugh.

"I had to! I want to be on her good side." I joke as I back off and stop tickling.

Brittany just looks at me with a sly grin and then she stops tickling Emily and leans in to whisper something onto her ear. Emily then looks over at me with a matching grin and I back off slightly dreading what's coming next.

"Get her Em!" Brittany shouts as they both lunge for me and start tickling me.

"No!" I shout dramatically as I try and get away from them.

"Do you think they realize we're still here?" I hear Quinn chuckle from across the room.

"I know you're here! Why aren't you helping me!" I shout over the sounds of Brittany, Emily and mine's laughing.

"Sorry S but this is just too funny. I should totally record you. I could show everyone and destroy your Lima Heights street cred." Quinn teases from the other side of the room.

I manage to wriggle away from the two blondes attacking me and back off and put my hands up into the air.

"I surrender, stop please." I beg playfully and Emily looks over to Brittany who nods to tell her to stop.

"Good, well now that's over what are we doing today." Quinn asks, returning the conversation to its previous topic.

"Why don't we go shopping?" Tina suggests and everyone starts nodding furiously. "Okay well then I guess we should all go grab our stuff and head out?"

"Yeah sounds good." I reply.

After we're all agreed everyone stands up to go grab their things. Once we're all ready we meet in the hallway and head out to go shopping.

* * *

We've been out shopping for about three hours and no one has actually bought anything yet, it's kind of depressing really. Everyone's starting to get tired and Brittany is having to carrying Emily on her hip as she got tired of walking about an hour ago.

"How about we go in here?" Mercedes suggests as she points to a small boutique to our right.

"Sure, but can this be the last one? I'm getting really tired." I ask as I drop my head onto Tina's shoulder beside me.

"Yeah me too." Tina adds shrugging her shoulders so I'll move my head off of her.

"Okay." Mercedes agrees.

We all head towards the door of the shop and push it open and walk in. It's a small shop with loads of 'one of a kind' clothes. Usually I wouldn't step foot in here, it's to hipster for my taste but I know this is the type of place Quinn will love and who know maybe I'll find something. We all start to wonder around looking at the clothes and I really want to find something to buy just so this trip doesn't feel like a complete waste.

I feel a tug on my arm and turn to find Brittany standing beside me with Emily in her arms.

"Hey." She says with a smile. "Could you take Em for a bit? My arms are going numb."

"Sure." I say and reach my arms out to take Emily from Brittany.

As soon as Brittany's arms are free she starts shaking them about trying to get the feeling back. I feel Emily move in my arms and look down to see the little blonde blinking sleepily at me.

"Mommy?" She mumbles.

"I'm over here baby." Brittany says beside me.

"'Kay." Emily murmurs then lays her head down on my shoulder.

"San I found something for you." Quinn shouts excitedly as she walks over to us with a tight burgundy dress in her arms.

"Shh." Emily complains from my arms.

"Aw, sorry Em." Quinn coos at the little girl before turning back to me. "You have to try this on." She enthuses as she holds the dress out to me.

"Fine, can you take Em?" I ask Quinn.

"Sure." She says and then holds her arms out to take Emily from me but the little girl clings to me tighter so Quinn can't take her.

"Not Quinny, she's loud." Emily murmurs into my neck and I chuckle at her.

"Britt, can you take her?" I ask but the blonde just looks at me sadly.

"My arms are still really numb." She says apologetically.

"I want 'cedes." Emily murmurs and I look cautiously over at Mercedes who is standing behind Quinn.

Surprisingly Mercedes just smiles and steps forward, holding her arms out to take Emily from me.

"Sure honey." Mercedes say sweetly and Emily allows herself to be removed from my grasp.

"Right well I'll go try this on then." I say with a confused smile and walk away to the changing rooms with Quinn in tow.

Brittany's POV

I watch Quinn and Santana walk away and then turn around and realize I've been left with Mercedes, sure Tina's here but she's on the other side of the room looking at the clothes. Mercedes turns to look at me and I can't help but wish I had Emily instead of her for some source of comfort.

"Brittany I wanted to talk to you." Mercedes says surprising me as she's been avoiding talking to me for the past three hours.

"Sure. What's up?" I ask, putting on a fake smile to try seem calm.

"I just wanted to apologize. I realize now what I said earlier was a little harsh and I can see that you make Santana happy and for now that's enough." She says with a genuine smile.

I stand staring at her unsure of how to respond to that. I thought we we're just going to continue with her reluctantly allowing my presence but here she is apologizing to me and I couldn't be more surprised.

"Uh… thanks." I say unsurely.

"It's fine." She replies offhandedly.

We stand there in an awkward silence neither of us knowing to what to say next but luckily Santana and Quinn come back and interrupt the discomfort.

"What do you think guys?" Santana asks and I turn to see her in the dress.

As soon as my eyes reach her my jaw practically falls open, she looks stunning.

"Wow…" I whisper and Santana looks at me with a grin and I blush slightly from my reaction.

"Britt, close your mouth you're drooling." Quinn teases and my cheeks turn a darker shade of pink.

"Oh come on Q, you can't deny I look smoking." Santana replies cockily, rasing her eyebrows in challenge at Quinn.

"Oh yeah, I'd totally do you." Quinn deadpans and I turn to look at her shocked, trying to see if she was joking.

"Q that's disgusting." Mercedes says with a fake gag. "The idea of you two having sex is just plain weird and filthy."

"I second that." Santana chimes in. "As much as I love you Quinn I am never going near your lady parts. It'd be like sleeping with my sister." Santana chuckles with a fake shudder and Quinn clutches her chest in mock pain.

"I'm hurt. I could totally get you to sleep with me if I wanted." Quinn jokes with a smirk.

"Oh Quinny." I say in fake sympathy as I walk over to Santana's side and wrap my arm around her waist. "Make no mistake, she's mine. You could _**never**_ get her."

"Touché Britt." Quinn laughs and we all start giggling as well.

"Huh? Why you laughing?" Emily asks groggily lifting her head off Mercedes shoulder.

"It's nothing honey." I say gently as I walk over to Mercedes and lift Emily from her arms as my arms have regained their feeling now.

Thank god Emily was asleep throughout that conversation. That would have been a tough one to explain to her.

"Well I'm gonna go change and buy this then we can leave." Santana says as she walks off back towards the dressing rooms.

* * *

When we finish shopping everyone bar me and Emily head back to Santana's to get ready for dinner while Emily and I head home to get ready too. Emily is choosing what I'm wearing after I gave in after she begged me for half an hour. She's currently pulling everything out of my closet and piling it on the floor while she searches.

"Got it!" Emily exclaims happily emerging from the closet with a dress in her hands. "Here." She says demandingly as she holds up navy strapless knee length dress with a thin white belt around the waist and a flared skirt.

"Okay baby, pass it here." I agree and hold my hand out to take it from her.

"Tana will love it!" Emily says happily as she passes it over.

I'm surprised by Emily's response and I realize we've not actually really talked about me and Santana being a couple yet. I know I should do this with Santana but I want to make sure Emily's okay with it and understands what it means.

"So you're okay with Santana being my girlfriend?" I ask her cautiously as Emily moves to sit on the bed next to me.

"Uh huh. She's awesome." Emily responds as she starts absentmindedly playing with my jewelry box beside me.

"Do you know what her being my girlfriend means?" I ask to clarify she actually understands what going on between the two of us.

"You're gonna kiss and she's gonna hang out with us all the time." She responds simply.

"Well… yeah." I respond as that's probably as much as a three and a half year old needs to know about relationships.

"Do you love her?" Emily asks suddenly, looking over at me expectantly.

"Uh…" I respond put on the spot but then I sigh and smile and pull Emily into my lap. "Yeah I do baby, but you can't tell Tana that, okay?"

"Why?" She asks curiously.

"Cause I haven't told her yet." I respond. "So it has to be a secret till I tell her, okay?"

"Okay mommy." Emily agrees and then jumps off my lap. "Help me find a dress?" Emily asks and I smile and nod then follow after her out of the room.

* * *

We're the first ones to get to the restaurant so when we head in they lead us to an empty table and I sit down and Emily jumps into my lap while we wait for Mercedes, Quinn, Santana and Tina to get here.

"Hey guys." I hear Tina shout and I glance to my left and see Mercedes, Quinn, Santana and Tina approaching.

"Hi." I respond cheerily giving them a small wave.

"Hi Britt you look amazing." Santana says when she reaches the table and she leans forward to kiss me on the cheek causing a blush spreads across my cheeks.

"What about me?" Emily says, grinning at Santana.

"Hi Ems you look amazing too." Santana says through a chuckle then leans forward and kisses Emily's cheek before she takes a seat beside me.

"Ew Tana!" Emily giggles and wipes her cheek.

"Stop being so cute and say hi to the rest of us." Quinn teases as she walks up to Emily and me.

"Hi Quinny!" Emily says excitably and then she starts wiggling in my arms until I put her down and she runs up to Quinn and hugs her legs tightly.

"Wow Em you really need to stop being adorable." Tina jokes as she walks up to Emily and bends down to hug her.

"Guys you're going to give her an enormous superiority complex at this rate." I joke and they all laugh along with me as we take our seats.

"Wow some big words there." Mercedes jokes from across the table.

I freeze when she says this and look down to the ground embarrassedly. I know I might not be the brightest but that doesn't mean she needs to point it out.

"Not really, Brittany's really smart." Tina says and I look up at her surprised.

"Yeah I mean she managed to raise a kid on her own so she must be pretty smart." Quinn agrees with a soft smile.

"Totally, my Britt's a genius" Santana says and I catch her sending Mercedes a warning glance.

"I didn't mean that she wasn't smart." Mercedes defends flustered, looking between Quinn, Tina and Santana. "It was just meant to be a joke, I'm sorry." Mercedes apologizes.

"Guy's it's fine. Let's just order." I suggest trying to diffuse the new found tension in the air.

I wave the waiter over and we all say our orders and I order something that I think will be child friendly for Emily.

"So Mercedes, how's the job going?" Tina asks.

"It's great. I might only be background singing at the moment but I've made so many connections, I think I'm gonna get my break soon." Mercedes replies excitedly.

"That's great 'cedes." Santana encourages her with a smile.

"Yeah it is. Your voice is so awesome and everyone should hear it." Tina encourages.

"Thanks Tina." Mercedes says cheerily.

"Can you all sing?" Emily asks curiously.

"Yeah baby." I respond smiling at Emily. "Quinny has a beautiful soft voice and Tina has amazing voice. Mercedes and Santana have these awesome powerful voices, they could totally both be superstars."

"Cool!" Emily exclaims happily.

The waiter then comes over and places out food down in front of us and we all dig in and hold up a basic conversation while we eat. When we finish the waiter comes back over and clears our plates and when we say no to dessert, much to Emily's dismay, we make our way out of the restaurant.

"I have to say that turned out to be a pretty awesome birthday." Santana says happily as we start walking down the street towards our apartments.

"Yeah, I'm glad I was here." Mercedes agrees. "And I know I already apologized to you Britt but I want everyone to hear that I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I might not understand how you two got together again but I can see how good you are for each other so I really am happy for you two." Mercedes says sweetly and I glance over at Santana to and find her staring at me with a grin on her face.

"Mommy and Tana are awesome!" Emily adds excitedly and we all giggle at her.

"Thank you Mercedes, that means a lot." I say genuinely and walk over to her and surprise her with a hug.

After a minutes hesitation Mercedes returns my hug and when I pull away I have a beaming smile plastered across my face

"As much as I'm enjoying this love fest we should probably get home." Quinn interrupts with a smirk and I just glare at her playfully.

"Yeah, it's nearly this one's bedtime." I say as I bend down and pull a sleepy looking Emily into my arms.

"But I don't want to go." Emily whines stubbornly.

"Em you'll see Quinn, Tina and Santana soon. And I'm sure Mercedes will come back again soon." I say to a grumpy looking Emily.

"Yeah sweets, I'll be back." Mercedes reassures the little girl with a gentle smile.

"'Kay." Emily says sleepily after a minute's hesitation. "Bye cedes'"

"Bye Emily. Bye Britt" Mercedes says and then turns to walk away.

"Bye Britt. Bye Em." Tina and Quinn shout as they go to follow Mercedes.

Santana hurries towards Emily and I and places a quick peck on my lips and a mouse kiss on dozing Emily's forehead.

"Bye guys." She says sweetly then runs off after the others.

"Bye!" I shout after them and they all turn and wave.

Turning away from them to head back to my apartment the memories of the day float around in my head. It may have started off a bit rough but in the end it actually turned out prey dam awesome and I can't wait for more days like this.

* * *

**A/N: There you have it, Santana's birthday: part 2 :) So this chapter turned out not to actually have much plot in it cause it was all in the first half, oh well :P Random note: the dress Santana buys is the one she was wearing during 'Make No Mistake She's Mine' cause I thought it was simple but gorgeous and I want it :P And yeah there was some Quintana bashing in there, I apologize to any of their shippers. I'm just annoyed cause the writers must have thought 'Oh I know how to get viewers! Let's make two hot girls sleep together! It doesn't matter that they're best friends or that one of them watched the other struggle to come out to be with one of her other best friends who she's obviously still in love with.' I honestly would have probably liked the way they showed Santana's feelings in this episode (that she was sad and lonely so went looking for comfort with someone else) through that story line if they had chosen someone other than Quinn, I mean, can Glee Club members only sleep with other Glee Club members?! :/ Sorry for the rant and sorry if I offended anyone, this is just my personal opinion. ****Thank you for reading and please leave a review, I honestly really appreciate every single one of them and I love hearing what you think.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hey everybody :D As always thank you so much for all the reviews, favorites and follows, I appreciate all of them. So it's past midnight here, I failed my Wednesday update routine, *sad face*, well I'm sure it's still Wednesday somewhere :P ****So this chapter was all written today and I'm recovering from a concussion at the moment so sorry if it has more mistakes than usual, I really should be sleeping right now but instead I'm writing fanfic :P**

**HikariKou: Thank you :D You're welcome :)**

**Leggofmyeggo: Thank you :) I agree with most of the Quintana points you made, though I don't think Santana chose Quinn to be vindictive, I think she was just a person who was there at the time, it was still a shitty decision though and neither of them should have let it happen :/ But that's just what I think and I totally respect your point of view :) And don't worry Quintana will not become a long-term thing. ****I'm working on the idea a reviewer gave to bring someone from the past into the story, keep your eyes peeled :P Thank you, that really means a lot :D**

**danigleek: Thank you for the review :) Yeah she is, I feel like I should bring back some of her badassness to save her rep though :P**

**tinygleek: Thank you :D I'm glad you liked the family-ish moment :)**

**HeyaBrittana95: Thank you :D ****Haha, I'm glad you're okay :D ****Brittany and Sam didn't date in my story, they became best friends instead. I've mentioned it in A/N but not in the actual story. Mercedes was mad at Brittany because she's protective of the people she cares about and she was mad Brittany left without telling her.**

**So back to the story, any mistakes are mine, and there's probably a lot today. Oh and there is a baby time jump, only a week. (p.s. would putting the date the chapters are set in at the start of the chapter be helpful?)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any other products or places mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Brittany's POV

The week following Santana's birthday had flown by and I haven't actually been able to see her in person. She's had to work most nights to make up for all the shifts she's missed over the past month and I miss her a lot. It's kind of pathetic but I don't really care, I only just got her back and I want to be around her.

I'm currently in my ballroom class and Adam and I are working out way through the routine assigned to us today. The teacher's given us 1 hour to learn the routine and then we have to perform it in front of everyone. I think it's a bit harsh but there's no way I'm going against professor Strain so I'm just keeping quiet and trying to learn the routine. Luckily Adams a fast learner so he's keeping me right, sometimes I think I'd fail out without him. Actually that's not true, I could probably do this on my own it's just easier with friends.

"Time's up. Go sit around the edge of the room." Professor Strain barks, interrupting our practicing.

All the dancers quickly hurry to sit down and Professor Strain looks around at all of us, I can't help but flinch as his eyes glance over me, I really don't want to go first.

"Green, Wild you're up." He shouts.

The dancers he called jump up from the other side of the room and make their way to the center. They look utterly terrified and I can't really blame them. They start the routine and I watch intensely and think they do it well but when it comes to the end Strain looks at them unimpressed.

"Mediocre." He dismisses, waving the dancers off.

He shouts another pair and they move to dance.

* * *

The rest of the class all Dance and they mostly get by with comments saying they're okay. Adam and I are the only pair left and instead of shouting our names Strain just looks at us and we rush to stand up and get to the middle of the room.

We get into hold and when the music starts we start the routine and I can't help feel a little stiff. But as we continue to move through the routine I feel myself relaxing and when we come to the end I can't help but feel proud of how we did. It didn't start well but I think we pulled it off really well in the end.

As we break our hold I turn to look at Professor Strain and when I meet his eyes I gulp nervously, he does not look impressed.

"Good movements Summers. Pierce… it needs serious work." He says cruelly. "Class over."

I turn and walk across the room to grab my stuff and can feel my face start to burn with embarrassment. I didn't think it was that bad, this guy just seems to really hate me though.

I'm trying to compose myself as I crouch over my things when I feel two hands wrap around my waist and I jump in surprise swinging around to see who it is. When I meet my 'attackers' eyes I see chocolaty orbs shining brightly at me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask suspiciously, relaxing in her presence.

"I may have snuck in to see you dance. I may have also been hiding by the door for an hour. I'm surprised you didn't spot me." Santana says with a playful grin. "By the way you were amazing." She adds cutely then pecks me on the cheek.

"Thanks." I respond skeptically.

"You were. You too Adam." Santana says to Adam who is standing beside us.

"That's not what Strain thought." I say dejectedly, letting my shoulder fall in disappointment.

"B." Santana coos as she reaches out and takes my hand. "He's just a grumpy old shit who's jealous of your talent." She says sweetly.

"Thank you for saying that but I think it's more than that." I say disappointedly.

"No it's not, your amazing Britt." Santana reassure me and I feel a blush forming on my cheeks.

"Thanks." I respond and lean forward and give her a sweet peck on the lips.

"Mrs. Pierce." I hear Professor Strain shout from the other side of the room. "Please conduct your personal business elsewhere."

"Sorry Sir." I apologize and grab my bag and turn to leave. "Come on San, Adam."

"Oh so you remembered I'm here now." Adam jokes as he follows me and Santana out the room.

"Stop being needy Summers." Santana mocks playfully.

"San don't be mean." I chaste, giving her a stern look.

"Sorry Britt." She apologizes but I just continue to stare at her. "Sorry Adam." She says with a sigh and Adam laughs at her.

"God you're so whipped." Adam teases and Santana sends a glare at him.

"Shut up. I liked it better you when you were all like 'h-hi Ti-Tina I-I lurrrrve y-you'." Santana teases back and I just chuckle and continue to walk letting them banter behind me.

I can't help but realize that Adam has actually stopped stuttering altogether around all of us. He says it's because when he gets to know people and becomes comfortable he gets a lot more confident. He and Luke have become a big part of my life so I'm glad he's comfortable around me and my friends. I kind of love confident Adam, he's really sassy when provoked but usually he's still just really sweet. Though whenever we're around new people he always gets really quiet again and shy again, it kind of makes me sad that he doesn't feel comfortable enough to be himself around new people.

"Sorry Tana, please don't tickle me." Adam responds with a fake shudder.

"No one calls me Tana other than Emily specs." Santana warns with a playful growl. "And who told you about the tickling? It was Chang wasn't it, that traitor."

"Guys stop bickering. You're acting like children." I tell them off playfully.

"Sorry Brittany." They both say in the way a child would address their teacher.

"Good. Now hurry up or we'll be late picking up Emily and Luke." I add as we all start to walk faster down the street.

* * *

When we reach the daycare ten minutes later we bustle though the door and are immediately met by the sounds of Emily and Adam playing excitedly with Tina. From the looks of it they're playing tag and I can't stop the laugh that escapes my mouth as I watch Tina chase after Emily and Luke. The laugh catches there attention and they all turn to where Adam, Santana and I are standing.

"Mommy!" Emily shouts excitedly as she runs over to me and I scoop her up into my arms and do a twirl when she reaches me.

"Hey baby girl. I missed you." I say cheerily as I place a kiss on Emily's forehead.

"Me to mommy." Emily responds then turns to face the others and a confused look takes over her features.

"What you doing here?" Emily asks Santana.

"Well I thought I could spend the afternoon with you and your mommy. If that's okay with you?" Santana asks and Emily's response is obvious from the smile that breaks out across her face.

"Yay! What we gonna do?" Emily asks enthusiastically.

"I don't know. That's up to you." Santana responds.

"Can we make cookies!" Emily asks excitedly.

"Sure Ems. That sound fun." Santana replies enthusiastically.

Emily wiggles in my arms so I put her down and she runs over to Santana and holds her hands out. Santana looks confused for a second before she gets the message and bends down and picks up Emily and balances her on her hip.

"I feel like I should be offended by that." I say in mock hurt as I watch Emily cuddle into Santana's side.

"Sorry Britt. I'm just too awesome, don't take it personally." Santana teases and Emily giggles along with her.

"If it was anyone else I'd probably be crying right now." I joke.

"But it's Tana. She's cool!" Emily chirps happily.

"Yeah she is." I say happily. "Well we should go, are you headed home Adam?" I ask turning to the man beside me.

He was talking to Tina and I obvious interrupted but he just smiled and answered.

"No Luke, Tina and I were going to go get Maddy then head to the park for a bit." Adam replies and I grin and him and Tina.

There so cute together and I'm glad Tina's okay with Adam having to look after his brother and sister all the time. Then again she does work at a daycare so it's kind of a given that she likes kids.

"Aww how romantic." Santana teases and I hear Emily giggle along with her.

"Shush S, you're going to go bake with your girlfriend and her daughter. You're no better." Tina responds playfully.

"Fair point Chang." Santana concedes. "Shall we head?" Santana asks looking at me.

"Sure." I respond.

Santana puts Emily down on the ground and the little girl grabs Santana and my hands and we head out back to my apartment.

* * *

When we get home we immediately head into the kitchen and Emily stands on a chair, much to my protest, and orders Santana and I around to grab ingredients and utensils that we'll need. When we've finally got everything gathered on the counter we start mixing it all together and it only takes ten minutes before the cookies are baking in the oven.

"What do you wanna do now?" I ask as I finish drying the last of the dirty dishes.

"We could watch a film." Santana suggests with a shrug.

"I know. Disney night!" Emily cheers, looking between me and Santana expectantly.

"Sure baby, if it's okay with Santana." I say looking at Santana to see what she thinks.

"I think it sounds awesome." Santana enthuses happily.

"Yay!" Emily shouts, running of to go and grab some DVD's.

"What exactly is Disney night?" Santana asks once Emily's gone.

"We usually have one night a week where we sit and watch films together. Since Em is still young we always end up watching Disney so we call it Disney night." I reply happily smiling shyly at Santana.

"That is ridiculously cute." Santana teases playfully and I just blush gleefully. "I have to work at nine though, will we be done by then?"

"Yeah, Em's bedtime is eight so we should be done." I respond. "Oh and you have to sing along on Disney night." I add and Santana looks at me with a quirked eyebrow.

"Okay now you're just trying to be adorable." Santana jokes and I just slap her arm playfully.

"Shush." I say bashfully and Santana just smirks and leans forward and pecks me on the lips.

"No kissing!" Emily shouts as she runs into the room with some DVD's in her hands.

"Sorry Ems." Santana chuckles and I swear I see a little bit of a blush on her cheeks.

"Choose two." Emily says as she holds five DVD's up for Santana.

"Okay." Santana says as she takes the DVD's from Emily. "Hmm, how about 'Beauty and the Beast' and 'Mulan'?" Santana asks and Emily nods in agreement.

"Okay, well the cookies will be done in any minute and then we can go cuddle up on the sofa and watch them. Why don't you go set up while I get them out." I say and turn and grab the oven gloves and check the cookies.

"Okay." Santana replies as she and Emily head into the living room.

When I see the cookies are done I take them out and plate them up before grabbing them and carrying them through to the living room. Santana and Emily are already sitting on the couch with the first movie set up and I walk over and take a seat between them. Emily cuddles into my side and Santana grabs the blanket off the back of the couch and throws it over all of us before grabbing my hand and pulling it into her lap. I sigh contentedly and relax back into the couch to watch the movie surrounded by my two favorite people.

* * *

After the last movie finishes I leave Santana to clean up while I carry a sleepy Emily off to bed and after a struggle she finally settles down to sleep. I turn on her night light and then walk out into the living room and find Santana sitting on the couch.

"She's finally down." I say with a chuckle.

"It only took… twenty minutes." Santana says as she glances at her watch with a smirk.

"She didn't want to go to sleep until you left." I reply with a shrug

"Aw that's sweet." Santana coos and I just nod and smile happily at her. "Come here." She says and motions to the couch beside her.

I walk over to the couch and sit down beside her and Santana immediately moves to cuddle into my side. We both fall back into the couch and I sigh contentedly as we sit together quietly. My hands wonder to Santana's hair and start playing with it gently and I feel Santana relax into me.

"Britt, I wanted to talk to you about something," Santana say's nervously, breaking our contented silence.

"Okay, what's up?" I ask curiously, running my hand up and down her arm soothingly.

"It's about what you said to Mercedes, about all the graduates abandoning you. Is that really how you felt?" She says quietly and I pull away from her slightly so I can see her face.

"Uh… well I mean maybe a little." I stammer nervously, I don't want to upset her by telling her the truth.

"Britt please don't lie. Tell me how you felt. Tell me what went on with you back then. I want to know." Santana encourages me gently, stroking the back of my hand softly.

"Okay… before I start though you are not allowed to let this create any awkwardness between us no matter what I say, okay?" I say firmly, holding her gaze to make sure she knows I'm serious.

"I can't promise that it won't upset me a little but I'll talk to you about it and not let it affect us in the long run." She promises gently, holding my gaze confidently.

"Okay then. Yes it really hurt me, it wasn't just you all leaving me that hurt me though. It was all the stuff before that too. I mean none of you even noticed I was falling in the first place. You noticed that Puck was failing and helped him but not one of you asked me how I was doing. I was literally hiding my tests from you because I was so embarrassed, I was really trying but I was never quite good enough. You just accepted it when I told you I had a 0.0 grade point average when really I was only 0.3 away from passing. I just needed my friends support but you were all too busy. I'm not saying this to punish you, you had a lot going on and I know that. I know I can't change things but you asked how I felt and there it is." I finish looking at her trying to asses her reaction but I can't tell as her face looks blank.

"Wow… I'm so sorry Britt. I know that doesn't mean that much now but I am sorry. I should have noticed and helped." She says apologetically.

"You don't need to be sorry. It happened and I'm over it but you wanted to know how I feel and there it is." I answer honestly with a shrug.

"Okay… not to be pernickety, but I actually asked about you feeling left behind by the graduates. I'm glad you told me the other stuff and I am so sorry I was such a shitty girlfriend, but I still want to know about that too." Santana says and I chuckle lightly and cuddle into her tighter.

"I know but that leads into how I felt about you guys leaving." I answer placing a kiss on her cheek before I continue my story. "When you all left we promised to keep in contact and we did for a bit but then we broke up and you all just moved on with your lives and I was left stuck in high school without you, missing all you guys. So when I found out you were all coming back for Thanksgiving I was really excited to see everyone. Sugar got really annoyed at me cause I rambled about you guys coming back for like three weeks." I add with a small laugh. "But then it came and went and I only saw you guys in Glee club, which was awesome but I thought maybe we were going to meet up outside school. I thought maybe you guys just hadn't done anything, then I saw some pictures of you all together on twitter and I realized you just hadn't invited me. I was really upset, I'd known you all for four years and just because I was stupid and failed out you all left me out."

"Brittany you are not stupid." Santana cuts in. "We didn't think and forgot to invite you I'm so sorry. I didn't know you even wanted to see us, I mean you had Sugar and Sam. I thought you were happy with the new seniors."

"I did have them but it wasn't the same and I know I'm not stupid now. It's how I felt at the time though. I thought maybe I wasn't good enough for you guys anymore, not smart enough. Sure you still talked to me sometimes but no one else did, not even Quinn and she was one of my best friends. It continued like that throughout the year and I kept seeing pictures of you guys with one another online and I just felt more and more isolated from you all. Then graduation came and you were all visiting and met up without me again, even though I'd graduated now, I'd proved I wasn't stupid. I got angry and sad and went out and found a random party to crash, wanting to distract myself from the real world. I met some guy and got wasted and I've told you the rest of that story before." I conclude looking down at my lap when I finish and I feel Santana move away from me slightly.

"That was the night you…" Santana trails off and I know what she's asking.

"Yes. May 17th 2013." I respond bleakly.

"You know the exact date." She says shocked, pulling away from me completely.

"Well yeah… it's not like I really want to remember, it's just hard to forget." I respond gloomily, sitting up straight now Santana's completely removed herself from me.

We sit in silence while I watch Santana processes the information and I fiddle nervously with my hands waiting for her to speak again.

"So it was my fault." She says suddenly.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Your attack was my fault." She says, clarifying what she meant, sadness emanating from her eyes.

"What!? No of course not Santana, not even a little bit." I say desperately, that's not what I wanted her to take away from this. I knew this would end badly.

"Really because you just said you only went to that party because we- because I abandoned you. Santana reasons sadly, looking away from me. "I'm a terrible person, I left you alone. I let everyone else ignore you. I should have fought for you to be included. We all still loved you Britt, we really did it's just we didn't think. I should have made sure you were included. I could have just tried to include you and it would have never happened."

"Santana no." I say firmly. "A lot of stuff happened while you were gone. It all just kind of stacked up and that night I cracked. It wasn't your fault. It was any of the graduates fault." I reason frantically.

"It was! God I'm so selfish. I mean, even now you just told me something major about your life and I've made it all about me. Why am I so self-absorbed." Santana says in frustration, standing up and pacing around the room. "I could have stopped you having to go through one of the worst experiences a person can go through if I'd just invited you to our graduation dinner. I didn't though because I thought I'd be uncomfortable around you because I didn't know what was going to happen between us now you'd graduated. I was so selfish and it meant you got hurt!"

I stand up and walk over to Santana and grab her and wrap my arms around her tightly, even though she struggles against me I refuse to let go.

"Santana no. It was no one's fault but the guy who decided he could do whatever he wanted to me." I say resolutely not letting her say anything against me. "And I wouldn't change it, it was horrible but it gave me Emily. So please don't blame yourself."

Santana struggles try to get away from me for a bit but she finally gives in with a sighs and I feel her body relax slightly in my arms. I feel a little better that's she's calmed down a bit and I hold her closer.

"I suck. I wish I was better with all this." Santana says sadly resting her head against my chest. "I should be holding you and comforting you but instead you're comforting me. I really am a shit girlfriend."

"You're an awesome girlfriend Santana." I reassure her with a kiss on the head. "You only just found out about all this. I've known about it since it happened. You're allowed time to freak out and process. I'd be worried if you didn't."

She nods slightly and I just continue to stand and hold her not wanting to let her try blaming herself again.

"I'm so sorry Brittany. If I could find a way to change things back then and make sure you were included I would, I would give anything to make you happy. I hate that it all happened to you." She says definitely and looks up at me and I can see the regret in her eyes.

"I appreciate that but you can't change anything. It happened and honestly it all led me to this moment and I'm okay with that. Sure things aren't always easy but I'm happy right now." I reassure her.

She stares at me for a moment before she smiles softly.

"You're amazing." She says and I feel a blush spread across my cheeks. "I'm serious Britt. The way you deal with everything is so amazing and I'm really lucky to be your girlfriend."

"Me too." I reply, leaning forward to give her a quick kiss.

Santana has other idea though and when I try to move back she follows me and connects our lips again. Sighing into the kiss I let my lips move rhythmically against hers, enjoying the feel of her plump lips on mine. When air becomes a necessity we pull away from each other and when our eyes meet grins spread across both of our faces.

"I hate to do this, but I have work in half an hour." Santana says regretfully.

"Okay well you should probably go then." I say and pull away from her.

"I'll talk to you soon. And I'll miss you" She says, leaning forward to pecks my lips.

"I'll miss you too." I respond as I watch Santana grab her things.

"Bye." Santana says sadly and gives me another quick peck on the lips.

"Bye." I call after her.

I wait in the living room until I hear the front door close and then walk into my room and collapse on to the bed to tired to bother changing, I'm in sweats anyway. I muse over how intense my days been as I start to drift off but when sleep finally reaches me I go with a smile on my lips and Santana on my mind.

* * *

**A/N: So there you go :) I kinda explained some of the back story to Brittany's attack and I'm really not sure about how you'll all react to what I revealed but it's been how I've been planning on writing it for a while so… yeah. I am not trying to blame the other seniors at all, them leaving just contributed to how loney Brittany was feeling. I know I didn't really go into Britt, San and Em's afternoon together much because I wanted to focus on other things in this chapter. Note: my backstory does not follow all the same plot lines as the real season 4 only the ones up to and including Thanksgiving, sorry if that's a bit confusing. Thank you for reading and please, please, please review I really do love hearing what you all think :) Be gentle though, I'm still recovering from my concussion :P **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hello :) As always thank you for all the follows, favourites and reviews, they're all really appreciated. A lot of people seemed to like the way I included Brittany getting left behind by the seniors in the story and I'm really glad you did. As soon as it happened in the show I knew it was going to be a part of my story and I'm glad none of you felt like I was trying to place the blame on any of the graduates :)**

**HikariKou: You're welcome :D I'll try :)**

**Adrimarie97: Thank you for the review :) Hmm that could be interesting. If I did do it though I'm not sure whether I'd choose a guy or a girl. I think I would choose a guy for 'angsty and insecure' jealous Santana but probably a girl for 'possessive and sexy' jealous Santana. We'll see.**

**Guest: "Beautifully tragic but…" Thank you :D**

**Kasya: Thank you :D**

**okiku31: Thank you :D Me too :/**

**Guest: "I think this…" I'm glad it did :) Thank you :D**

**Quinntana2: Thank you, I'm glad you like them :)**

**tinygleek: Thank you :D I'm glad you liked how Brittany telling Santana played out and hope you like the rest of her reaction :)**

**brittana-is-love-16: Thanks for the review :) I'm not going to bring in any more of the Glee club at the moment but they will find out about what happened and we'll see their reactions, just not for a while. Here you go :)**

**danigleek: Thank you for the review :) Very true ;P I'm glad you liked the backstory for Britt. I'm happy you're liking the story and I'll keep going till it finishes :)**

**Back to the story, any mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the products or places mentioned in this story.**

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Santana's POV

When Brittany told me about what happened to her a few days ago I wanted to believe her when she said it wasn't my fault, but now I've had time to think about it I'm having trouble believing it. Actually I don't believe it at all, it was my fault. Sure I didn't attack her physically, but I did hurt her in other ways that lead her to her finding herself in that situation. I could have prevented it and in my mind that's just as bad as doing it. Sure I didn't know what was actually going on but was I really that blind that I didn't think 'hey us leaving her out might actually hurt Brittany's feelings'. I just feel like shit, though I won't let Brittany know that. She really is amazing and I'm so lucky to be her girlfriend so if she wants me to believe that it's not my fault then I'll let her think that's what I believe. I'm actually impressed at how composed I managed to seem when she told me because on the inside I was a mess. I even managed to convince her I believed her 100% which was far from the truth. To be honest I was kind of glad when I had to leave for work because it meant that I could go and think for a while. Really though thinking never helps me, it just makes things worse most of the time. I haven't seen her in person since she told me and though I miss being around her I'm kind of relieved and that just makes me feel worse. I want to see her, I do, but I don't know how to lie to her face and continue to pretend that I'm okay with what happened to her and that I know it wasn't my fault because that's not what I think. I even turned down seeing her today saying I was busy with Quinn because I know she'll be able to see something's up with me if she sees me.

So basically this all means that I'm spending my Saturday morning sitting in an emotional back hole in front of the t.v., watching whatever crap happens to be on ready to cut anyone who annoys me.

"What you watching?" Quinn asks as she walks into the room still dressed in her pajamas.

"Nothing." I respond vaguely, not wanting to engage in conversation.

"It doesn't look like nothing." Quinn says dryly, motioning to the pictures moving across the screen.

"Nothing important." I rephrase continuing to stare at the t.v. in front of me.

"Okay…" Quinn says questioningly before moving to sit next to me on the couch. "You wanna do something today? We could invite Britt and Emily."

"No thanks. I'm not feeling that hot so I might just stay in today." I say evading her invite.

"You don't look sick." Quinn points out, moving her hand to place it on my forehead.

"Get of me Quinn!" I bark dodging her hand.

"Jeez Santana I was just trying to help." Quinn grumbles. "What is wrong with you at the moment? You've been like a zombie for the last few days. Are you PMSing or something?"

"Shut up Quinn." I growl giving her a warning glare.

"I will when you stop being a bitch." Quinn deadpans, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I'm not being a bitch." I retort pushing her gently.

"Yes you are. What's going on?" Quinn asks but I just continue to sit staring at the t.v. "Santana Marie Lopez you better tell me or I'll call your mother." Quinn threatens and I sigh resignedly knowing she's just played the trump card.

"Fine… some stuff happened with Britt, that's all." I say vaguely while I try to find a way to tell Quinn what happened without dragging her into the spiral of self-hatred too. "P.s. you need to find a new threat, the whole 'I'll call your mom thing is getting old'."

"Oh god what did you do." Quinn says exasperatedly turning in her seat to stare at me and I push her again.

"I didn't _do_ anything." I defend rolling my eyes.

"Sure." She says sarcastically. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" I say again getting frustrated.

"Just tell me you know it's going to come out eventually." She says sternly and I am really starting to consider using violence to shut her up.

"I. Did. Not. Do. Anything." I say putting emphasis on each word crossing my arms defensively in front of me.

"Bullshit." Quinn responds immediately.

"For fucks sake Quinn I didn't do anything. Just back the fuck up." I shout standing up off the couch and glaring down at Quinn.

My actions must make Quinn realize something is really wrong because instead of engaging me into a bitch off like she usually would she just looks at me calmly and waits for me to talk again. I stand staring at her and gradually feel the anger start to disperse from my body and guilt replaces it. I shouldn't shout at Quinn, this isn't her fault, sure she was pushing me but this isn't her fault it's mine. I just don't want to involve her in case she ends up feeling like I do.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to shout." I apologize giving her an apologetic smile. "I just… I'm dealing with some stuff." I murmur as I move to sit back down on the couch beside her.

"Apology accepted." Quinn says sympathetically. "You know you can talk to me Santana. I'm your best friend, that's what I'm here for."

"I don't want to drag you into it." I respond evasively looking back at the t.v. in front of us.

"San, I don't mind getting dragged into it. I know I might bitch you out a lot but I really do care about you. I really do want to help." Quinn encourages me and I can't help but feel grateful that I have her as a friend.

"What love fest did I just walk into?" I hear Tina tease and turn and see her walk into the room. "Well actually I've been listening since you shouted at Quinn and woke me up so I know exactly what I'm walking into. Quinn's right Santana, we want to help."

Now I'm going to drag Tina into my depressive cycle if I tell her too and I really don't want to do that.

"Guy's I really appreciate the thought and I love you for it but I really don't want to drag you down into my funk." I say hoping that that'll bring an end to the discussion.

"I'll just call Britt and ask then." Quinn says and I whip around to stare at her angrily, did she not just see threatening me won't work.

"Q I swear to god." I mumble angrily and she just stares at me unwaveringly and I realize she's completely serious. "Please don't."

"I know I might be going about this the wrong way but really if it gets you to tell us I don't give a flying fuck. I'm not going to let you beat yourself up because we all know that just leads to you getting drunk and making stupid decisions." Quinn says firmly and I shoot her a glare.

I don't always deal with my problems with alcohol… who am I kidding yes I do. It's just the easiest way to escape, and wow I sound like an alcoholic. I turn to stare between Quinn and Tina trying to find a way out of this situation but from there expressions I can tell there no way out so I might as well get it over with.

"Brittany's attack was my fault." I mumble and stare at my hands in my lap.

"What?" Quinn asks confusedly.

"Brittany's attack was my fault." I repeat louder, looking up to see their reactions.

They're both sitting there with confused looks on their face and I know I'm going to have to explain.

"She only went to _that _party because she felt abandoned and upset. The graduates made no effort to include her and it hurt her and she got more upset throughout the year as we continued to leave her out and then that night she snapped and went out and crashed that party. I could have stopped it all from happening if I'd just invited her." I rush out quickly not wanting to give them a chance to interrupt.

"Huh?" Quinn asks confused. "You're saying she only went to that party because we left her out. We could have stopped it all?"

"Basically." I mumble.

"So it's not your fault it's all of ours." Quinn corrects and I whip my head to face her.

I can see guilt in her eyes and know that she feels the same way I do at the moment, guilty. I really didn't want this to happen and now I not only feel guilty for letting Brittany get hurt but I also feel guilty for making Quinn feel responsible too.

"Did she say it was your fault?" Tina asks.

"No… she said it wasn't my fault but she's just saying that." I respond.

"Maybe she wasn't just saying it." Tina suggests but I just scoff at her, of course she was. She must blame me at least a little, I know I would. "I'm serious Santana, Brittany wouldn't lie just to spare you. She hasn't held back when she's told you about other things from her past, has she?"

"Well no… but that's not the same." I say trying to argue against her point.

"Yes it is, if she says it's not your fault than that's what she believes." Tina says bluntly.

I don't know why but I'm starting to get really mad at Tina. She should feel guilty too, she shouldn't be okay with all of this.

"So you don't feel the littlest bit guilty?" I ask shocked. "You were there, you should have seen how lonely she was." I say accusingly.

"She never seemed lonely and you know how Brittany was, she only ever lets you to see what she wants you to see." She says unapologetically.

"Then how can you say she isn't hiding how she's feeling now." I point out.

"She wouldn't do that now, she's grown up and knows there no point in hiding how she's feeling." Tina defends.

"Well I think she's just trying to spare my feelings so either back of or gear up for an argument." I say harshly, I really don't want to argue with her but she needs to drop this and just let me feel how I want.

"I'm with San here Tina, she can't not blame us." Quinn adds guiltily.

"You two are hopeless." Tina sighs exasperatedly.

"Yeah well I don't care, now leave me to my wallowing." I say tonelessly and Tina just walks away obviously exasperated by my childish behavior.

* * *

Quinn and me have been sitting watching crappy t.v. feeling sorry for ourselves for the last three hours and despite the numerous times Tina has come and shouted at us saying were being ridiculous we haven't moved. Sure we're being dumb but I really don't give a shit. I feel guilty and instead of doing something about it I'm wallowing in self-pity with my best friend surrounded by empty packets of junk food, they do say misery loves company.

Quinn and I are about to move onto our fifth episode of hoarders when our moping is interrupted by a knock at the door. We make no attempt to answer it and just sit until Tina runs past us from the kitchen to get it, it's probably just a parcel or something anyway so it doesn't matter. I hear the front door close again and I figure that Tina has dealt with whoever it was.

"What's up with them?" I hear a voice ask and snap my head up to find Emily, Brittany and Tina standing in the doorway.

"I don't know baby. Why don't you go with Tina though and she can show you those photos we were talking about?" Brittany says motioning Emily to go with Tina out of the room.

Emily just nods unenthusiastically and follows Tina from the room. I'm starting to get the feeling Emily's getting used to getting sent out the room for 'adult time' and I don't think she really appreciates it.

Brittany turns to stare at us once Emily's gone and I see her glancing around the room taking in the mess around us.

"Why did I get a call from Tina telling me that I needed to come over right now and deal with the two of you?" Brittany asks, giving me and Quinn questioning looks.

Quinn and I glance at each other quickly sharing a look before turning back to Brittany and remaining silent.

"Can we please just get this over with? I was supposed to be spending the day having fun with my daughter but instead I had to come here to drag you guys out of your wallowing. Can I also add you Santana were invited to join us today but declined saying you were busy doing stuff with Quinn. Is this your idea of busy?" Brittany asks obviously annoyed, gesturing around the room.

"Sorry Britt." I mumbled looking down at my lap in shame.

"You're only sorry you got caught Santana and I'm annoyed but I'll be over it soon. But right now I just want to go back to the awesome day I was having with my daughter so you either tell me what's going on or stop wallowing so I can leave." Brittany says firmly and I can tell I'm in the dog house at the moment.

I pause for a moment and think about my option. I can either tell Brittany the truth and probably get into an argument and hurt her feelings or lie and have to keep on lying to her as well as convincing Quinn to lie to. Though it sounds worse the first option is probably easier in the long run.

"I told Quinn about the story behind you getting attacked." I say quietly, glancing up to see her reaction.

I'm surprised when I see the annoyed look melt of her face and one of confusion.

"And?" She prompts curiously, obviously not understanding the implication that has.

"She thinks it's my fault too." I say honestly knowing that it's going to come out sooner or later.

"No I don't." Quinn interjects. "I think it's both of our faults."

Brittany just looks between the two of us confusedly before sighing and bringing her hand up to the bridge of her nose, rubbing it and letting her eyes fall closed.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you." She mumbles running a hand over her face.

She moves into the room and sits down on the loveseat opposite us and slumps back into it.

"Britt?" I say, unsure what's going on in her head right now.

"My attack was neither of your faults." She says quietly and I look over and Quinn and she mimics my disbelieving look. "And you told me you believed that Santana. You lied to me when you could have just talked to me about how you were feeling. I really thought you believed me, I was actually impressed by how mature you were but no, now I find out you lied."

"I didn't want to upset you." I mumble guiltily.

"It upsets me more to find out you lied to me. I thought we shared a sincere mature moment where we talked about what we were feeling and dealt with it together and I was so happy that we had that in our relationship." Brittany says and I feel guilty for lying to her. "I don't see why you didn't just talk to me?"

"I wanted to just move on from it." I say honestly.

"And you thought that was going to happen while you sulk about it and feel guilty?" Brittany questions seriously and I spot a flaw in my plan. "Why didn't you just believe me, it's neither of your faults"

"I get why you think that Britt but it's just… me and San… we could have prevented it happening if we'd just been good friends and thought about you." Quinn says hesitantly.

"You don't know that." Brittany says pointedly.

"Well no but we could have reduced the chance of you being attacked by like 99.9%" I argue.

"Yeah I mean even you have to admit we could have stopped it." Quinn adds.

"I know you said it wasn't my fault but how can you not blame me? I could have stopped you being attacked and getting pregnant then we wouldn't have split up. I could have stopped all the bad stuff from happening." I argue.

"Stop." Brittany interrupts harshly. "You saying me getting pregnant was a bad think actually hurts for me to hear. I have Emily because of that and even though she wasn't conceived in a conventional or even pleasant way, I can't imagine a world where she's not here and I don't want to. You both need to realize that when I say it's not your fault I'm not just saying it so I don't hurt your feelings. Sure you guys left and it hurt like hell. I didn't come to any of you about it though so you couldn't have known. I'm just as at fault here as all of you for how lonely I was feeling. You're obviously sorry for what happened and I accept that as an apology, and that's all I need from you. And my attack was none of our fault, so don't even go there. Please stop blaming yourselves it's pointless and not true. I'm trying to move on and be happy but you're just dragging me back to that dark place and I don't want to be there." Brittany's says and I can't stop myself from staring at her in shock.

Where did that come from? Brittany's usually so sweet and gentle but she just went all tough love on us. I get why she was hurt by what I said about her pregnancy though. I would never wish Emily wasn't around, I just wish she'd been made in a different way.

"I didn't mean to say I wish Emily wasn't here." I mumble guiltily looking up to meet her eyes.

"You might not have meant it directly but by saying you want to change the past you're saying you don't want Emily like she is now. I know her biological father is horrible and I can't believe I let him get away with what he did but I wouldn't change who he is because, in some twisted way, he gave me Emily. Sure she's nothing like him but maybe that's because some higher force made her so good to balance out his depravity. I love her with everything I have and I can almost forget what he did because of that. I'm not saying that what happened to me was okay, I know it wasn't, but Emily seems to make everything in my life more bearable." She says passionately and I feel guilty for not considering the way she's thinking of these things. "So when I tell you that I don't blame you I'm not lying, I'm being honest because in the end it led me to a place where I have everything I want. I have Emily and I'm doing something I love with my life. I also have a girlfriend who is amazing, though that is under debate right now, and awesome friends who care about me, that is also under debate though. So yes it happened, yes you could have stopped it but no, I don't wish you had. I know I'm being harsh here but I really just need you both to understand and move on, please."

Quinn and I sit shocked when she comes to the end of her lecture and I really don't know what to say now.

"Wow…" Quinn mumbles. "I never thought of it like that. You really don't blame us?" Quinn asks hesitantly, shuffling nervously in her seat.

"Not at all." Brittany emphasizes.

"I'm sorry for not believing you." Quinn says guiltily and stands up and goes over to Brittany.

Quinn pulls Brittany to her feet and wraps her arms around her neck and Brittany wraps her arms around Quinn too. I see Brittany relax and the abrasive posture she had has changed and she now seems calmer. She's back to her normal self and I feel myself relax as the Brittany that can pull me up on my crap and make me feel guilty is gone and the one who is always gentle and caring returns.

"I just hate the thought of you being hurt." Quinn mumbles sadly.

"I know but instead of thinking about things you can't change you should focus on things you can." Brittany says softly and Quinn nods into her shoulder.

When they pull away from there hug I can feel them both turn to stare at me expecting me to join in but I really don't know what to say.

"I… I'm sorry." I mumble looking down into my lap guiltily. "You know I'd never wish Emily wasn't around, she's amazing and I love having her in my life, it's just… the thought of that happening to you makes me feel sick. I want to always be there to protect you Brittany and I failed." I say letting out the real reason as to why I've been feeling so guilty. I promised myself that'd I'd always protect Brittany and I hadn't done that, I'd failed her and she got hurt because of it.

"You didn't fail Santana." Brittany says softly as she moves to stand next to me.

"I let you get hurt." I whimper, feeling the tears that have been building up for the past three days finally escape.

"Santana, I love that you want to protect me but you're not always going to be there and I can look after myself." She coos kneeling down in front of me and wiping some tears from my check.

"I know but I promised myself that I would never let you get hurt and I have so many times. I've failed so many times and I just keep on hurting you." I cry defeatedly.

"You didn't fail Santana and you never mean to hurt me. I'm still here and I still love you so I'd say if anything you're doing pretty well." She says softly.

I whip my head to meet her eyes to see if she really meant what she'd just said.

"What did you say?" I ask tentatively.

"I said I love you." She repeats again and I feel my heart rate almost double its speed in my chest. "You may act like a three year old sometimes and are rubbish about talking about feelings and yes, I am angry at you at the moment but I love you anyway."

I feel a smile break out on my face and I quickly move my hands to pull Brittany's face to mine for a crushing kiss. I feel her respond immediately and I flick my tongue out against her lips and she immediately responds opening her mouth to respond. The kiss is passionate and loving and it's everything I want in that moment. I don't know how long the kiss lasts but when we pull away I feel dizzy from a lack of air.

"I love you too." I whisper. "And I'm so sorry and I promise to try and talk to you about my feelings in the future."

"That's all I want." Brittany responds quietly and rests her forehead against mine.

That's why I hear a cough coming from the other side of the room and look over and spot Quinn standing there with a sheepish look on her face. I pull away from Brittany and we part so only our hands are linked now and look over at her.

"Well that was…. awkward to be in the middle of." She chuckles and I see Brittany giggle from the corner of my eye. "I'm glad you guys are good though." She says with a smile.

"Sorry I kinda forgot you were there." I apologize.

"I'm used to it." Quinn says with a shrug.

"Yeah sorry anyway." I say again and then turn to face Brittany standing beside me. "What do you say we get Ems and go out somewhere nice so I can show you how much I love you and try and redeem myself from my behavior today?" I suggest embarrassedly.

"That sounds awesome." Brittany agrees with a grin.

"Right well, I'm gonna go change." I say and then lean over and give Brittany a peck on the lips.

As I head to my room I let out a breath and feel relief wash over me. I'm lucky Brittany and I sorted everything out and now I get to spend the rest of my day with the woman I love and her amazing daughter. Could life get much better?

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**A/N: They you have it :) Not entirely sure about this chapter but since my concussion I've been suffering from headaches so focusing on writing is a little difficult at the moment. My doctor said they should be gone soon though so hopefully I'll be back to better quality writing next time :) And yes I am aware a lot of you aren't going to like how Santana acted in this chapter and will think that I should have just left the issue with how they dealt with it last chapter and that this contradicted that but it was Brittany's POV last chapter so that showed how she thought Santana was handling it not how she actually was. If you don't like it I can only hope you stick with the story and like the next chapter. Thank you for reading and please leave a review, anything you say is appreciated, good or bad, though good is preferred :P**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Hello :) As always thank you for all the follows, favourites and reviews, they're all really appreciated. Guess who watched Cold Hearted Snake on repeat today… I'll just leave it there.**

**kezza89: Thank you for the review :D Haha, I hope work wasn't too bad :) **

**Adrimarie97: Thank you :D I will definitely try to find a way to work it in :)**

**tinygleek: Thanks for the review :D I'm glad you liked how the whole thing played out :) I hope it meets your expectations :P**

**HeyaBrittana95: Thank you! Me too and thank you again :D**

**hlnwst : Thanks for the review :D She didn't really ignore her she just avoided seeing her face to face so Brittany would see that she felt guilty. I'm glad you liked it :)**

**h****oldmetonight: Impressive :D Here you go :)**

**Back to the story, this is a continuation of the last chapter by the way. Any mistakes are mine :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the products or places mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Brittany's POV

"I'm dressed, what do you want to do today?" Santana says as she walks back into the room.

I turn and smile at where she's standing in the doorway and am about to respond but someone beats me to it.

"Park!" I hear Emily shout as she runs into the room.

"Hey Ems, where were you hiding?" Santana jokes and she reaches down and picks Emily up, Emily seems reluctant when Santana places her on her hip though and makes a face.

"I was with T while you and mommy and Quinny had adult time." Emily responds giving her a disapproving frown.

"Sorry about that Ems, we're all sorted now though and I'm gonna hang out with you and your mommy for the rest of the day." Santana responds enthusiastically.

"Really?" Emily asks and I can't tell whether she's happy about it or not.

"Yep and I think the park sounds like an awesome idea! What do you think Britt?" Santana asks turning to face me and Quinn.

"I think that sounds good." I reply cheerily.

"Great." Santana grins. "You ready to go now?"

"Yeah, let's get this show on the road!" I cheer enthusiastically.

"Yay!" Emily squeals. "Mommy." She requests holding her arms out to me.

I get the message and walk over to Santana and take Emily from her, resting the little girl on my hip.

"Am I not good enough for you Ems?" Santana teases, poking the little girl's stomach but Emily doesn't laugh like she usually does when someone does that to her.

"You're fine but mommy's better." Emily responds simply and Santana look a little taken aback by her response but she quickly recovers.

"Fair enough. Your mommy is pretty awesome." Santana agrees sending me a wink.

"Wow you two sure do know how to make a girl feel special." I say chirpily placing a sloppy kiss on Emily's cheek.

"Mommy! I don't want your dribble." Emily complains wiping her cheek.

"Aw I thought you loved my kisses." I pout playfully.

"Not when there dribbly." Emily says grinning at me cheekily.

"Well now I'm sad because you don't like my kisses." I frown in pretend sadness.

"I like them." Santana says leaning forward and kissing me a little longer than is probably appropriate since I'm holding Emily.

"Tana! I'm right here." Emily whines pushing on her cheeks to get us to stop.

"Sorry Ems but I can't resist your mommy's kisses, even if they are dribbly." Santana says chuckling at the little girl.

"My kisses aren't dribbly!" I dispute pouting at Santana.

"Of course not babe." Santana chuckles, leaning forward to give me a kiss on the cheek. "Shall we head out then miladies?"

"Yup." I respond and grab her hand and lead her to the door. "Bye Quinn."

"Oh you remembered I'm here." Quinn teases as we head out the living room.

"Quit complaining Fabgay." Santana shouts as we head out the apartment and then Santana shuts the door before Quinn can reply.

"Who's Fabgay?" Emily asks, staring at Santana curiously as we head to the elevator.

"It's a mean name Tana calls Quinn that she shouldn't use." I say scolding Santana.

"Sorry." Santana mumbles looking at me apologetically.

"Ohhhh Tana's in trouble." Emily teases bouncing up and down on my hip.

"Emily don't tease Santana." I warn her.

"Sorry mommy." Emily apologizes.

"Ohhhh Ems is in trouble." Santana teases playfully, sticking her tongue out at the little girl.

"Oh god I'm dating a child." I murmur and Santana just grins at me mischievously.

"Sorry." Santana apologizes again.

"It's fine. Now if you two are done misbehaving lets head to the park." I say and receive excited cheers from Emily and Santana in response.

* * *

Once we get to the park we head to the pond to sit and watch the ducks. It's really relaxing and Emily is sitting in my lap pointing at all the ducks that come near us.

"Mommy I'm hungry." Emily unexpectedly whines from my lap.

"Well what do you want?" I ask.

"Hmmmmm, ice-cream!" Emily says excitedly, pointing to the truck near us.

"Okay baby, I'll go get some." I respond and go to stand up but a hand on my arm stops me.

"I'll get it Britt." Santana says quickly standing up. "You want some too?"

"Can I have strawberry please?" I ask.

"Sure babe. You want to help me get the ice-cream?" Santana asks Emily and holds her hand out for her.

"Nope." Emily replies. "Can I have chocolate?" She asks looking at Santana expectantly.

"Sure Ems." Santana says confusedly dropping her hand and walking off to get our ice-cream.

"Why didn't you want to go with Tana Em?" I ask curiously once Santana's out of earshot.

"I wanted to stay with you." Emily responds and starts playing with my hair.

"Okay." I respond. "You could have been polite to Santana though."

"Sorry." Emily responds simply and continues to play with my hair.

"You should say that to her." I say, I'm really confused as to why she's being so grumpy with Santana at the moment.

I'm about to push the issue but I see Santana headed back towards us with the ice-cream and decide to leave it for now.

"Here's you ice-cream." Santana says as she holds the cones out for me and Emily.

We both take the cones excitedly and Emily immediately digs in getting it all over her face.

"Thanks baby." I say and kiss her on the cheek.

"No!" Emily suddenly shouts from my lap and throws her ice-cream on the ground. I look at her completely confused, unsure of what just happened.

"Emily that was rude and you wasted your ice-cream." I say sternly turning her in my lap so I can see her and I see she has a grumpy look on her face, I really have no idea what's wrong with her.

"You can't call her that." Emily says angrily, wrapping her arms across her chest defensively.

"What?" I ask still confused by Emily's sudden tantrum.

"I'm your baby." Emily says crossly and I realize what she's shouting about.

"Of course you are but Santana can be my baby too." I respond trying to reason with her.

"No it's my name. She can't have it." Emily says sadly and I can see tears start to form in her eyes.

"Emily why are you being so silly it's just a name." I ask gently knowing that I'm not going to get through to her by just giving her into trouble. "What's going on?"

"You keep leaving me out." Emily says sadly as tears start to fall from her eyes. "You love her more."

"What? Of course not honey I love you _so_much. Why do you think I love her more?" I ask concerned.

"You keep sending me away so you can be with her without me." Emily chokes out and I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly.

"Oh honey that doesn't mean I love her more, I love both of you so much. Santana and I sometimes need to talk about things that you shouldn't hear, that's the only reason I send you away." I coo and wipe the tears on her face away.

"Sweetie we love it so much more when your there. You're so much fun to be around." Santana adds placing a hand on Emily's back and rubbing it soothingly. "Plus I can tell your mommy loves you more than anything."

"Really?" Emily asks gloomily looking up at me with teary eyes.

"Really and if it makes you this upset I won't call her baby, okay?" I say running my fingers through her hair soothingly. "But Santana is going to be around a lot so you're going to have to get used to sharing me."

"I don't mind sharing. I don't want to be left out." Emily says glumly.

"I promise to try and make sure you're always included." I say holing my pinky out to her.

She smiles sadly and wraps her own pinky around mine and then turns to Santana who is standing beside us uncertainly.

"Sorry for being rude Tana." Emily apologizes. "I'm happy mommy has you."

"Apology accepted. I'm sorry you felt left out though because I really do love being with your mom _and_ you. You're my favorite girls." Santana say softly wiping some more of the tears from Emily's face.

"S'okay." Emily says and then she suddenly looks sad all over again.

"What wrong now?" I ask.

"I don't have an ice-cream and I'm hungry." She sighs sadly.

"You shouldn't have thrown it then should you." I point out.

"She can share mine." Santana pipes in and I'm about to tell her no because it's Emily's own fault she doesn't have one but Santana speaks before I have the chance. "I feel bad, Emily felt left out because of me."

I think for a minute and decide that there no point in trying to tell her no because she'll just feel bad when Emily starts wining more.

"Fine, but Em you need to understand that if you're upset you should tell me. Throwing a tantrum isn't good." I say sternly looking at Emily.

"Yes mommy." Emily says remorsefully.

"Okay." I respond and Santana sits down next to us.

"Can I sit in your lap Tana?" Emily asks looking at Santana hopefully.

"Sure munchkin." Santana says and lifts Emily into her lap and holds her ice-cream out for her.

"Thank you." Emily says and starts eating Santana's ice-cream.

* * *

After we're done at the park we head over to an Italian bistro for dinner. I suggested we just cook at home but Santana wanted to treat us, I think she's still trying to make up for earlier and if it gets me free food I'm not going to complain. We're seated at one of the back booths and Emily and I are on one side and Santana's on the other. Emily's sitting doodling on the kids menu while Santana and I chat but we're interrupted when he waitress comes over to us.

"What can I get you?" The waitress asks, smiling at me and Santana.

"Can I have the Chicken Alfresco and the Spaghetti Bolognese for her with two waters?" I order politely.

"And I'll have the Chicken Parmesan and lemonade." Santana adds smiling friendlily at the waitress.

"Sure, your food should be ready soon. If you need anything else feel free to shout me over." The waitress says as she walks away with our orders.

When we're left alone I glance to Emily beside me and see her trying to color in a picture of a giraffe.

"Can I help baby?" I ask picking up one of the crayons beside her.

"Sure. You do the sky!" Emily says cheerily. "It has to be blue though." She adds seriously.

"Okay." I respond and pick up the blue crayon and help her.

We sit in silence coloring until our food comes and then we move the paper away so we can eat.

"Can you cut this for me Tana?" Emily asks gently pushing her plate in front of her towards Santana.

"Sure Ems." Santana replies and starts to cut up Emily's spaghetti for her.

Once she's done she slides the plate back over to Emily and we all dig into our food.

We eat pretty quickly and decide not to get dessert because we'll just make something at home. Santana's then pays the bill and we head out to walk back to my apartment.

When we get home Emily declares that its Disney night and runs off to pick a film while me and Santana head to the kitchen to try and find some snacks. When everything's gathered me and Santana head to the living room and sit on the couch and Emily put's the DVD in and then hands me the remote and grabs the blanket off the back of the armchair. She then run over to us and drapes it over me and Santana with a bit of a struggle and snuggles in between us.

"What we watching?" Santana asks.

"Wreck-It Ralph! It's one of my favorites." She replies excitedly, bouncing up and down on the couch.

"Cool. I've never seen it." Santana replies.

"You've never seen it!" Emily exclaims in disbelief. "It's sooo good, you're gonna love it!"

"I think I will, you have awesome taste after all." Santana replies sweetly, ruffling Emily hair.

"Tana don't." Emily chuckles and swat's Santana's hand away.

"Sorry." Santana giggles.

I just laugh at the two of them and press play on the movie and we all snuggle together on the couch to watch.

* * *

We're an hour into the film and I glance beside me and notice that Emily's drifted off to sleep with her head on Santana's chest and Santana seems too engrossed in the movie to notice. I smile affectionately at the picturesque moment in front of me and sigh when I realize I have to ruin it. I stand up off the couch and Santana's attention snaps to me and she looks at me curiously. Smiling at her softly I lift Emily off her chest and carry her off to her room to out her to bed.

Once I've managed to get Emily into her pajamas and tucked into bed without waking her up I walk back out into the living room and find Santana cuddled under a blanket on the couch with the t.v. turned off. She must hear me come in because she turns to face me and a massive grin breaks out on her face.

"Hey, come snuggle." She says softly and opens the blanket up for me.

Walking over to her I move the blanket so I can wrap my arms around her and she wraps the blanket around the both of us and then snuggles into me. We sit in silence for a while enjoying each other's company but eventually Santana breaks the silence.

"So did I redeem myself for my behavior earlier?" Santana asks quietly and I can tell she's nervous to hear my response.

"I think so but you need to talk to me about how you're feeling in future." I say softly not wanting to interrupt our tranquil moment. "It's just like I told Emily earlier."

"I promise to try." Santana responds nuzzling her head into my neck and we relax back into a peaceful silence.

I hear Santana start to hum quietly beside me and I realize I've not actually heard her sing since I've been back.

"Can you sing for me?" I ask and Santana raises her head to stare at me curiously.

"I'm not sure B, I wouldn't know what to sing." She says apologetically.

"I don't care, I just want to hear you." I respond quietly snuggling into Santana's side.

"Okay but I haven't sung in a while so be gentle with me." Santana chuckles and pauses for a moment before she starts to sing the first few lines of a very familiar song.

_I took my love and I took it down__  
I climbed a mountain and I turned around__  
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills__  
'Till the landslide brought me down_

I smile into her neck and listen as she continues to sing the song softly and it's like heaven to my ears. I get so wrapped up in it I don't realize she's come to the end and look up at her surprised when she stops and she just sends me a cute smile when our eyes meet.

"I miss you singing." I say quietly, nuzzling back into Santana's neck.

"I was just singing B." Santana chuckles while she runs her fingers through my hair.

"I know. I mean you singing in front of a crowd." I correct.

"Really, why?" She asks curiously, stopping her ministrations on my hair.

"You always used to light up and look so happy, it's pretty amazing to watch." I say looking up at her.

"I guess, I've just not really wanted to sing much since you left." Santana says honestly and I can't blame her for telling me the truth even if it does make me feel a bit guilty.

"I'm sorry" I mumble quietly looking away from her.

"It's not your fault B. Like you said I could have done something with my life but I decided to give up instead." Santana replies softly lifting her hand to turn my head to face her again.

"Well… I'm back now so you could sing in front of people again." I suggest hopefully, looking into her eyes to see her reaction.

"I don't know Britt. It's been a while." Santana says dubiously.

"So? Your voice is still amazing. You should totally try it again." I encourage.

"I don't think so Britt. Sorry." Santana says apologetically.

"Oh… okay." I sigh sadly resting my head on her shoulder.

I really would love to hear Santana sing to a crowd again, she's an amazing performer. I can't help but feel a little guilty, like I stole that from her. She only stopped when I left and maybe if I hadn't she would still be singing. I guess I can't change anything all I can do now is try to encourage her to sing now.

"It's getting late I should probably go." Santana sighs sadly.

"Yeah probably." I agree glumly.

"I'll see you soon though." Santana says as she stands up from the couch. "Oh I meant to ask earlier, do you want to come round for Thanksgiving with Quinn, Tina and me?"

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah Tina told me to invite you ages ago I just forgot." She says embarrassedly.

"I'd love to. Thank you for inviting me." I respond cheerily and stand up of the couch so I'm facing her.

"You don't have to thank me, I want you to come. I'm inviting you for purely selfish reasons." Santana replies with a megawatt smile pulling me into a hug so our faces are centimeters apart.

"So…" I say looking into her eyes.

"So…" Santana replies raising an eyebrow.

She smirks and leans forward and gives me a gentle kiss and I respond eagerly, I want to push it further but before I can Santana pulls away.

"I'll see you soon." She says and then leans in and pecks my lips again.

She untangles herself from me and starts to walk backwards towards the door.

"Bye" She says gleefully before turning around.

"Bye." I shout after her and she turns and flashes me a smile before she walks out of the apartment.

Santana's POV

Once I'm out of Brittany's building I pull my phone out and type in a familiar number and bring it to my ear waiting for the person on the other end to pick up.

"_Jackson Wood's speaking." _Jackson answers.

"Hey Jacks its Santana. I have a favor to ask." I reply.

"_Hey Sanny, what can I do for you?" _He says cheerily.

"I was wondering if you were still looking for someone to fill that singer position at The Lounge." I ask hopefully.

"_Yeah why..." _He replies suspiciously.

"I want to apply." I say confidently.

"_Darlin' you know I love you and you have a beautiful voice but after what happened last time I don't know if I can risk it." _Jackson says apologetically and I deflate a little but I'm not going to give up that easily.

"I promise that won't happen again. Please Jacks I really want to try again. If I choke I'll tend bar for two weeks without pay. Please just give me a chance." I beg.

The line is silent for a minute and then I hear a resigned sigh.

"_I can never say no to you. Though I want three weeks free work if it goes wrong." _He bargains playfully.

"Deal. Thank you so much!" I say excitedly.

"_My pleasure. I'll need you to come to The Lounge at eight on Monday to officially audition. I don't think I'd not give you the job though."_ He laughs.

"I'll be there! Thank you so much Jacks." I say happily.

"_Anything for you hun. Well I got to get back to work. See you on Monday." _He says.

"Okay. Bye." I say and hang up.

I can't help the happy dance I break out into, the people on the street probably think I'm crazy but right now I don't give a flying fuck. I got a singing job! Well an audition but there's no way Jackson would hire someone else. I know I told Brittany I didn't want to perform again but I really do want to try, I just don't want her to know just yet in case I do choke again. I don't think I could handle her seeing me fail again. Plus it'll be an awesome surprise, I could invite her out for a date then surprise her by getting up and singing on stage, that'd be awesome.

I turn and start the walk to my apartment and I don't think anything could wipe the smile from my face. My life is pretty fricking good right now.

* * *

**A/N: There you have it :) Yeah it's a bit short but I'm going through serious writers block right now and I really hate everything I write at the moment. Thanks for reading and please leave a review, I really love hearing what you guys think.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hello :) Thank you for all the follows, favorites and review I got on the last chapter :) I'm so so sorry I didn't post this sooner I was *insert one of the many possible excuses from my shambles of a life here* :P. I can't even say I spent ages making this chapter really good as an apology cause I didn't, but I am still sorry for the long wait. So here's my response to reviews, hopefully you remember what you actually wrote :P (p.s. I totally nearly accidentally published my course work instead of this chapter... I'm so smart :P)**

**kezza89: I'm glad you survived :P**

**MandyJai13: Thank you :D I'm definitely thinking about it :) It's tough but I think I powered through it… by not writing :P I'll try :)**

**HikariKou: I'm glad you like Santana singing again and hope you like this very long overdue chapter :)**

**tinygleek: Thank you for the review :D I'm happy you like the Emily stuff :)**

**So back to the story, any mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other products or places mentioned in the story.**

* * *

Santana's POV

I've never been a big fan of Thanksgiving. I mean usually it just involves me getting dragged home to Lima and being forced to sit around with my extended family while they all ask about my life and then pretend not to judge me when they find out how very unfulfilling it really is. This year is different though, this year I'm in New York and I'm going to spend the day with my amazing girlfriend and her daughter as well as my two best friends. Sure getting out of going home wasn't easy since I couldn't really tell my mom why I wanted to stay. She doesn't know about Brittany yet and that might make me a terrible person for not telling her but I avoid things, that's how I roll, and I'm going to avoid the uncomfortable conversation with my parents for as long as possible because I love Brittany and I'm not going to let their judgment ruin that. They actually probably won't judge us, they always loved Brittany and when they find out the truth I'm sure they'll welcome her back with open arms but I'm a coward, I'll tell them eventually. So this year I am actually looking forward to Thanksgiving and for once I don't care that Tina has roped me into cooking ridiculous amounts of food because I want to do it. I want to have an amazing Thanksgiving with my New York family and I am not ashamed to admit I'm ridiculously exited.

That is why when I hear my alarm go off and I look at my clock and see I've been woken up at nine in the morning on a holiday after working until two last night instead of complaining about it being early I just get out of bed and get ready for the day.

When I walk into the kitchen I realize I'm the first up and I can't help but feel a little proud of myself. I walk over to the coffee maker and turn it on because no matter how willing I am to be awake I still need coffee to get my day going. I set three mugs out on the counter and when the maker is done I fill them and decide to give the others five more minutes of sleep before I wake them up.

"Ughh early." I hear Quinn complain as she walks into the kitchen rubbing at her eyes sleepily and then slumps down onto one of the chairs.

"There's coffee for you on the side." I say and Quinn lifts her head and smiles at me gratefully.

"Why do we even have to be up this early? It's a holiday we're supposed to sleep in till twelve." Quinn moans as she grabs her coffee and starts sipping on it furiously.

"It's Thanksgiving, we need to get everything ready for lunch." I respond simply.

"Lunch? We haven't even had breakfast yet." Quinn grumps.

"I'll tell you what. If you cheer up I'll cook you pancakes for breakfast and I'll even make extra bacon. Does that sound good Quinny Pooh?" I say overly sweetly and Quinn glares at me.

"I'm not five Satan." She responds gruffly.

"Could have fooled me with the way you're acting." I respond bluntly.

"Shut up." She mumbles. "And since when do you volunteer to cook anything?" She asks suspiciously.

"Britt and Ems are coming over at nine-thirty and I had to promise Emily pancakes to get her here so early so I was going to make them anyway." I respond.

When I stand up and make my way to the cooker and I catch Quinn smirking from the corner of my eye so wait for her to say something but she just keeps quiet and smirks and eventually I crack and turn to glare at her.

"What are you smirking at?" I snap in annoyance.

"Nothing really." Quinn chuckles. "Just how whipped you are by a three year old."

"I'm not whipped!" I respond quickly. "And she's nearly four." I add.

"Like that makes it better Santana. It used to be funny to just watch how whipped Britt had you in high school but now both of them have you and it's just too funny to see HBIC Santana Lopez doing an 'almost four year olds' bidding." She laughs and I send her another glare.

"Shut up." I mumble embarrassedly setting to work on the pancakes.

It's not like she's actually lying, I am whipped. I would pretty much do anything that Brittany or Emily asked me to do but that isn't a bad thing it that just means I want to look after the important people in my life. It'd be worse if I didn't do this stuff for them.

"So how did your second audition yesterday go?" Quinn asks, thankfully changing the subject.

"It went well. I'm still pissed that Jackson is even thinking about hiring that other girl over me but I think I'll get it in the end." I reply as I start to cook the pancake batter.

"Well he had to be fair, I mean she did have an audition before you called demanding the job." Quinn points out.

"Yeah I know but that didn't mean he had to spend two weeks deliberating between us before calling us in again. He could have decided quicker." I say in frustration.

This whole process of trying to get a new job has been really annoying for me. When Jackson and I talked on the phone I was sure I'd get the job after I auditioned but then it turns out he had another girl coming in to audition too. I've heard her sing and she is good but she's only like eighteen, I'm twenty four I should totally get the priority. I already wasted enough time doing nothing when I could have been trying to make it as a singer and I really want this job.

"You know Jackson. He likes to take his time." Quinn says trying to comfort me.

"Yeah I know, but if he chooses her I'm totally going to kick his southern jewels." I gripe.

"That sounds totally fair." Quinn says sarcastically, rolling her eyes at me.

"Yup." I respond nonchalantly.

Quinn's about to say something else but luckily a knock at the door interrupts us.

"Watch the pancakes." I shout as I run excitedly to answer the door.

Getting there in record time I pull the door open and when I see what's on the other side I can't help the goofy grin that spreads across my face. In front of me is one of the cutest things I've ever seen. Brittany is smiling at me tiredly clutching a sleeping Emily, who is dressed in a giraffe onesie with the hood pulled over her head, to her own dinosaur onesie covered chest.

"Hey San." Brittany greets cheerily.

"Hey Britt. What's with the onesies? Not that you don't look adorable in them, which you do." I ask grinning at the blondes in front of me.

"Emily would only come if she was dressed in it and I thought I might as well join in." Brittany says embarrassedly.

"Well you both look super cute." I say and lean forward to peck her on the lips. "I totally want one."

"Thanks I don't think the people we saw on the street would agree though. I think the thought I was crazy." She chuckles. "I brought proper clothes with us to, I'll get her changed when she wakes up again."

"It's fine, I wouldn't mind if you stayed in that for the rest of the day. You look so cute." I answer happily and then usher them into the flat.

I lead Brittany into the kitchen and when we get there I see Emily's head suddenly rise from where it had been resting on Brittany's chest.

"Pancakes?" Emily mumbles sleepily and I chuckle as she sniffs the air around her.

"Uh huh but only awake people get them." Brittany teases poking at the little girl's side playfully.

"I am awake." The little girl grumbles.

"Okay, then I'm sure if you ask Quinn she'll give you one." Brittany responds setting Emily down on one of the chairs.

"Quinn can I have a pancake please." Emily asks cutely.

"I'll tell you what, you can have this if you go wake up Tina." Quinn answers as she expertly flips the pancake in the pan.

"Do you need grown up time?" Emily asks looking down sadly.

"No honey, we're all just too lazy to go get her. Plus she won't get mad at you." Quinn replies good-humoredly trying to reassure the little girl.

"Okay." Emily answers unconvinced standing up from her chair.

"I'll come help you baby." Brittany says cheerily and lifts Emily up, playfully throwing her over her shoulder.

"Ah! Mommy put me down." Emily squeals.

"I will when we get to Tina's room." Brittany laughs as she carries Emily out the room.

I watch them go with a smile plastered to my face and even when they're out of sight I continue to stare in the direction they walked in. I stay like that until a cough from behind me snaps me back to attention and I turn around to see Quinn smirking at me.

"So whipped." Is all she says before turning back to the pancakes and I can't even bring myself to disagree.

Walking over to the table I sit down and pick up my coffee enjoying the peacefulness of the morning but it is suddenly interrupted when I hear a screaming coming from the other side of the apartment. Quickly standing up I follow the noises and end up at Tina's open door and when I peer inside I see Tina being held down by Brittany while Emily does her best to tickle Tina's flailing body.

"Guys stop! This isn't funny!" Tina shout/giggles trying to get free of Brittany's hold. "Santana help!" Tina shouts when she spots me.

"I would help if you'd have gotten up on time." I say with a shrug and she glares at me in response.

"Emily stop!" Tina shouts again and this time Emily backs off.

"Emily keep going." Brittany says continuing to hold Tina down.

"But she told me to stop mommy." Emily responds looking at her mom unsurely.

"You're lucky I have an obedient daughter." Brittany huffs playfully as she finally releases Tina's arms.

"God never wake me up like that again." Tina sulks as she gets out of bed and heads out of her room.

"Can't promise anything." Brittany shouts after her.

"You're so mean Britt." I tease playfully as I turn to follow Tina to the kitchen.

"Hey I'm not mean." Brittany protests behind me. "I'm adorable." She says with a cute smirk on her face.

"Yes you are." I respond as we get back to the kitchen to find Quinn laying plates around the table.

"Breakfast is served." Quinn says and we all sit around the table and dig into the food in front of us.

* * *

After breakfast we set to work on preparing the food for lunch. We're all given jobs by Tina and I can't help but grin when Emily and I get assigned to the vegetables together. We commander the table and Emily washes everything and I then peel and cut it up. After about an hour of prep everything's ready to be cooked so Brittany and Emily go change while Tina and I set to work on the cooking. After another two hours of slaving away in the kitchen the food is ready and laid out on the table and we all gather around and sit down.

"I think we should all say what we're thankful for before we eat." Tina says before any of us can dig into the food on our plates. "I'll go first. I'm thankful for my amazing friends and boyfriend. And that I'm doing well at school." Tina says not really giving anyone a chance to object. "Quinn?"

"Okay…" Quinn says unsurely. "I'm thankful for my amazing friends and awesome job." Quinn says simply. "Em?"

"I'm thankful for mommy and Tana and Tina and Quinn and Luke and Adam. Oh and ducks." Emily says with a grin.

"Good answer Ems." I encourage and lean over to high five her. "Well I'm thankful that the most amazing woman came back into my life and she brought an equally amazing little girl into my life as well. They are the most important people in my life and I'll never stop being thankful that they came and found me." I say and look over at Britt and see her smiling sweetly at me. "Oh yeah I guess I'm thankful for my friends too, there okay I guess." I joke and Quinn hits my arm playfully. "Britt?"

"I'm thankful for this food." Brittany deadpans staring at the table and we all look at her and chuckle at her serious expression.

"Good to know we mean so much to you Britt." Quinn teases throwing smirk at the older blonde.

"I guess I'm thankful for my beautifully baby girl, smoking hot Santana and fabulous friends as well. Oh that was alliteration! I'm a poet and I just don't know it." Brittany chuckle's excitedly and I can't help but join in.

"Please never stop being so adorable." I say grinning at Brittany happily.

"Never." She responds with a beaming smile.

"Can we eat now?" Emily says interrupting our moment.

"Sure Em, dig in." Tina responds and suddenly the table is a flurry of forks as everyone starts eating.

* * *

After dinner we all clean up and decide to gather in the living room for a movie marathon. We of course let Emily choose the films we end up watching Finding Nemo, Beauty and the Beast and Up. By the time the credits for the last film are rolling Emily is nearly falling asleep between me and Brittany and I can't bear the thought that my two favorite blondes are going to have to leave soon. I decide that I don't want them to leave so I'm going to do something about it.

"You want to stay here tonight?" I ask Brittany. "Ems can sleep in the guest bedroom and you already have pj's with you."

"Are you sure that'd be okay?" Brittany asks unsurely.

"Yeah it'd be more than okay." I reply smiling at Brittany excitedly.

"Okay then, I'll just go put Em to bed." Brittany replies happily as she stands and picks up Emily.

"Can I com help?" I ask hopefully glancing nervously at Brittany.

"Yeah I'd like that." Brittany replies as she settles Emily in her arms.

I follow Brittany to the guest room and rush in front of her to hold the door open since her arms are full with Emily at the moment. When she gets in she places Emily on the bed and then grabs a bag by the bed which I assume has her pj's in it. After quickly changing Emily she tucks her in under the covers and places a kiss on her forehead and then I move forward so I'm beside Emily and place a kiss on her forehead as well. When I look up after doing this I spot Brittany giving me a loving look and I blush and look down shyly before grabbing her hand and leading her out of the guest room and down the hall to my own room.

Brittany's POV

"What are we doing in here?" I ask curiously as Santana leads me into her room.

"I thought we could hang out alone for a bit. If that's okay with you." Santana replies and I can see a hint of nerves when she speaks.

"That's definitely okay with me." I respond encouragingly.

"It's still early you wanna watch another film?" Santana asks moving over to her film collection on the dresser.

"I actually had a different idea." I say seductively batting my eyelashes at her.

"Oh yeah?" Santana replies with a raised eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

"Come here and I'll show you." I beckon smiling at Santana suggestively.

With a smirk Santana complies and walks over to stand in front of where I'm sitting on the bed. Pulling on the back of her thighs I move her until she's on her knees with her thighs either side of my hips straddling my lap. She looks down at me with a cute smirk and I catch help but match her expression. I lean up and give her a gentle kiss on the lips before moving my hands to rest low on her hips.

"Why Miss Pierce, are you trying to seduce me?" Santana teases playfully moving her hands to rest on my shoulders.

"Actually Miss Lopez I'm trying to make love to you." I respond simply and Santana's face flushes obviously surprised by my blunt answer.

"Well I'm not going to object to that." Santana responds quietly, locking our eyes in an intense stare.

Leaning forward I connect our lips in a gentle kiss, it's not rushed, we just move them against each other. It's just the two of us together right now and it feels amazing. We kiss innocently for what feels like forever but then I feel a tongue brush against my bottom lip and the edges of my lips turn up and I open my mouth slightly to accommodate Santana. Our tongues dance together gently and I can't help but moan as the taste and smell of her takes over all of my senses. I feel her push me back slightly and we gently fall back onto the bed until I'm lying down with Santana hovering above me holding her weight on her arms either side of me. I look up at her and catch her grinning down at me like she's just won a million dollars.

"You have no idea how much I've missed this." Santana whispers as she looks down at me lovingly.

"I think I do." I respond matching her grin.

She shoots me one more smile before she leans down and captures my lips in hers. I feel her push against me deepening our kiss and I can't get enough, I want all of her right now and we've barley even started. I sense her hand move from where it was holding her up beside me and then a I feel hand playing with the hem of my t-shirt and when a cool hand slips underneath and starts to trace gentle patterns across my stomach it causes my muscles to clench and ripple with every movement of her fingers. I feel a wetness start to pool between my legs and I can't believe how turned on I'm getting by what could be considered quite innocent touching considering what we've done together in the past. I feel so turned on though and I don't even care if I'm embarrassingly wet.

I feel the hand that was under my shirt start to drag the material up my body, trying to remove it, and I'm more than willing to oblige, lifting my upper body of the bed so Santana can pull it off. When it's gone I look up at Santana and see her eyes practically bulging out there sockets as she stares at my boobs and I remember I'm not actually wearing a bra right now. I can't help the chuckle that escapes my lips as I watch her stare and when Santana hears it her eyes snap up to look at my face and I see a light red shade color her cheeks.

"Sorry." She mumbles embarrassedly nuzzling her face into my neck embarrassedly.

"To be honest I'd be more offended if you didn't stare at my boobs." I joke back, lifting a hand to stroke through her hair.

"You can't really blame me, you have amazing boobs." She says playfully.

"That I do." I respond with a firm nod and Santana giggles in response. "But I'd very much like it if I got to see yours too. You know the rules, I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

Santana laughs happily and I can't help smile when I hear it. I've always loved how we're intimate with each other, we have fun together and don't take ourselves to seriously. I mean sure there where the times when we'd make love to each other passionately for hours but most of the time we just had fun together, not afraid to be silly or suggest doing something that could be considered strange, that's how I got my armpit fetish.

I sit up on the bed pushing Santana with me and pull her top off, her bra quickly following after. Like her my eyes nearly bulge out at the sight of her rambunctious twins in front of me and Santana catches me staring and a shit eating grin appears on her face. She pushes me back onto the bed forcefully trapping me in place with her body on top of me. Pouncing on my neck she goes straight for all the places she knows I like, and I groan in appreciation.

Out of nowhere an image of a blurry figure above me flashes through my mind and I feel my body freeze up rapidly and my breathing starts to quicken. As Santana continues her ministrations on top of me another blurry image flashes through my mind and this time I can make out a man's face above me. I can't push the sudden feeling that I'm suffocating away. I don't know where these images have come from, after all I did initiate this I want this, it's nothing like _that_. But now I'm lying underneath Santana these images are suddenly appearing in my mind and I can feel panic start to rise in my chest and I really wish it wasn't.

"Santana stop, please." I say gently trying to keep as calm as possible.

Santana lifts her head from where she was attacking my neck and retreats her body so she's leaning on her hands that are either side of me. Our eyes meet and she looks at me confusedly and I really don't know what to say to her. I started this and now I'm telling her to stop, I don't blame her for being confused. I quickly pull myself out from underneath her and move to sit crossed legged on the bed with her mirroring my position, neither of us caring if we're topless right now. I feel a sense of relief flood through me at my freedom but it's immediately followed by one of guilt, she's my girlfriend and I love her I should want this, I do want this but something is stopping me, _it's _stopping me.

"Was it not good for you?" She asks quietly averting her eyes from mine but I still catch the ashamed and embarrassed look in her eyes.

"It isn't you." I reassure her knowing that despite the current anxious feeling I'm having I never want her to think I don't want to be with her. "I just…" I trail off not knowing how to talk to her about what passed through my mind minutes ago.

How do I tell her that being together more intimately with her reminded me of being attacked? Those two things shouldn't be linked together in any way. I don't know why it even happened now, we had sex after the attack and nothing happened, why did it happen now? Is it because I actually acknowledged my attack? Because that's just not fair, acknowledging it should make it easier not harder. I don't want to tell her because it'll hurt her feelings, she'll think it was something she did and that's not true, at least I think it's not. How do I tell her, what am I supposed to do? I feel the constricting feeling in my chest increase as more questions pop into my head and I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack but I can't let Santana see this, I have to seem okay so I plaster a calm look on my face and hope for the best.

"Britt are you okay? You're really quiet, what happened?" Santana asks worriedly.

I want to respond to her but I don't know how so I just sit there quietly staring into my lap. I feel sadness start to spread throughout me as the images from moments before flash through my mind again and this time they seem clearer then before and I can make out the man's dark unforgiving eyes staring down at me possessively. I feel a hand wrap around the one in my lap and I notice that Santana has intertwined our hands and look up to meet her curious eyes.

"Britt-Britt, you're freaking me out. Please tell me what's going on." Santana say gently stroking her thumb over the back of my hand.

I pause for a minute trying to find the best wording to tell her what happened but I know really that no matter how I tell her it'll hurt her. Eventually I decide that I might as well just tell her and deal with the consequences now.

"I had a flashback. A memory of… of my attack." I say softly surprising even myself by how calm I'm managing to remain.

"When we were…" Santana says looking at me curiously with an unreadable look in her eyes.

"Yeah." I respond looking down at our hands in my lap.

"Oh babe I'm so so so sorry. I shouldn't have been so rough, god I'm stupid. Are you okay?" She coos tenderly and I'm surprised by her reaction.

When I look up to meet her eyes instead of the hurt look I expect to see instead I see her looking at me with an overwhelming adoration, care and concern and I let the calm facade that I've managed to build crack slightly and respond to her question with a unsteady shake of my head.

"Oh honey I'm so sorry. Can I hold you?" The Latina ask lovingly and I feel myself start to give in to the sadness that I'm feeling knowing that Santana will be there to hold me and make sure I don't break entirely.

I nod my head and Santana quickly moves to my side and pulls me into her lap and I bury my face in her shoulder and let the emotions that I've been trying so hard to push down flow out. When the first sob escapes my lips I feel Santana's grip on me tighten and a hand comes to my back and begins to stroke it gently.

"It's okay Britt, I'm here. Everything's going to be okay." Santana coos as she soothes me in any way possible.

"I want it to just go away forever. It's not fair, why then? Why when I was finally getting to make love to you again?" I sob sadly clinging onto Santana for dear life.

"I don't know honey. You're right, it's not fair, but it's what happened." She says comfortingly. "I know it's hard and I know you want it to go away but maybe you remembering might help in the long run." I look up at her giving her a perplexed look through my steady tears. "I mean it might help you get closure, I know you think you have it and maybe you do, who am I to say how feel. I just think that this might help you let it go. If you knew exactly what happened and it wasn't all speculation you could know what really happened and deal with it." She says quietly as if she doesn't know whether she's allowed to talk.

"I thought I did have closure but now I don't know." I reply honestly, wiping the still flowing tears from my face. "I don't know what this means for me, for us. What if it happens every time we try have sex, what then?" I ask crestfallenly.

"Well either way, if you do or don't, I will be here. I'll always be here. Even if we can never have sex, I will be here. Until you don't want me anymore, I will be here. I love you and nothing will change that, you hear me." Santana states devotedly and somehow she is making this whole ordeal easier for me.

Santana's words have brought me back from the hysteria I was feeling minutes ago and I feel myself relax as she declares her dedication to me. I think back to the images I saw before and when I focus on them I still feel bile rise in my through and sadness clench my heart but Santana's strong arms wrapped around me keep me from losing myself and manage to keep me relatively calm. It amazing how knowing that I have someone who loves me and will be there for me is managing to keep me from the panic I was feeling just minutes ago but I guess that's the power of love.

"I don't want to never have sex again." I mumble sadly and I hear Santana chuckle ruefully above me.

"You really are amazing Miss Pierce." Santana says lovingly and I send her a questioning look. "You seem so calm, I mean I know you cried but that was for like only five minutes. If I was in your position I would be in full blown hysteria right now." Santana admits.

"Having you here helps. I was in hysteria but then you said you loved me and everything calmed down. I still feel horrible and I want to curl up in a ball but at the same time I don't want this to ruin the amazing day we've had." I say honestly.

"You are my hero Britt." Santana whispers softly as she places a kiss on my head. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." I reply. "Can we go to sleep know though cause all that crying's made me super tired."

"Sure babe." Santana replies and shuffles down on the bed so we're lying down with me on top of her. "Is this okay?" She asks worriedly.

"It's good." I reply snuggling my face into her still bare chest.

"Night B." She whispers and kisses my head.

"Night." I reply softly letting myself drift off into darkness feeling safe in Santana's arms.

* * *

**A/N: There you have it. As always when I talk about sensitive topics I have never been through sexual assault or known anyone who has and I hope I managed do the victims of these attacks justice in my writing. p.s the onesies are real, google them there awesome. So I'm having trouble writing about Brittana at the moment due to canon reasons :( I shouldn't be gone for that long this time though. As always thanks for reading and please leave a review, I really do love hearing what you guys think :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Bonjourno :) As always thanks for all the follows, favorites and reviews. Excuse number 143: I had an essay worth 30% of my grade due in this week so I've been working on that and my free time's been limited, sorry. I just wanted to reassure everyone that I'm not planning on giving up on this fic, I'm determined to keep going no matter what happens in canon so even when updates take a while I will be back eventually :)**

**Graq the Wild Child 2: Thank you for the review :D I'm glad you like Brittany's character, I always find her hard to get a good balance with so I really appreciate your comment :) It is sad that Heather might be leaving but I think she's going to be a wonderful mum so I'm happy for her either way. I won't give up on this story because I believe Brittany and Santana are soulmates and I'm going to write them that way.**

**Kaite: Thank you :) I'll try speed up the updates :P**

**Guest: "Great update!..." Thank you :) I will!**

**tinygleek: Thank you :) It's sad but we'll see how she copes with it.**

**HeyaBrittana95: Thank you :) I'm glad you were happy I included it as I felt I had been neglecting the effects of the rape on Brittany and needed to show how she was dealing with it.**

**BrittanasLoveChild: Thank you :) I did think about writing it like that but I thought the way they first wake up will, hopefully, be just as funny :) They are aren't they! I have a Koala one and I love it :P**

**LeighKelly: Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying it! :) I didn't mean to make you cry though, now I feel bad :P**

**p.s. I'm reading your fic '****Finding the Way Back' and really liking it so far :) Plus I'm jealous of how good at updating you are :P **

**(people should totally check this fic out, it's a really good read)**

**Guest****: ****"Please update soon..." Thank you :) Sorry it took so long.**

**Back to the story, any mistakes are mine.**

**Trigger warning: Discussion of rape, non-graphic, mostly heavy emotional impacts.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any other products or places mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Brittany's POV

I wake up when the warm pillow I've been snuggled into starts to move. Unwilling to give up the source of warmth I've been clinging to all night I grab the warm soft material in front of me and squeeze. When I hear a chuckle come from above me I blearily open my eyes to try and find out what the source of the noise is. I'm shocked when the first thing I see is a pair of gorgeous tanned breasts on full show in front of me with my hand gripping onto one of them, my eyes widen and I sit up, quickly retracting my hand. I hear another laugh and turn round to see Santana staring down at me with a huge smile.

"You really do like the twins don't you." Santana teases and I can feel a blush start to spread across my cheeks. "Not that I mind, but was there any reason in particular you were clinging to my boob." She continues and my cheeks just get redder.

"I thought they were a pillow." I mumble embarrassedly. "There really comfy."

"I'm glad I could be of service. Though next time try and be a bit gentler with them, they may be fake but there not indestructible." Santana jokes and I let out an embarrassed chuckle.

"Sorry about that, you were leaving though and I was trying to stop you. Wait why were you leaving?" I ask curiously.

"Quinn was calling me." Santana replies.

"Oh you should probably go see what she wants." I respond shifting my body off of her.

"I will but… are you're okay? I mean after what happened last night." Santana says cautiously.

I'm confused by what she's talking about at first and then the events of the night before start to resurface and the happiness I was feeling quickly fades and I feel the corners of my lips being pulled down into a grimace. Santana must see my reaction and she looks guilty.

"I know you probably don't want to talk about it I just want… I need to know if you're okay." Santana say worriedly looking at me with so much love and concern it makes me want to cry.

"I… I don't know." I say honestly, I can't lie to Santana about something like this.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry." Santana says earnestly. "What do you want to do about it?"

"I don't know." I say again looking down at my lap sadly.

My mind is so confused and conflicted and I don't know what to do right now. I know I feel sad and-angry, I think. I just want to forget again and despite what Santana said about me remembering potentially being a good thing I can't help but feel like it's one of the worst things that could have happened. I was so happy and I feel like that's all been ripped away from me in the blink of an eye and I want to scream and shot and cry all at the same time. I still can't remember everything but the parts that I can make me sick, I was barely conscious and I couldn't move but that didn't stop him. My feeble protests meant nothing to him, he just did what he wanted with me. As I start to think over what I remembered in more detail I feel bile star to rise in my throat, I thought last night was bad but thinking these things over in the clear light of day made me realize this isn't just some horrible nightmare. This is my life and these things happened to me. I thought last night was bad but what I'm feeling right now is ten times as bad.

Santana must notice me paling as she scoots over to me and gently wraps an arm around my waist.

"Britt, are you okay?" She asks gently.

I shake my head rapidly and keep my eyes down so she won't see my eyes start to fill with tears.

"What do you need? Right now, what will help?" Santana asks unsurely.

"Can you just hold me?" I respond weakly, I just need to feel Santana right now.

"Of course." Santana responds, shifting so she's sitting behind me with her arms and legs wrapped loosely around me. I can tell she's hesitant after what happened last night and I'm grateful for her tenderness.

I lean back into her and let her overtake my senses drowning out everything. I try and focus on her instead of everything else that is trying to surface in my brain. I don't want to think I just want to feel so I focus on the body behind me and the warm surrounding me.

Our quiet moment is interrupted when I hear a knock at the door.

"Hey S, are you awake?" Quinn shouts through the door.

"Yeah, what's up?" Santana replies reluctantly.

"Emily's awake and asking for Britt." She responds.

"Okay we'll be out in a minute." Santana replies. "Go look after her until we're out."

Santana looks at me questioningly, asking if I want to go out but I can't bring myself to leave the safety of this bed. I want to stay here in the safe warmth, I can't leave yet, it's my safe haven.

"I can't go out there yet, I just… I need more time to think." I say desperately, looking at Santana pleadingly.

"Okay, do you mind if I go out?" Santana asks cautiously.

"I… I want you to stay- but I know one of us needs to go. Emily will want to see one of us." I sigh resignedly.

"Alright, I'll be as quick as possible." She replies placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.

After she disentangles herself from me she heads towards the door, grabbing her t-shirt on the way.

"I love you." She says before she turns to walk out the door.

"I love you too." I reply, praying that it'll be enough to get me through.

Santana's POV

Once I'm out of the room I close the door behind me and lean back on it letting my eyes fall closed. I sigh and let the stress I've been trying to hide all night roll off me. I've been trying to be as supportive as I can for Brittany but really everything is just so overwhelming. I love her so much and seeing her in so much pain is killing me, I just want to make everything better.

"Tana." I hear Emily speak and open my eyes and see her looking up at me curiously. "Where's my mommy?"

"She's still sleeping but I came to see what you wanted." I reply putting on a reassuring smile for the little girl.

"I want breakfast." Emily replies unsurely, obviously still questioning her mother's absence.

"Okay then, what do you want? I'll make it for you." I ask.

"Waffles." Emily responds holding her arms up to me.

"Okay, let's go make some." I respond, bending down and picking her up, perching her on my hip.

"Can mommy come too?" Emily asks hopefully.

"Why don't we let your mommy sleep for a bit longer and then wake her later?" I suggest enthusiastically.

"Okay." She says disappointedly.

I carry Emily into the kitchen and see Quinn and Tina sitting at the table with mugs of coffee in their hands.

"Hey S, where's Britt?" Quinn asks.

"She's sleeping right now but she might be out later." I respond setting Emily down on one of the kitchen chairs. "But right now Ems and I are gonna make waffles, isn't that right sweetie." I say excitedly trying to cheer the atmosphere up.

"Uh huh!" Emily replies cheering up at the mention of fodd. "Can I mix?"

"Sure, we need to get the stuff to make them first." I say and move into the pantry to get everything together.

After we have everything we need we set to work. I measure everything into a bowl and then Emily mixes it. It takes us about half an hour to get everything cooked and when we're done I put the food down on the table for everyone.

"I'm gonna see if Britt's awake." I say before walking out of the kitchen towards me room.

When I get there I hesitate for a moment unsure if I should knock or just walk straight in, I mean it is my room but I don't want to surprise Brittany. I decide to knock gently but when I get no response I push the door open and walk in closing it gently behind me. I see Brittany lying on the bed curled up in the fetal position and I can tell she is crying from the soft tremors wracking her body.

"Brittany." I call out softly.

I get no response but I can tell she's heard me as a hand quickly moves to wipe the tears that I guess are covering her face.

"Britt." I repeat softly as I walk over to the bed and take a seat on the end.

The mattress dips beneath me as I sit down and I remain still where I am unsure of what I'm supposed to do. I can't help but worry as the time goes by and no real recognition of my presence comes from Brittany. I'm just starting to panic when I feeble voice comes from the other end of the bed.

"I can't cope." She says brokenly and I feel my heart break into a million pieces at the defeat in her voice.

"What do you mean Britt?" I ask gently trying to understand what she's really saying.

"I thought I was coping last night but it turns out I just hadn't processed it fully yet. Then I thought I was coping when you were here but then you left and… and it was too much, it all came back to me. All the memories came back and it was all I could think about. I can't cope and I'm so confused because I was coping. I was coping for four years and then I broke. Why did I break?" She says and I can hear her slowly giving in to despair.

"You're not broken Britt, you just remembered something horrible that happened to you. In some ways it's kind of like it happened again because you're seeing all these things for the first time so it's okay to need help. You will get through this and I'll be here and so will Emily and Quinn and Tina. You are not alone and you will get through this." I say firmly, I am not going to let her give up she's strong and I just need to remind her.

"I don't know. I want it all to just go away again, I wish I'd never come back here and then maybe I wouldn't have remembered." She says desperately and I can't help the pain I fell when she says that. If she hadn't of come back we wouldn't be together again and that's not something I'd ever wish.

"You don't mean that Brittany." I say and I can feel the desperation lacing my words, I need to know she doesn't really mean that.

"I don't know what I mean. I… I was so happy and then it all got taken away from me." She sobs and I feel my heart break as I watch her sink further into this pit of despair. "I just can't do this. It was hard enough the first time when I couldn't even remember anything but now it's all here, I can picture exactly what he did to me. Every touch, every whisper, every look, they're burned into my brain and I can't deal with it, I can't" She cries dejectedly and I can feel tears start to run down my face.

I wish she'd just look at me so I could see her, I need to look into her eyes and reassure her that everything is going to be okay. I need to help her.

"You made it through the first time though Britt and sure you didn't remember it all but you had other difficult things that you had to deal with then and you still made it through. You will make it through." I say reassuringly but I'm not really sure who I'm reassuring anymore, me or Brittany.

"I don't want to have to make it through again, you're only supposed to have to deal with these things once. Why do I have to deal with it twice, how is that fair?" She asks, finally turning to face me and I can see anger and sadness in her eyes.

"It's not." I respond simply because it's the truth, this is not fair at all.

"Then why is it happening?" She asks her eyes boring into mine as if I have answers to questions we both know I will never have.

"I don't know." I respond powerlessly. "But it is and you're going to make it through."

"Stop saying that!" Brittany cries in frustration. "You don't know that so stop saying it. I can't cope and I'm going to fail." She says and I'm shocked as Brittany is always a very positive person and hearing her talk like this is so surreal.

"Britt you were getting by this morning, you were coping then. Think about that, you knew and you were coping. You can do this." I try and encourage her despite my fear of how she'll retaliate.

"That was different, you were with me this morning." She says vaguely and I'm confused by her words, I'm with her right now.

"I'm here right now. If I helped this morning I can help now. Let me help you." I plead, I'd do anything to try and make Brittany feel better she just has to ask.

"It's all well and good you helping me right now, but what happens when I go home and you're not there? Who will be there to hold my hand and tell me everything's going to be okay then. How can I look after Emily when I can't even look after myself right now?" She says defiantly.

I don't really know how to respond to that but then an idea pops into my head and I say it before I can fully consider its implications.

"Move in here then." I say and Brittany's eyes widen in shock.

"What?" She asks incredulously.

"I don't mean move in move in just… you should stay here, until you feel better. You wouldn't even have to share a room with me or anything, you and Ems can take the spare room. I just think... I mean if I help you cope then I want to. I want to help you Britt and I will do anything." I say honestly.

"Santana I don't know, that doesn't seem like it would really help in the long term. I wouldn't really be coping I'd be relying on you." She says doubtfully and despite her reluctance I can't help but feel a little happy that I've actually got her to talk about getting better.

"You wouldn't be relying on me, I'd be helping you and that's what girlfriends are supposed to do." I argue.

"I don't think I can Santana, I'd have to move Emily and that wouldn't be good for her." She resists.

I can tell she's still really upset but the fact that she's not just talking about how she can't deal with things anymore and is actually discussing what's best for her daughter in a relatively clam manor has restored my hope in her believing in herself. Despite how bad she's feeling right now she can still objectively look at how things are going to affect her daughter and to me that's a sign that she can make it through this.

"Answer me this, which would be worse for her; moving house temporarily or seeing you struggle so badly." I say and I know I'm going into dangerous territory but she needs to think about this.

"I… I guess moving would be better but Santana I don't want to just dump all my crap on you. I'm a mess and I don't even know what I'm supposed to do next. You really want to have a person like that living with you." She challenges obviously trying to make me see the flaws in my plan but I'm not going to let her discourage me.

"I want you living with me." I respond simply.

"Fine." She responds reluctantly and to be honest I'm surprised that she actually agreed.

"Good, you wanna go see if there's any waffles left?" I ask hopefully, I know Emily would really appreciate seeing Brittany right now.

"No. To be honest all I want to do right now is curl up in a ball and hide in here all day." She says and I can feel the progress we'd made start to slip away again.

"Do you want me to hide with you?" I ask hopefully.

"Yeah, I would like that." She responds and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay, give me a minute to go talk to Tina and then I'll be back and we can hide together all day." I respond standing up off the bed and heading towards the door. "Don't think too much while I'm gone." I say seriously as I walk out of the door and close it behind me.

I head towards the kitchen and when I get there I'm met with three curious faces and no waffles.

"You ate all the food." I say.

"Yeah sorry, they were really good." Tina responds with an apologetic smile.

"It's fine. I'm not really that hungry anyway." I reply with a nonchalant shrug. "I have a favor to ask. Can you and Quinn take Emily and pick up some clothes and stuff for her and Britt. They're going to be staying here for a while." I ask and I see confused looks appear on Tina and Quinn's faces while Emily just looks exited.

"I'm staying here!" Emily says excitedly bouncing up and down on her chair.

"Yeah just for a while." I respond grinning at the little girls enthusiasm. Despite everything that's going on right now Emily will always be able to put a smile on my face.

"Cool!" Emily replies jumping off the chair and running to grab Tina's hand to pull her up too. "Come on lets go!" Emily says excitedly.

"Sure honey, I'm just going to talk to Santana for a bit. Go with Quinn and get dressed and I'll meet you in a minute." Tina says ushering the little girl off to get dressed.

When they're out of the room Tina turns to look at me and I can see all the unanswered questions she has.

"What's going on?" Tina asks bluntly.

"Brittany's going through something, I don't know if she'd want me to tell you the details but just know it's serious and she needs our help right now. I need you to watch Emily for the day while I stay with her." I reply giving Tina a pleading look, I need her to understand and be okay with Brittany and Emily staying here.

"Is she going to be okay?" Tina asks worriedly.

"I don't know, I hope she will be though." I respond simply.

"Okay, well I better go find Quinn and Emily. Can you ask her if it's okay to tell us what's going on? I just want to know so I can help in any way possible." Tina says and I feel my heart swell as I remember how amazing our friends are, there so willing to help and there support means a lot.

"I'll ask." I respond and Tina smiles gratefully and walks out of the kitchen to go find the others.

I decide I should try and get Brittany to eat something so I grab some cereal, milk, bowls and spoons and carry them back to my bedroom. After struggling to get the door open I finally get in and see that Brittany has moved from her lying down position and is now sitting against the headboard. From her new position I can see her face more clearly and I notice her eyes are red from crying and they are shadowed by large dark circles. She also seems paler and in general she just looks worn down. It's so opposite from the Brittany that I'm used to seeing that I have to do a double check to make sure this is the same girl I've been in love with for most of my life.

"You brought food." She says emotionlessly.

"I thought you might be hungry." I respond setting the things I brought through down on the bed.

"I'm not really hungry, I just want to sleep. Is Emily okay?" She asks and I'm glad she seems to at least be worried about Emily, she says she's not coping but she's thinking of Emily and that means something, right?

"She's fine. She's excited about staying here, she nearly broke the chair with all her bouncing." I respond with a chuckle and I see a smile try to form on Brittany's lips but almost as soon as it appears it's gone.

"That's good." Brittany replies but I can see a tear form in her eyes and it escapes and makes its way down her pale cheek.

"What you thinking." I ask carefully, moving up the bed so I'm leaning against the headboard next to her.

"I don't want her to see me like this." She says sadly and I see more tears run down her face. "I was thinking that I should see a therapist, to get better, to help me… deal with everything."

"I think if that's what you want to do it's a great idea." I respond encouragingly.

"I don't want to but I need to be better for Emily, so I'm going to." Brittany replies and I can hear a hint of determination in her voice that wasn't there when I left to talk to Tina.

"You didn't do what I said." I say and Brittany looks at me confusedly. "You got to thinking when I wasn't here."

"Yeah, but it wasn't bad thinking. I don't really know what going on with me right now. My emotions are all over the place but the clarification that I'd have you and Tina and Quinn around to help helped. I still have a hell of a long way to go to be anywhere near dealing with this but I think you were right." She says and now it's my turn to look confused. "I think I might make it through this."

"Of course you will Britt, you're strong and even if me and Quinn and Tina weren't here you'd make it through because you are an amazing person." I say lovingly, reaching over and taking one of her hand in mine.

"I don't know about that." She says doubtfully looking down at her fidgeting fingers in her lap.

"Well I do." I respond firmly lifting her chin so our eyes meet. "So what do you want to do now?"

"Can you hold me? It makes things easier." She asks shyly and I can see the hesitance in her gaze, as if she's afraid to ask.

"Of course I can, shuffle down and I'll spoon you." I respond moving down the bed and waiting for Brittany to follow.

When she does I wrap my arms around her loosely, still afraid to hold on too tight in case it freaks her out.

"We can just stay here for the rest of the day Britt, you don't need to worry." I reassure her, stroking her stomach gently.

"I love you Santana." She mumbles sleepily, shifting further back into my body.

"I love you too. Go to sleep." I encourage and she mumbles a thanks in response.

As I hold her I feel her start to relax in my grip and after ten minutes her breathing has evened out. She falls asleep in my arms and all I want to do is keep her there and protect her from the cruel world around us.

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**A/N: Wow I don't know where that came from, it's pretty rough cause I'm having a bad week, I guess I decided to drag you all down too :P So this chapter was very angsty and sad and I know we're all in need of fluff from Brittana fic's at the moment but I didn't want to just ignore the plot I started in the last chapter because canon is being rough on us right now. Bear with it though, they will get through it, it's a Brittana fic so you know they'll always get there happily ever after no matter what :P Also I am not nor have ever known a victim of sexual assault so I hope I did the victims justice in my portrayal. Thank you for reading and please leave a review, I love hearing what you think, also in the next chapter I'm going to hopefully introduce the therapist and any ideas for names are greatly appreciated, I suck at coming up with them :P**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Hello :) Thanks for all the follows, favorites and reviews I got on the last chapter, I appreciate every single one. I know, I know, I suck at updating at the moment. As an apology I tried to make this extra-long.**

**HikariKou: Yeah…**

**MandyJai13: I'm glad you still like the story despite all the angst :P There's a bit of fluff in here for you. Sorry it took so long.**

**LeighKelly: You're welcome and back at you :D**

**Thank you :) I'm happy you like the Emily/ Santana relationship there's more of it in this chapter :) Sorry it took so long.**

**slbsp-33: Thank you :D I'm glad it seems realistic :)**

**Rosetoast: Thanks, you're welcome :)**

**HannahWilliam33: Thank you :D Indeed poor Brittany, but hopefully she'll get better, we'll just have to wait and see… Sorry it took so long :/**

**Okay back to the story, sorry for any mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any other products or places mentioned in this story.**

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Santana's POV

An alarm going off beside me breaks me from my sleep and I quickly wake up and turn it off before turning to look beside me. What I find is a beautiful blonde sleeping with a small frown marring her gorgeous features. I reach out gently and run a finger over her forehead, trying to smooth out her frown lines but it seems the events of the week so far have cause them to be a semi-permanent feature on her delicate features

Brittany and Emily have been living with us for a week now and it's been difficult. Brittany's been so withdrawn and has skipped class all week and Emily is worried about her. Everything is just really tense at the moment and I'm trying my best to make everything better but I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm trying, I really am, but sometimes I just want to run. I know I'm a terrible person for thinking this and there's no way I'd ever leave Brittany, It's just that I'm one of the most emotionally unstable drama queens around, how am _I _supposed to help. Brittany decided to get help last week and even booked a therapy session when we woke up the next day but in the end she didn't go, she didn't want to talk to anyone about the attack and I didn't want to force her. She has one today but I really don't know if she'll actually turn up, I hope she does though. I know she wants to get help she's just struggling to actually get it.

When the blonde beside me mumbles in her sleep I'm disrupted from my musings. Turning away from her I stretch and quietly move to get out of bed. Over the past week I've developed a kind of routine. I get up and wake Emily and get her breakfast then if Tina's working she takes Emily into daycare with her and if not I take her in. Then I come home and spend the day looking after Brittany until I have to go to work or the day ends.

I grab a jumper off the chair as I walk out of the room and pull it on as I walk down the hall to Emily's temporary room. Once I get there I knock lightly before walking in. I don't expect Emily to be awake yet so when I walk in and find Emily sitting up on her bed alert and looking sad I'm surprised.

"Hey munchkin, you're up early." I say as I move over to the bed and sit down beside her. Instead of responding Emily just shrugs her shoulders and looks down at her hands fiddling in her lap. "You okay?" I ask worriedly, everything that's being going on has been confusing Emily and she doesn't understand why Brittany's sad all the time now.

"Did I do something bad?" Emily asks timidly looking up at me with tear filled eyes.

"Of course not, why do you think that you did?" I reply, lifting the little girl so she's sitting in my lap.

"Mommy's sad and she won't talk to me." Emily responds and I can tell the feelings that have been building up for the last few days are finally about to surface.

"You didn't do anything wrong, I promise. Mommy's just a bit sad at the moment but we're all trying to make her feel better. Hopefully she'll feel better soon." I say encouragingly trying to sooth the little girl's fears.

"Why is she sad?" Emily asks curiously, looking up at me expectantly.

"She remembered something bad that happened to her." I respond evasively.

"What bad thing happened?" Emily asks.

"You're too little to know that right now. You can ask your mommy when you're older though, I'm sure she'll tell you then." I respond trying to avoid talking to Emily about the real reason behind Brittany's sadness.

"I'm four soon, I'm not little." Emily protests strongly.

"Of course, little wasn't the right word. Tell you what, how about when you're ten you can ask your mommy and I promise she'll tell you." I bargain unsurely, I'm really not used to being in these types of situations.

"But that's forever away." Emily pouts in frustration.

"It's not that far away." I reply encouragingly.

"I want to know now." Emily says upsetly, starting to raise her voice.

"Honey, calm down." I say, attempting to seem authoritative.

"I want to know." Emily shouts clambering off my lap to stand on the bed next to me, glaring down at me.

I'm having troubling knowing how to handle Emily like this. I've only ever had to deal with the adorable side of her. Brittany always dealt with her when she was upset, I'd just stand to the side and help sometimes.

"Emily please calm down. I know you wanna help your mommy but I can't tell you." I say apologetically.

Tears of frustration and sadness start to fall from Emily's eyes and I see her collapse down onto the bed in defeat.

"I just wanna make her better. I miss my mommy." Emily sobs softly and it makes me feel like my heart was just ripped out and stabbed repeatedly.

"I know honey, she misses you too. She's going to get better though." I reassure her.

She looks up and her teary eyes meet mine. I just want to comfort her so I reach down and pick her up cradling her softly against my chest.

"Your mommy loves you more than anything Emily, and it might not seem like it right now but she does." I whisper soothingly as I gently rub the little girls back to try and calm her down.

After a few minutes her tears seemed to have stopped so I release my hold on her so I can look at her face.

"You feel any better now?" I ask softly.

"Uh huh." Emily replies quietly. "Thank you Tana, I love you."

My heart just about explodes when Emily says those three little words. She's never said that to me before. At first I was worried she never would considering how our first encounter went. But she did and I could not be any happier than I am right now, even with everything going on I can't not feel overjoyed right now.

"I love you too." I respond quietly, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice. I cough to try steady my voice before talking again. "Why don't you go to the kitchen and pick the cereal you want and I'll be through in a minute to help." I suggest.

"Okay." Emily responds and despite my reassurance she's still not quite back to her usual bubbly self.

Emily crawls put my lap and runs out the room and I run out after her heading to my room. Throwing the door open I run to the bed and jump on it, waking Brittany in the process.

"Santana what are you doing?" Brittany mumbles tiredly, turning away from where I'm bouncing on the bed.

"Britt, guess what just happened babe!" I say excitedly.

"You just woke me up." She murmurs crabbily.

"Well yeah, but guess what else." I continue, trying not to let Brittany grumpiness get me down.

Brittany mumbles something that I don't catch and turns to face me.

"Santana, no offence, but I don't really care. You know I have some stuff going on at the moment and you just woke me up from the first good night's sleep I've had all week. I'm sure whatever happened was interesting but I want to sleep so can you just tell me some other time." Brittany says exhaustedly and I deflate from her lack of interest, this is not the Brittany I'm used to.

"Oh... I'm sorry. Of course, I'll let you get back to sleep." I apologize disappointedly.

I scoot off the bed and away from Brittany, trying to hide how hurt I am. As I leave I try to keep reminding myself that Brittany is having a hard time and she doesn't mean to be so dismissive but it's not working and I can feel tears start to form in my eyes.

When I finally make it out of the room I close the door behind me quietly and lean back against it, closing my eyes and trying to calm down. I've found myself in this position so many times lately but never did I think I would be here because of something Brittany said to me. I was so excited, Emily told me she loves me, and Brittany took that away from me. And right now I want to be mad at her, I want to shout at her and make her apologize for stealing how happy I was. I have been so supportive of her lately and I've done everything I can for her and she just dismissed me. I want so much to be mad at her... but I can't. I can't get angry because that's not my Brittany in there, that's a scared and exhausted version of my beautiful blonde and I can't be mad at her because she has been through so much.

"Santana?" A voice calls, disturbing me from my thoughts.

I look up and see Quinn staring at me in concern.

"What's up?" I ask, quickly pulling myself together.

"Emily's hungry but she says she wants you to get her cereal for her." She says and I nod in acknowledgment and try and get away before she asks any more questions.

When I walk into the kitchen I spot see Emily sitting at the table with a spoon and bowl in front of her, obviously waiting for me. When she sees me she looks at me with a pout.

"You took ages." Emily whines adorably.

"I'm sorry honey, let's get you some breakfast." I apologize before I pour cereal and milk into her bowl for her.

"It's okay. Thank you." She responds as she starts eating her cereal.

"Morning San." Tina greets as she walks into the kitchen. She then walks up behind Emily and gives her a hug from behind. "Morning munchkin."

"Morning T." Emily says enthusiastically.

"You ready for daycare yet? We need to leave soon." Tina asks sitting down beside the little girl and sipping from a coffee mug I hadn't noticed before.

"I'm still eating cause Tana took ages to get me breakfast." She responds and Tina turns to me and gives me a mock appalled look.

"How could you do that to Emily Santana?" Tina says overdramatically, causing Emily to giggle at her silliness.

"I sorry. I'm a horrible person, I know." I play along equally as dramatically as Tina, enjoying watching the ever present look of happiness that has been missing from Emily lately return.

"You should be ashamed of yourself." Tina scolds playfully, hitting me on the arm.

Emily laughs again but this time she accidentally dribbles milk from her mouth and inhales some causing her to cough.

"What are you doing to this poor child?" Quinn scolds as she walks in and goes to rub Emily's back as she finishes coughing.

"Tina made me laugh." Emily says cutely, beaming up at Quinn with her milk covered face.

"I heard. You made a mess though. Go wash your face and get dressed then Tina will take you to daycare." Quinn instructs and Emily nods obediently and jumps down from her chair and runs out the room.

Once Emily's gone Quinn turns to face us with a dubious look.

"Tina, try not to kill the poor child." Quinn jokes.

Ever since Brittany's been out of action Quinn and Tina have developed certain roles for Emily when they're looking after her. Quinn is the stricter one and Tina is the fun one. They make an amazing team and watching them take care of Emily reminds me of how amazing parents they'll be one day. Not together though cause that'd just be weird.

"Santana made her laugh too. It's her fault too, give her into trouble." Tina complains childishly.

"You started it." I respond equally as childishly.

"You retorted." Tine replies.

I'm about to respond when Quinn's voice interrupts the two of ours bickering.

"Seriously guys, there is only one person in this house who should act like that and she's three." Quinn scolds exasperatedly.

"Three and three quarters." I correct quietly and Quinn gives me a look that screams 'really?'.

"Sorry Q." Tina apologizes.

"Yeah sorry Q." I mumble quietly.

"God, sometimes it feels like there are three children in this house." Quinn says jokingly.

"Really Quinn?" I say disbelievingly giving her my 'bitch please' look. "You're just as bad as we are."

"Yeah but not today, so I get to act like the adult right now." She says with a smirk and I just laugh at her ridiculousness.

"I'm dressed." Emily shouts as she comes barreling into the room.

"Good good, I love your dress it's really pretty." I compliment when I notice the little girls navy blue dress.

"Yeah, you look so grown up." Quinn adds smiling at the little girl.

"Thank you." Emily says as a slight blush appears on her cheeks.

"You're welcome. You ready to go?" I ask and Emily nods in confirmation.

"Come hug me goodbye." Quinn requests kneeling down and Emily runs over to her and wraps her arms around her neck. "Have a good day." Quinn says as she let's go of the small blonde.

Emily then runs over to me and I kneel down so I can hug her too.

"Have fun at daycare." I say while I squeeze Emily tightly.

"I will." Emily responds and then runs over to where Tina is standing with her hand out for her.

"Bye guys, see to later." Tina says as they start to leave.

"Bye T, bye Ems." I shout after them.

"Bye Tana, love you." Emily calls as they walk out the room.

"Love you too." I call after them with a face splitting grin on my face.

When I hear the door to the apartment door close signifying there departure I turn back to the kitchen to clean up the mess Emily made with the milk.

"When did that happen?" Quinn asks from beside me and I look over at her confused.

"What?" I ask.

"Emily saying 'I love you' to you." She clarifies, moving to sit down at the table.

"This morning." I reply as I continue to clean up.

"Is that why you looked so emotional outside your room?" Quinn asks and I stiffen in response when I think about why I was really emotional.

"No- yes, well kind of." I respond and Quinn motions her hand for me to elaborate. "It was what happened when I tried to tell Brittany about it." I explain.

"Was she mad that Emily said it?" Quinn asks curiously and I shake my head in response.

"She didn't even let me tell her. I was so excited that I jumped on the bed and woke her up and she got pissed. It's fine though, it's not a big deal." I say hiding my face from Quinn so she can't see how much it really hurt me.

"Okay..." Quinn draws out obviously suspecting something's off.

She's about to say more but before she can my phone goes off on the table. I run over and pick it up, glad for the interruption.

"Hello." I answer, silently thanking whoever's on the other end.

_"Hey Sanny, it's Jacks. I was wonderin' if ya'll could come into the bar this mornin'. I need to talk to you 'bout the singing job."_ Jackson replies.

"Sure, what times good?" I ask.

_"No time like the present, if that's good for you."_ Jackson suggests.

"Yeah sure that's fine. I'll be there in half an hour." I respond.

_"Great. See ya soon."_ He replies.

"See you, bye." I say before hanging up.

Turning around I spot Quinn looking at me expectantly.

"I have to go see Jackson." I say as I head to walk out the room.

"Right now? We need to talk Santana." Quinn says grabbing my arm to stop me leaving the room.

"Yeah now. Don't you have work anyway?" I ask shaking her hand off of my arm.

"No, I took the day off. Tina tried to as well but she had to work in the morning but her and Emily shouldn't be gone for too long." Quinn replies standing up so she's in front of me, effectively blocking my way out.

"Why?" I ask suspiciously.

"Because you've been looking after Britt all week and I thought you could use some help." Quinn replies as if it's the most obvious answer in the world.

"That's sweet but I'm doing fine on my own." I respond moving to the side to try and get round her but she moves with me.

"Really, cause you look exhausted to me." Quinn says with a raised eyebrow.

"Wow thanks Q, you're such a charmer." I reply sarcastically.

"San be serious, I know this is getting to you more than you're letting on. I thought you might want some help and someone to talk to." Quinn implores but I can't talk to her about this.

"Quinn I'm fine, can you watch Britt while I go to the bar." I ask moving to the side and stepping around her.

"Fine." Quinn says reluctantly. "But we are going to talk eventually."

"I'm looking forward to it." I reply cynically.

I head out the room and go to get dressed in my room. When I walk in I see that Brittany is sleeping so dress quickly and quietly and within ten minutes I'm headed out the door.

Brittany's POV

When I wake up the second time it's because someone has just shut the door to the apartment really loudly. I groan in annoyance and burrow my head into the pillow. Relaxing again I feel myself starting to fall asleep but I'm interrupted by a knocking at the door.

"What?" I huff exasperatedly.

Instead of answering the person opens the door and walks in. Quinn comes over to the bed and sits down looking me over and I feel like I'm being appraised and it's making me uncomfortable.

"What do you want Quinn?" I ask pulling myself up in bed so I'm leaning against the headboard.

"Do you realize what you did to Santana this morning?" She asks cryptically and I just stare at her blankly.

"No…" I respond unsurely.

"She was trying to tell you something and I don't know what you said exactly but you upset her." Quinn responds and I scrunch my face in confusion.

"She woke me up." I respond defensively.

"Well since you seem to always be sleeping at the moment that's not that surprising." Quinn says bluntly and I lift my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them defensively.

"I'm going through stuff, you know that." I respond cautiously, tucking my chin into my knees.

"I do and I'm sorry that you are, but Santana wanted to tell you something that meant a lot to her and you cut her down." Quinn says gently.

"I'm sorry." I whisper apologetically, looking down guiltily.

"You don't need to apologize to me, you need to apologize to Santana. She's doing everything for you and you aren't making any effort to do anything for yourself. She's so worried about upsetting you that she's mollycoddling you." Quinn says and I can tell Quinn's is giving me one of her famous tough love sessions.

"I'm trying." I defend weakly.

"Are you really? You didn't go to the therapy session you booked and I doubt you're going to go to the one today." Quinn says candidly.

"I am going to go." I protest sitting up a little straighter, I'm really not planning on going but Quinn won't be here so she'll never know.

"Good I'll take you then." Quinn replies standing up and walking over to the closet.

"Don't you have to go to work?" I ask hesitantly seeing holes starting to form in my plan.

"Nope, I took the day off. What do you want to wear?" She asks, rifling through my clothes.

"Oh… um… sweats and a t-shirt please." I respond tentatively.

"Okay." Quinn replies as she picks out some clothes and throws them onto the bed beside me.

"Get dressed, I'll wait outside and we can head to your appointment. It's at ten right?" Quinn asks and I nod tentatively.

When Quinn leaves I let out a sigh and collapse back onto the bed. I want to get help, I really do, but therapy seems so intense. I want to just hide with Santana and deal with this in my own way. I reluctantly get dressed and when I walk out my room I find Quinn standing in the hall with her hands on her hips waiting for me.

"You ready to go." Quinn asks and I nod hesitantly. "Okay then, let's go."

I follow Quinn out of the apartment and down to the garage getting into her car. The drive there only takes five minutes and when we get there Quinn hops out but I remain seated.

"You coming?" She asks, tapping her foot against the sidewalk impatiently.

"Uh… yeah, just give me a minute." I answer while trying to gear myself up to get out of the car.

"Come on Brittany. Your appointment's in five minutes." Quinn points out.

"I just need a minute." I say in annoyance.

I sit there for around five minutes trying to gather up the courage but as it reaches the appointment times I hear Quinn sigh from outside my door.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to do this." Quinn says disappointedly, walking over to the driver's side.

"Yes I can." I say angrily and grab the door and push it open, ignoring the fear that has built up in my stomach.

"Good lets go in then." Quinn says approvingly, walking in front of me into the building.

When we get in we're met with a large waiting room and Quinn heads over to the side of the room to sit down and I reluctantly follow after her. I avoid sitting next to her and instead choose a seat a bit further away and Quinn gives me an incredulous look.

"Really Brittany?" She says with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah Quinn." I respond shortly. "You were right okay, I don't want to be here and you being all bitchy and tough love isn't helping." I say angrily turning in my chair so I'm not facing her.

"It got you here didn't it?" She says casually.

"Well yeah but-" I start but she cuts me off.

"I know I'm being a bitch to you Britt but you need to be here. Not just for yourself but for Emily and Santana too. Heck even for me and Tina. You need help and I will be as big of a bitch as I need to be and make you hate me if it means you might get better." Quinn says bluntly and even though I can understand where she's coming from I'm still really pissed at her.

"Well mission accomplished, I do think you're a bitch." I respond shortly.

I can tell Quinn has another well aimed comment for me but before she can say anything someone comes out of the door at the side of the room.

"Brittany S. Pierce." The doctor calls and I hesitantly stand up and meet her eyes. "Nice to meet you Ms. Pierce, if you'll follow me." The doctor says and motions for me to walk into the room.

I head towards the room, sending Quinn one last look as I pass through the doorway. She just smiles at me encouragingly and I sigh resignedly and walk into the room, hearing the doctor close the door behind me.

"Okay Ms. Pierce if you'll take a seat." The doctor says motioning to the sofa at one side of the room.

"It's Brittany." I say as I sit down in the leather sofa in front of me.

"Okay Brittany." She says with an encouraging smile. "My name's Fiona Shaw. You can call me Fiona, or Dr. Shaw, whatever you're comfortable with."

"Okay." I respond, tucking my legs underneath me on the couch.

"So Brittany, what brings you here today?" Dr. Shaw asks curiously.

"I need therapy." I say resistantly.

"Well I guessed that much." Dr. Shaw says with a gentle smile. "I meant is there any specific reason you feel like you need therapy."

I just shrug my shoulders evasively, staring at my fidgeting hands in my lap.

"Brittany, you don't seem to want to be here and I have to say, if you're not willing to let me help you there's not going to be much I can do for you." Dr. Shaw says bluntly and I'm kind of shocked.

After a few minutes of thinking I finally look up and meet her eyes, I'm going to do this, I have to. I may not want to be here but now I am I'm going to make the most of it.

"I want to be here." I say more confidently holding the other woman's gaze.

"Okay then." She says with a nod and leans forward in her chair so she's closer to me. "So Brittany, why don't we start again? Why are you here today?" Dr. Shawl starts friendlily, smiling at me comfortingly.

I shift in my chair uncomfortably thinking about what to say before I answer.

"I just… I'm having trouble with some… stuff- at the moment. I've dealt with it before but it's happening again- well not again but I'm remembering the details for the first time. I think I need to talk to someone professional about it, that's why I'm here." I answer nervously, fiddling with my hands anxiously.

"Do you mind telling me what this stuff is?" she asks calmly and I brace myself knowing I have to answer.

"I was sexually assaulted four and a half years ago." I respond quietly, looking back down into my lap.

"Thank you for telling me." She says with a sympathetic smile. "Before we go into that in more detail I'd like to talk about you as a person. Who is Brittany Peirce, what is your life like?" Dr. Shawl asks.

"Okay... well I have a three and three quarter year old daughter called Emily. At the moment we're staying at my girlfriend's apartment with her and two friends, they've basically become my family since I moved to New York. I'm going to college at NYU for dance on a scholarship and that's pretty much it." I say thinking that was a good enough summary of my life.

Dr. Shaw writes some notes down when I'm finished and looks at me inquisitively before she starts to talk again.

"Can I ask if your daughter was a result of your attack?" Dr. Shaw asks and she looks almost apologetic for asking.

"Yeah." I answer quietly, looking back down into my lap.

"Okay. I'm guessing her father's not in the picture." She says and I solemnly nod my head in agreement.

"Do you have other people to help you take care of her?" She asks while scribbling more notes down in her notepad.

"My girlfriend and friends help me." I respond simply.

"Does your family help out too?" She asks.

"We're estranged." I respond vaguely, shifting back further into the sofa.

"Why?" She asks.

"Why does it matter?" I respond warily, my family is a topic I don't like to discuss.

"I know you probably don't want to talk to me about this but I'm just trying to understand what led you to where you are now." She says apologetically.

"My parent's and I became estranged after the attack." I say trying to open up.

"Why?" She asks again and I resist the urge to tell her to stop asking so may questions.

"They didn't want me to keep the baby and I did so they cut me off." I respond honestly.

"That must have hurt." She responds.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean I had been attacked and was pregnant, I'd just broken up with my long-term girlfriend and then my family went and cut me off. I felt kinda… alone." I say mumbling the last part.

"Understandable, it must have been a very daunting time for you. Can I ask if your relationship ended because of the attack?" She asks.

"Um… kind of, but I was the one who broke up with her. At the time I thought it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to drag her down, she had so much potential and I was a pregnant nineteen year old with no plans for the future." I respond solemnly.

"Did she know about your attack?" She asks.

"She didn't at the time but she knows now." I reply.

"So you kept in contact with her after your relationship ended?" She asks.

"No. We met again a few months ago and rekindled our relationship." I respond.

"So she's your current girlfriend?" She asks and I nod in agreement. "And she knows everything about your past?"

"She knows all the important stuff." I reply evasively.

"How is she dealing with everything?" She asks and now I'm getting confused, this therapy is for me, not Santana.

"She's good I think, something did happen this morning but it wasn't big." I respond.

"What happened?" She asks.

"She woke me up by jumping on the bed cause she wanted to tell me something and I told her I was tired and could she just tell me later. Quinn told me she seemed upset about it when she was talking to her." I reply.

"And Quinn is one of your friends you're living with?" She asks and I nod in response. "Do you know what she wanted to tell you?"

"No." I respond, and I feel slightly ashamed of myself. "But Quinn did say whatever it was it meant a lot to her."

"Okay." She responds and writes something else down in her book and I feel the need to defend myself.

"I'm not normally like that, I was just having an off morning." I say quickly leaning forward to try and see what she's writing.

"You don't need to defend yourself, I'm not here to judge you." She says comfortingly. "Would you say your behaviors changed recently then?" She asks and I withdrawal back into myself slightly when she suggestion that I've changed.

"No- well I mean maybe. I don't want to have changed though." I stutter defensively.

"I wasn't suggesting that you meant for the change to happen simply that one has. Is there any specific event that caused these changes?" She asks and I tense as I think back to why I'm currently in this situation.

"I- I had no memory of my… attack until last week until me and my girlfriend tried to… uh… be intimate for the first time since we got back together and I suddenly had flashbacks and I remembered it all." I mumble uncomfortably.

"So you had memory of the actual attack previous of that night?" She asks and I nod solemnly in response. "And that's when your behavior started to change?" She asks and I nod again. "What would you say these changes have been?"

"I guess I'm a bit more withdrawn. Quinn says that Santana's had to do everything for me lately." I add with a hint of bitterness.

"I don't want to know what Quinn thinks, I want to know what you think. Do you think you're relying a lot on Santana lately?" She asks.

"Well I mean, yeah. But I'm not forcing her to do it." I reason trying to make myself sound less selfish.

"I didn't think you were. My guess is that Santana's the kind of person who would take care of you even if you asked her no to." She says with a smile and I can't help but nod in agreement, that is totally what Santana would do. "Do you think there have been any other changes in your behavior?"

"Well I feel like I'm a lot more angry now, it's weird for me because I normally never get angry but now I just… it's just always there." I sigh dejectedly. "I feel scared a lot too, I don't really like leaving the apartment."

"That's a normal reaction for victims of sexual assault." She says comfortingly.

"But my 'assault' was years ago." I say frustratedly.

"It was but I think you've just had a delayed reaction to the trauma. It happens, the trauma of events can sometimes take weeks, months and even, like in your case, years to affect a person." She says reassuringly.

"I don't understand why it happened now though." I sigh sadly.

"From what I can gather it was triggered because you entered a sexual relationship again. That in no way means that the events were in any way similar, just the underlying activity." She says and I feel myself nodding in agreement mostly because I want to believe her instead of because I actually believe her. "Unfortunately we're out of time now, but I think it would be good for you to book another session."

"Yeah, I think it might." I respond. Despite me feeling awkward about how many questions she asked it felt good to talk to someone new.

"Good." She says with a nod and stands up and moves over to the door. "I'll see you soon then."

"Yeah, see you." I say as I head out the door and over to where Quinn is standing waiting for me.

"Hey Britt, how'd it go." Quinn asks smiling at me sweetly.

"It went well, but that doesn't mean I'm not still pissed at you." I respond walking out the door towards Quinn's car.

Quinn sighs exasperatedly and follows after me, opening the car and I climb in closing the door after me, turning away from her.

The car ride back to the apartment is silent and as soon as she pulls into park I jump out and make my way up to the apartment. I bypass the elevator and head straight for the stairs rushing up them trying to get back to the apartment as soon as possible. When I finally get to the door I push it open and rush in.

"Britt." I hear someone shout and then Santana comes rushing out from the living room.

When she spots me she rushes forward and wraps her arms tightly around me and I'm slightly confused.

"Where were you?" She asks worriedly when she finally pulls away.

"I was at my therapy session." I answer.

"Oh." She replies, looking slightly embarrassed.

"You knew I had one today." I point out.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just worried. I didn't know where you were and I freaked out. I was being stupid just ignore me." She says dismissively before she walks out of the room again, leaving me very confused.

"I told you it was getting to her more than she was letting on." Quinn says pointedly motioning in the direction Santana just walked off in.

"Can you not." I say exhaustedly giving her a warning look.

I walk in the direction that Santana just headed and I find her sitting on the end of our bed playing with her hands in her lap nervously. I walk into the room and she glances up at me before returning her eyes to her clasped hands.

"Hey San." I murmur sinking onto the bed beside her.

"Hey" She responds quietly.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask and she looks up and I meet her curious gaze.

"Sure." She responds attempting to smile.

"What did you want to tell me earlier?" I ask quietly trying to ignore the nerves fluttering in my stomach. I want to apologize for earlier and this seems like a good way to do it.

"Emily said 'I love you' to me." Santana replies eagerly. "I know it's silly but it meant a lot to me. I love her so much and it's nice to know she loves me too." She adds embarrassedly as a slight red tint appears on her cheeks.

In response I feel the first genuine smile I've had for a while spread across my face and I move closer to Santana and take her hand in mine.

"It's not silly, it's awesome babe. I'm really happy for you." I encourage, gently stroking the back of her hand with my thumb.

"Thanks." She replies shyly. "Anyway how'd your session go?" She asks changing the subject.

"It went well, it felt good to talk to someone. I was annoyed at first cause she kept asking questions but after a while I realized she was just doing it to try help." I reply.

"That's good, so you're going to do it again?" She asks curiously.

"Yeah, I think so." I respond sending her an encouraging smile.

"Good." She replies happily.

Leaning in I place a quick kiss on her lips and the smile I receive when I pull away makes all the stress of the day seem that little bit easier.

I hear a door slam open somewhere in the apartment and it's quickly followed by a loud 'Tana' being shouted out.

"I guess Emily's home." Santana chuckles. "Can I call her in here?" Santana asks and I nod in agreement. "In my room Ems." She shouts.

I hear footsteps headed quickly this way and Emily suddenly appears in the doorway. She stops running though when she spots me sitting next to Santana and looks between the two of us nervously.

"Hey baby, how was your morning?" I ask and she looks at me like I just asked what the meaning of life is.

Emily then looks over at Santana nervously and she gives her a reassuring smile. Emily turns back to me and walks further into the room so she's standing in front of me and I smile at her again trying to calm her down.

"It was good." Emily says quietly, glancing between me and Santana.

"Cool, what did you do?" I ask and Emily looks at me dubiously again.

"I… We colored." Emily replies, shifting nervously from foot to foot and I can't stand her being like this anymore.

"Awesome, I love coloring. You know what else I love?" I ask and Emily shakes her head hesitantly in response. "You. So why don't you get over here and give your mommy a hug." I request holding my arms out for Emily.

Emily doesn't waste a second and I barely have time to blink before I feel small arms wrap tightly around my neck. Wrapping my arms around her body I hold her close, savoring the moment. I look up and see Santana staring at us happily and I smile softly at her and remove one of my arms from Emily and hold it out to her.

"Come join in Tana." I invite and Santana responds immediately, moving so she has one arm wrapped around each of us. "I love you both so much and I promise I'm going to try and get better." I say genuinely as I look adoringly at the two most important people in my life, holding onto them as tightly as possible.

* * *

**A/N: There you have it :) Not my best work but it's an update. I've never been to therapy so I don't know what it's like, I hope I got the general feel ****of it though. I also hope you all now hate the word 'ask' as much as me, I feel like I used it 50 times in the therapy section, I'm sorry, it was painful for me too. Okay I'm not going to lie to you and say I'll definitely update soon as I have exams and am searching for a new flat at the moment so I really don't have much free time but I will be back so don't fear. Thanks for reading and please leave a review, I love hearing what you think.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hey everybody. Thank to everyone who followed, favourited and reviewed the last chapter, there all really appreciated. I'm really sorry this update took so long. I know a month is too long to not update and I have no excuse for the first few weeks except no motivation but I have been trapped with no internet connection for two weeks as my new flat doesn't have internet yet but I should have proper internet soon. I also wanted to shout out the guys who leave reviews on a lot of the chapters, I know my responses are usually pretty lame but I really do appreciate you guys, you're always there with kind words and your reviews always make me smile :)**

**MandyJai13: Thank you :D I'm glad you like their relationship :) Thank you, it was a struggle but I found one :P I'm sorry this took so long. **

**tinygleek: Thank you :D I'm glad you like the moment at the end, I thought I needed to add a bit of Brittana fluff :P **

**Arlenne0794: Thank you :D I'm happy you like Emily's character and her relationship with Santana. I'm sorry this took so long.**

**WildImagination28: Hey :) I'm glad you're enjoying the stories and character relationships :) Britt will get better eventually, don't worry. Here's more to read :P**

**Val: I'm sorry that happened to you, it's very reassuring to have someone who has experienced the events in my story telling me it's accurate as I've never been through it and I worry a lot that I'm not doing the victims justice. Your review meant a lot to me, thank you. It also gave me the kick I needed to get this chapter finished so thank you. I'll try to keep it up :)**

**So back to the story, any mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any other places or products mentioned in this story.**

* * *

Brittany's POV

This week has been going well so far. I've stopped hiding in my room all the time and I'm coping better on my own. Santana says I should be impressed by how well I'm doing but I don't really feel like I'm doing all that great. Having something to get better for helps me focus on getting there though. Realizing how much I had been neglecting Emily straight after my memories resurfaced made me kick myself into action. I've even been back to therapy. Dr. Shaw thinks I might be suffering from a form of delayed-onset post-traumatic stress disorder, I don't really understand what that means but she said she'd try to help me deal with it and I guess that's all that really matters. I'm feeling relatively good today, it's the first night I've not had nightmares since I remembered and I know it's not the last I've seen of them but it feels so good to have one nights good rest. Plus today I woke up before Santana and there's something soothing about watching her sleep, she seems so calm and content, that look seems to be sparse when she's been awake recently. I can't stop myself from reaching out and brushing some hair out of her face but when my hand makes contact with her skin her eyes flutter open and her brown orbs lock with mine.

"Mrng." Santana mumbles tiredly as she stirs beside me, rubbing her eyes lazily to adjust to the light.

"Morning." I respond, reaching over and finally brushing her wild bed hair off of her face.

"Tmm." She mutters a lazy smile spreading across her face.

"It's ten to eight." I respond with a chuckle, morning Santana is just too cute.

"Get Em." She grunts and starts to move to get out of bed but I place a hand on her arm to stop her.

"I'll go wake Em up today. You lie in for a bit."

She doesn't respond but the grateful smile on her face when she sinks back into the cushions on our bed tells me how much she appreciates me taking the morning routine today.

"Sweet dreams." I whisper as I place a kiss on her cheek.

I drag myself out of bed and head towards Emily's room. Quietly pushing the door open I glance in and see Emily asleep, face down spread eagled on the bed. Laughing quietly I walk in and sit down on the bed beside her, rubbing her back gently to wake her up.

"Baby, it's time for you to get up." I whisper quietly.

Emily grumbles unhappily in response and reluctantly turns over and opens her eyes.

"Don wanna." She murmurs.

"I know honey but you need to go to daycare." I say apologetically.

"No." Emily grumbles wrapping herself tighter in the covers.

"Baby come on. Don't make me drag you out." I warn playfully, reaching for the covers and giving them a gentle tug.

"Fine." Emily grumps, dramatically throwing the covers off and sitting up.

"Good. Lets' go get breakfast." I say standing up off the bed but before I can move away Emily holds her arms out to me and with a laugh I reach over and pick her up.

"Where's Tana?" Emily mumbles into my shoulder as I carry her to the kitchen.

"She's still sleeping." I respond, walking into the kitchen.

After placing Emily on one of the kitchen chairs I make my way over to the cabinets to grab us some cereal. When I place her breakfast in front of Emily she looks at me unimpressed. She lift's the spoon out of the bowl and then drops it and makes a disgusted face.

"Can I have Lucky Charms." She whines tiredly pouting at me. "This tastes icky."

"It's good for you baby, you used to eat it all the time," I remind her as I sit down beside her with my own bowl of cereal.

"Then I had Luck Charms with Tina, I only eat them now." Emily says with all the authority a three year old can muster.

"Well I'm not Tina, I'm your mom and I like Shredded Wheat cause it makes me strong and healthy, don't you want to grow up strong and healthy?" I ask slyly, sometimes you just have to say certain things to get your kids to do what you want.

"I want to be strong." Emily mumbles, looking at the bowl in front of her uncertainly.

"Then you should eat your cereal." I encourage her and when she picks up her spoon and starts eating I can't help but feel a little proud.

It always surprises me how much the little moments of victory actually meant to me as a parent. It's not like I did anything special but it's good to know that she actually does listen to me sometimes.

"Morning B, morning munchkin." Tina greets as she walks into the kitchen.

"Morning Tina. It seems that you've corrupted my child. She only wants lucky charms now." I scold teasingly giving Tina a playful glare.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Tina responds in mock innocence.

"Sure." I drawl out.

"I want Shredded Wheat too now, I wanna be strong." Emily chimes in cheerily, talking around a mouthful of cereal and dribbling some milk out onto her face.

"See I did nothing wrong." Tina says playfully earning a chuckle from me.

"I'll let you off this time. And baby, don't talk with your mouth full." I laugh, reaching over to wipe the milk off her face.

"I'm finished now though." Emily cheers happily, bouncing in her seat. "I'm gonna be strong." She adds flexing her nonexistent toddler biceps.

"You sure are baby." I encourage standing up and taking her bowl from in front of her and placing a kiss on her forehead. "Why don't you go get dressed? You and Tina need to leave soon."

"Okay." Emily agrees merrily, jumping off her seat and running out the room.

"Sorry about the Lucky Charms thing." Tina apologizes while pouring herself a cup of coffee and moving to sit down.

"It's okay, I was just kidding. She can have them occasionally, just not every morning." I say waving off her unnecessary apology. "It is a bit weird having other people take care of her though. It's not a bad thing, it's just it's always just been me, you know?"

"Yeah I guess that would take some adjusting. You'll always be her mom though, no matter how much me, Quinn and Santana help, we'll never change that." Tina says.

"Yeah I guess, though I'm pretty sure Santana's stolen her favorite person award from me." I say jokingly but I can't help but feel that there's some truth behind my statement and that makes me a bit sad.

"Santana's just someone new for her to love, she'll never replace you. I mean she could become someone on the same level as you, if that's something you want. But you're still her mom." Tina reassures me, seeing right through my joking tone.

"Thank you. And I do want Santana to mean something to her, if that's something they both want." I add smiling happily at the thought of us being a family like that.

"I'm ready." Emily shouts running into the room.

"Baby what happened to your jumper." I ask looking at the huge rip that's appeared in the sleeve of her cardigan.

"It ripped." She answers simply.

"You can't wear it like that, come give it to me." I request holding my hand out for her.

"I don't wanna." She wines wrapping her cardigan tighter around herself.

"Come on honey I'll fix it, I promise." I say gesturing for her to hand me the jumper.

"But Mrs. Hayworth made it for me." She pouts sadly.

"I know honey and I'm going to fix it, I'm not going to throw it out." I promise and Emily reluctantly takes off her cardigan and hands it to me. "Thanks."

"Who's Mrs. Hayworth?" Tina asks curiously.

"My old babysitter!" Emily says excitedly.

"Oh right, cool. Well we'd better leave now if we want to get to daycare on time." Tina points out, holding her hand out towards Emily.

"Wait! Come give me a kiss before you leave." I request and Emily runs over and places a sloppy kiss on my cheek before running over to Tina to take her hand.

"By Britt." Tina shouts as they walk out of the apartment.

"Bye." I respond.

* * *

I'm sitting in the living room fixing Emily's jumper when Quinn walks into the room, I'm a bit surprised as I thought she'd already left for work.

"Hey Britt." Quinn greets. "How you feeling today?"

"Fine." I answer shortly, not bothering to look up at her.

"Still not talking to me then." Quinn sighs, flopping down into the arm chair.

"I did talk, I said I was fine." I respond flatly.

"That's not what I meant and you know it Britt." Quinn says bluntly, though sometimes it seems that all Quinn ever is is blunt.

"No I don't." I reply still focusing on the ripped jumper in my hands.

"Don't play dumb Britt, you're better than that. I haven't mentioned anything about how you've been acting towards me yet because I figured you had the right to be angry at me but it's been over a week. I know I may have forced you to go to therapy but it was for your own good. I don't think you realize how much it's killing me to see to like this, I just want you to get better." Quinn says desperately.

"I can't just 'get better' Quinn. Therapy isn't an instant fix." I sigh sadly.

"I know, but therapy helped right?" She asks and I nod in response. "And I may have gone about it in a way you didn't like but I got you there right?" I hesitantly nod again. "Then why are you so mad at me? I was helping."

I drop the jumper in my hands down onto my lap and look up at Quinn. I take a large breath in preparing myself for what I'm about to say.

"I'm not mad at you Quinn I'm just… I just feel… I'm annoyed. You see, my life sometimes seems like an endless string of curve balls being thrown at me, trying to make me fail but I can control how I handle them, how I deal with them. How I decide to handle them is how I cope, the decisions may not always be for the best but still I choose it, it's on me. That choice means I have control. When you forced me into going to therapy you took away my control, you made me feel powerless. I don't feel like that anymore but it's still never a way I should have felt in the first place. You sometimes forget how good you are at manipulating people Quinn, I don't even think you realize you're doing it but you really can't do that again. I need to have control over the decisions in my life, you can encourage me to choose a certain thing but do not manipulate me." I say firmly locking my eyes with hers

"I… I didn't realize. I'm sorry. I just- I just wanted to help." Quinn replies apologetically, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"I know and you did help in a way but from now on can you just be my friend. I don't need an enforcer or someone to tell me what to do, I need Quinn. You're one of my best friends and I love you and I don't want to be annoyed at you but when you push me like that I can't help it." I say sadly.

"I love you too Britt and I am just being Quinn, being pushy is part of me. I'll try reining it in though, okay?" She compromises.

"Yeah that'd be good." I respond gratefully.

There's an awkward moment of silence where neither of us is really sure what to do now. Suddenly Quinn coughs and shifts her feet uneasily.

"Well… I'm running late for work so I better go, have a good day." Quinn says as she heads out of the room.

"You too." I shout after her, returning to my attempt at fixing Emily's jumper.

* * *

I'm just about finished fixing Emily's jumper when I feel a set of arms wrap around my shoulders loosely from behind and a kiss is placed on my cheek. I jump at the unexpected presence and I can feel myself start to panic but when I recognize Santana as the person behind me I begin to calm again, attempting to hide that I ever panicked.

"Morning beautiful." Santana says warmly, moving around to the front of the couch, sitting down and gently cuddling into my side.

"Morning." I reply, placing a kiss on her forehead before she huddles closer into my side. "You're cuddly today." I chuckle squeezing my arms around Santana.

"Uh huh, that cause I'm happy." She replies.

"For any particular reason?" I ask.

"You seem happier today and that makes me happy." She responds.

"I am happier, things feel like they're finally getting back on track." I say.

Santana hums in reply, sighing contentedly as she sits wrapped up in my arms. We just sit there in silence relaxing together, staring off into space and after a while I see Santana lift her head from the corner of my eyes. I think she's going to say something so I keep quiet but after a few minutes of her just staring at me I start to get a bit curious.

"San you're staring, is something wrong?" I ask enquiringly looking over to where Santana is standing by the table.

She blinks before looking away, a blush spreading across her cheeks and then turns to face me again.

"Come out for lunch with me?" Santana asks hopefully a nervous smile covering her face.

"Oh…" I stutter nervously. "I'm not sure, can we not just make something here?"

"Can we go out? I was thinking it could be a date, I mean we've only been on like one proper date and we've been official for over a month so really we need to go on another one." She pleads giving me puppy dog eyes with her gorgeous brown orbs.

"You're right but still I don't know… it's just really… busy out there" I respond unsurely.

"We'll go somewhere quiet and it'll be fun, I promise." She pleads and I can see how much she wants me to do this.

"I just… um… I can't." I stutter nervously looking down at my feet dejectedly.

I hear Santana sigh sadly and when I look up I can see she's upset but when she meets my eyes she shakes her head and puts on a smile.

"It's fine." She responds understandingly. "I still have to go out later for work though." She says moving away from me towards the kitchen.

"That okay." I respond watching her go warily, she seemed like she was trying to hide how upset she was but I don't want to pry.

* * *

The rest of the day passed quickly and there a kind of anticipation going on and I don't know why. The minute Tina and Quinn got home Santana pulled them away into out room and they huddled in there for about an hour. I didn't mind really, it gave me time to be with Emily but I can't help but be a little suspicious of them. They're obviously up to something. They even pulled Emily away for a bit to talk to her. Even at dinner I felt like they were hiding something. I really want to ask what's going on but I'm kind of scared to.

"Britt?" I hear Santana shout.

"I'm in the bedroom." I respond putting the book I was reading Emily down as Santana walks in grinning at the two of us.

"There are my girls. I'm headed to work and I wanted to say bye." She says moving over to the bed and leaning to place a peck on my lips.

"Okay, be careful." I respond pecking her lips again.

"I will. Bye Ems." She says and leans down and blows a raspberry on Emily's cheek making the little girl burst out into giggles. "Don't forget." Santana whispers to Emily and I want to ask what she's not to forget but I have a feeling I wasn't supposed to hear that.

"I won't." Emily whispers back, these two really need to work on their whispering skills, I can hear everything they're saying.

"Love you." Santana says as she walks out the room backwards, blowing us a kiss.

"Love you too." Emily and I respond giggling as she catches her foot on the doorframe and stumbles out of the room.

"You gonna tell me what you two were whispering about?" I ask grinning down at Emily.

"Nope." She giggles, snuggling into my side.

"Oh really? Cause I have my ways, I can make you talk." I warn playfully, prodding her in the stomach.

"Never!" She exclaims burying her head into my chest, giggling like crazy.

"I'll let you off this time." I chuckle stroking my hand through her hair. "You wanna read some more." I ask and she nods her head picking up the book and holding it out for me.

* * *

I was just getting to the end of Emily's book when I noticed her start to glance at the clock beside us. I didn't think much of it at first because she can't really tell time that well but after she glanced at it for the eighth time I started to get a little suspicious. When the clock hit eight she suddenly jumped up on the bed and squealed causing me to jump in surprise.

"Emily what are you doing?" I ask in shock, holding my hand over my rapidly beating heart.

"Follow me." She shouts jumping off the bed and running out the room.

I stare after her in astonishment, completely confused as to what is going on. Deciding I should probably follow her I stand up and head into the living room. When I get there I find Emily and Tina sitting on the couch with Tina's laptop perched on their laps. I look at them questioningly but instead of telling me what's going on Tina just pats the seat in between them and Emily hops up and down excitedly. I hesitantly walk over and sit down and Tina places the laptop in my lap and presses a button that makes a video chat on Skype come up. I glance at the screen and notice that it's focused on a little stage in an upscale bar and I am really confused as to why I'm watching this right now. I go to open my mouth to ask what the hell is going on when I see a familiar figure walk out onto the stage.

"_Hi my names Santana."_ Santana introduces herself giving the crowd a small wave and she gets a couple of wolf whistles in return. "_So this is my first time singing here, I hope you all enjoy and I don't ruin your evening._" She chuckles nervously. "_This is for Britt. I hope you're watching._" She adds sending a wink in my direction.

Santana nods to the pianist beside her and he starts playing notes on the piano. I recognize the tune and a massive grin breaks out across my face as she begins singing the lyrics.

"_For you, there'll be no more crying._

_For you the sun will be shining."_

"She's so good." Emily whispers in awe beside me and I can't help but nods me head emphatically in agreement.

"This is amazing. I don't understand though, why's she singing there?" I ask confusedly.

"She got a job singing at Jackson's bar 'The Lounge'. She was going to show you the bar earlier so she could give you a private performance before thing got busy but since you couldn't make it we figured this was a good compromise. Quinn's there with her laptop streaming it to us." Tina informs me and my smile falters slightly, this is why she wanted to go out for lunch.

"That's amazing! Why didn't she tell me she got a singing job though?" I ask curiously.

"She wanted to surprise you." Tina responds simply.

I nod in agreement, and turn back to the screen, not wanting to miss anymore of the performance. As Santana sings I feel myself get drawn into it and everything around me starts to fade as I listen to her voice. It's so beautiful, the crowd there tonight is so lucky to get to hear her live. I've missed just listening to her sing, there were so few occasions when she got to do it by herself in front of an audience, showing off her talent, but every time she did it was magical.

The song starts to draw to a close and as the last notes start to wring out on the piano Santana turns to where the computer must be and blows me a kiss and I just about melt on spot.

The crowd cheers when she finishes and I hear Emily clapping along with them and Santana does a little bow, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

"_So that was a bit of a sad start but don't worry guys, I have plenty more upbeat songs for you."_ Santana says to the crowd gesturing for the pianist to start again and her dives into an upbeat rhythm.

* * *

We've been sitting watching Santana sing for about two hours now and Emily passes out about half an hour ago with her head in my lap. Tina and I are still watching but my mind has begun to wander as I listen.

I can't believe I'm not there. I should be there. I keep ignoring things that are important to her because of my own problems and it's making me so frustrated. She's my girlfriend and I wouldn't even leave the house to be there for her. I suck, plain and simple. She should just dump me and move on, I've been a really crappy girlfriend lately so I wouldn't even be surprised. She is putting up with so much and I feel useless, I'm doing nothing for her in return. I know I have stuff going on right now but it seems to be eclipsing our entire relationship right now and she is taking a back seat to my baggage and that's just not right. I want to give her everything and I can't right now and it makes me so angry and upset.

As these thought run through my mind I feel my eyes start to tear up and I look down so my hair covers my face so Tina won't notice as tears start to run down my face. Unfortunately I let out a quiet sob and that draws Tina's attention to me.

"Are you crying Britt?" Tina asks unsurely, leaning over to brush some of the hair hiding my face away. "Oh honey, what's wrong?" She sooths, shifting Emily from my lap so she can wrap her arms around me.

"I should be there." I whisper pathetically.

"Huh?" Tina asks, running her hand over my back comfortingly.

"I should be there, she wanted me to be there and I said no. I know how big of a deal this must be for her and I couldn't even leave the house to be there." I cry, burying my face into the crook of Tina's neck.

"Honey you didn't know she was going to be singing, she didn't tell you." Tina comforts me.

"I know that. She wanted it to be a surprise though. She probably didn't' tell me so I didn't feel pressured to go. I could see much she wanted me there and I still said no." I blubber into Tina's shoulder.

"Honey don't do this to yourself. Santana isn't mad at you so you shouldn't be mad at yourself. Everyone understands that things are hard for you at the moment." Tina reassures.

"I don't want people to have to understand! I want to be me again." I cry out in frustration pushing away from Tina. "I want to be able to go out without panicking about nothing! I don't even know why I'm scared, I know nothing is going to happen to me."

"Britt, I know it's frustrating but things will get better." Tina comforts me.

"You don't know that." I shout in annoyance.

"Mommy?" Emily mumbles sleepily and I look beside me and notice she's woken up. "Are you okay?" She asks curiously.

I take a deep breath and compose myself, wiping the tears from my face and plastering a fake smile on my face.

"I'm fine baby. I just got a bit worked up." I say apologetically.

"You were shouting at Tina." Emily says confusedly.

"Sorry baby." I apologize but Emily just continues to looks at me with furrowed brow.

"You were shouting at Tina. You should say sorry to Tina." Emily says firmly.

"Okay, I'm sorry Tina." I say looking over at Tina.

"It's fine, but we need to talk about this more Britt. Or talk to Santana." She responds determinedly.

"I will." I say exhaustedly. "Can we go back to watching Santana now?"

"Sure." Tina responds sending me a comforting smile and we all sink back into the couch to watch the rest of Santana's set.

* * *

Santana gets home at eleven after she's finished and I run over to her and pull her into a hug telling her how amazing she was, because she really was. She of course just blushes and shrugs of my compliments. She goes to have a shower and I head into the living room to veg out in front of the television until she gets out. I've been watching t.v. for about ten minutes when I hear a phone ringing. After searching for a while I find Santana's phone going off in her bag and head towards the bathroom to give it to her.

"San!" I shout over the noise of the shower.

"What's up?" She responds, poking her soapy head out from behind the curtain.

"Your phone's ringing." I reply holding the phone out to her.

"Who is it?" She asks.

"Unknown number." I answer.

"Can you get it I'm all wet and soapy right now. It's probably just a sales call." She asks.

"Fine." I agree reluctantly, I don't like answering other peoples' phones.

I walk out of the room and press the accept call button bringing the phone to my ear.

"Hello, Santana Lopez's phone." I answer unsurely.

"_Hello? Who is this?" _A very recognizable voice asks from the other end. I freeze up, I want to go throw the phone at Santana so I don't have to respond but she's still in the shower so I don't have much choice but to respond.

"Hi Mrs. Lopez, it's Brittany Pierce. Santana's in the shower right now but if it's something urgent I'm sure I can get her for you." I respond with faux confidence.

"_Brittany Pierce? As in Santana's ex-girlfriend Brittany Pierce?" _Mrs. Lopez asks and I can hear the disapproval dripping from her words.

"Yep that's me." I respond with an awkward chuckle. "So do you need Santana right now?"

"_I've been trying to get in contact with her all evening, I just wanted to tell her that I lost my phone so have a new number but now I have much more pressing questions for my daughter._" She responds disapprovingly.

"You know I think I just heard her get out. I'll just get her for you." I ramble as I run off towards the bathroom.

When I get there I run over to the shower and rip the curtain open sticking the phone out in front of me. Only then do I realize that I am now faced with a very naked, very wet Santana standing in front of me. Her body really hasn't changed with age, if anything it got better and it really is very distracting since I should be listening to her but all I can do is stare. It feels kind of weird, how I'm reacting to seeing her naked, especially since the last time we tried to be intimate it did not end well. It's kind of reassuring though, knowing that I still physically want Santana. Though it is frustrating knowing I'll not be able to act on those feelings at the moment.

"Britt! What are you doing?" Santana squeals in shock.

"Mother." I mumble out lamely as I continue to stare at her, great I just know I look like an idiot right now.

She looks at me confusedly before she glances at the phone and a look of realization takes over her features. She steps out from the shower and grabs a towel wrapping it around herself before taking the phone from me and walking out of the bathroom.

I shake myself out of my state of awe pushing away the embarrassment I feel over staring dumbly at Santana and quickly follow after Santana, pausing as she enters the bedroom. Sneaking up to the door I peer through and see her sitting on the bed holding the phone to her ear. I know I shouldn't be listening in but I have a feeling there going to be talking about me and I want to hear what Mrs. Lopez has to say.

Santana's POV

"Hola mami." I greet.

"_Was that really Brittany Pierce?_"My mother responds, skipping right over greetings and going for the important stuff.

"…Yes." I respond hesitantly, I know this is not going to be a fun conversation.

"_When did you start talking to __**her**__ again_?" My mother asks putting a disapproving inflection on the word her, this is not a good start.

"About three months ago." I respond.

"_Why is she answering your phone? Why is she in your home?_" She asks incredulously.

"She's staying here." I respond quietly.

"_Did that man dump her and she came crawling back to you._" She says bitterly.

"No mami-" I start but my mom cuts me off before I can continue.

"_So she's still with him?_" She asks dubiously.

"No the-" I say but I'm once again cut off.

"So she did come crawling back!" She exclaims.

"For God's sake mami, let me speak!" I sigh exasperatedly. "There was never a guy."

"_What? I don't understand. She left you for a man. You called me and cried on the phone for hours about how she said she wanted a man more than you. There must have been a man!"_ She says dumbfoundedly.

"Thanks for reminding me Mami," I drawl sarcastically "but there was no man."

"_Why did she say there was then?"_ She says and I can hear the anger in her voice being replaced by utter confusion.

"It's complicated." I respond vaguely.

"_That is not an answer Santana. Why did she say there was a man?"_ She repeats sternly.

"Can you stop with the questions? I'll explain it all to you, I promise, just not right now." I sigh in frustration.

"_Fine. But I have to ask you, are you together again?"_ She asks and I feel myself tensing at the question.

I don't know why I'm scared to tell my mom we're a couple. I mean my mom loved Brittany when we we're together the first time. I guess I'm scared because my mother may love people unconditionally and have a huge heart but if you hurt someone she loves, you might as well be dead to her. She is very protective and does not forgive easily. When my Abuela threw me out my Mother suddenly started acting as if she had never existed. They had been close but when Abuela hurt someone she loved she was gone, no matter how close they were. I could see how it hurt my father to lose his mother but she would not accept that kind of homophobia, even from family. She's loyal to a fault. And if that's how she acts with family, how will she treat Brittany? I guess I just want to protect Brittany, I love my mom but I will not let her say anything harsh to Brittany, not if I can help it. There is no point in hiding our relationship from her anymore though.

"Yes, we're together." I respond speaking with confidence I don't actually have.

"_Okay… well, you'll bring her home for Christmas then."_ She says and my mouth drops open in shock.

"What?" I ask stunned.

"_You're bringing her home for Christmas. I know for a fact that Quinn and Tina are coming home on the 18__th__ so I expect you to be here then as well."_ My mother demands.

"Mami, I really don't think that's a good idea. I have a job, I can't just up and take a holiday." I protest.

"_Jackson loves you, he'll be fine with it. So you're going to get time off work and come home for Christmas and Brittany coming with you. She can stay with her parents." _My mother says forcefully and I have a feeling that I'm not going to get out of this.

"She can't stay with her parents." I respond quietly.

"_Why not?"_ She asks curiously.

"They don't really talk anymore." I say sadly.

"_Fine. I guess she can stay here if she has to."_ She compromises and I can hear the reluctance in her voice at the thought of being around Brittany for the entire holidays and it's making me angry.

"Why do you want her to come? You obviously don't want her to stay in your home but you're demanding she's there. If you're making me bring her just so you can chew her out for the past I'm not bringing her. I love her and she's been through enough pain in her life, I'm not going to let you put her through any more. She may have acted badly when we broke up but she had her reasons and we have worked through that together, it's not a reason for you to go after her anymore. And if we do come and you hurt her I swear I will retaliate, I don't care that you're my mother, she is my girlfriend and I will not tolerate any hostility towards her." I warn her and my rant is followed by silence on the other end.

"_You really do love her don't you?"_ My mother responds quietly.

"More than anything." I reply honestly and brace myself for the next part of this conversation. "There's something else I should probably tell you. Britt has a three year old daughter Emily, and if she agrees to coming for Christmas she'll be coming with us."

"_What? She has a daughter!"_ My mom shouts in shock. _"How? When? She has a daughter?"_

"Yes, I told you the past is pretty complicated but all that matters is that I'm happy with both of them now." I assure her.

"_Okay… well I guess I'll make the guest room up for her."_ She says and she still sounds in a state of shock.

"Don't get your hopes up, I still need to ask Britt and try to get time off work. It's getting late though, I should go now." I respond.

"_Alright. Goodnight mija, love you."_ My mom says.

"Night mami, love you too." I respond and hang the phone up.

I sigh exasperatedly, that didn't go quite as I planned but I guess it could have been worse. I glance up and blonde hair sticking out from behind the door catches my attention. The person shifts when I look in their direction and I guess Brittany's been hiding there and listening in.

"How long have you been listening?" I ask and Brittany steps out from behind the door with a sheepish look on her face.

"Since I handed you the phone." She mumbles embarrassedly looking down at her hands that are intertwined in front of her.

"So what do you think?" I ask hesitantly.

"About going to your parents for Christmas?" She asks and I nod in response. "Do you want to go?" She says moving towards me and sitting next to me on the bed.

"I don't mind, it's up to you." I respond nonchalantly.

"You do mind, do you want to go?" She asks again looking at me piercingly.

"Well yeah, I mean it would be nice to see my parents." I answer nervously, fiddling with my hands in my lap. "But I don't want to go if you're not comfortable with it." I add quickly. "You didn't want to leave the house this afternoon though, this'll be going to a whole different state with traveling involved. I just want you to be comfortable with it."

"If you want to go then we'll go. It'll probably be good for me anyway, confronting old memories and all that. Plus I got a text from a friend in Greenville asking when I'd next be in town so we could meet up and it'd be good to see her." She responds with a smile but I can see the fear hidden behind her mask of happiness.

"Britt, we really don't have to go. You only just started to get better, this is a lot for you to take on so soon." I respond taking one of her hands into my own and running a thumb over the back of her hand soothingly.

"I think I can handle it. I mean, if you'd asked me this morning I would have said no but today… today I missed out on seeing you singing live for the first time in years. You looked so in your element in front of that crowd and I was so proud. I know me being there was a big deal for you and I missed it because I was scared and I also know you'll not complain because that's just who you are. I was so mad at myself earlier for not going and I don't want to feel like that again, I don't want to miss out on life because I'm afraid. I can't let fear control me so I'm choosing not to let it. I think I need to take the risk, it might not end well and I might freak out a bit at times but you'll be there and Emily will be there and I think I can handle it." Brittany responds.

"You're throwing yourself in at the deep end here Britt. Are you sure you're okay going?" I ask just so I can make sure.

"Yes, I want to go." She says, nodding her head with more confidence than she's had in a while.

"Okay then, I guess we're going to Lima for Christmas." I say with a cautious smile.

* * *

**A/N: And there you have it. I know some bits of this are a bit rushed and there's a lot crammed in there and there are a lot of time jumps but that's because I've had certain parts written for ages and I wanted to finish this chapter today so I hurried to flesh out the rest. I know the quality of my work is slipping but I'm trying to get better, I'm just really struggling to write at the moment. If you don't know the song Santana sings in this chapter I question your Brittana shippingness :P Also I kinda took liberties with Mama Lopez's, really I'm just developing her character since we didn't really get that much about her in the show. Also this story's so close to one hundred favourites, can make it there in time for the next chapter? Only time will tell :P As always thanks for reading and please leave a review, I love hearing what you guys think.**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Hiya :) Thanks to everyone who followed, favorited, reviewed and PM'd me since the last chapter, they're all appreciated. We reached 100 favorites, woo! Never did I think my writing would even get read so a huge thanks to everyone who has favorited this story. Also to any Skins watchers, hey at least Brittana are still alive. Though we technically didn't see her die so I'm choosing to believe that she made a miraculous recovery and they're living happily ever after. But really I'm so done with all TV writers trying to fuck over all the lesbian characters. Rant over**

**Arlenne0794: Thank you :) Yeah, Mama Lopez ended up coming across a bit more harsh than I had intended, hopefully I can redeem her. Brittany did too :P Here's your update :)**

**Blue: Thank you :) I'm glad you liked the chapter.**

**Hi: Thank you :) I hope you like how the visit to Lima plays out. Thanks for reviewing.**

**"Great chapter, I...": Thank you :) That is a very good question, I totally forgot to include that in the last chapter but it's in this one.**

**tinygleek: Thank you :) I'm happy you liked the chapter and I hope you like the visit to the Lopez's.**

**Peanut: All I can say is thank you :)**

**devilgrrl182: Thank you :) Here's your update.**

**AlabamaMiles: Thank you :) Hope this chapter meets your expectations. I'll try.**

**"This story is so freakin'…" Thank you :) I found the time :P**

**"The story is really interesting…" I'm glad you're finding the story interesting and I can see where you're coming from in relation to chapter 3 and before but I have received this comment before so have tried to fix it and try to use it a lot less in chapters now. If you read on and find it's still an issue shoot me another review and I'll try to reign in the use of it. Thanks for reviewing :)**

**Back to the story, any mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the other products or places mentioned on this story.**

* * *

Brittany's POV

As I sit looking at the packed suitcases on our bed I can feel the panic swirl inside me. It's suddenly become so real, I'm going to Lima. This place has so many memories, both good and bad. This is where Santana's parents are. Where my parents are, at least where I think they are. This is the place where my attack happened. So much happened to me in Lima and I agreed to go there and confront it all at the same time. Maybe it wasn't the best idea. I said I'd go back to Lima though, I promised Santana. I know she'd cancel the trip in a heartbeat for me but I don't want her too. She wants to see her parents and I need to do this, for me. I need to... face my daemons? I can't really explain what's compelling me to do this but I'm just going to go with it and ignore the multiple panic attacks threatening to consume me.

"You okay Britt?" Santana asks and I look up and find her standing beside me, when did she get there?

"I'm fine." I respond with a fake smile, trying to bury my anxiety.

"You sure?" Santana asks, concern lacing her voice. I'm obviously not hiding my nerves very well.

"…no." I sigh exhaustedly, there's no point in lying to her. "I'm nervous and scared but that's not going to stop me going so don't even bother offering to cancel the trip again. You and Em are so excited and I'm not going to ruin that." I add quickly.

"Britt, I'll get over not going. I won't get over guilt tripping you into doing something you don't want to." Santana responds with a serious expression.

"I want to do this." I say forcefully. "You aren't making me, I promise."

"If you're sure." She responds skeptically.

"I am." I reply.

"Okay. And I promise if my mom is rude I'll tell her off." Santana reassures me.

"It's fine, I'll turn on the old Pierce charm and she'll be putty in my hands. I mean it worked when we were kids." I joke nervously.

"Good plan, I'm pretty sure she always liked you better anyway." Santana chuckles, then reaches down and pulls me off the bed so I'm facing her.

"Of course she did, I'm amazing." I joke resting my hands on her hips.

"That you are." Santana murmurs in agreement wrapping her arms around my neck. "And if that doesn't work we'll just set Emily on her. No one can resist her, she's too cute." Santana laughs.

"So you're going to exploit my child for your own happiness, are you?" I kid raising an eyebrow at Santana.

"It's for all of our happiness and it's her fault for being so adorable." Santana says with a shrug.

"I did produce a pretty cute kid." I chuckle.

"You did. Though it's no surprise, you're an awesome mom." Santana says honestly.

I smile sweetly at her and lean forward, joining our lips and whispering a soft thank you.

"You always know how to calm me down." I murmur gratefully as I lean our foreheads together.

"It's a gift." She replies pecking me on the lips before pulling away. "I'm going to check if the others are ready then we can head off, okay?"

"Okay." I reply with a nod.

After Santana leaves I sink back onto the bed behind me and pick up the bag beside me. I nervously play with the zip for a bit before opening it and double checking we have everything.

"Mommy?" Emily calls from the door and I look up and see her standing in the doorway with a worried expression.

"Hey baby, what's up?" I ask, plastering a cheerful smile on my face.

"You looked sad, are you sad?" Emily asks and walks over to stand in front of me.

"I'm not sad. I was just thinking." I respond reaching and pulling her up onto my lap.

"What were you thinking?" Emily asks curiously.

"About Mr. and Mrs. Lopez. I've not seen them in ages and I'm just a little worried that they might not like me anymore." I reply honestly.

"Of course they'll like you, you're the best." Emily says with an adorable grin.

"Thank you, that's just what I needed to hear." I respond and place a kiss on her forehead.

"Tana told me to come help you get the bags cause we need to go." Emily says as she jumps off my lap and grabs the smallest bag of the bed.

"Alright then, let's get this show on the road." I say and grab a bag and carry it out to the hall.

* * *

Once we'd struggled to get all the bags into our massive seven person taxi the ride to the Airport was easy enough and we got unloaded and checked in without a problem. Though due to Quinn's insistence on making sure we had enough time for "just in cases" we got to the airport departure lounge with an hour to waste before our flight.

Right now Emily and Tina are entertaining themselves with a game of cards while Quinn searches the duty free. Santana and I are sitting in silence off to the side. At one point we were talking to each other but the conversation dwindled out and now we're just sitting here saying nothing. It's not one of those calm silences though, it's a silence where I know Santana wants to say something but is afraid of the consequences. Maybe if I prompt her she'll tell me what's wrong.

"Say it." I state calmly looking over at her.

"Say what?" She replies, a confused look covering her features.

"Whatever's on your mind." I reply with a reassuring smile.

She breaths in looking like she's preparing herself to protest but instead she lets out a long breath and locks eyes with me.

"I want to tell my parents about what happened to you." She states nervously.

"Oh. That's fine, I kinda thought we'd have to anyway." I respond with a shrug.

"No. I mean... I want to tell them. I know it happened to you and it's your business but I don't want a repeat of Mercedes. I want you to be comfortable around my parents and have a good holiday and rehashing a traumatizing event just to ease my parent's curiosity doesn't really fit with that plan. And you're still dealing with your memories resurfacing and I don't want to put you under any more pressure. And I know this seems like I'm trying to mollycoddle you and I guess I kind of am but really I just want to protect you. I mean my mom can be a bitch when she wants and I don't want you to have to deal with that. Unless you want to, I guess I shouldn't take this choice away from you. Please stop me talking." Santana rambles nervously.

There's a moment of silence while I process everything she just said and she stares at me, anxiously waiting for a reply.

"Oh... right. Well, I guess that could be okay. I don't mind talking to them though. I mean, it's not going to be fun, but I could do it. How about we play it by ear?" I suggest.

"Okay." Santana replies letting out a relieved breath.

"You're cute when you nervous." I joke bumping Santana's shoulder playfully in an effort to lighten the mood.

"I'm not cute, I'm badass." Santana replies with a frown.

"You know that cute frown isn't helping prove your point." I tease and Santana wipes the frown off her face.

"I'm not cute, and anyway I'm not nervous." Santana defends.

"You were but its okay, it was cute." I laugh watching as a pout appears on her face.

"Sometimes I forget Santana has a heart, and then I see moments like this." I hear Quinn tease and I turn to find her standing behind us. "Cute pout Sanny." Quinn mocks playfully.

"Shut it Fabgay." Santana retorts grumpily.

"Once again S, I don't do women." Quinn says with a smirk.

"Are they fighting again?" Tina asks as she and Emily make their way over to us.

"We're not fighting." Quinn and Santana respond at the same time.

"Sure." Tina laughs.

"Why are they fighting?" Emily asks as she crawls into my lap.

"We weren't fighting." Santana defends, leaning over and poking Emily in the stomach.

"Tana!" Emily squeals swatting Santana's hand away.

"What?" Santana ask in faux innocence.

"When you're done being sickly sweet our flight just got called." Quinn tells us pointing to the screen that is now telling us to board.

"Finally." Santana sighs standing up and reaching for my hand.

"Walk or carry?" I ask Emily.

"Carry!" Emily says happily, bouncing up and down on my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck.

I stand up and balance Emily on my hip and reach for Santana's hand and we all head towards the plane. Boarding is easy and when we get on the plane Emily begs to sit at the window seat and of course I let her. I sit in a row with Emily and Santana, Tina and Quinn in the row behind us with a serious looking man in a suit.

When takeoff comes Emily starts bouncing in her seat as we watch the tarmac whiz past the window and I can't contain the smile on my face. When we take off the squeal of excitement Emily let's out makes the man behind us shoot me a dirty look but I really don't care, Emily is having fun and she's not being that loud.

"Mommy we're really high." Emily says in awe as she looks out the window.

"Uh huh, look how small everything is." I say pointing to the buildings below us.

"Is this her first time on a plane?" Santana asks.

"Second, we got a plane to New York when we moved." I respond while half listening to Emily ramble about all the things outside the window. "She was asleep at take off last time though and it was night so you couldn't see much."

"Okay." Santana replies watching Emily as she points to all the clouds that now surround us.

The flight is only an hour and a half long and Emily manages to wear herself out and falls asleep fifteen minutes before we land. When the pilot tells us we're going to land soon the whole reason behind this journey comes back to me and I feel myself start to panic at the thought that in less than an hour I'll be with Santana's parents. I want this holiday to go well but the odds are kind of stacked against me. I have a feeling Santana's mom is going to take a lot of work and god knows how her dad is going to react.

"You okay Britt." Santana asks sliding one of her hands into mine.

"Uh huh." I respond unconvincingly.

"It's all going to be fine. I can't promise that things won't get a little awkward but we'll be fine." Santana reassures me squeezing my hand.

"Okay." I agree releasing a nervous breath. "We'll be fine." I repeat.

When the wheels hit the tarmac Emily is jarred awake and she immediately turns and buries her face in my chest.

"Sleep." She mumbles grumpily and I stroke her hair soothing hoping she'll go back to sleep, otherwise she'll be grumpy and that would not be a good first impression for the Lopez's.

When we are finally allowed to get off the plane I hand Emily over to Santana as it'll be easier for her to carry her and grab our bags and get off. Quinn, Tina, Santana and I all head over to the baggage claim and after a long struggle all our luggage is located and we're headed for the pickup zone. Quinn and Tina spot Tina's mom right away and she waves at us when she sees us.

"Well there's our ride. If you need anything call, actually call anyway. Also we need to get together while we're in Lima. And if things get rough you're welcome to stay with me." Tina says wrapping me up in a tight hug before moving over to Santana and hugging her as well.

"Yeah Tina's right, call us. We're here if you need anything, okay?" Quinn says giving me a tight hug.

"Okay." I respond with a grateful smile.

"Oh and tell Em we said bye." Quinn adds as she and Tina head off to where Tina's mom is.

Once they're gone Santana and I are left standing waiting for her parents to arrive. She's still holding Emily and I kind of wish I was holding her, having her in my arms comforts me.

"Santana?" I hear a gruff voice call and I turn around and see Santana's dad headed for us with a grin on his face, that a good sign right?

"Papi!" Santana responds excitedly moving towards him and I follow after her timidly. She looks so happy to see him but really it's no surprise, she's always been a daddy's girl.

"Where's Mami?" Santana asks in confusion peering over her dad's shoulder trying to find her.

"She got caught up and couldn't make it." He responds apologetically.

"Oh. Well I guess that her loss. You remember Brittany right?" Santana asks gesturing to me and I wave awkwardly at her dad, of course he remembers me, he probably hates me.

"Hello Mr. Lopez." I greet nervously, waiting for a rude comment or dirty look.

"Hello Brittany, it's nice to see you again." He replies awkwardly but there seems to be no anger in his words, just uneasiness.

"And this is Emily." Santana says gesturing to the little girl asleep in her arms. "The plane wore her out so she's napping right now but I know you're going to love her when you meet her properly."

"I'm sure I will." He agrees with a warm smile. "I parked in the garage, shall we head off?" Her dad asks and Santana nods happily and hands Emily over to me so he can carry the bags.

We head out to the parking garage and when we get to Mr. Lopez's car I see a car seat strapped in in the back seat. I can feel my body freeze as I stare at the seat and though I know it's not really a huge deal it is to me. He put the effort into getting a seat for Emily and that makes me feel welcome, something I didn't know if I'd feel on this trip.

"I thought she might need it." Mr. Lopez says spotting my staring at the car seat. "She definitely does, she's on the short side." He says with a chuckle.

"The best things come in small packages." Santana chimes in.

"Of course you'd say that mija, you're pequeña yourself." Her dad teases patting Santana on the head.

"Hush Papi, I'm not small." Santana argues while I buckle Emily into the booster.

"Of course not mija. Now come on and get in. I want to catch the end of the game." Her dad says as he climbs into the driver's seat and I quickly make my way into the back seat. I'm surprised when Santana opts to sit in the back with me instead of the front with her dad but I'm extremely grateful she did.

"So Santana told me you're at NYU, how's that going?" Santana's dad asks as we pull out of the parking spot.

"I'm actually on a break from classes at the moment. I'll have to make up the missed time next semester, but honestly I don't know if I'll go back." I respond.

When I look to the side I can see Santana staring at me questioningly, I should have probably talked to her about my doubts over school before just blurting it out to her dad.

"Oh really, why's that?" He responds.

"Well by the time I graduate I'll be 27. I'll be one of the oldest inexperienced dancers looking for jobs. It would make more sense for me to just go out and start looking for jobs now." I answer, more for Santana's benefit than her dad.

"I guess that makes sense." He replies with a nod and then turns to focus on driving again.

"You're not going back to school?" Santana whispers to me and I turn to face her noticing the concerned look on her face.

"I'm just weighing up my options." I reply quietly.

"But you worked so hard, you got a scholarship." She argues.

"I know and I'm really grateful I did, I mean I didn't think I'd get in let alone get a scholarship. But it made me see I am actually good enough to do this and that maybe I don't need school, maybe I can dance professionally now. I always wanted to get into college to prove to people that I'm not stupid. That I am smart enough to get into college, and I did. I've proved that I am smart enough and now I can't help but feel maybe it's not actually the right place for me." I respond honestly.

"Obviously you could get into college Britt, you're a genius." Santana replies sweetly.

"Of course you'd say that." I respond with a shy laugh. "But I wanted to prove myself to the people who called me stupid, the people who put me down and now I have. Also it meant I'd get to come to New York and I think in the back of my mind I was hoping I'd find you again, which I did."

"Luckily." She cuts in with an adoring grin.

"I mean I still need to think about it more, dropping out would mean losing my funding and apartment but it's an option." I finish.

"Okay, just don't be hasty. With everything going on right now I don't want you to make a decision you're going to regret." She cautions me.

"I won't." I reply smiling at her reassuringly.

Hearing a cough from the front seat I look up and see that we're pulling into the Lopez's driveway. I have a feeling Mr. Lopez could hear our whole conversation but I'm glad he's polite enough to pretend not to have been listening.

"We're here." He announces shutting the car off and opening his door.

"You ready for this Britt?" Santana asks holding her hand out for me and I nod jerkily and step out of the car.

I gently unbuckle Emily from her seat and hear the front door open, when I stand up with Emily in my arms I see Mrs. Lopez coming towards us.

"Santana! I've missed you honey. Come give me a hug." She demands wrapping Santana up in her arms as soon as she gets close enough. "You feel skinny mija, have you been eating properly?" She asks and Santana laughs in response.

"Sí mami, I'm eating fine." She responds with a chuckle.

Mrs. Lopez then catches my eye and the smile disappears from her face. She doesn't look angry though she just looks… passive. There's something else though, I can see some other emotion on her face but I just can't work it out.

"Hello Mrs. Lopez." I greet apprehensively.

"Hello Brittany, is that your daughter?" She asks gesturing at Emily.

"Yeah this is Emily, the journey wore her out though so she's asleep right now." I answer.

"Well I made a room up for you and her so you can put her in there to nap if you'd like?" She asks and though she's not being unkind to me, I can't help but feel uncomfortable around her.

"Britt and Emily are sharing a room?" Santana asks and I look over and see a confused look on her face.

"Yes, I made the guest room up for them and your room for you." She responds and Santana looks at her in surprise.

"I thought Britt would be sharing with me." She says unsurely.

"I thought Emily might need to share with her mom, being in a new place and all." Mrs. Lopez replies casually.

"Emily can come and share with me and Britt if she gets scared, she should be fine in her own room though." Santana protests.

"San it's fine, I don't mind sharing. Em and I used to share a room every night, we're used to it." I tell her trying to not cause a commotion with her mom.

"But Britt-" Santana starts but I cut her off.

"It's fine San." I repeat and she look at me pleadingly before finally relenting.

"Fine." She agrees defeatedly. "I'll grab the bags and you can go put Emily down. You know where the guest room is, right?"

"I know where it is." I reply and I start moving hesitantly towards the house.

It's weird to be feeling so anxious over entering this house. I used to walk in here without ever knocking and no one would care. In fact they were usually happy when I arrived. Now it seems to strange, nothing big seems to have changed about it but it still seems so different. I walk in the front door and I look around the hall way. Pictures still line the walls though they seems to have changed, where a photo of me and Santana grinning on the beach aged thirteen used to hang there is now one of Santana alone sitting on the same beach. There are subtle changes everywhere I look, not enough for anyone to notice but I spent most of my teenage years here so I knew it like the back of my hand. I head upstairs and open the door to the guest room. This room is exactly the same and it's comforting to see one completely unchanged room. It takes me back to mine and Santana's first sleepover when we were eleven. Her parents wanted me to sleep in here but I snuck off to her room in the middle of the night because I was scared to be alone. Her mom found us cuddled up in the morning and from that moment on she never tried to make us sleep in separate rooms again, until now that is.

I place Emily down on the bed and she murmurs sleepily before rolling over and snuggling into the comforter. I sit down beside her and try to gather my thought before I'm faced with reality again. All things considered it's not been too bad so far, Mr. Lopez seems fine and at least Mrs. Lopez is pretending not to hate me.

The door opens and Santana walks in dragging the suitcases behind her and I stand up and help her get them into the room. I start unpacking straight away, wanting things to be neat and tidy so that If Mrs. Lopez happens to see inside she won't see a messy room, she always used to give me into trouble for being messy.

"You doing okay Britt?" Santana asks while packing away some of Emily's clothe into the dresser.

"Mm hm, I'm just thinking." I respond folding some of the clothes that have been rumpled in the journey.

"About what?" She asks.

"I spent a lot of time here when we were growing up and I kind of forgot how big a part of my life this place was." I respond glancing around the room.

"Yeah you came here most days after school then we'd go to yours after dinner. We were inseparable. My mom used to tease me so much, she said we'd have to find husbands who wouldn't mind living with each other. I guess that's kind of void now, seeing as how I'm gay and we're dating." She says with a chuckle.

"Yeah, how did I forget though?" I sigh sadly.

"Well, you stopped coming round after I moved away so by the time we broke up it'd been a year since you'd spent any proper time here." She answers.

"Still, it was my second home." I say forlornly.

"Yeah it was." She answers simply.

We continue unpacking in a comfortable silence and we're almost done when Emily wakes up.

"Morning baby." I say as she sleepily rubs her eyes and I sit down next to her and brush her hair off her face.

"Morning." She grumbles. "Water?"

"Sure. I'll go get you some." I respond standing up off the bed.

"You want me to get it?" Santana asks, eyeing me nervously.

"No I'll get it. Your dad's fine and I'm sure your mom will just ignore me if I bump into her." I answer with a shrug and head out the room.

Once I get downstairs I head for the kitchen, I hear voices coming from it so I peak around the corner to see who it is. I spot Mr. and Mrs. Lopez standing in the kitchen having what looks like a heated discussion. Instead of announcing my presence or leaving like I know I should, I hide against the wall in the hall and tune into their conversation.

"Santana's not an idiot Maribel, she wouldn't just let Brittany back into her life if she didn't have a good reason for leaving her in the first place." Mr. Lopez argues frustratedly.

"You say that but you know how Santana's always been when it comes to Brittany. She's blinded by her love for her." Mrs. Lopez retorts.

"After what happened last time I don't think there is any chance that Santana wouldn't be cautious about a relationship with Brittany. You have to trust her, at least try and act kindly until they explain what happened to them." Mr. Lopez responds.

"I'm trying but what could possibly justify the way she hurt us- her, the way she hurt her." Mrs. Lopez argues.

"What is really going on here Maribel, this isn't you. Yes you can hold a grudge but you usually at least trust Santana and mines judgment. There is something else getting to you, what is it?" Mr. Lopez questions.

"Does there really have to be another reason other than she broke my babies heart Luis? Is that not enough?" Mrs. Lopez retorts angrily.

"Yes, this isn't you. You don't get angry like this. Whatever it is please sort it out, if you keep acting the way you are Santana will leave." Mr. Lopez warns.

I hear footsteps start to head to the hall so rush off and up to mine and Emily's room, closing the door quietly when I walk in. Turning around with a relieved sigh I notice Santana and Emily sitting on the bed staring at me questioningly.

"You okay Britt?" Santana asks lifting Emily off her lap so she can walk over to me.

"Uh huh." I respond, a little out of breath.

"Where's Ems water?" She asks and I mentally kick myself for forgetting.

"Oh I forgot." I answer embarrassedly.

"That's the whole reason you went downstairs, how could you forget?" She asks suspiciously.

"Oh you know me." I answer with a shrug, trying to play the whole situation off.

"Don't do that Britt, what happened?" She asks seriously.

"Okay… I kinda listened in to you parents talking in the kitchen and then I had to run because your dad was coming out." I answer guiltily, looking down at my fidgeting hands.

"You say that's bad." Emily scolds from her place on the bed.

"Yeah it is baby, I just… wanted to know what they were thinking." I answer uncomfortably.

"And what are they thinking?" Santana asks cautiously.

"Your dad seems fine with me." I say optimistically.

"And my mom?" She asks hopefully.

"Hates me." I answer miserably.

Walking dejectedly over to the bed I lie down beside where Emily is playing with her teddy bear, oblivious to anything else.

"She doesn't hate you Britt, she just needs everything to be explained to her." Santana encourages me.

"Yeah, but I really don't want to explain." I sigh sadly.

"I can do it if you want. I meant what I said about doing it alone." She offers.

"That would be great… but I feel like I'd be wimping out. I need to face this. My therapist told me I need to face things as they come, the whole reason I'm having trouble now is because I didn't deal with this whole situation when it happened in the first place." I reply unsurely.

"How about you say the main stuff and then I fill in the gaps and answer the questions?" Santana suggests, looking at me hopefully.

"I guess that could work, when would we do it?" I ask.

"There's no time like the present. If that's okay with you?" Santana replies.

I breathe in and let out a nervous breath before hesitantly nodding my head.

"Okay, I'll just get Ems my laptop so she can watch a film then we'll head down." Santana replies, leaving the room.

"What are you saying to Tana's parents?" Emily asks curiously, looking up from her teddy.

"I didn't think you were listening." I respond and she looks away guiltily. "I'm not telling you off, if you weren't allowed to hear we would have left the room." I reassure her.

"Okay." She answers. "What are you going to say?" She asks again.

"You know how I've been a little sad lately." I ask and Emily nods. "Well we're going to explain why and hopefully Mrs. Lopez will stop being mad at me."

"You won't tell me. Why are you telling her?" Emily asks huffily.

"I'm sorry, it's adult stuff Emily. I promise to explain everything to you one day but until then I want you to know that I'm not keeping this from you to hurt you. It's just a very difficult situation and it's hard for adults to understand sometimes so you might not understand and it might upset you." I say apologetically.

"I'm smart though." Emily defends.

"I know you are baby, you're a genius. I just think you should be a little older before I explain." I say apologetically.

She looks up at me pouting sadly, waiting to see if I break and tell her. When I don't react she sighs sadly and looks back down at her teddy bear.

"Fine. Promise to tell later?" She asks holding her pinky out for me.

"I promise." I agree wrapping my pinky around hers. "I love you Emily." I tell her wrapping my free arm around her.

"Love you too mommy." She responds cuddling into my front.

We sit together until Santana returns carrying her laptop with an already loaded film on the screen, placing it on the bed in front of Emily. I peer over and see that shes put Despicable Me on and when Emily spots it she squeals excitedly.

"This okay Ems?" Santana asks pressing the play button after Emily nods enthusiastically. "You ready." She asks me and I nod standing up off the bed and heading out the room with her behind me.

"Stay here." I tell Emily as I shut the door to our room.

As we make our way downstairs I can feel the nervous energy coming off of the both of us. I grab Santana's hand to try and comfort her and it relaxes me as well. She smiles reassuringly at me before walking into the kitchen with me close behind. Santana's mom is the only one in the kitchen now and Santana coughs to get her attention. She turns around and gives us a blank look and I feel myself start to shift uncomfortably.

"Mami, do you have a minute?" Santana asks.

"Yes." She replies simply.

"Great. Siéntate, I'll get papi. You sit too Britt." She says giving my hand a squeeze before pulling away and going to get her dad.

Mrs. Lopez pulls out a chair and sits down and I nervously mirror her action so we are on opposite sides of the table. It only takes Santana a couple of seconds to return with Mr. Lopez in tow and they both take a seat at the table as well.

"So." Santana starts. "We wanted to explain some stuff to you. About our break up."

"Okay." Mr. Lopez says and he smiles at us encouragingly.

"You see, a few months before I left Santana I was… attacked." I say nervously, coughing to clear my throat as I feel it start to tighten from nerves. "I was sexually assaulted and the day I left Santana I found out I was pregnant. I don't really know what was going through my mind at the time but I was scared and I thought leaving Santana would be best for her so I came up with the story about a guy. I thought hurting her would mean she wouldn't fight for me."

I look up and meet Mr. Lopez's eyes and I see the look I always dread when I tell people about my attack, pity. I look to Mrs. Lopez beside him and she look kind of blank. Santana and I are silent for a while waiting for them to react but when the silence starts to drag on I get uncomfortable.

"Mami, Papi? Say something." Santana prompts nervously.

"Brittany… you were raped?" He asks and I nod solemnly in response. "I'm so sorry." He says gently.

"It wasn't your fault, you don't need to apologize." I reply.

"Mami?" Santana prompts looking at her mother and when she faces me I can see sadness in her eyes.

"I… I need to leave." Santana's mom says, suddenly standing from the table and Santana stands up as well reaching for her arm.

"You can't just leave." Santana says dumfounded.

"I'm sorry, I just- I need to go." She says again and pulls away from Santana and walks out the door.

"Papi, stop her." Santana demands, looking at her father in shock.

"Just let her be Santana, you know your mother. She always has a reason." Her dad replies standing as well and walking over to me. When he reaches me he leans down and wraps his arms around me and I reciprocate the hug. "I'm sorry that you were hurt. You were like a daughter to me and it kills me to think of someone doing that to you. And for what it's worth, I'm glad you're back, I can see you make my Santana so happy."

"It's worth a lot." I reply sincerely, smiling at him as he pulls away from our hug.

When he leaves the room Santana slumps down into the chair beside me with a confused expression marring her features.

"She just left." Santana mumbles. "Why did she just leave?"

"I don't know honey." I say sympathetically running a hand up and down her back soothingly.

"Mommy." I hear Emily call from the door way and I look over to see her looking at us cautiously.

"I thought I told you to stay in the room." I tell her off gently.

"I was thirsty." She says apologetically.

"I never got you your water did I? Sorry baby, come here and I'll get it for you." I apologize and I stand up and get a cup for her.

Emily walks over to Santana and pulls on her arms until it falls to her side and then clambers up onto her lap.

"Smile Tana." Emily instructs and when Santana doesn't respond she reaches up and pushes the corner of her lips up.

"Huh? What are you doing Ems?" Santana asks.

"Making you smile." Emily responds.

"Of course." Santana says with a small laugh.

I walk over to Emily and hold the cup in front of her.

"Can you get this upstairs without spilling it?" I ask her and she nods confidently. "Okay, take this and we'll be up soon." I say handing the cup of water over to her.

Emily takes it and heads out of the room and I walk over to Santana and sit on her lap.

"You're heavier than Ems, that's for sure." Santana says with a laugh but it doesn't have her normal liveliness.

"You okay?" I ask, we seem to have to ask each other that question a lot.

She looks up at me and I can see all the emotions swirling around her features but the most prevalent is confusion.

"I don't get why she just left." Santana sighs sadly.

"I know, I don't either but your dad's right. She'll have had a reason." I reassure her.

"This feels so wrong, you having to comfort me. I'm supposed to be looking after you." She says downcast.

"We're supposed to take care of each other. I've kind of been slacking on my part lately but now that I'm starting to feel better I'm going to make sure I get to take care of you to." I tell her confidently.

"You're feeling better?" She asks questioningly.

"Yeah, I mean I'm nowhere near fixed but I dealt with one of the things I was scared of and yeah it didn't go amazingly but I did it and am dealing with the consequences so it kind of gives me hope, you know?" I tell her.

"Yeah. Should we go join Ems?" She asks and I nod in agreement.

* * *

Emily, Santana and I have spent the past two hours hiding in the guest room cuddled up on the bed watching movies. Unluckily nature has struck once again and I'm really thirsty. I've been putting it off for about thirty minutes but I really need a drink.

"I'm gonna go get some water." I say standing up from my cuddled position.

"You want me to get it." Santana asks but I don't want her to move as Emily is dozing off on her chest.

"I'll get it." I respond.

I head down the stairs trying to be as quiet as possible and I listen for voices in the kitchen before entering. Thinking the cost is clear I walk in but stop in my tracks when I see Mrs. Lopez standing at the sink. Stupid hydration, it keeps getting me into awkward situations. She doesn't turn around but I know she knows I'm here as she's stopped washing the plate in her hands. I can't just leave so I decide to try clear the air.

"Mrs. Lopez." I say and she tenses but doesn't turn around. "I just want to say, I know I hurt Santana and I am truly sorry for that. I never want to hurt her like that again. I hope you can forgive me one day and maybe we can move on." I say nervously, awkwardly talking to her back.

Mrs. Lopez sighs and turns around and I half expect her to go into hulk mode and chew me out but when I see her expression it looks... broken. I'm so taken aback that I just stare at her awkwardly.

"Brittany, I know you regret hurting Santana and I understand why you did now, I really do. And to be honest, I feel like a monster. I spent so long being angry at you for leaving Santana and I'm guessing that all that time you were just as upset and you were dealing with other worse things. I left earlier because I felt ashamed and I needed time to process how I was feeling. And yes I feel guilty but it's not just that. When you left it hurt me, I thought we were close and you up and left without so much as a goodbye. It hurt because I thought you valued me and Luis as a kind of... second parents. I know you had your own parents but I thought I we meant something to you. And I know we started to drift apart when you had to repeat senior year but we never stopped caring, we always got updates about you from Santana and told her to tell you to call us. You could have even told us about the baby and we would have helped in any way we could. But you left. You were gone and I was left with a heartbroken daughter and I felt like I lost another one. I was sure you and Santana were going to get married and have my grandbabies, I mean why wouldn't you? You were perfect for each other. So when you left I was thrown. I know it may seem silly to you, with all that was going on why would you reach out to your ex-girlfriends parents, but I loved you Brittany and you hurt me and just because I understand why doesn't mean it didn't hurt me at the time. It does mean that I realize now that I have been acting terrible though and should apologize so, I'm sorry" Mrs. Lopez says and I'm stunned to say the least.

"Mrs. Lopez… I didn't know. I mean of course we were close, I loved you guys. I think I forgot how much support I had at the time though. My own parents abandoned me and I forgot I had you and Mr. Lopez. I forgot I had friends. What I did back then seems so stupid now. Everyone I talk to says they would have supported me and I can't understand how I didn't see that back then. I was just so scared and I didn't know what to do." I say sadly.

"I can only imagine. I want us to be close again Brittany, I really do and we have the holiday to work on it. I can see that you and Santana are in this for the long haul and I want you to feel comfortable around us. I am sorry for the way I've been acting, I was just a bitter old woman." She says with a laugh.

"You weren't that bad, I mean the phone call was I bit harsh but you've just been… not yourself with me." I reassure her.

"So… what now?" She asks and I honestly don't know how to respond.

"Well… you could come watch a movie with Emily and Santana?" I propose carefully, I don't really know how far this forgiveness thing has gone.

"That sounds like a great idea, we can have some hot cocoa too." Mrs. Lopez suggests and I nod excitedly and stand up to go get Santana and Emily. "Oh and Brittany, call me Maribel. You stopped calling me Mrs. Lopez when you were twelve." She says with a smile and a happy grin spread across your face.

I leave the room and run upstairs, bursting into my room. Santana looks at me like I'm crazy and Emily snaps out of her nap and sits up.

"You forgot the water again." Santana points out and I laugh and jump onto the bed between them.

"I have a better idea, how about we go watch a movie and drink hot chocolate with your mom?" I suggest and Emily looks unsure at the idea. "Come on, I'm sure she'll let you pick and Mama Lopez's Hot Chocolate's the best." I encourage her and Emily gives in with a smile and a nod.

"I need to toilet though." She says.

"Okay, you go and then come back here and we'll head down." I say and she nods and skips out of the room.

"What did you do?" Santana asks suspiciously and I glance beside her and see her glaring curiously at me.

"I used the Pierce charm." I say evasively, a grin covering my features.

"Oh really?" She says raising an eyebrow. "Come on Britt, tell me." She whines playfully.

"We talked. She said she understood and was sorry for being mean. Then she explained why she was mean. I think she still felt hurt that I left without saying anything to them. We were close and I just walked away. I kind of forgot how close we were, it's good to remember though." I say happily.

"She dam well better have apologized. What was she thinking just leaving like that?" Santana says with a frown and I laugh and reach forward to smooth it out. "You look happier. I like that you're so happy right now, it a nice change. Crap that sounds bad, I just meant- I meant you've been so sad. Not that that your fault or- crap. Why do I even try to talk?" She sighs exasperatedly, sinking back onto the bed defeatedly and covering her eyes.

I look down at the slight red tint on her cheeks and I can't help but let out a laugh.

"I love you." I tell her simply.

She uncovers her eyes and looks up at me unsurely and I smile and lean down and kiss her softly.

"I love you." She responds smiling up at me.

"Let's go get our movie on." I say standing up and pulling Santana off the bed after me. "I've got some bonding to do." I say with a laugh.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading. I took some liberty with the Brittana back story in this chapter as I don't think it's ever fully explained how they met or what age they were, I went for them meeting at the start of middle school.****Heads up to any readers who don't get emails about stories, I only update on Wednesday evenings (UK time). Just so you don't have to check it all the time, I know how annoying it can be to check the story's you're reading to see if they've been updated and seeing they haven't. Please leave a review, I love hearing what you guys think.**


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